


Fighting for the Future

by HelenPalsgraf



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-06 12:41:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 93,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21438328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenPalsgraf/pseuds/HelenPalsgraf
Summary: What if Morgana's prophetic dreams had been much more useful, particularly early on? If she'd gotten enough spoilers (say, by viewing Seasons 2-5 in her dreams), could she have prevented her tragic future? Yet another redemption fic for Morgana, who deserves it.NOTE: This fic is Rated M. If sexual relations between consenting adults is upsetting to you, particularly when it involves women having agency over their own bodies and their sexual choices, neither this fic, nor "Le Morte d'Arthur," is for you. Slut-shaming women is not acceptable behavior; any more of that nonsense, and I'm turning off comments. Go shout at Sir Thomas Malory's grave, boys. He at least got paid for his writing.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Morgana (Merlin)
Comments: 104
Kudos: 487





	1. Chapter 1

_The sword pierced her abdomen, the pain more blindingly severe than anything she had ever experienced. She tried to gasp for air, but the sensation was too intense. She looked up into the face of her killer, those piercing blue eyes filled with anguish, and for a brief moment was reminded of when she was once fond of them, fond of him. But that was a distant memory, a lifetime ago, and instead, her final moments as her life force left her were spent with hatred in her heart, her final thoughts a curse…_

“Merlin!” she sat up gasping, tears streaming down her face. She ran her hands over her stomach, expecting the sticky dampness of blood and the stench of intestines, but found only her sweat beneath the smooth satin of her nightgown.

He’d killed her... It wasn’t the first time he’d tried either. She shuddered in repulsion at the memory of choking as the poison ran through her veins.

She got out of bed and poured some wine to calm her nerves. _It wasn’t real_, she kept telling herself. _It was just a dream._ But how long had she slept? It felt like years. She’d lived an entire other life in her dreams. One where she was a sorceress, she had a sister, she was Uther’s daughter, Arthur’s enemy, Merlin’s enemy. Merlin… no, Emrys… her destiny and her doom.

She was still shivering at the memory of her death at his hands, that tortured look in his eyes as he killed her. That couldn’t be though, she tried convincing herself. Merlin wouldn’t hurt her, and he certainly wasn’t a powerful sorcerer. He was just a nice young man, Arthur’s devoted servant, and he was her friend, a kind and loyal one at that.

But in her dream, it was she who was disloyal, to Uther, to Arthur, to take her place as Queen. How absurd. Why should she want that? If she wanted to be Queen of Camelot, she would have pushed for betrothal to Arthur all these years. She poured herself another goblet of wine.

The idea of marriage to Arthur had always made her ill though, no matter how many times it was suggested by members of the court. She loved Arthur, she had to admit, but like an annoying little brother, which, if her dreams told it true, may be the actual nature of their relationship. Even if it wasn’t true, Arthur was arrogant and obnoxious and she couldn’t imagine being married to someone who thought himself her better, even if it meant being crowned Queen.

Did she really want to be Queen though? She searched herself for the blinding ambition she’d harbored in her dream, but felt no desire for power over Camelot. The only power she wanted to wield was over herself and her life, which felt desperately out of her grasp.

It hardly mattered. She didn’t know how much longer she could deny that she had magic, a reality that felt just as terrifying in its uncertainty as her dream was in its destruction. In her dream, Merlin sent her to the Druids to learn, but it only got them killed. What he didn’t tell her, however, is that he has magic. She paced around the room in the dark, too frightened to find candles to burn. _Was it true? Was any of it true? _

She couldn’t chance that it was just a nightmare. She certainly didn’t want her life to end as it had in the dream. She didn’t want to live her life as in the dream, either. Angry, afraid, full of hatred, although she often cycles through those emotions at present. She feels a lot of resentment for Uther, she always has. But she knows he loves her, and despite it all, she loves him in return. She had almost lost herself after he’d killed Gwen’s father, and had cruelly chained her and locked her in the dungeons. She had wanted him dead, but ultimately, when given the opportunity, she couldn’t go through with it. But no matter how she feels about Uther, she can’t imagine wanting to kill Arthur and take his birth right. She just wants Camelot to be a better place, safe for those who possess magic. Safe for her.

Her mind kept going back to the dream. How can she know if the dream was prophetic? She had to know for sure, she had to find out what was true, if any of it, and what may have been her imagination.

The sun had yet to rise but she looked at the sky from her window, and realized the castle would awaken soon. She had but an hour at most. She decided the first thing to do would be to confirm the existence of a certain beast within the bowels of the castle, another seer who could confirm her dreams. The dragon. She quickly dressed herself, and walked the corridors until she found the correct passage.

As she descended the steps, she realized someone already had audience with the dragon: Merlin.

“She’s not a witch! She’s my friend!” she heard Merlin exclaim.

“She cannot be trusted,” the dragon grumbled.

“What makes you say that?” Merlin asked.

“It would be better if the Witch...”

“Stop calling her that!”

“It would be better if the Witch never knew the true extent of her powers.”

“You're wrong. I know her. She has a good heart,” Merlin said, the pain in his voice evident.

“You failed to heed my advice in the past and it brought grave consequences.”

“I won't abandon her,” he said, stubbornly.

“I will not give you the help you seek. If you pursue this course of action, you do so alone.”

Merlin said no more, and turned to leave after the dragon left. He yelped in surprise as he found Morgana waiting for him on the stairs.

“Milady,” he stammered. “What are you…”

She looked at him with her haunting green eyes, her expression pained. “I needed to confirm that my dream was true. I thought I would start with seeing if the dragon was real.”

“How much of that did you hear?” he asked, his jaw rigid in the torch light.

“Enough to know what I dreamed about tonight really is true,” she frowned, fighting back tears.

Merlin looked at her with such compassion, she couldn’t imagine him ever trying to do her harm. “I don’t care what he says. I want to help you. The Druids, they can…”

“Merlin, no,” she said with alarm, stopping him. “That will just get the Druids killed. No, I need to learn to control my magic in a way that it won’t be discovered, and I can’t endanger the Druids to do it. But, Merlin, I think you can help me with that yourself.”

“H-how?” he asked, apprehensive.

“Because I know you have magic,” she said firmly, now certain of what she’d seen in her dream. She grabbed his hand with her own.

He opened his mouth to deny it, but her eyes flashed gold as she touched him, and he felt her power course through his body.

He closed his eyes reveling in it, and when he opened them, his eyes had turned gold as well. He’d never felt anything like it.

“Morgana…” he said her name softly, almost prayer-like.

She looked up at him with desperation and pain in her once-again green eyes. “If my dream tells it true, and I think it does, you are the most powerful sorcerer in history. You’re my destiny, and my doom.”

“Morgana, I refuse to believe that,” he said, shaking his head. In the firelight, she could see the despair on his face.

_Good, you should feel this pain,_ she thought. “At one point in my dream, you poisoned me. You believed it was the only way to save Camelot, so you sacrificed me. I was used as a vessel for a dark spell, and only my death would lift the curse. I died in your arms, gasping for breath as you wept over me.”

He looked devastated. “No, no, I couldn’t make that choice, even to save Camelot, how could I,” he said, agitated, running his hand over his face. “Who would place such dark magic on you? We can’t let that happen. We can get you out of Camelot, somewhere safe.”

“But I lived instead, tormented by your betrayal, desperate for revenge against Uther, against you, and hungry for power. Long story short, my dream ended with you plunging a sword into my belly,” she said flatly.

“Never. Please don’t think it true. I could never do that, not to you above all,” he whispered, his eyes shutting in pain.

She knew he was sincere, but for how long would he remain so? “But you will do it, and it is something I need to prevent on my own. I need to change my fate. All of our fates. But, Merlin, can you help me? Can you help me control my magic so I won’t be discovered? Uther will burn me the same as any other sorceress, the same as those he’s rounding up now, if he finds out my true nature. And if I go to the Druids, unspeakable things will happen to them that I can never forgive Uther for enacting.”

“He’s more likely to burn me in your place, Milady,” he grumbled.

“We won’t let that happen. I don’t want the dream to come true, not any of it. I don’t want the hatred in my heart, I don’t want us to be enemies. We’re friends, Merlin. I want it to stay that way, I want to have a different future,” she pleaded, her eyes wet with unshed tears.

“I want that too, Morgana. So much,” he sighed. “My destiny is tied with Arthur’s, to see him become Camelot’s greatest king. He will unite Albion and bring magic back. That’s the future I want to see come true.”

She smiled bravely, despite her knowledge she would never be part of that future. “That would be a beautiful future, indeed. One I would much rather see.”

“Come, Milady, we should get back before the castle awakens.”

“When can we meet? Please, Merlin. I need you to teach me,” she pleaded.

He frowned. “Let me talk to Gaius. He’ll be furious you know about my magic, but he won’t turn you away, not now. We have to help you control your power or it will be discovered.”

She smiled brightly, her eyes glistening with tears. “I will send Gwen away early tonight and then come for my sleeping draught. We can talk then.”

He nodded, the uncertainty still apparent on his face.

“Thank you, Merlin,” she said, spontaneously hugging him. He seemed startled, but hugged her back. She lamented her painful dream, her face buried in his chest. “The dream was… just so awful. To have hated you, and to have you hate me, I’m tormented by the very thought. I don’t know how I became that person, so full of hate and anger that I would turn against the people I love.” She looked up at him with fierce determination. “But I refuse to become it. I will fight that future from ever coming true.”

“I’ll never let anything happen to you, I swear it,” he said, sinking his fingers into her hair, his voice shaking.

She pulled away and looked at him with sadness in her eyes. “I believe you now, in this moment. But if there’s ever a choice, I realize you’ll choose Arthur over me. I’ll try not to hate you should that time come, but I’ll do my best to never give reason for that to happen.”

She left him standing on those narrow steps to think.


	2. Chapter 2

“It wasn’t my fault, Gaius. She touched me with her magic, and, and, my body just responded,” Merlin stammered, red-faced.

Gaius rolled his eyes in disgust and sighed, “Merlin, you idiot. You need to learn to control yourself, especially around a highborn lady. Have you no shame?”

Morgana stifled a laugh. “I already knew, Gaius. I learned it from my dream. And I’m glad for it. Because in my dream, I didn’t learn Merlin had magic until the very end, when I was at war with Arthur, and hated them both. I don’t want that dream to come true. Maybe now I can change everything. Use my magic for good,” Morgana said, her eyes full of hope.

“Milady,” Gaius frowned. “If the King ever found out…”

“He’ll find out sooner if I don’t learn to control my magic. I just… I don’t want to live in fear any more.”

“The fear doesn’t go away,” Merlin said, quietly. “The fear of discovery is always there.”

“That’s why I must learn. To protect myself. To protect others. I want my magic to be good, not the kind of magic I saw in my dream,” she said, looking haunted. “I… have a sister.”

“A sister? Where is she?” Merlin asked. Gaius looked shamefaced.

“I expect we’ll be seeing her soon. She was sent away as a child, taught the old religion. She’s a very powerful sorceress and she hates Uther.”

Gaius frowned. “What else did you learn from your dreams, Milady?”

“I found out about Merlin’s power, of course. And… that Uther is my true father.”

Gaius sighed deeply. “If true, it would explain a great deal.”

Merlin frowned. “You’re older. You would be the heir, not Arthur.”

Morgana gave a sad smile. “Trueborn sons inherit before bastard daughters. It makes no difference for me, other than if Arthur died without an heir. And I don’t want that. At least not now, I don’t. But I did, very much, in my dream. I fear that dream will become reality,” she shivered.

Merlin put a hand to calm her shaking wrist, and refilled her wine.

She took a grateful sip. “Gaius, I need you and Merlin to teach me. Will you?”

“Of course, Milady,” he sighed. “But how will you explain your time spent away from Court?”

“I thought you could accept me as your apprentice, to learn the art of healing. I could learn that too, in addition to magic. It will be useful in the battles to come.”

“But will Uther allow it?” Gaius asked.

“Leave that to me,” she said, thoughtfully.

Merlin nodded. “Morgana, I thought for tonight, we might work on a spell that would start fire and extinguish fire. You know. Just in case…”

Gaius got up to latch the door, in case anyone came looking for the Lady Morgana, or for either of them.

Merlin pulled out a bowl and filled it with parchment. To Morgana’s delight, with only a word, the parchment was alight.

“_Baerne_,” he had commanded.

“So that’s how you did it!” Morgana laughed. Merlin and Gaius looked puzzled, so she explained, “In your village, when I was trying to light the fire. The wood was too damp, I knew it wasn’t my lack of skill with a flint. I heard you whisper something. To be frank, I thought it was an expletive.”

Merlin grinned, sheepishly.

The smile left Morgana’s lips. “Oh. Your friend Will. He wasn’t a sorcerer at all, was he?”

Merlin’s smile softened. “No, but he knew I was. He died saving Arthur, and he saved me too.”

Morgana gasped with delight as Merlin extinguished the flame with a counter spell.

“Your turn, Milady,” Merlin said, dumping the ash and refilling the parchment.

It took her a few tries until she could light it, but she was ecstatic when she finally did. It was far harder to extinguish the fire, however. She was relieved when it finally worked.

“Now, for the hard part,” Merlin said, and she watched in awe as Merlin pieced the ashes back together to make the parchment as good as new.

“Could you fix anything? Or is it just the power to undo your own spells?” Morgana asked.

“I’m not really sure. I haven’t tried. I’m still learning myself,” Merlin said, destroying the parchment again.

By the end of the evening, Morgana still couldn’t fully repair the parchment, but Merlin assured her that it had taken him days of trying to accomplish the spell to master it, and she’d made far greater progress than he had in an evening.

“It’s getting late, Milady. How about we resume tomorrow?” Gaius suggested as Merlin began to yawn while Morgana flipped through his spell book.

“Of course, you both need your rest. I bid you goodnight,” she said, closing the book and running her hand across the cover lovingly.

“I’ll walk you back to your chambers,” Merlin said, getting up to stretch. They walked together in silence until they reached her door.

“Thank you so much for this evening, I feel I’ve learned so much already,” Morgana said.

“I’m glad to do it. It’s nice to have someone to study with, it makes me feel less…”

“Alone,” she finished for him. “Thank you for that too, that I don’t have to feel alone anymore.”

“I too am glad we’re not alone anymore,” he said.

She bid him goodnight, closing the door behind her.

* * *

That night her dreams were calm and happy. A memory of reading with her father, swordplay with Arthur as children, and the horse she was gifted on her sixteenth birthday. Her happy dream ended when she woke up needing to use the chamber pot. She returned to bed, still thinking on her beautiful silver filly and drifted back to sleep.

But that’s when her dream shifted. She was in a cave, tied up. Her sister was forcing her to drink a potion. There were these dripping, oozing doll-like objects hanging all around her. The hatred growing in her heart for Uther, for Arthur, for Merlin. She hated them. They’d taken everything from her. She would kill them all and take what was hers!

She sat up in bed with a start. She didn’t know why that hatred existed only when she drank the potion. Could it be an enchantment? Could it be that she can’t avoid her destiny even if she wants to?


	3. Chapter 3

“Morgana, did you sleep well?” Uther asked, as she sat down for breakfast in the dining hall.

“Quite well, My Lord. Gaius’s new sleeping draught is working wonders. He truly is a gifted physician,” she smiled brightly.

“That he is. We are certainly blessed to have him.”

“It made me consider, My Lord, that terrible day at Father’s grave when that man tried to kill you. What if he’d injured you? Or me? We were so far from the castle, I wouldn’t have known what to do without Gaius.”

“Fortunately, thanks to your skill with a blade, we didn’t have to find out,” he said, squeezing her hand affectionately.

“And that’s what made me consider, My Lord. I was taught to use a sword as Arthur was as a child. And it saved our lives. Perhaps my education should continue.”

“In sword fighting? I hardly think you need more training, you’re quite efficient,” he said, as a servant refilled his cup.

“No, I mean in healing,” she said, watching his response carefully.

Uther looked at her with confusion. “You wish to train as a physician? That’s highly uncommon for a highborn lady.”

“So is learning to wield a sword,” she smiled. “I believe learning to be a healer would make me a great asset to the Court. Gaius is getting older, and eventually he will need more help.”

“You intend to replace him one day as Court Physician?” Uther asked, surprised.

“I could never replace, but merely serve alongside. I feel I could do more to serve Camelot and you, My Lord. I would still be able to perform my duties at Court of course, but I would need time to study and work alongside Gaius.”

“Morgana, we’ve not spoken of this in awhile, and your father wished you should only wed if you choose, but would you not wish to wed soon? You speak of staying in Camelot, but what about the need to run a castle for your Lord Husband?”

“I do not wish to wed soon, My Lord. Perhaps eventually. But even if I never wed, you would not object to me remaining here with you, would you?” she asked, a hint of vulnerability in her voice she knew Uther couldn’t resist.

“My dearest girl, Camelot is your home, and you are always welcome in my Court,” he said, squeezing her hand again.

She smiled affectionately at him. “So you won’t object to me asking Gaius to be his apprentice?”

He returned her smile. “If that is what your heart desires, then you shall have it. I am sure it would be helpful to have a woman physician as well, aside from the midwives, of course.”

“Thank you, My Lord!” she beamed at him. “I hope Gaius will allow me to be his apprentice.”

“He doesn’t have a choice. I’m the King, and it shall be done,” he said with authority.

“I’m very excited, My Lord. If I may be excused, I will go find Gaius immediately.”

He nodded, and smiled happily as she kissed his cheek before departing.

* * *

“Merlin!” Morgana greeted him, and she passed him and Arthur walking towards the dining hall.

“Good morning to you too, Morgana,” Arthur rolled his eyes. Morgana ignored him.

“The King says I can apprentice with Gaius. He’s even ordered it done. I’m going to be a physician!” she grinned.

“That’s wonderful news, Morgana! You’ll be an incredible physician,” Merlin said, his dimpled smile wide.

“Why on earth would you want to be a physician?” Arthur asked suspiciously.

“Because I want to help people,” she said, lifting her chin proudly.

Arthur looked at her and then Merlin. “Strange,” he said, then continued to the hall.

Morgana grinned at Merlin and then whispered in his ear, “I’ll see you later today.”

He couldn’t help but flush at the close contact, then continued to catch up with Arthur who was looking at them suspiciously, as she walked in the opposite direction.

“This has to stop,” Arthur said. “The King would have your head if he found out, and there's no point denying it.”

“Denying what?” he asked with alarm.

“Your affections for the Lady Morgana.”

He breathed out a laugh, “Right.”

“Take a bit of advice from someone who knows about women.”

“Well, if such a person existed, I would,” Merlin grinned.

“Stick to girls who are more...how can I put it? On your level.”

That’s right, lowly servant. “Thanks.”

“She can't be your friend. Let alone anything else.”

He frowned. “Yeah, I know.”

Arthur looked at him critically. “You can't hide anything from me, Merlin.”

“I wouldn't dream of it.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Please don’t lead him on, Morgana. He’s really very delicate,” Arthur said, having told Morgana his deductions about Merlin’s feelings. 

“Really, Arthur, Merlin has never been anything but completely appropriate. In fact, you could stand to learn some manners from him,” she said, drinking her tea and watching him stuff his face with disgust.

“But he definitely pines for you,” Arthur said, talking with his mouth full.

“As do a great many men,” she answered haughtily.

“Present company excluded, I assure you,” he replied, finishing his ale.

“Good, that would be disgusting if you did. Practically incest, I would say,” she laughed. “But leave poor Merlin alone. He’s been a good friend to me, and to you. He would never cross a line of propriety.”

“But you would,” he glared.

She grinned wickedly. “And have on numerous occasions. But I promise, I will preserve Merlin’s virtue.”

“Gwen, could you please let Merlin know it’s time to train, and I’ll expect to see him there. Virtue in tact,” Arthur said, leaving the room with a huff.

“Of course, Sire,” she called after him. 

“Can you believe him? He thinks I’m going to seduce poor Merlin!” Morgana laughed.

Gwen smiled. “I think he’s just being protective, Milady.”

“He should hold Merlin in much higher esteem than he does. He doesn’t appreciate his worth.”

“I’m glad you do, Milady. Merlin is a good man.”

“He is, truly.”

“And rather attractive,” Gwen offered.

She smiled. “Mmm, indeed he is and… oh, not you too, Gwen?” she frowned.

“I’m just saying I wouldn’t blame you if you fancied him a bit. I did at one time.”

“But you don’t now,” Morgana said.

Gwen shook her head.

“I suppose Arthur does overshadow him,” she grinned as Gwen’s bronzed cheeks flushed. “It’s okay. I’ll keep your secret that you fancy my br— almost brother, if you won’t tell Merlin that I do find him quite attractive and charming.”

“That sounds fair, Milady,” Gwen giggled.

“Not that either of us have much of a chance for our heart’s desire so long as Uther sits the throne,” she frowned. “Can you imagine, when Arthur is king? You, Queen of Camelot. Me, the King’s sister, the Princess Morgana and Court Physician.”

“And? Wed to Merlin?” she teased.

Morgana laughed. “It could only be worse if we were all sorcerers. Uther would roll over in his grave.”

“It’s a lovely dream, although the King might outlive us all,” Gwen said.

Morgana shook her head. “No, the shock of both of his beloved children marrying servants would certainly do him in.”

Gwen laughed along with Morgana.

“Seriously though, I have no intention of putting Merlin in harm’s way by making any romantic advances on him. He’s been a true friend of us all. Arthur’s imagination runs away with him.”

“Of course, I know you would never want to hurt Merlin.”

“Please be careful yourself. Don’t misunderstand me, Gwen. I would love to see you at Arthur’s side as his queen. There is no one I would rather call my Queen. But…”

“But it is merely a lovely dream, nothing more. I know my place as well, Milady. As does Merlin.”

Morgana grasped Gwen’s rough hands in her own. “Someday, Gwen, it will be more than just a dream. Someday, Camelot will be a place that values us for who we truly are, and not just for what we appear to be.”

“I hope to live to see that dream come true,” Gwen smiled.

_As do I_, Morgana thought. _Rather than die at Merlin’s hands. _

“Oh goodness, I should get going. I don’t wish to keep Gaius waiting,” Morgana said.

“Will you need me to accompany you when you’re there?”

“Oh no. Please take a well-earned break from my company during that time. I plan to spend several hours each day with Gaius and on my own with my studies. I expect you’ll have a lot more free time to do as you like.”

“If you need me though, I will be happy to oblige.”

“Of course. Thank you, Gwen.” She smiled. “You’re a caring friend.”

“As are you, Milady. Enjoy your studies.”

As Morgana walked down the castle halls, she thought more about her dream, and about her destiny and Arthur’s. She thought about all the harm Uther had done, and what the Druid man had told her in the dream life. She wasn’t sure Uther deserved pity, but she would try for her own sake. Maybe his heart, like her own, could be changed for the better.

* * *

She worked with Gaius all afternoon, without a hint of magic. He gave her multiple books from which to study, one on anatomy and one on botany, and another on the history of healing. Morgana was to return to her room in the evening and study these books. She would only study magic after Gwen had left for the evening and she returned to Gaius’s chambers, where she could also work with Merlin. This was so their time was less likely to be interrupted, and Merlin would be available after leaving Arthur for the night. It was explainable as Morgana needed to attend Court during the day and needed additional time for her studies in the evening.

As the weeks went on, and turned to months, Morgana was happier than she’d been since her father had died. She was learning so much, about both magic and medicine, and she was able to help the people of Camelot. She had recently cured a child’s fever, the mother weeping at her feet in gratitude. It made her chest swell with pride that she had worked hard to find the cure, and with traditional medicine, not even with magic.

It also gave her a fresh perspective on the needs of the people, working so often among the peasants. She was able to advise Uther on what needs were unmet and how things could be better managed. He had told her he was proud of her. She was unexpectedly touched by that declaration.

And best of all, she had been without any terrible prophetic dreams in months. Until suddenly she wasn’t.


	5. Chapter 5

“Merlin, I need to speak with you,” Morgana said, cornering him in Arthur’s room as he was gathering the laundry. 

“What’s the matter?” he asked, looking out into the hall for listening ears. 

“My sister, she’s going to appear here soon. I need to figure out what to do.”

Morgana explained what happened in her original dream. That her sister lured Arthur to see a vision of his mother, so that Arthur would try to murder their father, an act that would destroy him and Camelot. Merlin had convinced him it was a lie to prevent that from happening. 

“What should I do?” she asked, wringing her hands nervously. 

“I think it depends on why she wants Uther dead. Why does Morgause hate him so much?” 

Morgana searched her memory of the vision, but came up short. “I suppose because of the purge. The same reason all sorcerers hate him.”

“Then would she not be swayed by the promise of a better Camelot?”

“I don’t believe so. Her heart is full of hate. In my dream, the most recent one, because I don’t hate Uther, now she enchants me to share her hatred. Merlin, I’m afraid of becoming that. That future, where you poison me to save Camelot, where you plunge a sword into my belly. Merlin, I’ve died twice in your arms, at your hands… I don’t want it to come true…” she said, shivering. 

He ran a hand over his face in frustration. “No, I can’t ever imagine that. I won’t let it happen.”

“You might not have a choice,” she whispered, her voice trembling. 

“Can we stop her in some other way? There must be a way. So that future never comes to pass.”

“I don’t know,” she said, pacing, wringing her hands in frustration. “I don’t want to hurt her. I know I’ve never met her, but she’s my sister, and…”

He caught her hands in his to stop her pacing, and said kindly, “I know, I understand. But Arthur’s your brother, and Uther your father. Their lives are at stake too.” He looked at her with a sudden pained expression. “And yours, Morgana. Your life’s in danger too. I can’t let that happen.”

“What if we went to her first? What if we showed her that Camelot could change? That she can be part of it?” she looked up at him, her face hopeful.

“Okay. Where can we find her?”

“I think I know where she’ll be. The question is, how do we convince Arthur to be part of this?”

* * *

They eventually decided to tell Arthur as much truth as they could without revealing themselves as sorcerers. Gaius admitted his role in saving the girl’s life, and her parentage. Morgana led them to the cave, certain Morgause would already know they were coming. She wasn’t wrong. 

“Sister, I am surprised you’ve come to me willingly. I am certain you must know what the future holds,” the blonde woman said, peering at her sister and her companions with curiosity. 

“It is the future I am trying to prevent, Morgause. I want a better future for both of us, for all of us. One where we can be together, and not live in fear, and where our fear does not turn to hatred.”

“You’re very naïve to think that’s possible,” Morgause said, eyeing Arthur and Merlin suspiciously. “What kind of man are you, Arthur Pendragon? Brave and noble like your mother, or full of fear and hatred like your father?”

“My father is a brave and noble king, but he hates magic, because a sorcerer killed my mother,” he answered, his hand tense at the hilt of his sword.

“Is that so?” she says, her eyebrows raising. “What if another sorcerer could bring her back to you? Well, only for a few moments.”

“You could do that?” he asked, suddenly unsure.

“I could. Consider it a favor, one I will ask that you repay someday.”

“Please. I would like that very much,” Arthur said, his voice pained.

* * *

As they left the cave, Morgana held Arthur’s hand tightly. Merlin walked ahead to give them privacy. 

“I need you to know something, Arthur,” she began. 

“My father is a liar and a hypocrite. What more do I need to know?” Arthur said, pained. 

“I know. But he’s more than that. He’s a man who loved you so much that he was willing to use what he feared the most to have you.”

“He didn’t do it because he loved me, he did it because he wanted an heir. He killed my mother,” he said, his rage simmering. 

“No, he didn’t. He couldn’t have known the price was her life. Sometimes, with magic, the price isn’t clear. A life for a life. Perhaps he expected to pay the price with some peasant he’d procured. You’ll never know until you ask him, and have a real conversation with him. But, Arthur, what will you do with the information? What do you hope to gain?”

“I want the truth, even if I have to carve it out of him,” he seethed. “I want him to pay for what he did to my mother, for all the lives he took to quell his own guilt.”

“Arthur, I’ve been down this path before, it’s a very dark path. And at the end, the person who’s hurt most is you. You have an opportunity here, to find out the truth. And if the truth is what Morgause gave you, you can use that knowledge to do some good.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, honestly confused.

“Stop the persecution, stop the executions. No one else has to die for possessing magic. This can finally end,” she grasped his hands in hers, her voice thick with desperation.

“Father will never stop…”

“He will if you tell him to. You have the leverage,” she pleaded.

Arthur looked shocked. “Blackmail the King?”

“It’s not blackmail, it’s… applying political pressure,” Morgana smiled tightly. “It’s better than a sword in the chest.”

“I’m not so sure it is better. He deserves the sword,” Arthur said, still shaking with anger. 

“Perhaps, but you don’t deserve what will come of it. You aren’t a murderer, you couldn’t commit regicide, patricide, without it destroying you,” Morgana said. “I know, because I was once tempted as well, and I couldn’t go through with it. Even after he’d hurt me. I didn’t want to become the very thing I hated, someone who acted based on fear and hatred. I want to be better than that. I know you do too.”

Arthur fell silent but for the tears streaming down his face. Morgana pulled him into her embrace. “I’m here for you, you don’t have to face this alone, and you never will. I’ll always be at your side, my brother.”

“Brother… you’ve never called me that before,” Arthur said, giving a sniffle unbecoming of a prince.

She stiffened, aware of her slip. 

“But it’s true, isn’t it? The whispers all these years? Uther is your true father, isn’t he? And you’ve recently realized it?” Arthur said, still clinging to her, his face in her hair. 

“I believe so, yes,” she admitted. “Would you find that disgraceful? To have me as your sister?”

He pulled away, his face splotchy from the tears that had spilled down his cheeks. “Never. I’d be grateful if you were.”

Morgana stifled a sob and embraced him again, her beloved brother and the Once and Future King of Camelot. 

* * *

They faced Uther together, confronting him about his secrets, his shame. The death of his wife, the conception of his daughter. They didn’t do it in anger or outrage, but with compassion and pity.

“This can’t continue, Uther,” Morgana said. “The persecution of magic users. Would you have hunted all physicians if Gaius had made a mistake that killed one of us? Blamed the entire trade for the acts of one?”

“That’s different. The sorceress knew it would kill her…”

“And you didn’t?” Arthur asked, pained.

“I didn’t think it would be her!” he shouted, red-faced and angry.

“But it would be someone,” Morgana said.

He frowned, calming slightly. “I had selected a prisoner.”

“But that wouldn’t satisfy the Triple Goddess. It had to be someone you loved,” Morgana said.

“So I’ve been told,” Uther said, his eyes closed as he sighed.

“Then the sorceress did nothing you didn’t ask for, but you’ve persecuted her people for over two decades since. It has to stop,” Arthur said.

“If you think I’m going to welcome magic back into Camelot, you’ve lost your mind,” Uther said, angrily.

“I’m not asking that. There’s a middle ground. Just stop hunting them. Let the Druids alone. Don’t execute sorcerers, just exile them if they’re caught practicing magic. Let them live their lives, somewhere, if not in Camelot,” Arthur pressed.

“I won’t be soft on magic just because I bear some fault in using it to have you,” he growled.

“How would the people feel to know their king’s failings are the basis of his policy?” Morgan said, heatedly. “What sort of king murders innocents because of his own regrets?”

Uther looked at them with cold fury. “I won’t stop protecting Camelot from magic. I will not stop until I see every last sorcerer burned. We’re done here.”

They left Uther’s chambers in defeat. 

“He’s a monster,” Morgana sobbed against Arthur’s chest. “He’ll just continue to murder innocent people. And eventually either he’ll murder my sister, or she him.”

“I’m not going to let that happen. She’s your sister, so, sorceress or not, she’s my family too. I’ll find a way to protect them both,” he said, stroking her hair as she cried.

“You really mean that, Arthur?” she looked up at him in surprise. 

“I mean it. I won’t let her hurt anyone, but I will protect her from our father. You have my word.”

She tightened her grip on him and whispered, “Thank you.”

She knew it may be impossible for him to keep his word, but she loved him even more for trying.


	6. Chapter 6

“I, King Uther, sovereign ruler of Camelot, do give and grant unto my beloved ward the Lady Morgana, daughter of Gorlois, Duke of Cornwall, the style and titular dignity of the Princess of Camelot, upon her adoption as my legal daughter. I am pleased to declare my will and pleasure that the Lady Morgana shall henceforth be known as Her Royal Highness, The Princess Morgana. By royal decree, The Princess Morgana shall be an heir to the throne of Camelot, next in line after Prince Arthur.”

Uther placed the gold tiara on top of Morgana’s head of raven waves as she kneeled before him. She looked over at her brother, who gave her a small smile.

The ceremony was short but to the point. Uther refused to publicly admit his infidelity, but he had agreed to a compromise by making Morgana a rightful heir and Princess of Camelot, by adopting her as his daughter. Arthur threatened to expose his secret otherwise, and she would be made Princess upon his death anyway by Arthur, where he would give testimony of Uther’s infidelity. Better to preserve his legacy.

He still wouldn’t budge about magic though, his heart was too cold, his guilt and grief still too raw some twenty years later. So, Morgana and Arthur would have to work together to protect any innocent magic users and Druids, as they had protected Mordred, and hope they didn’t have to cross any lines that would bring them into further conflict with Uther. Fortunately, things had been quiet as of late. She desperately hoped that would continue to be the case.

Uther embraced her as she rose, Princess Morgana of Camelot. She did her best to feel warmth in her heart for him, but she still felt mostly coldness. She curtsied to him and to Arthur before taking her seat to begin Court business.

When she returned to her chambers at the end of the long day, she flung the tiara across the room onto her bed and sank exhausted into her chair. It was hard to look at Uther and see a father and not a monster, to remain the loving daughter of Camelot and now of Uther, as the coldness swirled inside of her. But she knew she had to continue to try. Perhaps he would come around. But in the meantime, she knew Arthur would want to forgive and forget far sooner than she would, so she had to tread carefully. She didn’t want her brother ending up raiding any more Druid villages and getting further into trouble with the Triple Goddess. She’d seen how that all turned out.

In the meantime, she had to continue to keep her secret from them both, and the rest of the world. It was exhausting, pretending to be something she was not. The only time she could be herself was with Merlin. Gaius still was highly uncomfortable with her use of magic, knowing he was betraying his king by instructing her, but with Merlin, she could be free of any scrutiny. The problem was her growing affections for him.

To distract from those feelings, she satisfies herself with the occasional lover among the guards, but she can’t deny she has occasionally imagined it’s Merlin in her bed. But even with those complex feelings, it’s a needed distraction when her dreams become too overwhelming as they have of late of a tumultuous uncertain future. The hatred threatens to overwhelm her when she thinks of all she’ll never have because of Uther, at the same time she longs for the affections of the only other sorcerer she knows. The possibilities are all troubling.

She opened her door and whispered in the ear of the guard outside of it. She’d let him into her bed in an attempt to warm her heart, another beautiful man but only a momentary distraction.

* * *

The weeks that followed continued to be uneventful. Her duties at Court had increased with her new title, but she was still afforded the time for her studies. The King had placed Morgana to oversee matters of health in the kingdom. She would track illness in the city, and look for ways to keep the people healthy, which kept her busy in Gaius’s laboratory.

Morgana looked up from the spell book and frowned, “You’re shaking that too hard, Merlin, it’s going to…”

The sticky pink substance blew the lid from the tumbler and covered his shirt. Morgana broke out into laughter.

“Dammit,” he grumbled, trying to clean himself off, and shooting her a dirty look.

Morgana stifled her laughter and averted her eyes back to her book.

“Good thing Gaius isn’t here, he’d never let me hear the end of it,” he sighed, then looked at Morgana sharply, “And don’t you dare tell him!”

She feigned innocence. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” then couldn’t hold a straight face any longer.

“Dunno what takes pink goo out of a shirt,” he mumbled, as he stripped it off.

Morgana’s laughter tapered off again as she watched him use the shirt to clean the goo from the floor. He wasn’t particularly muscular, and far too pale, but Morgana found herself appreciating the view. She wondered what he’d do if she were to run her hands across his smooth chest, kissing a trail down his abdomen like a common tavern whore. Probably knock her back with a shot of magic and run away, she grinned to herself.

“Something else funny, Milady?” He looked up at her testily.

“You missed a spot,” she pointed, as he bent over again.

She stifled a laugh as he stood up and now had the substance on his bare chest.

“Oh, Merlin,” she smiled. “Let me help you.”

She picked up a rag and ran it across the spot on his chest. She looked up at him when she heard his breath hitch at the contact.

“Milady, I…”

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was only trying to help,” she said, handing him the rag.

“It’s not… discomfort…exactly…” he frowned, as he went to retrieve a new shirt.

She sighed. Of course. It was bad enough she was putting him in danger as she had coerced him into teaching her magic, but now she was treading across lines of propriety that could also endanger him if discovered.

“Merlin,” she began, as he returned, fully dressed. “I apologize for being so familiar. Being here with you, learning magic under your tutelage, I forget who we are forced to be to the rest of the world.”

He looked at her with a pained expression. “And if we didn’t have those roles to play for the rest of the world, who are we then?”

“Sorcerers. Friends. Equals,” she said, posing to him the possibilities. She looked up at him longingly. “What more could we be if we didn’t have to hide our true selves?”

“What would you want to be?” he asked. A dangerous question.

“Merlin, I want…” she said breathily.

They stepped away as they heard Gaius approaching the door.

It was for the best their conversation was interrupted, Morgana thought, as she quickly bid Merlin and Gaius good night.

What would she have told him in response to his question of what more she wants to be? His lover? What good comes with sharing the desires of her heart with Merlin? Either rejection from him, or possibly worse, reciprocation. They could never be together, or else she risks his life.

But isn’t she already risking his life just by being here? It’s been over a year, and her magic is well under control now. She still has prophetic dreams, but while they still cause her worry, they no longer terrify her, just interrupt her sleep. She hasn’t set anything on fire by accident or blew anything up she didn’t intend to do. Maybe it’s time they end their studies. Before she does something to hurt him.

The idea of not spending so much time with him hurts though. She can’t bring herself to make such a choice. Besides, she thought, someday her brother will need her to be a powerful sorceress and she still has much to learn.

She wondered if there’s a spell to make you forget the things you want but you can’t have. She extinguished her candle and slid between the satin sheets of her bed. She fell asleep easily.

_“They seem happy together,” Merlin smiled, looking ahead at the couple walking along the banks of the pond. _

_“They do. It’s the happiest I’ve seen Arthur in years,” Morgana said, dismounting her horse and tying her down at the tree. “It’s good to see him happy again.”_

_“What about you, Morgana? Are you happy?” he asked softly. _

_She smiled sadly. “It’s been harder than I expected.”_

_“I am so sorry,” he said sincerely. _

_“It’s okay. It’s much harder for Arthur. Nothing changes for me,” she said._

_“But it will. Arthur will be a great king. And we’ll bring magic back.”_

_“When can we tell him?” she asked, watching as the couple leaves their line of sight. _

_Merlin looked carefully to see if he can spot Arthur and Gwen through the trees. When he can’t, he pulls Morgana close to him and kisses her deeply. _

_“Once he’s finally decided to marry Gwen, he surely wouldn’t have me beheaded for loving his sister,” Merlin said, his hands in her raven locks. _

_"_ _Perhaps you overestimate Arthur’s good judgment,” Morgana teased, pulling up his shirt to touch his bare skin. “I’d hate for you to lose your head, I’m so very fond of it.”_

_Merlin kissed her again, pressing her against the tree, his growing erection rubbing against her thigh. _

_“Merlin,” she moaned. “It’s been far too long. I need you. Please.”_

_“We can’t, they’ll be back any minute. Come to me tonight, my love. Gaius will be out, we’ll have time,” he said, kissing her again. _

_“I love you,” she said in between kisses. _

_“And I love you. We’ll tell him soon, I promise. And we’ll wed immediately after they do.”_

_“I want that more than anything,” Morgana said, kissing him again._

Morgana woke up that morning with a little more clarity about where things were headed, as well as an aching need between her legs. No need to avoid this future, she thinks. She tries to remember the taste of him, the feel of him under her hands, but the sensations had too quickly slipped away and she was left unhappy with longing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Christmas interlude

Morgana looked longingly out her window as the fluffy snowflakes fell from the sky. The ground was coated in powdery snow, just in time for the Yuletide celebrations.

The harvest had been bountiful and Camelot would be able to feed its people, with every belly full throughout the winter. The King had proclaimed a feast to celebrate their good fortune, and the village families were invited to gather in the courtyard for singing and merriment that evening.

She smiled at the bittersweet memories of her first winter in Camelot. She had spent her nights crying herself to sleep when she’d first arrived, mourning the loss of everything she loved to instead grow up in an enormous castle of strangers. But by the arrival of Yule, Uther had arranged for a serving girl to be her companion, the daughter of a local blacksmith. Morgana would scarcely speak to her, despite the girl’s many attempts at conversation, but had grown accustomed to her company. The two of them were walking through the courtyard through the snow one afternoon following lessons, when she felt a snowball hit her skirts, followed by a gasp and a collective roar of boys’ laughter. She looked over her shoulder to find the king’s son red-faced while his companions laughed. Scrawny Prince Arthur had thrown a snowball at her.

She glowered at him, and walked towards him slowly. His companions stopped laughing, wide-eyed as they saw the fury on her face. 

“M-my lady, I apologize. I—I missed,” he stammered.

“You missed?” she said, with a dour expression of displeasure. She had a good three inches on him, and looked down her nose at him.

“Yes, of course. I’d been aiming at Kay, and I missed,” he explained.

“Ah. I see. That’s the difference between you and I, Arthur Pendragon,” she said, feeling the snow being placed in her hands behind her back by her companion. “I don’t miss.”

At that, she hit the prince square in the face with a snowball, which caused their companions to shriek and laugh with delight. The snowball fight that ensued left them all drenched and shivering by the time they returned inside to warm themselves by the fire. They were scolded by their governess, a stern woman who tolerated no disruption from her pupils, but she had the kitchen prepare them tea and brought them extra blankets, canceling the rest of the day’s lessons for fear the prince would catch cold. Arthur looked over at Morgana and grinned when the woman left. She returned his smile for the first time since her arrival at Camelot. He invited her to join him in the courtyard again the next day.

In the years that followed, as their duties changed, and snowball fights were replaced by court and feasts, she and Arthur grew apart. But here lately, she felt closer to Arthur than she ever had, even as children. She looked down into the courtyard and spied him speaking with the guards. She grinned suddenly, and grabbing her cloak and gloves, ran out of her room and down the stairs.

She stealthily crept behind a grain cart, and gathered up some snow. She looked around, and with a whisper, her magic formed a large, heavy snowball. She waited patiently for him to turn around, and finally, her moment came. She caught Merlin’s eye just before, and pressed a finger to her lips to silence him.

Just as she had during her first winter there, she hit the crown prince of Camelot square in the face with a snowball.

She squealed with laughter, as Arthur recovered from his shock and chased her across the courtyard. Despite her agility, dresses were not made for fleeing an attacker, and she was soon grabbed around the waist, lifted into the air, and flung backside first into a large mound of powdery snow.

“Arthur!” she heard Gwen shout sternly. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?”

“She started it!” he said, petulantly.

“Really, Arthur,” she huffed, her arms crossed as she motioned her head towards her lady, struggling to get back up.

“Fine. Perhaps it was a bit of an overreaction. Here, Morgana, let me help you,” he held out his hand to her.

Morgana grabbed his hand and put all of her force into pulling him forward at the same time. He fell face forward into the mound of snow, partly on top of her.

Merlin was laughing so hard, tears were freezing to his face.

Arthur sputtered, “Merlin! Come here and help me up!”

“Of course, Sire,” he stifled his laughter.

Arthur grabbed his extended hand, pulled him into the snow mound and slapped a handful of snow onto his face, and one onto Morgana’s. They immediately began to retaliate.

“Really, you three,” Gwen shook her head. “Some of us have work to do, while you lot play in snow.”

“Oh, Gwen,” Morgana sighed. “Do try to relax.”

The three of them immediately began to pelt Gwen with snowballs, until they were all four soaked, and exhausted from laughing so much.

Uther and Gaius watched them from the balcony.

“Oh to be young again,” Uther chuckled.

“I seem to recall a similar snowball fight when Morgana first came to Camelot,” Gaius smiled at the memory.

“As much as I mourned the loss of Gorlois, my heart was only complete when she arrived. I was glad she and Arthur immediately bonded.”

“They are still bonded. Elevating her status was wise, Sire.”

“Someday, when we’re both gone, Arthur will need her. He is strong, but she is shrewd.”

“You’ve raised two fine young people, and Camelot will have a bright future in their hands. That’s the best legacy a king can leave behind, the children he has raised.”

“They are, in fact, the very best of me,” he said, with a smile.

He watched as his son helped his daughter to her feet, and walked her inside with an arm around her shoulder, their servants following just behind them. He decided to forgo any further discussion with his council for the morning, and walked down to join his children by the fire in the hall.

The day would be one of Morgana’s happiest memories. Later, after the feast, she stood in the courtyard singing with Uther, Arthur, Merlin, Gwen, Gaius, and the people of Camelot, her people, and passed out sweets to the children. It was the first time since her father died that Morgana felt truly happy.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Morgana wished she knew how long she had to wait. It was becoming torture to spend so much time with Merlin and to act detached from him, as she had in the months since she’d nearly confessed her feelings to him. 

She had decided not to tell him about the dream that they were lovers. She didn’t want him to be with her simply because it was foretold. She wanted him to be with her because it was his choice. She often felt that loss of agency in her life, and she knew he did too. She wanted this one thing, at least, to be his choice. 

That’s when Freya showed up in a cage. 

Merlin came to her for help. A dress, he’d asked of her. Some extra food. He wouldn’t say why; didn’t want to put her in danger, he’d said. He’d made it seem like he was saying good-bye, as though he thought he’d die, whatever it was he was up to. 

That night a monster was slain. 

The next day, Merlin looked terrible. His eyes were puffy, and he just looked so forlorn. 

Gaius had sent word that her lessons would be canceled for the evening, as Merlin had fallen ill. She picked wildflowers and sent Gwen to deliver them to Merlin’s chambers.

In the days following, Merlin continued to look out of sorts, more distracted than usual, and withdrawn. Even once they resumed her lessons, she could tell something was off, but all he said was that everything was fine. 

Arthur of course knew nothing of the source of Merlin’s obvious pain, and even asked Morgana’s advice. 

“Perhaps a distraction would help change his mood. Obviously, it’s very personal, or else he would tell you. You’re his closest friend,” she said. 

“Am I, though? I know he’s very devoted to me, despite being a horrible servant, and he’s always been there when I’ve really needed him. But he never confides in me as a friend would. The friendship doesn’t seem to go both ways,” Arthur frowned. 

“In that case, perhaps you should make more of an effort with him. Go do something that would encourage your friendship,” Morgana suggested. “Take a day off from training and have some bonding time.” 

Arthur nodded thoughtfully. He had planned to give the knights a day of rest anyway, and decided as much as Merlin likes a tavern, he’d take him there. 

Morgana decided to take her own advice and be a better friend to Gwen. She organized a picnic for them to go on, and had Sir Leon escort them to the lakeside, since Arthur had canceled their training. 

Morgana spread the food out along the blanket, and made a plate for the knight, his squire and Gwen before serving herself. After lunch, she sent the men to go enjoy some time fishing while she and Gwen sat and talked. 

“This was a lovely idea, Morgana,” Gwen said, sipping her wine. 

“I wanted to show my appreciation for your friendship. I don’t ever want you to think I don’t value you for the person you are, or only value you for the services you provide for me. I like to think I’m your friend as much as you are mine,” Morgana said. 

“Of course,” Gwen said, smiling. “I couldn’t ask for a better friend. You’ve done so much for me.”

Morgana looked down into her wine cup thoughtfully. “I also don’t want you to think that just because you’re in service to me that I consider you lesser than me. I don’t. I know your worth, Guinevere. I hope you do, as well.”

“That’s very kind of you, but I do know my place, and it isn’t as your equal,” she smiled sadly. 

Morgana smiled knowingly. “No, perhaps your place won’t be as my equal. Should you wed my brother, you wouldn’t be my equal at all,” she said, smiling into her wine. 

Gwen laughed. “Are we on that again? Well, if I’m ever Queen, I won’t treat you as lesser, either.”

“I mean it though; you have my full blessing and support to be with Arthur. Someday, when he’s King, you’ll be his Queen, I’m certain of it.”

Gwen looked at her strangely. “Because you’ve dreamed it.”

Morgana raised her eyebrows in slight surprise, as Gwen continued. “And your dreams are prophetic.”

Morgana thought for a moment before she responded. “What if they were?”

“That would mean that, not only would I be the future Queen of Camelot, but that my future sister is…” she smiled, and grasped her hand before continuing, “a seer. A sorceress.”

“And if your future sister were indeed a sorceress, how would you feel about that?” she asked, the vulnerability in her voice apparent. 

“I would love her just the same,” Gwen smiled, reassuringly. 

Morgana’s eyes filled with tears.

“But also afraid for her, with Uther upon the throne,” Gwen frowned. “The fire in your chambers last year…”

Morgana nodded. “It was me; I couldn’t control it yet.”

“But you can control it now?” 

“Yes.”

“Gaius has helped you suppress your powers?” Gwen asked, not quite accurately. 

“In a way. It isn’t suppression, exactly, but more like acceptance. Being afraid of my powers meant I couldn’t control them. But learning to control them had to mean I understood them.”

“So, you’ve had to learn to use them,” Gwen guessed. 

Morgana raised her hand over the nearby patch of grass. From the grass grew a white lily. Gwen stared in awe. “Go on, take the flower.”

Gwen picked the flower and then before her eyes, it dissolved into a cluster of white butterflies and flew away.

“Beautiful,” she marveled. 

“You don’t think me terrifying?” Morgana asked. 

“Never, Morgana. I know your heart; you could never be anything but good and pure.”

She frowned. “That’s not true. There’s darkness in my heart. But I’ve seen what that can grow into, and I’ve made it my mission to never let it consume me. That’s why I had to forgive Uther for his transgressions, not for him, but for myself.”

Gwen nodded. “It would be so easy to hate him, after what he did to my father. What he’s done to me in the past, and especially for what he’s done to you. But he’s not worth the hatred.”

“Instead I try to focus on what Arthur will bring instead. Arthur is a better man than his father and will make a far better king.”

“And you’ve really dreamt that I’ll be his Queen?” she asked. 

“I’ve dreamt it. That doesn’t mean for certain it will come true. Futures can be altered. So, if it’s not what you want, it’s not a destiny you’re trapped within. You can make another choice.”

Gwen nodded thoughtfully. 

“But he loves you. I can see it. And someday he’ll be able to choose you. You’ll just have to wait for him.”

“What about you? What does your future hold?”

“I have an idea, but I don’t know for certain. It changes. Sometimes it’s dark, sometimes it’s light. I teeter upon the edge. There’s a darkness in me that I can’t deny, I just have to control it, and not succumb to it. Gwen, if ever I go dark, I want you to remember…”

“Morgana, you could never…”

“I want you to remember who I am now. Because this is real, this is who I am. And if I can’t deny my destiny, if I’m to become a threat to Camelot, to Arthur, to you, and if the greatest sorcerer to ever live, the one the Druids call Emrys, must kill me, I want this to be the memory you have of me. Your friend,” she said, as tears streamed down her face. 

“Oh Morgana,” Gwen said, pulling her close and wiping her tears. “If that happens, I’ll bring you back from the darkness. You’d do the same for me, you’d never give up on me, or Arthur. How could we ever give up on you? But I believe in you, I know how strong you are, and I know that whatever battle is waged inside of you, you will stay true to yourself. You are and always will be the Lady of Camelot.”

Morgana nodded and sniffed. She hadn’t been emotional in a long time about her powers and her destiny, but dark feelings had been swirling lately, and she sensed her sister would not leave Camelot alone for much longer. 

“I’m glad you finally told me. Have you told Arthur?”

Morgana shook her head. “I need to tell him in my own time. I don’t want to put him in the position of needing to cover for me to Uther. Uther can’t ever question his loyalty or suspect that he won’t uphold bans of magic when he becomes king. It could jeopardize the succession all together.”

Morgana smiled sadly. “Besides, I haven’t much opportunity to even use magic, and Gaius has taught me to be very cautious and secretive. I wouldn’t have told you if you hadn’t already figured it out.”

“I’ll never say a word, Morgana. Not even to Arthur,” Gwen promised. “What about Merlin?”

“What about him?”

“Does he know? He spends a lot of time with Gaius…”

“It’s best if no one discusses my powers, honestly. Safer for you, for Gaius, and for me. From here on out, we mustn’t speak of it. Until I reveal my magic to Arthur, you must forget we ever had this conversation, and that I have magic,” Morgan smiled. 

Gwen nodded. “Absolutely, I’ll never say a word more about it.”

Morgana pulled out a small container of powder and muttered an incantation as she blew the dust in Gwen’s direction. 

Gwen blinked a few times and smiled brightly. “This was a lovely idea, Morgana.” 

Morgana smiled sadly, knowing her secret was still safe, and someday Gwen would remember, but her confidant relationship with Gwen would have to wait a little bit longer. 

* * *

Morgana was sitting in her room reading a book on rare herbs when she heard a commotion in the courtyard. She looked out her window to watch as a drunken Arthur and drunken Merlin, singing songs and running into things, returned from the tavern. She smiled to herself, hoping the time together lifted their spirits. She was sad she needed to cast a memory spell on Gwen, but she didn’t want Gwen to be in danger with her knowledge, nor be on the path to discovering Merlin’s magic as well. She knew Gwen wouldn’t purposely betray her, but she couldn’t take the chance for any of their sakes that a conversation might be overheard or a slip of the tongue might occur. Or worse, an interrogation someday if she were to be suspected of having knowledge of sorcery. Better to keep her in the dark, and her memory of their special day would return once it was safe to do so. 

She had assumed her magic studies had been canceled that evening since Merlin was well into his cups, so she prepared for bed and sent Gwen home. She was just about to put out her candle when she heard a soft knock at her door.

“Merlin,” she greeted him with surprise. “Come in.” She quickly closed and latched the door behind him. 

“What’s the matter?” she asked, spying the anguish upon his face in the candlelight. When he didn’t answer, she drew him into her embrace. He shook with silent sobs.

She led them to her bed, where she directed him to lay down and laid down beside him.

“Milady, it’s not…”

“Proper, I know. The door is latched, we’ll hide you if anyone comes. Please, tell me what’s troubling you. It pains me to see you hurting.”

He wiped his face and sighed. “I lost someone I love.”

“Oh Merlin, I’m so sorry,” she said, placing a kiss on his brow and holding him close. “Please tell me your mother is well, that it isn’t her.”

“No, not my mother. Her name was Freya,” he said with a shaking voice. “I loved her.”

Morgana hadn’t been expecting his story. He’d been in love. The realization hurt considerably. He was going to run away with the girl, leave Camelot behind, leave her behind. Now the girl’s dead, the only reason he’s still here. 

She continued to offer him comfort, soothing words and touches, but something in her grew cold. He would have left her, and for some woman he had just met. 

He would have left you. He poisoned you. He stabbed you. He stabbed you, he stabbed you. He killed you. He never loved you. It was just a foolish dream, not your future, it was never real. 

The thoughts repeated in her head and she tried without success to push them out, as he continued his story of how he took the girl’s body and burned her, wearing Morgana’s dress. 

“Merlin, I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry,” Morgana offered. 

“I know. It just helps to be able to talk about it with a friend. Arthur was being very kind, wanted to cheer me up, took me to drink, wants me to confide in him, but obviously I can’t.”

A friend. A friend. He’s not your friend. He doesn’t love you. He will never love you. He stabbed you. He killed you. 

“No, certainly not,” she frowned. “You should make more of an effort in other ways though. Arthur realizes your friendship doesn’t go both ways, and that you don’t confide in him. That’s why he wanted to spend time with you today, to nurture your friendship. He cares a great deal for you, Merlin. He wants to be a good friend.”

“I will make more of an effort,” he said, with a sigh. 

At that, Morgana withdrew from the bed, unable to keep up pretenses for very much longer. She poured herself a cup of wine and drank deeply. 

“You should go now, Merlin, before the guards change shift,” she said, trying to keep her voice even.

“Oh, yes, of course,” he said, realizing how late it was. “I’ve kept you from your studies tonight and now I’ve kept you from your rest.”

He turned to face her and hugged her tightly. “Thank you, Morgana. I know you think you owe me some debt for helping you develop your magic, but the truth is, you’ve helped me far more.”

Her heart warmed slightly at the gesture, but she still heard the words in her head. He was going to leave you. He killed you.

“Get some rest, Merlin,” she said, closing the door behind him as he left. 

She would get no rest that night as she dreamt again of him plunging a sword into her stomach. After all she’s done to change her fate, she would still meet her end at his hands.

* * *

Gwen entered Gaius’s chambers with a knock. 

“Gwen dear, good morning,” he greeted, as he restocked his cabinet. 

“Gaius, I was wondering if I can speak with you,” she looked around, wringing her hands nervously.

“Of course, my dear.”

“I’m worried about Morgana. She’s not sleeping again.”

Gaius looked up in surprise. “I had noticed she’s been looking tired this week, I just assumed she was staying up late to study, she’s been working very hard. She hasn’t said anything to me. Is she having nightmares again?”

“Yes. And Gaius, this is just between us, but her nightmares are about Merlin,” she said with a whisper. 

“Oh?” he replied.

“She won’t give me details when I ask her, but she screams in her sleep like someone’s being murdered, and has screamed ‘Merlin, no!’ repeatedly, like he’s hurting her. I’m worried, Gaius.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing we can’t cure but thank you for telling me. I won’t betray your confidence to your lady.”

Gwen nodded and left. 

“Merlin, wake up you foolish boy, we need to talk,” he called, kicking Merlin’s door. When he was finally able to rouse him, he told him what Gwen had described. 

“But why wouldn’t she tell me?” Merlin frowned. 

“What’s changed recently to restart her visions?” Gaius asked. 

“I’m not sure,” Merlin said, worry lines developing across his forehead. 

“Have you spoken with Morgana much over the past few weeks? She hasn’t been here when you’ve been here.”

“Honestly, the last meaningful conversation I had with her was several weeks ago in her chambers, I…” he stopped and flushed. 

Gaius looked at him. “And what was the conversation about?”

“Freya,” he said, and told him what he told Morgana. 

“And how did she react?”

“She was comforting, sympathetic.”

“And since then you’ve not spoken to her?”

“Only in passing.”

“I suspect something about your encounter has restarted her nightmares, the ones where you kill her. What exactly could you have said that made that shift in your relationship?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I told her about my plans to leave Camelot and…”

Gaius rolled his eyes and sighed. “You told her you were leaving her for another woman? You idiot.”

“What? No. It’s not like that,” Merlin stammered, shocked. 

“You’re the only person she has, who is like her, who understands her plight, and you were going to leave her. Not to mention, I’ve seen the way the girl looks at you. She admires you greatly, and not just as a sorcerer, but as a man.”

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. “She has never said…”

“She wouldn’t, of course not,” Gaius said. “But that girl admires you nonetheless.”

“We’re friends,” Merlin shrugged. “We aren’t even supposed to be that if you ask Uther. And please don’t ask Uther.”

“Which is why she isn’t going to just tell you how she feels. She knows it puts you in more danger.”

“And now that I’ve told her I loved another and was going to leave Camelot to be with her, I’ve driven a wedge between us, that leaves her vulnerable to dark magic? That’s absurd,” he shook his head. 

“I think that might be exactly it,” Gaius said. “You’ve shaken her trust. Whatever events will eventually unfold, to prevent her darkness rising, she needs to trust you completely.”

Merlin sighed. “I’ll talk to her.”

Gaius frowned. “Are you sure you know how to make this better, not worse?”

Merlin pouted. “Probably.”

Gaius sighed. 

* * *

She could hear her sister’s voice in her head, continuously telling her she couldn’t trust them, as she sat in Court at Uther’s side. She looked over at Arthur who seemed positively bored at the matter at hand, a conflict between two fruit vendors. Finally, Uther assigned damages to one of the vendors and dismissed them. 

She excused herself then went to change her gown into something more practical to work in Gaius’s lab. 

When she arrived, however, Gaius was not there, but only Merlin. 

“Gaius has to travel today to see a patient, and said he needed for us to pick up this list of supplies and administer medicine to this list of patients. Gwen will be attending to Arthur today,” Merlin said.

“Very well. Shall we divide the tasks then?” she asked. 

“I… thought we might just work through them together. I don’t need to be back to assist Arthur until nightfall,” Merlin offered. 

Morgana frowned and took the list from him. “I suppose, if you wish. We can pick up the supplies as we work our way through the patient list, get this done as quickly as possible. The only one we’ll need to leave on horseback to find is the elderflower, so let’s begin with the Bakers.”

Merlin sighed. “Okay, what’s going on you’re not telling me?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you mean,” she replied. He noticed she looked exhausted. 

“You aren’t sleeping. I can tell. Please. Tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing, let’s just get through the day,” Morgana said, walking past him and out of the door. 

He didn’t press her further the rest of the day. They brought Gaius’s medicine to his patients, looked in on a few follow-ups, and gathered the ingredients he needed in town. 

They wordlessly got on their horses to take a ride out to pick some elderflower in the nearby fields. 

Once they dismounted, Merlin tried again.

“Morgana, have I hurt you in some way?” he asked gently. 

“No, not yet,” she answered curtly. 

“So, you are still having those dreams? Where I kill you?” He asked, looking pained. 

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. 

“Oh, Morgana,” he sighed, running a hand over his face. “No wonder you can barely stand the sight of me as of late.”

Her tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’m just… so alone.”

“You aren’t. I promise you aren’t. We’ll figure this out,” he said, holding her wrist. 

Of course, you aren’t alone, Sister, a voice said in her head. You always have me.

“No,” she said, wide-eyed, looking around frantically. 

“Morgana, I promise, I won’t give up…” Merlin said, looking at her with concern. 

The boy is a liar, and he’ll see you dead, for Arthur to take what is yours, the voice said again. 

“No! Stop it!” she said, clutching her head and collapsing on the ground. “Get out of my head! Leave me alone!”

“Morgana?” Merlin asked. He was beginning to think she didn’t mean him. “Morgana, what’s the matter?”

Morgana didn’t answer but merely clutched her head and sobbed. He sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms as she cried. 

“I’m sorry,” he said into her hair, shushing her. “I didn’t know you were hurting. I never wanted to hurt you. Never.”

Her crying subsided but she was still shaking. 

“I hear Morgause in my head. Telling me terrible things. About you, Arthur, Uther. Things I don’t want to act on. But I feel the strength of her pull. I’m afraid, Merlin. I don’t want the future I dreamt.”

“You don’t have to be afraid,” he said, cupping the side of her face with his hand. “I won’t let her hurt you, and I won’t let her control you.”

“I don’t know that you’ll have a choice. Nor will I,” she said. “Maybe I should leave, run far from Camelot. Ask Uther to find me a match in some far away land, where I’ll never hurt anyone, and you can never hurt me again.”

“Again?” he asked. 

She just shook her head. “Never mind.”

“I did hurt you, didn’t I? When I told you I planned to leave Camelot with Freya?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “You’re all I have, and you were going to leave without even a word. And that hurts more than you can imagine.”

He looked ashamed. “I’m sorry. It was impulsive and thoughtless. I didn’t think of you, or Gaius, or even the fate of Camelot, only of my own desires.”

“You loved her. I understand,” she said softly. “And you trusted me enough to share that with me, for which I am grateful.”

“But that’s when the dreams started back again, isn’t it?” he said. 

“Soon after, yes,” she said. “And my sister’s voice in my head.”

“Then the solution is I need to earn your forgiveness, and your trust that I will never leave you behind.”

She nodded and wiped the tears from her face. Even with her face splotchy from crying, she was still beautiful. “I’m sorry for all of this. You’re grieving, you don’t need this additional burden.”

“You aren’t a burden, Morgana. You’re my friend,” he said, holding her hands in his. “I’m not going to let those dreams come to be, and I won’t let your sister do you harm.”

She nodded, looking down at their intertwined hands. 

“We need to find a way to keep Morgause from invading your mind,” Merlin said, brow crinkled in thought. “But we’ll need Gaius’s help.”

“Speaking of Gaius, he needs us to complete his list,” she said, reluctantly withdrawing her hands from his. “We should return before we are missed.”

“We’re okay though? You’re okay?” Merlin asked. 

He’ll kill you, the voice said. 

She took a breath and smiled weakly. “I’ll be okay.”

* * *

“It takes a very powerful sorceress to project thoughts from such a distance,” Gaius frowned. 

“Or maybe she’s closer than we realize,” Merlin suggested.

“Morgana, have you tried to communicate back with her?” Gaius asked. 

“No, I… don’t know how,” she said. “How does it work?” 

“It’s not difficult, but for an adult, it’s an art of disciplining your mind. Children with magic are able to do it from a very young age, before they can even speak words, to communicate their needs to their mothers. But because you’re learning the skill later, it will take some practice. I need to go see the king. But Merlin will help you practice while he’s cleaning the leach tank.”

Merlin groaned. 

“I’m not cleaning the leaches,” he grumbled, as Gaius closed the door.

Why… magic… she tried.

“Close, keep trying,” Merlin nodded.

Why… not… magic…

“Why not use magic on the leaches, you mean?” 

She nodded.

“I wasn’t quite as in control of my magic the last time and may have accidentally blown them up. Gaius gets quite grumpy about it, won’t let me use magic on it again.”

May… I… try…

“Well, he never banned you from cleaning the leach tank with magic,” Merlin grinned. 

She smiled back, then closed her eyes. She opened her eyes, now golden, and gently raised her hand over the tank. The mucky tank was suddenly perfectly clear.

Great job, he said.

Thank… you… 

She smiled, relieved. Maybe they could still change her future after all.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin and Morgana practiced speaking telepathically every night, from their own chambers. They started with simple mundane conversations until Morgana could sustain longer and more complex conversations. That’s how they began talking for hours on end throughout the day, and well into the night after their usual magic practice. That’s also how they began trying to cause trouble for one another.

It started during court. Morgana was positively bored but had steeled her expression to one of dispassionate attentiveness. Two farmers were in a dispute over a cow impregnated by the other farmer’s bull, and Arthur was drifting off. 

_Look at Prince Prat, he’s about to start snoring. He shouldn’t have eaten the second helping of breakfast this morning. Or the third._

Morgana glanced at Arthur, whose head was resting on his left hand, elbow propped up on the armrest of the chair.

_Or any other morning. You know I had to put another notch in his belt today? He’s going to be as fat as this man’s troubled cow…_

Morgana had to fake a sneeze to cover the smile she couldn’t stifle.

“Bless you, Milady,” the boring farmer said, then continued to drone on about the cow. 

_We can settle this now, just cook the cow for Prince Prat’s supper, you know that’s what he’s dreaming about over there anyway…_

She nodded demurely to the farmer and held her handkerchief to her face to stifle her laughter.

_Merlin, you’re positively wicked. You’re going to get me in trouble._

She looked at him, leaning against the back wall and he grinned at her, before slipping out the doors.

* * *

Later, she watched him from the tower as he was in the practice yard with Arthur and the other knights. Arthur handed Merlin a shield, so he could block the blows as Arthur struck at him with a wooden practice sword.

_Merlin! Behind you! _she pushed into his mind.

Merlin spun around in alarm just as Arthur whacked him with the wooden sword from behind, knocking him to the ground with a grunt.

“Pay attention, would you, Merlin? You’re going to hurt yourself,” Arthur rolled his eyes at the lump of his manservant face down in the grass, as the knights laughed.

_That was for earlier at court, _she noted with a smirk.

_Duly noted, Milady. _He groaned on the ground.

She laughed mischievously to herself as she walked back to her chambers. Until she heard another voice in her head.

_Sister… it’s time for you to join me, learn who you truly are._

Morgana frowned. _I already know who I am. Morgana Pendragon. _

_You are a high priestess of the old religion. What little self-study you’re doing will not suffice for the war ahead. _

_What war? I intend to prevent war, not wage it. My brother will return magic to Camelot when he is king._

_He has no right to sit upon the throne of Camelot. The crown shall be yours, Sister._

_I will not seek to rob Arthur of his birthright, nor Camelot of its rightful king. Instead, I will stay by his side as his princess, and eventually, as his sorceress._

_You are naïve, child. You will see Arthur Pendragon is no different from his retched father. Would you see your blood burned at the stake?_

_Arthur will not harm you, Sister. He has made a vow to me that you will be protected. He is not your enemy. _

_And what of our blood? Those with magic? Has he vowed to protect them as well?_

_He will, in due course. I am sure of it. _

_We shall see, Sister. We shall see what sort of king Arthur Pendragon will be._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

“I didn’t think you would come,” Morgause said, pulling back her cloak, her blonde hair tied back into a long braid.

“I gave you my word, Sister,” Morgana said, dismounting her horse carefully in the dark, and letting the filly drink from the stream. 

Morgause did the same, and then moved to embrace her. Morgana knew she should be apprehensive about her, but she couldn’t help but have a great deal of affection for her. Perhaps it was their blood bond, or perhaps it was the Morgause of her dreams, the one that saved her life after Merlin poisoned her, the one who taught her magic when Merlin wouldn’t even so much as reveal his to her. Either way, despite her fear, she still loved her sister.

“I brought you something. I didn’t get the chance to give it to you before,” Morgause said, pulling up her sleeve and removing an ornate piece of jewelry. “This was our mother’s. It bears the mark of our father’s House. I know she would want you to have it.”

“It’s beautiful,” Morgana smiled, fondly remembering a time in her dreams when Morgause gave her the bracelet. “I think it’s also a healing bracelet, is it not?”

“You are very perceptive, Sister,” she smiled. 

“Thank you for this,” she said, putting it on her wrist. 

“Tell me, Sister. What news of Camelot?” Morgause smiled. 

Morgana’s smile waned. “Things are stable. But there is talk of future raids on Druid villages. I need your help to prevent it.”

“You would betray your king? I thought you were remaining loyal to Camelot?” Morgause mused. 

“I remain loyal to what is just. And massacring people just for having magic is not justice.”

Morgause nodded. “With Cenred’s help, we can intercept Camelot soldiers and…”

“No. I just need you to take the Druids to safety. Get warnings out to them.”

“And how are you going to get that information in the first place? Don’t tell me Uther lets a woman in on his plans for military skirmishes.”

“No, but he lets his son,” Morgana said firmly. 

“And you can get this information from the gullible prince,” Morgause said, impressed. 

“Yes,” Morgana answered confidently. 

“Well, by all means then, tell me how we can help the Druids.”

* * *

“I let her think I was stealing the information from you,” Morgana said, removing her cloak, and hanging it on the hook in her room. 

Arthur frowned. “If you’re caught though…”

“Then you won’t be implicated. You’ll merely look careless. Then only one of us ends up in the dungeon,” she said, sitting down at the vanity and removing her jewelry. 

“I still don’t like it. Her involvement is risky,” Arthur said, sitting on her bed. 

“We’ve no other way of getting word out safely about the raids. If there was another way of protecting the Druids, kids like Mordred, just trying to exist, I would do it, but this is the safest way. They’ll listen to Morgause.”

Arthur sighed. “Eventually Uther is going to realize the Druids are being tipped off.”

“And he may drive himself mad looking for the spy, but he’ll never suspect us,” she said. “There’s something else you should know. Morgause has an alliance with Cenred. Tread carefully when raiding the Druid village, it could be an ambush.”

He groaned. “Great, that’s all we need.”

“Arthur, I know this is risky, but thank you. This means everything to me, to protect the innocent,” she said, moving to sit next to him on the bed.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I have a lot to make up for.”

She grabbed his hands in hers. “And you are, I’m certain of it. Now that you know magic isn’t the evil our father has always told you it is, you’ve chosen to do what is right and just for Camelot.”

“All the people before that though,” he frowned. “Can I ever make up for that?”

“You can’t undo it, but you can build a better future. You’re Camelot’s protector,” she said, with pride in her voice. “The Once and Future King of Camelot.”

He looked at her quizzically and smiled. She knows he would never quite understand her faith in him. “Thank you,” he said, raising her hands to his lips before departing. 

* * *

Uther had ordered raids on the Druid villages, only to find the villages empty upon arrival. The first time it happened, he allowed himself to believe it was just misfortune, but the second time was certainly espionage. 

“I need to know who tipped them off!” he fumed at the council meeting. 

“Father, I believe they must be watching for troop movements,” Arthur said, trying to soothe his suspicions. 

“Nonsense, they must have a spy here. They must know we’re coming even before we leave Camelot.”

“Perhaps they are watching using magic, Sire,” Gaius suggested. “A powerful sorcerer among them would be able to do so.”

Uther paled. “Could they be watching us now?” 

Gaius sighed. “Unfortunately, Sire, they could.”

Uther slammed his fist on the arm of the throne and shouted, red-faced. “I won’t tolerate it. I want this sorcerer found, and I want all of the Druids executed. They are a threat to Camelot!” 

Arthur wasn’t sure this was any better than believing there was a spy in the court, but at least it would take the suspicions off of Morgana and him. 

“Nonsense,” Morgana told him later. “It’s the perfect cover. Now we can worry less about what information is being provided. If any Druids are captured and interrogated, it will reinforce what Uther believes, that Morgause is watching him.” 

“This may drive him mad,” Arthur sighed. 

“Then we will help him. Maybe he’ll realize at some point that this is a losing battle, and stop targeting the Druids,” she said. “We might be able to end this persecution of magic-users once and for all.”

* * *

As the months went on, Uther did become more and more agitated as each raid was thwarted by a sorcerer spying upon him. He was becoming paranoid, now only willing to write down his orders in hopes the sorcerer couldn’t read it. But each time, he was met with disappointment. Not a single Druid was captured. 

He began to act erratically, paranoid, and stopped eating and sleeping. 

“Father, you must get some rest,” Morgana soothed him. “Camelot needs you at your best.”

“No no, no time to sleep, I must think, I must plan…” he paced around his chambers, looking manic. 

“Perhaps Gaius could give you a sleeping draught? A good night’s sleep would do wonders.”

“Certainly not. I need to be awake when the sorcerers come…,” he said, wide-eyed, looking out the window. 

“Father, no sorcerers are coming. They’re only protecting the Druids. Leave the Druids alone and surely the sorcerers will leave us alone,” she said. “Then everyone will be healthy and safe.” If only she had a good mind control spell she could use to fix this problem. 

“The Druids must be destroyed…,” he ranted, as though she wasn’t even there. 

“Uther!” she said, sharply. “You must pull yourself together. You are the King, and you are acting like a raving lunatic. Arthur’s birthday banquet is in a fortnight, and we cannot have you acting like a madman.”

He looked at her strangely, as though he were not quite recognizing her. 

She sighed. She was going to need to find a way to heal his mind.


	11. Chapter 11

“Gaius, there has to be something, anything that will work,” Morgana said, flipping through one of Gaius’s books.

“I’m running out of ideas, my dear. What ails the King isn’t physical, it’s mental. I haven’t a medicine for that, I’m afraid,” he said, carefully measuring a white powder into his cauldron, and adding it slowly into the mixture.

“Wait, I think I have it,” she said, stopping on a page in the spell book. “At least temporarily. A spell to forget. Maybe, just maybe, if we can make him forget about magic, it will let his mind heal.”

“Or, it damages his already-fragile mind further,” Gaius said, continuing to stir the elixir.

“Is there a choice? We must do something,” Morgana said, distressed. “His paranoia is getting worse, and taking a toll upon his physical health. I’m worried about him, but also, worried about the larger implications. If this kills him, Arthur will blame magic-users, and blame himself. We will have another generation of fear and violence, and a division in Camelot that can never be healed.”

Gaius sighed, as he lowered the heat and let the pot simmer. He finally sat down at the table across from her, and gently closed the book she was reading. “Morgana, I know you’re worried, and I am too, but consider exactly what it is you want to take from him.”

“I don’t understand,” she frowned.

“Remember your ethics lessons. About medicine. Uther would not wish for magic to save his life, and certainly not for it to overtake his mind.”

“The Hippocratic Corpus gives us no obligation for veracity,” she said, heatedly.

“And yet it says, ‘First, do no harm,’” Gaius said, gently. “It is magic itself that is hurting his mind.”

“It isn’t magic, but his torment by the mere existence of magic,” she replied bitterly.

“Nonetheless, Uther has long made his wishes known about the use of magic to heal him. He knows I possess the knowledge to accomplish such things outside of traditional medicine, but he has forbidden me to do so, even to save his life.”

“But he hasn’t forbidden me,” Morgana said petulantly.

Gaius looked at her with pity. “There is little else a man has that is more important than his own right of self-determination.”

She sighed. “A woman too.”

“We’ll find another way,” he said, squeezing her hands.

She nodded and went back to work, searching through the books all evening until she was too tired to read any more.

* * *

It was in the middle of the night that the answer finally came to her. She sat up in her bed, excited. It was something she had read months ago, when reading about Eastern medicine. She commanded the candles to illuminate then searched the stack of books that were beside her desk until she found the one. There was an elixir called Soma, made from a native plant that worked to calm the mind. She knew of a trader to the south who could secure her the ingredients, but they needed to leave immediately.

She quickly dressed in riding clothes, and called to Merlin. Groggily, he responded, and they met at Gwen’s, rousing her from slumber as well. Gwen agreed to cover for both of them and attend Arthur while they met with the traders, as well as lend Morgana a less-formal dress and cape so she could better blend in and not raise suspicions.

“I haven’t even had a full night in my own bed,” Merlin complained, as they rode south to Howden.

“There’s a feather bed waiting for us at an inn in Howden. We can sleep until the traders arrive.”

“It’s not the same as my own bed though, is it?” Merlin yawned. “Uther’s had us chasing shadows for so long, I can’t remember the last time I slept in my own bed.”

“If we’re successful, I hope that will come to an end soon,” Morgana said, bringing her horse to a trot. _It will either end with Uther’s mind healed, or with his death_, she thought grimly.

The ride was long and exhausting, but they managed to make it to Howden in record time, arriving at the inn just as breakfast was served. They dismounted their horses, leaving them with the stable boy to feed and water. Morgana handed Merlin a coin purse, and linked her arm into his.

“You’d better do the talking, lest we draw attention to ourselves, _Husband_,” she emphasized, with a grin. Merlin paled as he held the door open for her. They were greeted by the innkeeper, a stern, middle-aged woman, tending to the fire.

“Yes, madam, my wife and I would like two rooms, please,” he said, handing over the coins, as she walked them to the counter.

“Two rooms?” the woman looked at him strangely.

Merlin stammered, “Uh, I mean…”

“He means one room,” Morgana smiled demurely. “We’re newly wed, madam, he’s not used to the idea yet.”

The woman laughed. “Well, you two enjoy gettin ta know each other better then. I’ll give ye the best room in the house.”

“Thank you,” Morgana blushed. “Could we also be told when the trading caravan arrives? My husband has business with one of the traders.”

“Of course. Breakfast is just being served now, and your room is the third one on the right upstairs,” the woman said, pointing out the staircase.

Famished, they quickly ate in the nearly-empty dining hall, and made their way upstairs. The room was nice enough, better than some of the hovels Merlin had been to before, but he knew it was hardly up to the standards of a princess.

“If you don’t need anything further, Milady, I’ll just take a quick kip on the floor,” Merlin said, unpacking his knapsack.

“Nonsense, Merlin, I promised you a featherbed,” she said, washing her face in the bowl left on the vanity.

“Don’t you want to rest as well?” he asked, puzzled.

“Of course, but there’s no reason we can’t share the bed,” she said, patting her face dry.

Merlin paled.  
  
“Arthur will never know,” she whispered conspiratorially, as she undressed down to her shift. “We’re adults, Merlin. Now, do remove your trousers, you’ll soil the sheets.”

He groaned, and did as she asked, climbing into the bed beside her, keeping his back to her and keeping to as close to the edge as possible. She smiled at his discomfort as she settled in for a nap.

* * *

When Morgana awoke it was well into the afternoon, and the room was quite cool as the sun was on the other side of the building. Morgana found herself curled up against Merlin, her raven locks having come loose and sprayed across his chest. He had one arm draped across her, and she sighed happily at their closeness.

He’d needed the rest, they both had. He had been off for weeks with Arthur, and she had been doing nothing but research to find a cure for Uther. She looked up at him. He was in such a deep sleep, or else he would be mortified to be in such a position, one that she desperately desired. She pressed herself into him further, nuzzling his bare chest, taking in his earthy scent. _Heavenly_, his mind spoke to her, unintentionally, she expects, as his left hand stroked her back and finally landed on her bottom. She stifled a laugh and traced the lines of his chest and abdomen with her right hand. Merlin groaned softly, sending heat coursing through her body. From the feel of his growing erection pressed into her thigh, she wasn’t the only one affected by their closeness. This was a dangerous game she was playing, she knew. What would he do if she licked a trail down his chest, down to his manhood, and took him into her mouth? The very thought of it was making her breath heavy and her heart race. She had waited so long for him…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock at the door. “The caravan has been spotted atop the hill, it will arrive on the hour,” the innkeeper said through the door.

Merlin’s eyes shot open and he fell backwards out of the bed, taking the covers with him. Morgana sat up in the bed, and shouted, “Thank you!” to the innkeeper.

“Everything okay, Merlin?” she asked, innocently.

Merlin was bright red, and trying to untangle himself from the covers. “Fine, perfectly fine.”

She smiled demurely, swallowing down her frustration.

They quickly dressed and headed out to meet the caravan. She had warned Merlin that the trader was a little jumpy, so they needed to play it cool. Merlin decided to leave the negotiating to Morgana, and instead walked through the pop-up market.

“A piece of jewelry for your lady love, Milord?” a peasant woman asked him, gesturing at the rings.

He stared a moment at the gold bands, and remembered the weight of Morgana in his arms when he awoke, the feeling of her soft hands on him. He shook the thoughts from his head. Hadn’t Arthur already made it clear Morgana was out of his league? Arthur might be in love with Gwen, but he certainly wouldn’t tolerate Merlin’s feelings for his sister.

“No, thank you,” he said, moving on with a sigh. As he had many times before, he pushed his feelings away, and concentrated on the task at hand, his duty to Camelot.

Morgana found him in the marketplace, admiring some dragon carvings.

“That one looks like Kilgharrah,” she grinned. She gestured toward the carving, and told the vendor. “We’ll take it.”

“Did you get what you need?” he asked, as she slipped her arm into his.

“I did,” she smiled. “Now, let’s head home. _Husband_.”

_If only_, they both thought.

* * *

When they returned home, Merlin was informed that Arthur was being sent away again and would leave at first light. He groaned, dreading another several weeks of sleeping on the ground.

Meanwhile, Morgana and Gaius got to work on the elixir. She was able to purchase all of the ingredients, as well as some very specific instructions from the vendor on its use that her book had not explained. She felt confident that this was exactly what Uther needed.

Three weeks went by and the King was much calmer, sleeping and eating again, and nary a word about sorcerers, Druids, or magic. Morgana breathed a sigh of relief. Fortunately, Arthur had been away for most of his father’s illness and wasn’t there to see the extent of it. She feared what would happen if Arthur found out how truly ill he had become.

Arthur returned just in time for his birthday banquet, a splendid affair, and it was good to see Uther back to his normal self.

“He seems to have forgotten all about the Druids and the sorcerer,” Arthur frowned, trying to puzzle it out.

“Gaius and I made him a sleeping draught, made from some very rare herbs from the East that help soothe the mind. I think he’s finally feeling well-rested and that’s helping cure his mind of his paranoia about magic,” Morgana explained.

“Well, you’ve done wonders. The king is in good health, we can leave the Druids alone, and I’m home in time to celebrate another birthday with my family,” he smiled, raising his cup to hers.

She smiled at him brightly. She couldn’t argue with the result.

“Morgana, my dear, would you do your father the honor of a dance?” Uther said, rising from his chair.

“Of course, My Lord,” she said, putting down her cup and squeezing Arthur’s shoulder before taking Uther’s hand.

“I wanted to thank you, my dear,” Uther said, as they moved on the dance floor to the music. “I have not been myself lately, and you nursed me back to health. I believe you’ve saved my life twice now, once from an assassin and once from illness. I am grateful for your skill with a blade and your skill with healing.”

She swallowed down her guilt that she had caused both threats to his life in the first place, and smiled broadly. “It was only thanks to the education you afforded me. You were wise to allow me to train, despite being a girl. It was you who taught me I could be more than just a Lord’s wife. That I could have skill and power in my own right.”

“And so you do. It brings my heart gladness to know that when I leave this world, I leave my kingdom in the best possible hands, with my son as King and my daughter as his princess and advisor.”

Morgana beamed with pride. She would also be Arthur’s champion, his sorceress, but neither Uther nor Arthur knew this. Uther probably never would know her true nature, but she hoped she could reveal herself to Arthur someday.

As the dancing died down, the feast began, as well as an elaborate performance, led by a circus performer.


	12. Chapter 12

The sound of screaming woke Morgana with a start and, at first, she thought she was having another nightmare. She soon realized it was Uther.

When she opened her door, there was no one there. No guards… why were there no guards? 

She grabbed her sword and ran down the hall to Uther’s chambers. But it was empty. She heard the yelling again. Arthur?

Still seeing no guards, she ran barefoot to Arthur’s chambers. The door was latched. She heard yelling and clashing of swords on the other side. “Arthur?!” she called, banging on the door. “Uther?!” 

“Morgana! Get help!” Uther called to her. 

It didn’t sound like there was time for that. She cast the door open with magic and readied her sword. But she was a moment too late. She saw the villain plunge his sword into Uther’s chest as she cried out.

“Father! No!” she sobbed. Enraged, her eyes turned golden and she broke the assassin’s neck with a flick of her wrist. Her eyes met her brother’s just before he and their father both collapsed on the floor. 

Merlin! she called to him with her mind. Merlin help! Arthur’s chambers! Bring Gaius! The King is wounded!

She ran to Arthur, who was closest to her, but could find no wound. He was breathing and his heartbeat was strong. He could wait. She left him where he laid and put pressure on Uther’s wound. 

It wasn’t good; he was losing too much blood. She muttered a few words and cauterized the wound, but she knew it was only a temporary solution. This was far beyond her skill and she needed Gaius.

“Morgana!” Merlin cried out, seeing her in a heap on the floor covered in blood. 

“Thank heavens, you heard me. Uther’s been stabbed. That knife thrower from the banquet. I stopped the bleeding, but I think there’s something wrong internally, his chest doesn’t look good…”

“Here, child, let me see,” Gaius said, entering the room, winded. 

Merlin helped them lift Uther onto Arthur’s bed, and then tended to Arthur. 

“What’s wrong with Arthur?” Merlin asked, slapping him. 

“I think he’s been drugged,” Morgana answered. “He collapsed, but he has no wounds. His heartbeat is strong, his color is good, and he breathes well.”

Gaius nodded. “He’ll need to sleep it off. Morgana, can you reopen the wound, just for a moment? I need to examine…”

Not needed, Merlin stepped over the knife-thrower’s body with a shudder and went to find out where the guards were so they could sound the bells. The King was dying. 

* * *

“Morgana, I need to speak to you privately,” Arthur said, grabbing her wrist as she was about to leave Uther’s bedside. Or Arthur’s bedside. They hadn’t moved the ailing king very far.

“Of course. Let’s go to my chambers,” she said. 

“Gaius, if there are any changes…,” Arthur said.

“I’ll notify you immediately, Sire,” he said. 

Once they entered Morgana’s chambers, Arthur closed the door and latched it.

“I owe you my life. You saved my life, and you may have saved our father’s,” he said. 

“Oh, Arthur. I only wish I had been moments sooner. I’d gone to Uther’s chambers first,” she frowned. 

“Morgana, I saw,” he said, quietly.

“I know, it was a horrible thing to see,” she said, grabbing his hands. 

“No, I mean I saw you. You killed that man. Without your sword,” he emphasized. 

“He fell,” she said, keeping her expression even despite her heart racing.

“You killed him with magic,” he said, firmly. 

She frowned. “That’s absurd, Arthur. You were drugged, you just watched your father be stabbed. It’s perfectly understandable that you would…”

“Morgana, I don’t care that you have magic. I’m grateful,” he said, his voice still unsure. 

She laughed bitterly. “You would never be grateful for magic. No more than Uther would be. If he thought I used magic, even to save his life, he’d have me burned.”

He shook his head. “He wouldn’t, not you. And I wouldn’t. You’re my sister. I love you, Morgana. And I’m grateful for you, and your power.”

She looked up at him with surprise. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

It was his turn to look surprised. “You don’t think I love you? Or that my love isn’t unconditional?”

She looked down at her hands, fidgeting nervously. “I… I just thought you wouldn’t love me if you believed me to be a monster.”

“How could I ever think you’re a monster? You are probably the best person I know. The bravest, most loyal. Everything a princess should be.”

“Princess,” she laughed bitterly. “A gold tiara can’t withstand the flames any more than a Princess can.”

“You are the Princess of Camelot. And I will protect you, from Uther, from the rest of the world. Just as you’ve protected me. I give you my word, you will never be harmed for possessing magic. Your secret is safe with me. I love you,” he said, his voice breaking.

Tears spilled from her eyes and a sob escaped from her chest. She threw herself into his arms. “I love you too, Arthur. So much. You’ve no idea how lost and afraid I’ve been since I realized I have magic, and what your love means to me.”

He held her while they both cried, tears of love, tears of sorrow.

After a few minutes, she pulled away. “What about everyone else?”

He looked confused.

“Others who possess magic. The Druids. Other sorcerers. When you’re King, will you continue their persecution and protect only me? Or will you extend your mercy to my people? They’re your people too.”

He frowned. He knew he didn’t want to hunt them down and kill them, as they had agreed to subvert Uther’s commands on that already, but clearly he hadn’t considered the implications, shuddering at the thought of a Camelot overrun with sorcerers practicing freely. “Honestly, I don’t know. Will you help me? When I rule? There will be a lot to figure out. And if Father dies now…” he choked on his words. 

She held him again as he cried, and said into his ear, “I will never leave your side, I promise. I will spend the rest of my days in Camelot, in your Court, as your Princess. I believe in you, Arthur. That you will be good and just, and the best King Camelot could ever hope for.”

They held each other the rest of the night in her bed, as she told him as much of her story of magic as she could without implicating other sorcerers, particularly Merlin. But it was a relief nonetheless to be able to finally confide in her brother. She just wished it didn’t take a deadly attack on their father to get there. 

* * *

In the morning, Gaius told them the prognosis: The King would die. 

“Can’t you do something? Anything?” Arthur asked desperately. 

Gaius shook his head. 

“What about magic?” he blurted out. 

“He knows. About my magic,” Morgana said, as Gaius and Merlin looked at her with surprise. 

“The healing spell it would take is beyond even Morgana’s skill, even with her medical training,” Gaius answered, sadly. 

“Is there no one else? A more advanced sorcerer?” Arthur pressed.

“Arthur,” she said, gently. “Even if I could heal him with magic, or even if another sorcerer could, do you think Uther would want that?”

“I don’t care what he wants. I just want him to live!”

“I know, Arthur, as do I, but it isn’t that simple. It’s his choice. We can’t take away his autonomy, it would be a great wrongdoing, the exact reason why he despises magic. He doesn’t want this.”

“That’s very wise, Milady,” Gaius said. 

“We need to let him go, Arthur. Let him go the way he would want to,” she sighed, her heart breaking seeing the despair on her brother’s face, and feeling her own despair.

“I know. You’re right. It’s just… I don’t know how to do this without him,” Arthur answered, his voice cracking.

“You won’t have to. Uther will be with you in all you do. And I will always be at your side, like I promised.”

Arthur grabbed her hand as they knelt at Uther’s side. She stayed with them both until Uther took his final breath. Her last words to Uther were, “I love you. And I forgive you, Father. I hope you’ll forgive me as well.”


	13. Chapter 13

“I need to know you weren’t responsible,” Morgana said, her dark green hood covering her dark curls and the dark circles beneath her eyes. “Please, Sister, I couldn’t bear it.” 

“Don’t tell me you actually cared for him? The killer of our people? You could mourn the man who killed your own father?” Morgause said with disgust, repelling the rain from her blond locks with a wave of her hand.

“Uther was also my father. He was flawed, he did terrible things, but I loved him anyway. Please, tell me you didn’t do this,” Morgana begged, shivering in the cold, her cloak soaked through.

“Be still, Sister. Regretfully, Uther’s death was not by my order. I have respected your wishes and stayed away for the time being, upon your promise that you will bring Camelot under our control. However, I am becoming impatient. With Uther out of the way, this is your opportunity to rule. Cenred will provide you with an army. We can force Arthur to give you the throne.”

“No, that’s not what I want. I want Arthur to ascend. He will be a good and just King, and give us what we want, I know he will,” she said, her exhaustion apparent in her voice. “Please, just give me time before you do anything drastic, okay?”

Her sister stood for a moment staring at her, weighing the options before her carefully. “I will not be patient for long, nor will the Triple Goddess,” Morgause said.

* * *

“Sir Leon, you’re certain?” Arthur closed his eyes and exhaled. The Knights sitting around the table looked grim. 

“Yes, Sire. We can trace the assassin back to King Odin,” Leon said, his expression one of compassion. Everyone in the court knew how deeply Arthur would feel guilt over this revelation.

“Dammit,” Arthur cursed, running a hand over his face. 

“It’s not your fault,” Morgana said, squeezing his other hand. 

“This was revenge, for his son,” Arthur said, numbly. 

“Yes, but it isn’t your fault. The foolish boy got himself killed, that wasn’t your fault. Odin commits an act of war in retaliation for his son’s own follies,” Morgana said, through clenched teeth. 

“No, there will be no war,” Arthur said, angrily. 

“Arthur,” Morgana said, shocked. “He murdered our father. He murdered the King! It would be cowardice to…”

“Enough,” Arthur snapped at her, standing up. “I need time to think. I haven’t even buried my father yet. There will be no war, and there will be no further discussion of such.”

Morgana stared after him, the hurt apparent on her face, as he left the throne room, Merlin following behind him worriedly. She felt the rage growing in her chest. If she were Queen, Odin’s lands would burn. They would all burn.

I’m burying him too, she thought bitterly. 

She rose from her seat, dismissing the rest of the council, and Gwen trailed behind her back to her chambers. 

“Arthur’s just grieving, Milady,” Gwen said, once the doors were closed. She unlaced the back of Morgana’s gown so she could change. “And undeservedly feeling the guilt of surviving an attack that was supposed to kill him, not his father. I’m sure he didn’t mean to speak so harshly to you.”

“Even so, he said he wanted me to help him rule, but he’s certainly not interested in my opinion,” she frowned, stepping out of the black frock. 

“Give him time, Milady. I know how much he respects you,” Gwen said, soothingly.

Morgana sighed, and pulled on a green satin robe. 

“I shall try. I will take my lunch here, Gwen. I need some time to better compose myself,” she said, pouring herself a goblet of wine and taking a sip. She reached for a spell book. Despite it all, it was a relief to be able to openly read them. 

“Of course, Milady,” Gwen said, closing the door behind her as she left. 

A knock came a few minutes later.

“Enter,” Morgana said, flipping through the book aimlessly.

“Gwen sent me to bring your lunch,” Merlin said, carrying in the tray.

“Did she?” Morgana asked, setting the book aside. “I suppose she had something to attend to in Arthur’s chambers instead?”

He grinned. “I suspect she’s giving him an earful right now about his behavior earlier. For what it’s worth, he knows he’s a prat. I reminded him anyway, just in case.”

“I should hope so,” she frowned. “The whole court knows.”

“What spell were you looking for?” Merlin gestured at the book.

Morgana shrugged. “A spell to turn an annoying brother into a frog.”

Merlin considered it. “It would be an improvement, I think.” 

Morgana picked at the food on her plate. “How will he ever bring magic back, if he won’t even listen to my counsel?”

“Give him time, I know he’ll come around. It’s his destiny, and ours. You’ll be his sorceress in a reformed Camelot,” Merlin said. 

She sighed. “I’m going to have to discontinue my studies, at least for the time being. There is too much to do at the moment, too many duties to undertake. The work of three now falls upon only two.” 

“It won’t be forever. Your visions of Gwen as Queen…”

“It will be a tough sell to her when he’s a frog…” Morgana said seriously.

Merlin laughed. “Again, an improvement.”

She gave him a small smile. 

“There it is,” he said, softly. “It’s good to see you smile.” 

“Thank you,” she said, looking after him longingly as he turned to leave. 

She picked the book back up as he closed the door, and flipped back to the section of poisons and curses. 

* * *

Later that afternoon, Morgana had redressed for the afternoon council. Arthur did not make an appearance, so she made decisions as his proxy. Afterwards, when she returned to her chambers, she found him sitting on her bed.

“I came to apologize for how I spoke to you,” he said, grimly. “But I won’t be moved.”

She stared at him coldly. “I thought you intended to value my counsel.”

“I do, but I won’t follow the loss of our father with even more death,” Arthur said sadly.

“He won’t stop after assassinating a King. He’ll just become more emboldened,” she said. “We fight him now on our terms, or we fight him later on his. Either way, bloodshed is unavoidable. The time for diplomacy has passed.”

“Perhaps I am only delaying the inevitable, but at least it will be delayed,” Arthur said. “I want peace in our land, at least for now. I won’t start my reign bringing war.”

She sighed. “Then at least we return the favor. Send an assassin to kill Odin. Send me.”

Arthur grabbed her hands. “Never. I don’t want that for you, that mark on your soul of taking a life so dishonorably. You are better than Odin.”

“I’m really not,” she said, seriously. “But I will accept your decision and let the matter rest. For now. I just hope we don’t regret it.”

“I hope the same,” Arthur said, squeezing her shoulder before he left. “But we’ll get through this together.”

She watched as he closed the door then she sank backwards onto the bed. Would her brother continue to be so unmovable? If she can’t convince him to restore the rights of sorcerers in Camelot, she will have to face off with her sister, who will bring Cenred’s army. She doesn’t know what Morgause would plan without her as an ally, which makes her even more of a threat. 

She hasn’t had any dreams lately, which is promising, but still she worries of what will come.


	14. Chapter 14

The funeral was a solemn affair, the kingdom of Camelot in mourning. Arthur led the funeral procession, with Morgana following behind him shrouded in a black veil, soaked by a cold rain that felt like a manifestation of their collective grief. All eyes were upon the young prince who was soon to be King of Camelot and his “adopted” sister, both stoic and strong. Although grim in demeanor, they did not have the luxury of public grief, particularly Arthur.

Arthur had been highly agitated the day before, his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and his face an unhealthy pallor. After an uncharacteristic outburst at Gwen, Morgana had prepared an elixir that would both dull the pain of his grief, but still keep him alert. She took a small amount of it herself before the funeral.

Morgana, for her part, was ready to move forward, ready to stop being afraid and ready to live her true self. It made her feelings complicated. She knew Arthur felt the grief of their father’s death far deeper than she did, and she ached for his pain as well. She also harbored guilt for the grief she did not feel – the relief she felt now being free of her fear, for herself, for Arthur and for Camelot.

She knew the people well enough to know that, despite the good Uther had done for the kingdom, they too lived their lives in constant fear of experiencing sorcery, or that they might be accused of sorcery or aiding a sorcerer. After Gwen’s father was killed, that fear had grown exponentially. If the father of his ward’s maid could be killed so callously, what of those without connections to the royal family?

But Uther’s death had not brought them release from their gripping fear as she had expected. He could be cruel and unmovable; they ought to rejoice. Instead, they seemed even more afraid. She tried to understand why. Perhaps it was fear that Arthur would continue as his father had?

“No, Milady,” Gwen told her later when they had returned to her chambers. “They fear that war is coming, because of the way Uther died.”

“Oh,” she said, feeling foolish. She hadn’t considered the townspeople when she pushed Arthur for war with Odin. Of course they would be afraid. War brought sieged cities and burned crops. It brought shortages, hunger and disease. “Do you agree with Arthur? To just let Odin get away with it?”

“I wish to see Odin face justice for what he did, but not at the expense of the people of Camelot,” she replied. “There isn’t always justice in the world, especially not for the common folk. War will always find its way here, we don’t need to go looking for it.”

“Odin will invade at some point,” Morgana said, sinking into her chair in exhaustion in her nightgown.

“And we’ll be ready. We have great leadership,” Gwen smiled, as she collected the laundry basket and left. “Good-night, Morgana.”

“Good-night, Gwen.” She sat pondering the matter. She supposed Gwen was right. War will never serve the people of Camelot, and they deserved better leadership than that. But how could they avoid it, at least with Odin? Instead of a preventative war, perhaps a preventative alliance would better serve Camelot, she thought, as an idea suddenly sprung to mind.

Arthur won’t like it, but she decided to try it anyway. She took out parchment and ink and wrote a letter, sealing it once it was dry.

She heard a knock only moments after sealing the letter. “Enter,” she said.

“It’s only me again,” Gwen said, coming back in holding a bouquet of flowers. “Merlin asked me to give you these.”

Morgana smiled, taking them and breathing in their aroma. “How lovely, thank you for bringing them. Go on now, you should go to Arthur, he could use your company. I’ll find a vase for them myself.”

Gwen frowned. “I’m not sure I should intrude.”

“Gwen, he’s not himself, I know. But only you can really be there for him. He needs you right now, even if he’s being monstrous. Here, I have more of the elixir, this one has sedation properties; it will help him sleep.” Morgana opened her desk drawer and pulled out the tiny bottle. “Two drops will do, it’s quite potent.”

Gwen nodded, taking the vial. “I’ll take it to him.” She closed the door behind her as she left.

“You’ll be his wife someday, you’ll have to learn to deal with his emotions,” Morgana said to the closed door.

_You could have delivered them in person, you know_, Morgana told Merlin, as she filled a vase with water and arranged the flowers inside it. She would have liked to see him.

_I wouldn’t want Arthur to get jealous, I never bring him flowers_.

She laughed. _You should, he could use his spirits lifted. Have you finished tending to him tonight? _

_I just tucked him into bed. The funeral was draining for him. _

_I understand. I too am quite exhausted. _She yawned at the realization.

_I figured as much, which is why I didn’t want to intrude. Do you need something to help you sleep?_

“Yes, I need you,” she said aloud. But stopped herself from telling him. Her emotions were far too raw. Instead, she responded, _No, thank you, Merlin. You should get some rest yourself. Thank you for the flowers, they’re lovely._

_You’re welcome. Good-night, Morgana._

…

“I received word that Princess Mithian of Nemeth will be attending your coronation, along with their condolences for Uther’s death,” Morgana said as they lunched a few weeks later.

“King Rodor’s daughter? That’s surprising, since we’re in a land dispute. I wasn’t even aware we were inviting them. Are they willing to give up their claim?” Arthur asked, as Merlin gave him a second helping of the beef stew.

“Depends. Are you willing to marry Mithian?” she asked innocently.

Arthur choked on his stew. Merlin slapped him unnecessarily hard on the back, looking at her with slight alarm. Arthur glared at Merlin while Morgana fought back a smile.

“Have you been negotiating my marriage?” he asked, aghast.

She smiled at him with amusement. “Well, Mithian’s beauty and intellect are well-known. She would make a good queen and that will be their price. And it’s not as though you’re otherwise spoken for. Are you spoken for, Brother?”

He flushed red and stammered, “That’s not… I’m not… I’m not marrying someone I’ve never even met!”

“Fair enough, I can understand the reluctance. I too wish to marry someone I love,” she said, looking at Merlin as he refilled her cup. “Give them the disputed land if you don’t wish to wed their princess. Nemeth is an important ally, and it’s a small price to pay for unity. We’ll gain more in strategic positioning by having access to their kingdom than we will the parcels of disputed territory. It will help deter Odin from attacking Camelot.”

“I’ll take it under consideration,” he frowned.

She took a sip of wine and looked at him innocently. “Oh, by the way, since we aren’t holding court any further today, would you care to accompany me for a picnic later? Gwen and I would like to enjoy the weather while we can, and I could certainly use a break from duties since there is nothing that must be done today.”

“Uh, of course, that would be fine,” Arthur said.

“Merlin, you’ll come with us as well, won’t you?” Morgana asked.

“That would be lovely, thank you, Milady,” he said, pouring Arthur more wine.

Later that afternoon, the four of them rode their horses down to the riverbank and set up a picnic. It was a warm summer day, one of the last they would have for the season. Morgana and Gwen unpacked the food and made plates.

“We had a lovely picnic like this last summer, Gwen, do you remember?” Morgana commented. “But with Sir Leon and his squire.”

“Yes, that was a lovely day indeed. It was the day you told me about your magic,” Gwen said.

“Well, I believe it was more you guessed at my magic,” she smiled.

Arthur frowned. “Wait, Gwen knew all this time, and I didn’t?”

Gwen exchanged an amused look with Morgana and smiled, “Oh, but I immediately forgot.”

Arthur looked confused.

“A memory spell. I didn’t want Gwen to be at risk for the knowledge she had, so I cast a spell that would make her forget, until the point that you knew of my magic, then the spell was broken,” Morgana explained.

“Well, at least only one of the people here was intentionally keeping secrets then,” Arthur said, shoving grapes into his mouth.

Morgana glanced at Merlin who looked uncomfortable.

“With good reason, Arthur. You hadn’t known any good sorcerers, and we’d only ever seen magic bring death and misery before in Camelot,” Gwen said. “It’s understandable Morgana wouldn’t feel comfortable revealing her magic to any of us.”

Arthur frowned. “I’ve still never seen magic bring anything but death.”

Morgana looked crestfallen. 

“I mean… I didn’t mean it like…” Arthur stammered.

“He’s not seen your magic do good, Morgana,” Merlin said, gently. “Why don’t you show him, er, us?”

Morgana nodded. She repeated the trick she had shown Gwen a year ago, raising lilies from the ground, and Gwen clapped in delight as they turned into butterflies.

“Oh, that’s lovely. Isn’t it Arthur?” Gwen said. Arthur looked more nervous than impressed.

“Ouch!” Merlin said, squeezing his fist tight. Blood was dripping down his wrist and off of the knife he held in his right hand.

“Merlin, you idiot, what have you done to yourself?” Arthur frowned, grabbing a rag to hold onto the wound.

“I was slicing the bread and the knife slipped,” he explained weakly, shuddering at the sight of his own blood.

“We need to get you back to Gaius, that’s look really bad, Merlin,” Gwen said, worried.

“Here, Merlin, let me see,” Morgana said, taking his hand. “May I?” she asked.

He nodded, and opened his hand to her. She muttered a few words as her eyes glowed golden. She held her hand over his, and Gwen and Arthur watched in amazement as the wound closed, as though it had never been there in the first place. She then cleaned the blood from his hand and wrist.

“Morgana, that was incredible,” Arthur said, breathlessly.

“I want my magic to do good,” she explained, softly. “I know what darkness I could succumb to, and what my magic could become, but I want to be better.”

He kissed the top of her head. “You’re the best person I know.”

He glanced down at Morgana’s hand still touching Merlin’s. “You can stop holding my sister’s hand now, Merlin.”

Merlin flushed and pulled his hand away, as Morgana and Gwen exchanged an amused look.

They finished eating the fruit and cheese they had packed and Arthur decided he would try his hand at fishing. Gwen offered to lend him her expertise. Morgana said she would stay and read her book.

“Merlin, would you like to come as well?” Gwen asked.

“Merlin gets squeamish at the sight of fish,” Arthur said, before Merlin could respond. Merlin shrugged. Gwen and Arthur walked down together to the shore.

“Thanks for that,” Morgana said, once they were out of sight.

“For what?” Merlin asked, innocently.

“You know what. You’re not actually that clumsy. You cut yourself on purpose so I could heal you,” Morgana said.

Merlin shrugged. “I saw the look on your face when Arthur said he’d never seen magic do good. I know how you feel. I want him to understand too.”

“I know how much it must hurt to continue to keep your magic a secret from him, especially now that he knows about mine,” Morgana said.

“I’ve been patient this long. He’ll see that your magic is a force for good, and that the magic of others can be as well. There’s no hurry, I can be patient.”

She frowned. “But it can’t wait forever. Merlin… there’s something I haven’t told you.”

She told him of her meetings with Morgause, of how Arthur is to be judged by the Triple Goddess.

Merlin looked shocked, and a little hurt. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“Because it may come to pass that our interests are no longer aligned,” she admitted. “Merlin, I love my brother, but ultimately, if we can’t sway him…”

Merlin closed his eyes. “You’ll seek his throne instead.”

“I don’t want to. But if you’re wrong, if Arthur isn’t going to bring magic back and unite Albion…”

“I’m not wrong. You’ll see,” he said, firmly.

“You’re angry with me,” she frowned.

“Yeah, well, I thought you didn’t want to be the monster of your dreams,” he said, bluntly.

“Is that what you think I’m becoming?” she asked, the hurt in her voice obvious.

“I don’t know what to think,” Merlin said. “You’re meeting with your sister in secret and conspiring against Arthur…”

“That’s not what I’ve been doing!” she said, defensively.

“Then what is it, then? You said this is what happened before. In the visions you had of me poisoning you, you’d conspired with your sister for Uther’s downfall, and you were the vessel for dark magic. You said I killed you to save Camelot!”

“That wasn’t what I’d intended!” she exclaimed.

“But it’s what happened! And if you aren’t careful, that’s what could happen now,” Merlin said, agitated.

“I’m not being careless! I know what I’m doing. You just don’t trust me,” she accused.

He sighed. “That’s… not true. I trust you. I don’t trust her.”

“She wants what we want. She wants magic restored,” she said, still exasperated.

“She wants power to inflict her brand of justice. And she wants to use you to get it. I’m just worried about you.”

“I know. I’m worried too! Worried that Morgause will grow tired of waiting for Arthur to fully accept magic, and will attack Camelot.”

“We can handle Morgause,” Merlin said.

“I don’t want to handle her!” Morgana said, fighting back tears. “She’s my sister!”

“That’s not what I meant,” he sighed, running a hand over his face in frustration.

“But it will be the outcome. She’ll die. Or Arthur will. And if I have to take the crown off his stupid head in order to keep his stupid head on his shoulders, I will. But I’m trying not to let it get to that point. I just… I need Arthur to open his eyes and see what he needs to do to fulfill his destiny.”

“He will, I know he will.”

“Merlin, can you please trust me?”

He sighed. “Of course, I trust you.”

She nodded, looking down at her hands.

He pulled her hands into his. “I do. Completely.”

Tears stung her eyes. “Merlin, I…”

He dropped her hands as he heard rustling in the bushes. Arthur emerged, returning for a bag to carry the fish. He eyed them suspiciously before leaving again.

Morgana reached for him again, but Merlin moved away from her to the opposite end of the blanket. She gave a frustrated huff and opened her book of poetry, laying down on the blanket. Merlin watched as Arthur disappeared again towards the shoreline and glanced over at Morgana.

Merlin sighed, and, bored and frustrated, began to make bubbles, pulling the condensation from the air with his magic. Morgana continued to ignore him, so he blew them towards her. She crinkled her nose at him in annoyance as one popped when reaching her book. She hadn’t seemed angry with him just before Arthur interrupted, so he couldn’t figure out why she still seemed so agitated with him now. He closed his eyes, laying down on the other side of the blanket to enjoy the warm sun while he pondered the mystery of women.

Unable to concentrate on the text, Morgana allowed herself to look over at him, his eyes closed. She felt such longing at the sight of him, his dark hair, chiseled face, her frustration simmering just below the surface. Would she ever have the courage to tell him of her love for him? And would he ever really trust her?

She closed her eyes as well, tears stinging them again. There he was, just across the picnic blanket from her, yet so far from her reach.

She and Merlin were both fast asleep by the time Arthur and Gwen returned from the shore, holding hands and laughing. They continued to hold hands and sat on another blanket some distance away from them, letting their companions rest.

“He fancies her, you know,” Arthur murmured accusingly, gesturing at Merlin.

“Surely you can see it’s quite mutual. Would that be so bad? Merlin and Morgana?” Gwen smiled.

He groaned. “Merlin as my brother-in-law? I can think of nothing worse.”

“Oh, you don’t mean that. They’d be good for one another.”

Arthur shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about Merlin being with my sister. It’s disgusting.”

She laughed softly. “What would you rather speak of?”

Arthur smiled. “I’d rather not speak at all.”

Gwen smiled as he kissed her, and continued to kiss her, until not too long later, their companions finally woke up to find them staring at them.

“What are you two grinning about?” Morgana grumbled sleepily, smoothing down her hair.

“Well, while you two were napping, we caught a bounty for supper. Why don’t we go to my house and I’ll cook the fish?” Gwen said.

“That sounds delightful,” Arthur said.

Morgana glanced at Merlin. “I’ll have to pass on supper, there are some things that I need to see Gaius about this evening. You three enjoy it, though.”

“I, uh, need to do some work for Gaius, but save me some leftovers, Gwen,” Merlin said, beginning to pack up. “I’ll pack up here and take everything back.”

“Okay, that’s fine, more for me then. Shall we?” Arthur said, helping Gwen onto her horse.

Merlin watched them ride over the hill before using his magic to quickly pack everything up.

“Was that about giving them more privacy, or did you just not want to spend any more time in my presence, Milady?” Merlin asked.

Morgana huffed. “I’m here right now, aren’t I?” She grabbed the picnic blanket and folded it, placing it on the back of her mare and mounting it.

“I’m sorry about what I said before, I truly am,” Merlin said, tying down the basket and getting onto his horse as well.

She sighed. “Can you ever really trust me?”

“Of course. I do trust you. I’m sorry I gave you reason to doubt that,” Merlin said.

The ride back to the castle was silent and they parted ways.


	15. Chapter 15

Morgana had hardly a free moment in the months since Uther’s death. With the added responsibilities for both her and Arthur, she hadn’t a single moment of leisure since their picnic weeks ago. Even meals had been consumed along with work.

Arthur’s coronation would be an elaborate affair, hopefully well worth her efforts. Now finally, the time had come, and she hoped she could regain some sense of normalcy once the event had passed and Arthur was officially crowned.

She had already sent Gwen home and was about to turn in for the night to try to get some rest before the coronation began the next day, when she heard a soft knock on the door. She opened it to find Merlin standing there. She had scarcely spoken to him in the past few weeks since their picnic, beyond giving him rapid-fire instructions on things to do for Arthur. Seeing him at her door reminded her how much she missed their routine from before. Their studies of medicine and magic. Their time spent together and their long conversations well into the night. That seemed certain to end with all of her new responsibilities, not to mention the unresolved distrust between them, she thought tiredly.

“Can I come in?” Merlin asked, as she looked at him vacantly.

She returned her concentration back to him with a strained smile. “Yes, of course. I apologize; I haven’t had a lot of sleep.”

“More nightmares?” he asked, worried, as he closed the door behind him.

“No, just overwhelmed by work to do,” she frowned. “I’ve not had any prophetic dreams in months, not since before Uther’s death.”

“I’ve wondered about that, why you didn’t dream of Uther’s death. Isn’t it strange you wouldn’t have dreamed about something so significant?” he mused.

“I… I don’t know,” she said, not having considered it before.

“Why do you think that is?” he asked.

The realization pierced her chest like a sword. “You think I did dream it, but I just let him die?” Her eyes suddenly flashed with anger. “You really do think me a monster, don’t you? Get out.”

He looked at her surprised. “Morgana, I didn’t mean…”

Her eyes welled up with tears, her expression indignant. “No matter what, you’ll only view me with suspicion, won’t you? Your fated enemy trying to steal Arthur’s crown!” she shouted.

Her eyes lit up gold, as tears spilled down her cheeks, and the windows began to shake. “It’s your destiny to kill me, isn’t it? Isn’t it, Emrys? Just like the dragon foretold.”

He looked at her, horrified. “No, Morgana, never.” He placed both his hands on the sides of her face and looked into her gold-rimmed eyes. “I never meant that you intended Uther harm. I was just curious about your dreams. That is all, I promise. I will never hurt you. That is a promise too.”

Her eyes turned back to normal and she exhaled. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been sleeping much. I’m just so tired, and overwhelmed by it all.”

“And still grieving, I know. I’m sorry, it was really insensitive of me. I don’t think you’re a monster, not at all. I think you’re an extraordinary person, particularly because of how you forgave Uther, and showed him love and compassion. You are the most extraordinary person I’ve ever known.”

She looked at him skeptically.

He sighed. “Please forgive me. I promise I have complete faith in you. That’s what I came to tell you tonight, what I wanted you to know before Arthur takes the throne tomorrow. I know you think I doubt you, but I don’t. I trust you completely, and I know you’ll always do what’s best for Arthur and for Camelot. I will support you whatever happens next.”

She looked up at him, stunned. “Thank you. You don’t know how much it means to hear that from you, above all. I’m sorry I’ve been...”

He brushed the tears off her cheeks gently. “You have nothing to apologize for; it’s me who is sorry. All I’ve done is upset you when I just wanted to be sure you were okay. I shouldn’t have come; it was a mistake,” he said, stroking her hair. She leaned into his touch.

“No, I want you here,” she said, looking up at him, realizing how close they were, she put her hands on his chest. “I’ve missed you, Merlin. So much. Please don’t go.”

He looked down into her green eyes, surprised by what he saw. Before he could object, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his.

He groaned at the contact, and deepened the kiss, his hands woven into her hair. His whole body was suddenly on fire; her kiss was intoxicating like nothing he’d ever experienced before. Was this her magic? Or just her feminine appeal? Or the suppressed feelings he’s had for her for years?

He reluctantly pulled away. “Forgive me, Milady,” he said, smoothing down her hair that he had mussed. “It’s not my place to…”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Merlin. I want you. I have for so long,” she finally admitted, her expression vulnerable.

“Morgana,” he breathed, before they began kissing again heatedly.

He knew he shouldn’t be kissing her; he had no right to. He was just a servant, and she was a princess. They were equals only when it came to their magical heritage, and their place as undesirables in Uther’s kingdom. But it wasn’t Uther’s kingdom anymore, it was to be Arthur’s. And while apparently Arthur had discovered Morgana’s magic and accepted it, he hadn’t yet decided what to do about the sorcerers who are not his sister.

While in inner turmoil over his actions, he felt Morgana’s hands move under the back of his shirt. Her hands were beautiful torture against his bare skin. He pulled away from her mouth, to plant kisses along her neck, and down her collarbone, until he reached her chest. She arched her back, pushing into his lips, softly moaning as he kissed a wet trail between her breasts, down her nightgown. She scraped her nails gently across his back.

This is madness, he thought. He could never really have her, only take pleasure from her body, and it would only serve to remind him how he could never have more than that. And then he certainly wouldn’t deserve her, being such a scoundrel as to take advantage of a lady in mourning.

He pulled away, intending to stop this from going any further.

“Merlin,” she said, firmly. “You’re worrying too much.”

He stepped away from her so he could think clearly and rubbed at his face in frustration. “I’ve good reason to worry. We started the evening arguing, and now we’re having a snog. Hardly appropriate for a servant to do either with a princess.”

“You aren’t just a servant, Merlin, we both know that,” she said. “You’re the most powerful sorcerer to ever live. That’s your destiny. Perhaps it is I who am unworthy of you.”

He laughed bitterly. “You can tell all that to Arthur after he has me beheaded.”

“Arthur wouldn’t dare,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, he would. He definitely would. I wouldn’t even blame him,” he groaned, turning away from her, his head in his hands.

“I’d never let him hurt you,” she said, coming up behind him to hold him and lean her head against his back. He relaxed and sighed under her touch. He was in trouble.

He turned around and held her against his chest and placed a kiss atop her head.

“I should go. You need your rest, and I’ve caused enough discord for one evening,” he said.

She looked up at him. “Will you return tomorrow? After the coronation celebration has ended. We can talk more.”

He was in so much trouble. He kissed her again softly. “Okay.”

“Goodnight,” she said, with a soft smile.

“Goodnight, Milady,” he said, then closed the door behind him.


	16. Chapter 16

Morgana woke just before sunrise to prepare for the long day ahead. Gwen would be around soon to help her dress and put up her hair, but she took a moment to watch the sky come alive outside of her window. The dawning of a new day, and new age for Camelot, she marveled; the beginning of the life she had dreamed about.

She pulled out two dresses from her armoire. One was her coronation gown, white satin with gold and silver embroidery. The other was a sapphire blue gown with gold and silver trim that she had specially made for Gwen. She was very excited to see her in it. She was even more excited for Arthur to see it. She wanted him to imagine how Gwen would look beside him as his Queen.

Gwen knocked and entered a few moments later with a breakfast tray.

“Oh, Gwen, I’m far too anxious to eat a single bite,” she said, finishing brushing out her hair.

“You must eat a little something. Wouldn’t want to faint during the coronation. The dress you’ve chosen is quite restrictive.”

“Oh, speaking of dresses, do take a look at what I’ve laid out for you to wear,” she said, nonchalantly.

Gwen looked confused and walked over to the dressing area. She gasped. “Milady, you’ve set this dress out for me to wear? But why?”

“Of course. You can’t be a Lady in Waiting at Court wearing servant’s clothes.”

“Lady in Waiting? But, Morgana, I’m not nobility,” Gwen said, shocked.

“I don’t care, and neither does Arthur. You’ll be magnificent. I could use more help with the added responsibilities I have. First thing you’ll need to do is hire a new ladies’ maid to serve us,” Morgana said.

“Us? But I don’t need…”

“Of course you will. You’ll need to look the part, and to do so, you’ll need some assistance. Also, I think you should move to the palace. It would make things easier.”

“I will consider it, Milady,” Gwen said, stunned.

“Good. Now, let me help you into that dress, I can’t wait to see how it looks,” Morgana beamed.

A few hours later, they were both ready for the coronation. Morgana’s loose curls hung behind her in a partial updo, which would accommodate her crown. Gwen’s flowing hair was uncharacteristically tamed into a sleek updo.

“Here, try these earrings,” Morgana said, handing her a pair. “Perfect.”

A knock came at the door. Gwen answered it.

“Merlin!” she said, letting him in. “What do you think?”

“Gwen, you look stunning! I hear congratulations are in order.”

“Indeed, I’ve been promoted. You look very nice, Merlin. Arthur made you clean up, I see.”

“Yes, I…” he hesitated as Morgana approached, looking like a Queen. He bowed. “Your Highness.”

“You do look very handsome, Merlin. Here, let me fix this,” she said, smoothing out his collar. She let her hand lightly graze his neck as she did it. She gave a small smile as she heard his sudden inhale of breath.

He cleared his throat. “Your Highness, I believe it is time to take our places in the hall. The Knights of Camelot are outside to escort you.”

“Of course. Gwen, it is time,” she said, letting her fingers linger a moment longer.

Arthur appeared in the hall. “Morgana? Are you ready?”

“Arthur, you look quite regal,” she smiled, inspecting him. “Gwen, doesn’t the King look splendid?”

Gwen flushed, and curtsied. “Yes, His Majesty does.”

Arthur’s mouth hung open at the sight of her.

_Clotpole is speechless for once_, Merlin told Morgana. She grinned.

“What do you think of Gwen’s new dress? She looks stunning, doesn’t she? I chose it for her,” Morgana bragged.

“Yes, I… beautiful,” Arthur stammered.

Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Gwen, Merlin, could you give Arthur and I a moment alone?” Morgana asked.

“Of course, we’ll wait for you outside, Milady,” Gwen said, sweeping past Arthur with her elaborate skirt.

Morgana closed the door with a flick of her wrist.

Arthur jumped. “I’m still not used to that.”

She smiled. “I wanted a moment with you before the coronation, to tell you how proud I am of you.”

Arthur embraced her, careful not to wrinkle her gown or mess her hair. “I’m glad you’re here with me, I wouldn’t want to do this alone. I don’t think I could.”

“I’m certain you would be a fine king without me, but I’m glad to be a part of your court. In another life, that wouldn’t have been possible. I’m grateful you’ve embraced me, magic and all.”

“Morgana,” he frowned. “I know the edict going out today isn’t all you’ve hoped for, but I need more time.”

She nodded. “It’s an important first step, stopping the execution of magic users. And for it to be your first official act, it’s significant.”

“I couldn’t let my beloved sister continue to be subject to an offense punishable by death, living in fear in her own lands, surely,” he said, shaking his head. “Even if Father would be outraged by it all.”

She looked up at him, wondering when that scrawny little kid his friends had called Wart, and later the spoiled, arrogant adolescent prince, grew up to be such a good man. She put a gloved hand on his cheek.

“You’ll be a better king than Uther. You’ll be the best king to ever rule these lands.”

He nodded, blinking back tears. “Thank you.”  
  
“I love you, Brother,” she said, embracing him again, and kissing his cheek.

“I love you, too,” he whispered into her hair.

She pulled away and inspected him one last time. “Come, King Arthur, it’s time to accept your crown,” she said, taking his hand and leading him out the door.

. . .

The coronation was a magnificent affair, with an assortment of visiting dignitaries attending. Arthur took his vows to Camelot, with Morgana at his side.

The banquet was exquisite, and Arthur looked every bit the King, with his golden crown atop his golden hair. Morgana, seated at his side, with her golden tiara. And Gwen, seated beside her, looking nervous but elated.

“More wine, Milady?” Merlin smiled, as he poured more into Gwen’s cup at the banquet.

“Merlin, you needn’t serve me,” Gwen said.

“Of course, I do. You aren’t a servant anymore,” he said, warmly.

Merlin may be happy for her, but she could see the looks of jealousy on the other servants’ faces.

One of the knights approached and asked Gwen to dance, Morgana shooing her off to do so while declining her own offer.

“You should dance, Morgana,” Arthur said, eyeing Gwen on the dance floor.

“I much prefer to watch. She looks lovely, doesn’t she?”

“Indeed, she does,” he said, his voice softening.

“I hope this will make her transition easier,” Morgana smiled slyly.

“Transition?”

“Yes. Going from Lady in Waiting to Queen should be easier than servant to Queen. Her hands will be softer by then at least,” Morgana grinned over her wine cup.

Arthur looked at her and sighed. “I’m that obvious, am I?”

“Quite. But she will make a wonderful Queen. One doesn’t need to be a seer to know that.”

He smiled, watching Gwen glide gracefully across the dance floor. “And what about you? No suitors here among all this stuffy nobility?”

“Stuffy nobility indeed, and certainly not any of them, no,” she smiled, her eyes drifting to Merlin, who was standing across the room. If Arthur caught her meaning, he didn’t let on.

“Well, come, dance with your brother at least,” he said, wiping his face and extending his hand.

“As His Majesty Commands,” she said, taking it.

. . .

The party finally wound down, and Arthur bid his guests goodnight, Merlin following behind him.

“Gwen, I am ready to retire myself,” Morgana said, with an exaggerated yawn.

“Oh, yes, of course,” she said, watching Arthur leave.

They left the banquet hall just behind Arthur and Merlin.

“Oh, Your Majesty,” Morgana said. “If you could possibly manage to take off your own trousers, could I borrow your manservant? I need some things carried back from the banquet hall this evening.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I can dress myself, I do it all the time.” Merlin stifled a grin beside him.

“Wonderful,” Morgana smiled. “Would you be so kind as to escort Gwen home, however? It’s quite late.”

“Oh, what about your gown, Morgana?” Gwen asked.

“I will be fine,” she replied, not asking how Gwen might manage to unlace her own.

“Very well. Shall we, Guinevere?” he said, offering her his arm.

“Certainly, Sire,” she smiled.

“That was just a bit obvious of you,” Merlin grinned, watching the couple disappear down the corridor.

“They could use a push,” she explained. “Walk with me?”

He offered her his arm. He was ready to leave when they reached her door, but she stopped him.

“You promised,” she pouted.

He looked around, and quickly entered her chambers, as she closed the door behind them.

She slowly put her arms around his neck and kissed him. “I’ve been wanting to do that all night.”

“Me too,” he admitted.

She kissed him again, her hands in his hair.

He pulled away reluctantly. “I thought we were going to talk?”

She sighed. “Fine. At least let me get comfortable, it’s been an exhausting day. Will you help me out of this gown?” she asked, turning around for him to untie the laces.

His hands trembled slightly as he worked the laces, as he’d once done years ago. Once undone, Morgana slid down the gown and stepped out of it, wearing only her shift. Nothing he hadn’t seen before, but as she picked up the gown and hung it up, making no effort to cover herself, he let himself look over her body. She was exquisite, the very picture of feminine perfection, he thought.

She sat down at the vanity table and began unpinning her hair. He watched with fascination for a moment then he muttered a few words to make the remaining pins come out, her hair falling loosely around her shoulders. She grinned at him in the mirror as she began to brush her hair. He let himself enjoy the intimacy of the moment, to think he could be privy to this ritual every night. But then he shook himself back to reality.

“We should talk,” he said, finally.

“Indeed,” she said, tugging on a stubborn tangle.

“I don’t know what’s happening here, but I’m concerned,” he frowned.

She turned around to face him. “Do you not desire me, Merlin?”

“That’s not the problem, not at all,” he laughed mirthlessly.

“Then have you no affection for me?” she frowned.

“On the contrary, I care very deeply for you,” he said.

She looked relieved but confused. “So then why do you hesitate to take what I offer you?”

“I’m not sure what you’re offering, to be honest,” he said.

She put the brush down and stood up to face him.

She kissed him softly. “I’m offering myself to you. My heart. My body.”

He looked at her, conflicted. “And your hand? Would you wed a servant, Milady?”

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with hope. “Are you asking for my hand?”

His expression was pained. “I have no right to ask. Arthur would never allow it.”

“It isn’t Arthur’s choice, it’s mine,” she said, stubbornly.

“Why would you even want this? Want me?” he frowned. “Marrying a servant would be an embarrassment for you, even more so than just an affair, which would ruin your reputation.”

“If being with a servant is good enough for the king, can I not make the same choice? Besides, I don’t care what anyone else thinks about it. And once you reveal yourself as a sorcerer, your position will change.”

“Yes, I might be burned at the stake,” he groaned.

“I told you, I’d never allow him to harm you. Arthur loves me and has accepted me. And he loves you even if he won’t admit it.”

Merlin was silent, contemplating which he’d be more likely to die for, being a sorcerer or bedding the King’s sister.

“Be honest with me, Merlin. If Arthur wasn’t a concern, what would you want? Right here, right now? With no regard for consequences? What would you want?” she looked up at him, her eyes pleading.

He only had to look at her, and he was struck completely helpless.

“You. I want you.” He placed a hand behind her neck and kissed her passionately. He wanted her desperately, there was no use denying it any longer.

She broke the kiss after a few moments and stepped away from him slightly. She pulled the straps of her shift down and let it fall to the ground around her feet. She drew him close again, kissing him, her bare chest pressed up against him.

They made it to her bed, where Merlin began to shed his clothes as well. He loved the feel of her, the taste of her. His mouth sucking gently on her breasts, and his fingers penetrating her wet folds. The soft hums she made as he explored her body was the most beautiful music he’d ever heard.

Morgana tugged off his tunic, and kissed across his smooth chest, caressing the soft down of dark hair. She brought his mouth back to hers, then deftly untied his britches. She pushed them down, revealing his hardened manhood, which she stroked gently. He moaned in response, having to focus to not finish right then and there.

_Merlin, make love to me_, she told him, without uttering a word. He heard her words echo in his mind, full of her love and desire for him.

As he entered her, their eyes glowed gold. The bed trembled with their joined energy as he moved inside of her. Their skin warmed and pulsed with magic as they made love. They approached climax, feeling the swirl of magic surrounding them, as they reached, then came down from, their shared ecstasy. It was unlike any experience either had ever had with magic, or with another person.

“Merlin, I love you,” she whispered, overwhelmed by her feelings for him, and the magic they produced.

He looked into her eyes, no longer gold but her usual warm green. “I love you, Morgana.”

He kissed her again, still inside of her, feeling himself growing hard again. It must be a very unique kind of magic, he thinks. He’s never experienced anything like it.

. . .

They fell asleep in each other’s arms, exhausted and fulfilled. They woke just before the sun was about to rise, and Merlin knew he had to leave before the servants began to arrive.

“Will you come to me again this evening?” she said, watching him dress. As she sat up, she let the sheet fall to her waist, exposing her breasts.

“Of course.” He pulled her close and kissed her, groaning as he grew hard once again. She was addictive.

“I love you,” she said, stroking him through his pants. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I love you too, but you really have to, ohhh,” he said, as she untied his pants again and brought her mouth to his cock. She licked a path down his hardened shaft and then took him entirely into her mouth, continuing to suck.

“Please, Morgana, I’m so close…” he groaned as he finished in her mouth.

He couldn’t even see straight, as she wiped her mouth and swallowed his seed.

He grabbed her and kissed her hard. He pushed her back onto the bed, spreading her legs and sinking his mouth between them. He lapped up her wetness, and ran his tongue over her clitoris in rhythmic circles, his magic warm and pulsing, until she cried out, clutching the bedsheets as she came. She knew it was partly the way his magic combined with hers, and partly that she was in love with him, but every orgasm with him was more intense than anything she’d ever felt before.

“I really need to go now,” he said frantically, hearing voices in the corridor. “I’ll see you again tonight, my love.”

He dressed himself again, and making sure the coast was clear, left to go wash before attending to Arthur.

Morgana laid in bed, fully satisfied, and happier than she had ever been. Had she ever really dared to think that this could be her future instead of the tortured one of her dreams? Princess of Camelot, at the side of her beloved brother, a good and just king, permitted to be with the man, the sorcerer, she loves? She thought back to the hurt and torment of her dreams, and shuddered. How different things might have been if she wasn’t a seer, if she couldn’t change her future.


	17. Chapter 17

“Trust me, he is no friend of yours, Brother,” Morgana said, seated to Arthur’s right.

“Why do you believe him false?” Arthur asked, surprised.

“I’ve seen it in my visions. He would see you fall, because you are Uther’s son. He blames Father for your mother’s death, as well as you. He thinks the ruin of Camelot is justice for her.” She refrained from telling the rest of the Round Table that she knew he would happily ally with her to attempt to overthrow Arthur. She knew not all of the Knights were exactly thrilled with her magical abilities, and it made some of them outright nervous. She spared a glance across the room at Merlin, who looked at her knowingly.

“My Lady, what would you have us do about Lord Agravaine? Surely the King cannot risk insult to his own uncle by denying him his place at Court with no evidence yet of wrongdoing,” Sir Leon asked.

_We can make better use of him, outside of Camelot. _Merlin told Morgana from his inconspicuous seat in the corner of the room.

“Of course not, you’re absolutely right, Sir Leon. Instead, we should keep him occupied with business for the Crown, as far from Camelot as possible,” Morgana said, putting forth Merlin’s idea.

“Should we not keep him close, so we can watch him, My Lady?” Lancelot asked.

“Normally, I would think so, Sir Lancelot, and consider that the wisest course, but he would have too many opportunities for sabotage. I also worry him being in too close proximity to my sister, and other potential enemies of Camelot,” she said.

“He might be useful in negotiations…” Arthur said, as the others also pitched ideas.

“It is settled then. He shall lead the troop placement to Nemeth and then work on the transition of the disputed lands. An important task worthy of his position, but with little trouble he can get into with our allies. Sir Elyan and Sir Percival shall accompany him as his personal guard. Let us adjourn and take to the training yard,” Arthur said finally, standing up, followed by the rest of the table.

Merlin waited until they had all left the room to speak.

“Even without your influence, you’re certain Agravaine intends to overthrow Camelot?” Merlin asked.

She frowned. “I realize I may be unfairly judging him, but in my dream, he came to me to offer his service, I did not seek him out. Perhaps without my seeking the crown, he would not act against Arthur, but there are still other enemies of Camelot, including my sister. I can’t be certain, but I also can’t take the chance. I think it’s safe to say he doesn’t have Arthur’s best interests at heart. Good suggestion, by the way. My own would have been far bloodier.”

Merlin smirked. “There’s a glimpse of that darkness I’ve been told so much about.”

Morgana huffed in mock offense. “You’ve seemed to enjoy my wicked streak as of late, my love.”

Merlin looked out the door and upwards at the balcony to be sure they were alone, then pulled her close. “Would that I could enjoy it right now,” he said, kissing her heatedly.

“You’ll just have to wait until tonight, I have work to do,” she whispered into his ear, before leaving the hall.

_Torturous woman_, _you know_ _I’ll never survive that long. You know how desperately I need you, how much I love you_, he replied.

She couldn’t keep the smile from her lips at the sentiment. All this time, waiting for him to be ready, she finally had his heart. Having his body was also especially enjoyable. The past few weeks had been heavenly.

_Sister, enough stalling, we need to meet._ She heard in her head. _Tonight. Arthur’s debt is come due. _

The smile left her lips immediately.

. . .

“Fine, but bring her here,” Arthur said at supper that evening.

“Sire, it’s too dangerous to bring her here,” Merlin frowned, refilling his cup. “We don’t know her intentions, whether she’s still intent upon conquering Camelot.”

“Surely she couldn’t see Camelot as a threat, with her own sister as Princess?” Gwen objected, shaking her head at Merlin’s attempt at a refill.

“She would rather Morgana be Queen,” Merlin said. “As Queen, she could inflict her brand of justice and give rise to a new era where magic dominates, not just coexists peacefully.”

Morgana shot him a dirty look. Arthur looked at them both like he was putting together a puzzle that was missing several pieces.

“Then let us meet. Surely we can show her that Camelot under my rule will be kinder to those who use magic,” Arthur said. He seemed unbothered by the threat she posed.

“How can we, when we haven’t even decided what that looks like?” Morgana frowned.

“Arthur, I think Morgana is correct that Morgause won’t be impressed by a meeting that yields no real answers on magic users,” Gwen offered.

“Then I will go with you, along with a group of knights,” Arthur said.

“Arthur, no,” Morgana said.

“Sire, I agree, that would be an unnecessary risk to have you or any knights with her,” Merlin said.

“So you would have my sister out in the woods alone with someone who wants Camelot destroyed?” Arthur growled, knowing he was losing this argument.

“Not alone, Sire. I will accompany the Princess,” Merlin offered.

Arthur barked a laugh. “You? You can barely wield a sword, let alone take on a powerful sorceress.”

Morgana stifled a grin as Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Morgana can hold her own, both with magic and with a sword. But Merlin can go as a spy, so that if anything goes wrong, he can come back to warn you,” Gwen suggested.

Morgana nodded. “I would agree to that.”

Arthur sighed. “Fine, but I still don’t like it.”

. . .

They left after supper, just before sundown on horseback.

“This isn’t how I’d hoped we would be spending our evening together, but I’m glad you’re with me, nonetheless,” Morgana said, looking over her shoulder at Merlin with a smile.

“I am glad as well, my love,” he said, returning her smile.

They rode to the meeting location, but Merlin did not stay behind as agreed.

“Why have you brought your servant, Sister? Can he be trusted?”

“I trust him with my life, Sister.”

“Very well. It is time we discuss your ascension to the throne.”

“I am Arthur’s heir, but as I’ve said, I would prefer I never need inherit. Arthur will wed and produce his own heirs, and I will be at his side as Princess of Camelot.”

“Arthur is a Pendragon, and he will never accept magic. He is now King and nothing has changed.”

“That isn’t true. I’ve seen it. It is prophesied. Arthur is the Once and Future King of a united Albion, and he will restore magic to these lands.”

“So the Druids claim. But as High Priestess, I serve the Triple Goddess, and Arthur’s crimes against magic will not go unpunished.”

“He will make amends.”

“How?”

“He knows of my magic, and he has accepted it.”

“So, he loves his sister enough to not burn her for sorcery. What of the rest of us? Is he going to accept the Old Religion? I think not.”

“As I’ve told you, he will do you no harm so long as you take no harm against Camelot. Be our ally, Sister. Help us bring magic back to Camelot and unite Albion.”

“I will never ally with a Pendragon,” she said, coldly. “I told you my terms. Arthur must answer for his crimes.”

“You forget, I am a Pendragon,” Morgana said, looking hurt.

“Unfortunate, yes, but you are nothing like Uther.”

“Neither is Arthur. He is a good and just king. He is a good man.”

“What say you, servant boy? You look like you’ve got an opinion you wish to share,” Morgause eyed him suspiciously.

“I agree with Princess Morgana. Arthur is a good king and will be the greatest in all of history.”

“And what do you think of magic?” she said, stepping into his personal space. “Do you fear it?”

“Magic is merely a tool of villainy or of heroism depending upon who wields it. How will you choose to wield your magic, My Lady?”

She looked at him intensely.

“Does Arthur feel the same?”

“I believe he does now that he has seen what good magic can do.”

“The choice, however, is not up to me. I only serve the Triple Goddess. If the Triple Goddess commands Arthur’s downfall, it shall be done.”

“At your hands?” Morgana asked. “Please, Sister, come to Court and see for yourself. We shall prepare for your visit, honor your presence with a banquet.”

Morgause looked surprised at this, as did Merlin.

“Please, come in a fortnight.”

Morgause looked long and hard at her sister, and then said, “I will do as you ask.”

Morgana smiled and embraced her. “Thank you.”

Morgause nodded, and then left the cave. They heard her horse gallop away.

“That was easier than I thought,” Merlin noted. “Although I still don’t know if it’s wise to welcome her through the castle gates.”

“Well, getting her to visit is one thing, getting her alliance will be another entirely.”

“But if anyone can convince her, it’s you,” he smiled, kissing her.

She sighed happily as they kissed, slipping her tongue past his lips and running her hands through his short hair.

_You know, they aren’t expecting us back right away…_ she projected.

He groaned, as she began to untie her blouse.

_I’ve wanted you all day, I could barely think of anything else… _he responded.

_Nor could I, my love…_ she said, letting her blouse fall to the ground, as he palmed her bare breasts in his hands.

She shimmied out of her trousers and stood bare before him, her raven locks falling around her shoulders. She looked like the very essence of magic — mystical and other-worldly — at the same time so very human and vulnerable — soft curves and smooth skin — inviting touch and taste and exploration.

Merlin embraced her, still fully clothed, and kissed her slowly, before dropping to his knees before her. He spread her legs apart and sank his mouth between her thighs. He worshipped her with his lips and his tongue, bringing her just to the brink, but she stopped him.

“Merlin, not yet,” she said, pulling him up. She undressed him and kissed him slowly, tasting herself on him. She pulled away and then looked him in the eyes. “We’ll take our pleasure together.”

Merlin kissed her again, and then the idea occurred to him. His eyes lit up gold and with a few words, the cave transformed. Instead of dust and rock, the cave was filled with silks, and in the center, a luxurious featherbed.

Morgana grinned. “Much better.”

“Only the best for the Princess of Camelot,” he said, leading her to the bed in the midst of his illusion.

. . .

“Mm, I wish we never had to leave this cave,” she murmured happily into his bare chest.

“As do I,” Merlin said, kissing the top of her messy tangle of dark curls.

“We should tell Arthur. I don’t want to have to hide our love any longer,” she said, looking up at him.

“I don’t think he’s quite ready for that yet. He hasn’t even realized he needs to marry Gwen. And he doesn’t know I’m a sorcerer. He needs to figure out what to do about sorcerers first.”

Morgana pouted. “I just don’t want to wait to be with you any longer. I’ve spent years waiting for you…”

“Wait, years?” he asked her, surprised.

“I’ve known our shared destiny since I first changed my own. That we would love each other. That we should be wed.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” he looked at her with surprise.

“I didn’t want to rob you of your choices. You already have to serve my brother so you can fulfill your destiny, and his. If you could choose a destiny, would that be it? Washing Arthur’s dirty trousers so you can be at arm’s length to save him when necessary?”

“Maybe not, but it’s still where I belong.”

“And here you are now, where you belong. But you’re here because you chose it, not because it was chosen for you. You chose me,” she said, smiling. “It was worth the wait.”

He frowned. “But if you’ve known all this time, did you have a choice?”

“Of course. I could easily have chosen another path, just as I did when we would have been enemies. I chose you, Merlin. I chose us.”

He kissed her deeply. “I can’t sustain this illusion spell for much longer, but I don’t want to leave your embrace.”

“This is why we must tell Arthur soon. I don’t want to wait any longer to be with you, to be wed.”

“To be wed to the princess of Camelot,” he grinned, and kissed her again, softly this time. “You’re much more than I’d ever hoped for in life.”

“You’re the greatest sorcerer in history, surely you had high aspirations?” she smiled, pulling away and gathering her clothes to dress. She held up his pants. “Here, I’ve got your trousers.”

He caught them as she tossed them to him, but stopped to watch her dress, before he gathered the rest of his own clothes. “I’ve always been alone, and I thought I would always be alone. And if I ever imagined finding someone I could trust with my secrets, and who would love me in spite of them, I never imagined she would love me in part because of them. And I never imagined she would be a powerful sorceress and a princess. What about you, my love? Surely when you imagined your life, you didn’t imagine being wed to a sorcerer who is also your brother’s manservant?”

She laughed. “I never imagined myself wed at all. It seemed like a particularly cruel form of captivity, to be a woman with no agency, only existing to create heirs for a nobleman and warm his bed when he desires. My father Gorlois was a good man, and he had ordered that I should only marry by my own choice, because he knew the cruelty of men. And I’ve seen more than my share of terrible noblemen, both in this life and in my dreams. You’re the only man I’ve ever considered being bound to, who would treat me as an equal in our marriage, and not exert authority over me by virtue of being male.”

“I will always treat you with the respect and honor you deserve, and I can hardly wait to be your husband,” he said, kissing her gently.

“Come, my love, it is time to return home,” she said, looking around at the magical cave as Merlin released the illusion charm and it returned to its normal state.

As they left, they failed to notice a pair of blue eyes watching them from the safety of the tree line.


	18. Chapter 18

When Morgana and Merlin returned to the castle from their meeting with Morgause, the King was unavailable. He and Lancelot had left the castle suddenly on a mission, and were not expected to return for at least a day. Merlin was very concerned, particularly with Morgause in the area, and why had Arthur not waited until their return to leave? But Sir Leon assured him they would be safe and the errand was time-sensitive. Morgana huffed with displeasure. With Arthur gone, she was his proxy; all of the work was hers to complete.

She spent a long day in Court to hear local disputes, and had no choice but to suffer the company of Agravaine without her brother as a buffer. He may not be her ally, but he spent just as much time leering at her, perhaps even moreso than in her dream. In her dream, he’d at least had a healthy fear of her powerful magic. While her magic was the open secret at Court, and he was certainly aware of it, Agravaine seemed remarkably unconcerned by it. She would be relieved for him to depart the following week. In the meantime, she had been forced to dine with him at both lunch and supper, his eyes always finding their way to her breasts when they spoke. He didn’t dare do such things in Arthur’s presence, but when left alone, he clearly felt emboldened.

When Arthur finally returned more than a day later, the council met to discuss Morgause’s visit. Preparations had already begun in his absence for her arrival.

“Sire, I have grave security concerns about welcoming this sorceress into Camelot, when we know she wants to see you overthrown,” Sir Leon frowned.

“As do I, but I also care not for the alternative,” Arthur sighed, looking over at Morgana. She had finally disclosed that Morgause would see him judged by the Triple Goddess. His only chance was to undo his father’s legacy of persecution, but he had so far continued to hesitate.

“My sister will honor her role as a guest of Camelot, she would not betray us, at least not in that way,” Morgana assured him.

“Your Highness, I know of her reputation abroad, and with all due respect, I don’t trust she wouldn’t leave something behind, an effort of sabotage,” Sir Lancelot said. Morgana looked at him for the first time that day, wondering what trouble he and Arthur had found on their errand that had left its mark upon his face, examining the large bruise across his jaw. 

“Then we will ensure she’s watched closely,” Morgana said, standing up and approaching Lancelot. “I have faith in the Knights of Camelot. May I, Sir Lancelot?"

He gave her a look of confusion and she gestured at his jaw. Finally understanding, he nodded his consent, and she touched his face gingerly while examining him with an appraising eye. With her hand on his face, she muttered silent words and her hand was warm on his cheek. When she took it away, the bruise was only still faintly there and the swelling was reduced considerably.

"Only the smallest break, I think. Shouldn't have caused any trouble, but just in case, no sense in leaving it unmended. That goes for all of you, of course. I am always at the service of the Knights of Camelot," she said, looking around the table as she again took her seat. The other knights murmured in appreciation. How often had they suffered broken bones and wounds that could have been healed so efficiently by their Lady's hand? No more, it would seem.

"As we are to you, My Lady," Lancelot smiled affectionately.

They agreed and adjourned the meeting.

“Princess Morgana,” Arthur said, as she rose to leave. “Would you join me in my chambers later for a private lunch?”

“Of course, Sire,” she curtsied, then took her leave.

Gwen followed behind her, exchanging a concerned look with Arthur.

“He’s worried. Frankly, I am too,” Gwen frowned. She stopped talking when Morgana’s new ladies’ maid walked in to bring fresh linens. They waited for her to finish, then resumed their conversation.

“Morgana, from what you’ve told me of your dreams of your sister, she’s the reason you turned to dark sorcery and the reason for your downfall.”

“But the difference is that I was motivated by my hatred for Uther and jealousy of Arthur. I don’t feel those things now. I forgave Uther and I love Arthur; he is my brother and my king.”

“What if she… turned your heart that way? Is that possible? To use sorcery to change a heart?”

Morgana frowned. “It’s possible, but I don’t believe that’s what happened, at least not originally. And while I’ve dreamed of her poisoning my mind, I’ve not dreamed it in a long time.”

“Perhaps not. But what if she takes drastic measures to turn you to her side now that you aren’t so easily persuaded?”

“What if we turn her to ours? Gwen, she’s my sister. I can’t give up on her.”

“I know. But, Morgana, I couldn’t love you any more than if you were my sister. I just want you to be safe.”

Morgana smiled and embraced her. “I will, Gwen. I’ll be here to celebrate your wedding, when we will truly be sisters.”

Gwen laughed. “Still holding out hope? Arthur’s barely spoken to me lately, I hardly think he’ll be proposing.”

“He’s been busy. Perhaps I can arrange more excuses for the two of you to spend time together.”

“And what of you and Merlin? Something’s happened, hasn’t it? I catch him staring at you lately, it makes me blush the look on his face. Oh, and now you’re blushing. It’s true, isn’t it?”

Morgana’s face was flushed just thinking of her sorcerer. “Oh, Gwen. It’s true. You mustn’t breathe a word of it though. I’m afraid how Arthur will take the news.”

“He is very protective of Merlin,” Gwen grinned.

“He’ll certainly think I’ve seduced him. Cast some love spell upon him,” she rolled her eyes.

“Well, I for one, am very happy for you both,” Gwen said. “Merlin’s a good man, you couldn’t ask for a better one.”

“I agree. I’ve waited so long…” Morgana said, again recalling her visions, sitting down to tell Gwen all about her new love affair.

. . .

Finally, it was time for Gwen to perform her duties, and Morgana to join her brother.

Merlin served them lunch, while Morgana tried not to pay him too much attention as they ate. Arthur had been rather quiet the entire time, and he looked rather agitated. Finally, she could take it no longer.

“Is everything all right? You don’t seem yourself,” she asked, concerned.

Arthur sighed deeply, and took a long sip of his wine, motioning to Merlin for another bottle. “Morgana, I wanted to discuss something very important with you. And there’s a chance you’ll be unhappy about my decision, but after a great deal of consideration, I believe it’s truly for the best.”

“Of course, Arthur. What is it?” she asked, brows furrowed.

“I have decided you’re to marry,” Arthur said, looking at her over his goblet of wine.

Merlin dropped the wine bottle he was holding onto the floor, which shattered.

“Merlin!” Arthur scolded. “Do be more careful.”

Morgana looked desperately at Merlin cleaning up the glass shards, unable to speak. She finally stammered out the question, “Who… who do you expect you are marrying me off to?”

“Well, considering the raucous Merlin is making over there, I’m guessing he wants it to be him,” Arthur answered casually, taking another drink of wine.

Merlin looked up, panicked, from where he was still cleaning the broken glass from the floor. They glanced at one another, eyes wide.

“The question is whether you truly want that as well. Because I can’t continue to allow my sister and my manservant to be sneaking around my castle having a go. It won’t stay a secret for much longer, considering how many people already know about it. So either you wed Merlin, or I suppose I need to marry you off to someone else to preserve what remains of your maidenly honor.”

“You mean it?” Morgana gasped. “You give us your blessing to wed?”

“I’d prefer it as soon as possible before you end up with a litter of illegitimate little Merlins roaming about my castle,” Arthur said, rolling his eyes and drinking more wine. He stood up to reach another bottle.

Morgana jumped up from the table to hug her brother before embracing Merlin.

“I told you before, Merlin, you can’t hide anything from me,” Arthur said, haughtily.

“How did you know?” Merlin asked, his arm around Morgana’s waist.

“Did you really think I’d let you meet Morgause without a guard?”

“And that guard ratted us out?” Merlin asked.

“That guard was me. And Lancelot as well,” Arthur said flatly. “We waited outside the cave after she left, but you stayed.”

Merlin turned pale. “So, you heard…”

“My manservant bedding my sister? Indeed.” Arthur practically growled at him. Merlin cringed. “If not for Lancelot intervening, you’d be missing a head right now.”

Merlin looked shamefaced.

“But instead we overheard more than just… that. I also heard that my sister wishes to wed my manservant who, turns out, is also a sorcerer,” Arthur revealed, a hint of venom to his voice.

Merlin looked pained, facing his betrayal of his king, and his friend. “Arthur, I’m sorry, I should have…”

Arthur held up a hand to stop him. “I know, I know, you would have told me eventually, or so I’m to believe. Turns out Lancelot also knew of your magic. He told me everything. That’s why we left. I needed time to process it, and Lancelot insisted I not return until I had, for fear of doing or saying the wrong thing and hurting my sister. Like choking the life from the idiot she’s in love with.”

Merlin winced.

“And he was right. I can’t deny it still hurts a great deal to know you’ve kept this secret from me, a secret Lancelot already knew, but he helped me understand why, and that I apparently owe you a great debt over these years. I lived my entire life under Uther’s view of sorcery, and never knew anything else. But two of the people closest to me are sorcerers, using their magic for good, so how can I continue to prohibit the use of magic?”

Tears streamed down Morgana’s face. “You truly mean that?”

Arthur looked at his sister tenderly and wiped the tears off her cheeks. “I mean it, I wrote the edict this morning. Magic is being legalized today.”

Morgana gasped and hugged him tightly. “Thank you,” she choked down another sob and buried her face in his chest. “You don’t know what this means to me. What this will mean for Camelot.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, over Morgana’s head of dark waves. “If you ever hurt my sister, I will have you executed.”

“I will light the pyre myself, Sire,” Merlin grinned.

Arthur sighed, “I can’t believe my sister is marrying the worst servant in Camelot. Hopefully you’ll be better suited for Court duties.”

“Merlin will be brilliant as Court Sorcerer,” Morgana beamed, looking up at her brother.

“He’d also excel as a Fool,” he rolled his eyes. “He’ll need a noble title. Duke of somesuch, I suppose. We’ll need to consult the Court Historian to find available titles.”

“I… don’t care about any of it. As long as we can wed,” Merlin said. “I love Morgana, her title and position are irrelevant to me.”

“I certainly hope not, because marrying her comes with duties to Camelot you’ll have to fulfill. Preferably better than how you perform as a servant, which is complete rubbish,” Arthur shook his head disapprovingly.

Merlin laughed. “I will serve in any capacity, so long as I can be her husband.”

Arthur kissed his sister on the forehead and stepped away from her. He looked at Merlin and sighed.

“Merlin, once I can stand to look at you again without wanting to choke the life from you, which I’ll admit wasn’t very often in the first place, I do have questions that Lancelot could not answer. In due time, I will seek those answers from you, and I expect complete honesty from now on.”

“Of course, Arthur. I will never lie to you again,” Merlin said, tears stinging his eyes.

“Despite the fact that you’ve lied to me all these years and I’m furious with you, I do know the kind of man you are, and the kind of friend you’ve been. While there were many lies, I know what’s true in your heart, or else you’d be in the dungeon right now rather than betrothed to my sister. I can’t say I am thrilled about all of this, but,” Arthur closed his eyes and sighed again, “If I’m being honest, and if you tell anyone this I’ll simply deny it… while I don’t feel it at the moment… oh, to hell with it. Merlin, I suppose I will eventually not hate to have you as my brother,” Arthur said, begrudgingly.

Merlin hugged him tightly. “Same here, Sire.” Arthur groaned, and Morgana laughed at Arthur’s discomfort.

“Come, my love, give Arthur some breathing room,” Morgana said.

“Yes, go on then. You have a wedding to plan. Might as well make the announcement when your sister arrives. Lots of sorcerers everywhere, what could be better? Oh and Merlin, training awaits in an hour’s time. If you’re to be a nobleman, I’ll expect you to train like one. I won’t be holding back,” he said with a grin that Merlin took to mean he still had some pent up anger to deal with. Merlin winced at the thought. It was better than getting burned at the stake, he supposed. Morgana rolled her eyes and led him from the room, sending in another servant to clear the table.

Once they were in the empty hallway outside her chambers, Merlin kissed her passionately. “I love you,” he said, smiling against her lips.

“And I love you. Come inside, we have an engagement to celebrate,” she said, kissing him again.

They were still kissing as she pushed open her chamber doors. Her new ladies’ maid gave a squeak at the sight of them.

“It’s quite all right, Sefa. We’re not acting improperly, we’re betrothed,” Morgana explained. “But we aren’t announcing it until my sister arrives in Camelot. In the meantime, we will have a great deal of arrangements to make for the wedding. Please go to town and schedule a fitting with the dressmaker, but keep everything a secret.”

Sefa curtsied. “Yes, Milady.”

Gwen entered just as Sefa exited. “What have you two done to poor Sefa? She looks like she’s seen a ghost.”

“I merely told her to schedule an appointment with the dressmaker to prepare for my wedding,” Morgana said nonchalantly. Merlin was flushed and grinning.

“Wedding?” Gwen asked with shock. “Are you two…? Oh, my heavens! I can’t believe it!” She hugged Morgana tightly, then Merlin.

“How ever did you convince Arthur?” she asked, dabbing her wet eyes.

“It was his idea, actually,” Merlin said with a sheepish grin.

“Apparently we aren’t as good at keeping secrets as we thought,” Morgana laughed.

“Speaking of which, Gwen,” Merlin said, hesitantly. “You know how Morgana has magic, right?”

“Right. I assumed you knew all along, since Gaius did,” Gwen said.

“I didn’t just know. I helped her learn to wield it.”

“How could you do that? Unless you’re some kind of… oh,” Gwen said, with realization. “You also have magic.”

“Yeah, and now Arthur knows that too. He… overheard us,” Merlin cringed.

“And he wasn’t angry?” Gwen asked.

“Oh, I believe he was quite angry, but fortunately Lancelot was with him and did damage control. Otherwise you’d be planning my funeral instead,” Merlin sighed.

“Lancelot is a good friend,” Gwen smiled. “So, when is the wedding?”

“As soon as we can make arrangements, so we’ve got a lot of work to do,” Morgana answered.

Gwen looked suddenly very stressed. “Indeed. As your dress is being scheduled, I will start by meeting with the kitchens. Merlin, I will find a manservant to replace your duties with the king. In the meantime, you will also need a new wardrobe, I’ll schedule your fitting. We’ll work quickly and get this done. Oh, I’m so thrilled for you both.”

“Thanks, Gwen,” Merlin grinned, as she hugged him and then Morgana.

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone then,” Gwen laughed and closed the door behind her. Morgana locked it with a flick of her wrist.

“I believe we have an engagement to celebrate,” she said, using magic to unlace her dress, sliding her gown off her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. Merlin immediately grew hard.

“I can’t believe my good fortune, to love you and have you love me in return,” he said, burying his face into her hair as he embraced her.

“How could I not love you?” she smiled.

He held her tightly. “You almost didn’t. It was your bravery, not mine, that led us here. I would’ve made a mess of everything. But now, here we are, I’ve never been happier. I’m marrying the woman I love, and Arthur is bringing magic back to Camelot.”

“I am certain the future can only be perfect from here,” she said, as he lifted her into his arms and carried her to her bed.


	19. Chapter 19

“Arthur?” Gwen knocked softly before opening the door. Arthur was sitting at his writing desk, flipping through some documents. Her throat caught a little at the sight of him, his shirt slightly opened, his hair tousled, his brow furrowed.

“Gwen,” he looked up at her, and smiled. “Come in.”

He gestured for her to have a seat by the desk. “I wanted to check in on you, I just heard the good news.”

He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know that ‘good’ is the word I would use. _Merlin_ is to be my brother-in-law.”

She laughed. “They’ve loved one another for so long, they just took a while to realize. I’m happy for them.”

He nodded. “Yes, and now I have to make Merlin a nobleman. Oh, and Court Sorcerer, apparently. Did they tell you that bit? That Merlin’s a bloody sorcerer?” His teeth clenched saying the word ‘sorcerer.’

“What better match for a sorcer_ess_, I suppose?” Gwen said. “How was it? Finding out, I mean. Merlin said you’d overheard them?”

“Ah, yes, in a cave after they parted ways with Morgause. Lancelot and I watched her leave, and waited for Morgana and Merlin to leave the cave, but they didn’t. After awhile, we became concerned that she’d done something to them both, so finally we left our cover and approached the cave. That’s when we heard…”

Gwen furrowed her brows and waited for him to continue.

“We heard… Merlin… and Morgana… you know,” he flushed slightly. “Merlin… bedding my sister!”

“Oh!” Gwen stifled a laugh with her hand. “Oh no, that’s terribly awkward.”

“It was disgusting, is what it was. I know Morgana has always enjoyed… toying… with men’s affections, and Merlin’s been lovesick for her since he showed up in Camelot, so I assumed that’s what it was, just a tryst, and would hardly be poor hapless Merlin’s idea. Obviously disgusting, but should be none of my concern what Morgana does in her free time, so long as she’s discreet about it. I’m not my father. My father would have had him beheaded. Anyway, when we’d approached the cave, they had just… finished…,” he shuddered in disgust. “And that’s when we heard their conversation.”

_“…I don’t want to leave your embrace,” they heard Merlin say. Arthur made silent gagging gestures at Lancelot, who rolled his eyes and shook his head, grinning. They were turning to leave the cave entrance when they heard Morgana’s voice._

_"_ _This is why we must tell Arthur soon. I don’t want to wait any longer to be with you, to be wed.”_

_Arthur tripped over a tree root and nearly fell on his face, before Lancelot caught him._

_T_ _o be wed to the princess of Camelot,” Merlin continued. “You’re much more than I’d ever hoped for in life.”_

_Arthur shook his head. No. Absolutely not, this was not happening. But what he heard next nearly stopped his heart._

_“You’re the greatest sorcerer in history, surely you had high aspirations?” _

_No. He didn’t just hear that. He looked over at Lancelot who sighed deeply. He must have heard wrong._

_“Surely when you imagined your life, you didn’t imagine being wed to a sorcerer who is also your brother’s manservant?”_

_He didn’t mishear that time. Merlin was a sorcerer._

_He felt the rage building in his chest, and without thinking, he began to draw his sword. Lancelot caught his arm and shook his head frantically, before pulling him back behind the cover of the trees. Arthur struggled against him, but Lancelot had him firmly in his grip and wrestled him to the ground, with a hand over his mouth. _

_Arthur shook with anger, watching Morgana and Merlin mount their horses. Sorcerer. Merlin was a sorcerer all this time, and he’d lied to him. And not just any sorcerer. The greatest sorcerer in history? His manservant? Awkward, clumsy, rather stupid Merlin? His friend Merlin? Had lied to him for years? His eyes stung with tears. Stupid. He’d been so stupid. And now he’s seduced his sister. To what end? To wed his only heir? Was he a threat? Was he going to try to take his crown? He needed to take care of this now, he needed to…_

_"Arthur!” Lancelot said sharply. “I know how betrayed you must feel, but he has always wanted to tell you about his magic, he just never wanted to come between you and your father.”_

_"_ _You knew?” Arthur said incredulously, the hurt in his voice apparent as he pushed himself out of Lancelot’s grip. “You knew and didn’t tell me?” he accused. He punched Lancelot square in the jaw, knocking him to the ground. _

_Lancelot groaned, holding his jaw as he stood back up. “He didn’t intend to confide in me. I found out by accident, when I first came to Camelot.”_

_“Who else knows?” Arthur demanded, his entire body trembling in rage._

_“Morgana, obviously. Gaius as well. His mother, of course, and a few from his village.”_

_“Gwen?” he asked._

_“I don’t believe so, no.”_

_Arthur exhaled with relief. At least there was still someone he cared about that wasn’t hiding secrets from him. He paced the grounds without speaking but highly agitated, Lancelot watching him with a nervous eye. Finally, Arthur came to a stop and turned suddenly back to him._

_“Okay. Okay, I understand not telling me when he first arrived, but was he ever going to tell me? My father’s been dead for months!” Arthur said, starting to sound more hurt than angry._

_“Since you found out about Morgana’s magic, he was planning on it. He wanted to give you space to figure out what to do about magic users in Camelot,” Lancelot said. “And he didn’t want to add to your pain since your father died.”_  
  
“Father would have had him executed,” he said, frowning. 

_“Which is why he never wanted to put you in the position of having to lie for him. He hated it enough that Gaius and I had to. Morgana, of course, has been hiding her own magic for years since it manifested.”_

_“That’s what she left out of her story, that didn’t quite make sense… where did she even learn magic from? She said from books, but she learned from Merlin, didn’t she? She called him the ‘greatest sorcerer who ever lived.’”_

_“And Gaius, yes. When she began having visions, she discovered Merlin’s magic. I gathered they’d gotten rather close as a result. I could tell when I returned to Camelot. They steal secret glances when they think no one else is looking.”_

_“You knew about their relationship too?” Arthur accused, getting angry again._

_“No, no, I had no idea they were… um… consummating… their affections. I could just tell there was something there that hadn’t been when I left Camelot. Obviously something developed while I was gone.”_

_“I should have known. I’ve known it for years, his infatuation with her. My sister! And he wants to wed her! Become my brother-in-law! And if I were to die without issue, he would become the king consort. Merlin! King! Can you even imagine it?” Arthur said in horror. _

_Lancelot laughed. “Well, then, I suppose you’d better get started on making some new heirs.” _

_Arthur frowned. “Speaking of which…”_

_Lancelot smiled sadly. “I know you love Gwen. I love her too. But she doesn’t love me, not the way she loves you at least. I can’t compete for her affections, and I wouldn’t dream of it, not against my king and friend.”_

_“If there is already something between you…”_

_“There isn’t, not any more. There might have been, could have been, if I had stayed in Camelot. But my pride and ambition got in the way of that.”_

_“My father’s prejudice got in the way of that.”_

_“Well, it’s led to his son finding his queen,” Lancelot said. “Come, let’s check back in with the guard, and then spend the night in the tavern. I think you need a night or maybe two to process this before you face your sister and your new brother-in-law.”_

_“My brother-in-law!” Arthur groaned miserably. “Sire to a dozen little Merlins, calling me Uncle, and setting my castle on fire with their minds. Is there no way to undo this travesty? Never! I won’t allow it!”_

_Lancelot laughed. “You’ll grow used to it, the magic.”_

_“Honestly, the idiot’s magic is the least of my concerns at this point. King Merlin! Bloody hell!” he said miserably. _

_They drank themselves into a stupor at the tavern, Arthur continuing to lament the many horrors of the situation of which he was now cursed. He alternated between angry and hurt, to empathy and understanding. Lancelot told him all of the stories he knew, of the times Merlin had saved them with his magic. Of the things Merlin had confided to him about his magic, about the guilt he felt hiding it from Arthur. He assured Arthur that lying to him was the worst thing Merlin had done. _

_By the morning, Lancelot was sleeping with his head on the table, and Arthur was emotionally and physically exhausted. He was finally resigned to the fact that, because he loved his sister, he had no choice but to allow her to wed his idiot servant, if that’s what she truly wanted. But how could he forgive Merlin for his betrayal? _

_Arthur paid for two rooms and they went to sleep the day away. Lancelot woke him up for supper, and then they traveled back to the castle. _

_“You… aren’t going to execute Merlin, are you?” Lancelot asked wearily as they approached the gate. _

_Arthur frowned. “Not yet anyway.”_

_When he woke up in the morning, he dressed himself and drafted a royal decree legalizing magic. When Merlin came to serve him breakfast, he handed him the sealed scroll and told him to deliver it to the clerk for publication that evening. It was all he could do to not punch Merlin in his stupid face. _

“Well, that explains why Lancelot has a bruised face,” she sighed.

“That’s your first concern? Lancelot’s pretty face?” Arthur scowled.

“Of course not,” she huffed.

“Perhaps you’d rather go ask Lancelot how he fares,” he grumbled.

“Perhaps I shall!” she said indignantly. “After all, I am a single woman, unattached from any promise.”

Arthur flushed. “That’s not… I didn’t mean… dammit,” he said, as she slammed the door on her way out, nearly catching on her long powder-blue gown. For Camelot’s most eligible bachelor, he was a real sod when it came to women.

He stood up and went after her, stopping her just in front of Morgana’s door. “Guinevere, I…”

They looked at each other in discomfort as moans emanated from Morgana’s room.

Arthur looked sick. “Can we talk somewhere away from… all of that?” he asked, gesturing wildly at the door.

She closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes, I think it best.”

He offered his arm, and they walked down the corridor to find privacy. They stopped at a balcony overlooking the courtyard.

Arthur sighed. “I apologize for being standoffish lately. But since bringing Lancelot back, I wasn’t sure, I just thought…”

Gwen frowned. “You thought my feelings for you would just disappear when Lancelot came back?”

“I didn’t want to pressure you to make a choice,” he admitted.

“But you haven’t given me a choice at all, Arthur. After the night of your coronation, after we…” she huffed. “You haven’t a moment of time for me since. Is that because you were busy or was it because Lancelot arrived the day after your coronation?”

He sighed. “I’m never too busy for you, Guinevere. It was that I saw how much you care for him, and…”

She cut him off. “And you thought I was just warming my bed with the King until the knight I truly loved returned?” she scowled at him. “Arthur, that’s absurd.”

“I love you enough to let you go. If you would rather be with Lancelot…,” he said, not finishing the sentence. He looked out over the courtyard, his elbows on the ledge, not wanting to see the truth in her eyes.

She sighed, looking at him with exasperation. “No, I wouldn’t. Yes, I once loved Lancelot, but that time has passed. He left Camelot, he didn’t invite me to go with him, and I’ll admit, at the time, I was tempted to go anyway. I do not regret my choice; my home is here, with my friends and my brother. And you. Time healed that loss, and I came to love you instead.”

“Are you certain, Guinevere? Do you truly want to be with me and not Lancelot?” he asked, turning his head to look at her, his expression hopeful.

“Yes, Arthur. I love only you,” she said firmly.

He turned to face her, taking her hands in his. “Then marry me.”

“You’re serious?” she asked, shocked.

“Absolutely. We’ll marry after Morgana and… _Merlin_… do,” he shook off his disgust, and dropped to one knee before her. “Guinevere, will you do me the honor of marrying me? Be my Queen?”

“Okay,” she said, shyly. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

He grinned and swept her into his embrace.

“Let’s not upstage Morgana’s wedding though, okay?” she said, kissing him. “She’s waited for this for so very long.”

He sighed. “Very well, I suppose you’re right. We’ll wait to make the announcement until after they’ve wed,” he said, kissing her again.

“A secret engagement? How mysterious and romantic,” Gwen grinned, kissing him again.

. . .

That night, Merlin was roused from his sleep by Kilgharrah.

“It is time, Warlock,” the dragon flapped. “I have done all you asked, and now you must free me.”

“Okay. But when I release you, you won’t harm Camelot. Uther is dead, the time for revenge has passed. Arthur is bringing magic back, and next we’ll work on uniting Albion under his rule. You have no quarrel with him nor Camelot any longer. Morgana says that dragons will return as well.”

“Your mate speaks what I hope is the truth. You have my word, as my kin. To reward your efforts, I shall bring a message to your father that it is safe to return to Camelot.”

“Your kin? My father?” Merlin asked, stunned. “What do you know of my father?”

“That is not my story to tell, Warlock. Now. Release me,” he roared.

Merlin struck the chain with Excalibur, and watched as the Great Dragon flew off into the night sky.

Merlin suddenly had a lot of questions he needed answered.


	20. Chapter 20

“Dragonlords?” Merlin repeated. “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

Gaius sighed, fidgeting with his mortar and pestle. “There were once men who could talk to the dragons, tame them.”

“What happened to them?” Merlin asked.

“Uther happened to them,” Morgana said, pained. She squeezed his hand comfortingly.

“Uther believed that the art of the dragonlord was too close to magic. So he had them all rounded up and slaughtered,” Gaius explained, still pacing the floor of his laboratory in front of his young ward and his future bride.

“And my father is a dragonlord? Why did no one ever tell me?” he said, becoming agitated.

Gaius stopped shuffling across the floor, to look him in the eye. “I wanted to. Your mother feared it would be too dangerous. She wanted to protect you.”

“No. I had a right to know,” Merlin said, visibly hurt by their secrets.

“Of course you did, my boy. But just like hiding the truth about your magic from Arthur, the secret was kept to protect both you and your father. I helped him, helped Balinor, escape. Your mother took him in.”

“She stood up against Uther?” Merlin said, in awe.

“Yes,” Gaius replied.

“She was brave,” he said, looking at Morgana with a teary smile.

“Much like her son,” she said, and kissed him gently.

Gaius shook his head, still not having processed that his ward was to wed the Crown Princess of Camelot. “She was very brave. When Uther discovered where Balinor was, he sent knights to Ealdor to hunt him down. He was forced to flee.”

“And now, he’s still out there? The dragon will send him home?” Morgana asked.

“It would seem so. Now it’s safe for him to return to Camelot. You’ll meet your father, at last, Merlin,” Gaius smiled.

Merlin nodded, looking a bit dazed. Gaius took his leave to attend to his patients in town.

“You’ll meet your father,” Morgana repeated, and smiled. “My future father-in-law, the dragonlord. Wait, does that make you a dragonlord, as well?”

Merlin look dazed. “I guess we’ll soon find out.”

“Come, my love, you’d better get to the training yard, lest Arthur be angry.” Morgana gestured at the door.

“Please don’t stay and watch again, it’s humiliating,” he groaned. “He’s forbidden me from using magic to spar, so he just beats on me. He hits quite hard too!”

Morgana grinned suddenly. “He forbade you from using magic, but he said nothing of me.”

“Oh no, you’ll just get me in worse trouble,” he cringed.

“Just enough to keep you off the ground, nothing that Arthur could detect, I promise. Besides, I can’t have you battered and bruised again tonight,” she said seductively in his ear.

He groaned, pulling her close. “Forget tonight. Do we have time right now?”

“Not unless you want Arthur even more angry with you,” she laughed, giving him a quick kiss. “Come on.”

. . .

Morgana watched as Merlin gripped the practice sword tightly, ducking behind the practice shield. She would need to do some instruction with him herself, she mused. His footwork could use a lot of assistance. All of him could use a lot of assistance.

Even with her magical intervention, Merlin still ended up on the ground for the majority of their sparring, and she could tell Arthur was still holding back. By the end of the practice session, he was pretty beat up, although considerably less so than he had been the day before.

“Merlin, I think you slightly improved. Which means you’re still absolutely terrible,” Arthur said, walking away with a grin.

“Thank you, Sire,” he said, still on his back on the grass.

Lancelot offered him a hand with a laugh. “My friend, please don’t take offense, but I don’t think your talents lie in swordplay.”

“No, they certainly do not,” Merlin huffed, brushing the dirt off himself once he was back on his feet. “It hurt a lot less when all I had to do was hold a shield.”

“Not every man’s a fighter, Merlin. Turns out you were a lover all this time,” Gwaine said, turning to bow to Morgana with a smirk. She rolled her eyes good-humoredly and curtsied, then returned to the castle, leaving Merlin to the mercy of the Knights of Camelot.

“I still can’t believe you’re marrying Arthur’s sister. It’s a little weird, Merlin,” Elyan said.

“Why is it weird?” Merlin asked, afraid to know the answer.

“Marrying Arthur’s sister would be like… well… like if Arthur married my sister. I can’t imagine thinking about them… you know…” Elyan said, making gagging sounds.

Merlin laughed nervously. “Yeah, weird.”

“Weird for Arthur, but isn’t it weirder for Merlin? Do you think about Arthur when your head is buried under his sister’s skirts?” Gwaine said, as the rest of the knights laughed uproariously.

Merlin groaned. “Oh no, that’s just not even a bit okay…”

“Let poor Merlin be. Save it for the stag party,” Leon said with a chuckle, shaking his head at the unruly knights.

“I just realized. Elyan and I are leaving with Agravaine at the end of the week. We won’t miss your stag party, will we?” Percival asked.

“Not if we hold it tomorrow night,” Lancelot suggested, clapping Merlin on the back. “I’ll go tell Arthur the plans.”

Merlin groaned again but he knew there would be no talking them out of a night at the tavern.

. . .

The Knights were already well into their cups by the time Merlin arrived.

“Merlin!” Elyan shouted! “It’s about time! What took you so long? Let me get you a drink!”

“Until Arthur finds a replacement, I’m still on duty as his manservant. He’s made the job especially… challenging… lately,” Merlin said to Lancelot, as Elyan had already staggered away.

“Why not just use magic to finish the tasks?” Lancelot asked.

“I don’t think Arthur’s very comfortable with my magic at the moment. Or me marrying his sister and joining his Court,” he sighed, looking over at Arthur playing dice across the room.

“He will accept you. He has accepted you. He wouldn’t allow you to marry his sister if he hadn’t. With time, he’ll forgive you entirely,” he said, taking the drink from Elyan and putting it into Merlin’s hands. “Now, drink, friend. Tonight we celebrate.”

“Tonight we celebrate,” Merlin said with a grin, taking a swig of his ale.

By the end of the evening, most of them were quite intoxicated, singing drinking songs and losing their coins at dice. Several of the Knights had gone to flirt with girls in the tavern, leaving Merlin and Arthur alone by the hearth.

“I’m glad you came tonight, Arthur,” Merlin slurred. “It means a lot.”  
  
“I didn’t have much of a choice, it’s my future brother-in-law’s stag party, after all,” he said, gesturing for another round.

“It’s not just that. I would want you here even if it wasn’t your sister I was marrying,” Merlin said, turning his mug upside down, confused as to why it was empty.

Arthur took the empty mug and placed a fresh one in front of him. “And I would be, and would probably feel much more enthusiastic about being here, if you weren’t marrying my sister.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here. Because you’re my friend,” he said, taking another swig.

Arthur sighed. “I consider you a friend too, Merlin. I just wish you’d told me about your magic instead of hiding it from me.”

“I do too,” he said, looking down into his mug. “I was just afraid. I’m a bit of a coward, you see.”

“That I already knew,” Arthur smirked.

“I am. It’s true. Not afraid of dangerous stuff, but how others would see me if they knew the truth, especially you. If it wasn’t for Morgana, I would have made some really big mistakes. I wouldn’t have told her about my magic either. She would have been alone and afraid, and she would have turned away from us, away from me. She would have destroyed Camelot, and in the end…” he frowned.

“Morgana told me,” Arthur said, his brow furrowed.

“She’s so brave,” Merlin said wistfully. “And clever, and beautiful, and she smells nice,” he hiccupped and continued. “Her magic is powerful and she wields it with a confidence I’ve never had. And if it wasn’t for her, we’d have never… I would never have…” he flushed, taking another drink.

“Oh, I’m fully aware of who seduced whom. I’m no fool, Merlin. I don’t begrudge you falling for her charms, either. Yes, of course, she’s a beautiful woman, and for some unknown reason she wants you. I don’t blame you at all. In fact, I didn’t think you had it in you,” Arthur laughed.

“I tried to resist, I did. But I couldn’t help it, she’s very convincing. I just love her so much,” Merlin said, getting weepy.

“She obviously loves you too,” Arthur said, shaking his head and taking another swig of ale.

Merlin smiled, his vision blurry. He blinked several times trying to make sense of the image in front of him, over Arthur’s shoulder, when it finally clicked. He raised his hand and his eyes flickered to gold as he commanded “Swefe nu!” at the figure in front of him. The man immediately slumped down to the floor, the dagger he’d been about to throw still gripped in his hand.

“Merlin!” Arthur said, as Merlin passed out, his head hitting the table.

“Sire, are you unharmed?” Lancelot said, his sword in hand, pulled when he caught sight of the would-be assassin.

“Yes, actually. Merlin, somehow, caught sight of the man and knocked him out,” Arthur said. “He saved my life, even completely drunk.”

“Merlin has a habit of that,” Lancelot smiled, sheathing his sword. “I think it’s time he goes home. I’ll take care of our new prisoner.”

Arthur nodded and, pulling Merlin out of his chair, threw him over his shoulder, leaving the tavern.

Arthur hauled Merlin up the stairs to his room, briefly knocking before entering. Inside he found Morgana working diligently with Gaius on a potion.

“Oh, Arthur, really, what have you done to my betrothed?” Morgana scolded, although her eyes twinkled with amusement. Gaius shook his head and sighed in exasperation, taking the herbs from her. She wiped her hands on her apron and hung it up on a hook before following behind her brother.

“Your betrothed can’t hold his drink,” Arthur rolled his eyes. “But the idiot did manage to save my life just before he passed out.”

“Oh?” she said, helping Arthur tuck him into bed.

“A knife-throwing assassin. Merlin hit him with some magic, and then the ale hit Merlin,” he said, pulling off Merlin’s boots.

Morgana looked at him with concern. “Another attempt by Odin?”

“We’ll find out more when the prisoner awakes. Lancelot took him to the dungeon,” he said. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“I’m glad Merlin was there to stop him,” she said, hugging Arthur suddenly. “I don’t know what I would do if you…”

He kissed her head. “I’ll be fine. That’s what I have my Court Sorceress for anyway, don’t I? One of the two finest healers in the kingdom.”

“I can’t heal every wound, you know. So be careful,” she said, pulling away.

“Always. Can you manage this idiot on your own?” he said, gesturing to Merlin.

“Of course. And I can cure his hangover in the morning, he’ll be up in time to resume his regular duties,” she smiled. “Thank you for going tonight, it meant a lot to him.”

“I know.”

“He loves you very much, in fact, I do think he might love you more than me,” Morgana said.

Arthur cringed. “I should certainly hope not. But yes, I know full well his devotion. And, Morgana, I wouldn’t let you marry him if I didn’t think him worthy of you.”

She smiled. “He is.”

He nodded. “You’ll be a beautiful bride, I’m truly happy for you.”

“Thank you,” she said. “And when are you going to finally ask Gwen to marry you?”

“Morgana,” he rolled his eyes. “How about you get married first?”

“Fair enough,” she said with a smirk.

“Get some sleep, don’t stay up all night nursing this idiot. He’s still technically Gaius’s problem for a few more months.”

She smiled. “Good night.”

She pulled a blanket over Merlin, and kissed his forehead tenderly.

. . .

Merlin woke with a tremendous headache and an urge to empty both his bladder and the contents of his stomach. Next to him on the table was a glass of water and a vial of potion with a note from Morgana that said, “Drink me.” It may have tasted like toad but it immediately cured his symptoms.

_Thank you_, he projected.

“You’re welcome,” she said, entering his room. “I brought you some breakfast.”

“It isn’t bad enough you’re marrying a servant, now you’re becoming one?” he raised his eyebrows at the tray she carried.

“Hush, or I’ll eat it all myself,” she scolded.

He raised his hands in surrender and dug in to the plate of sausages and potatoes now that his hangover had been cured.

She finally decided she couldn’t wait any longer. “Merlin, I need to know, that assassin last night. Was he one of Odin’s?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know, I barely remember him, just saw the knife and cast the only spell I could remember in such an inebriated state. He’s lucky he only went to sleep and didn’t end up on fire.”

“Lancelot already interrogated him, and hasn’t gotten any answers. Leon is going to try again later today.”

“I’m sure they’ll find out. And even if I hadn’t gotten the guy, Lancelot was already moving towards him, sword in hand. He would have gotten to him before he hurt Arthur. It was fine.”

“That’s what Arthur said. But I’m concerned. Odin already killed Uther, but he wasn’t his target, Arthur was. I think I should kill Odin and put an end to this.”

Merlin shook his head until he could swallow. “You aren’t a killer.”

“I really am though,” she said.

“In self-defense,” he said, taking another forkful.

“This is in self-defense,” her eyes darkened.

“What does Arthur say?” he said, with a mouthful of potato.

She pursed her lips. “He’s against it.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

She frowned. “I can’t just do nothing.”

He wiped his mouth on the napkin and turned to look at her. “You aren’t doing nothing. You’re protecting Arthur here. You’re protecting Camelot. You are a powerful sorceress and Odin is no match for you, for all of us. Stay here, with me. Keep me safe,” he smiled, burying his head into her dark hair.

“You’re ridiculous,” she said, with a laugh.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, pulling her in for a kiss.

She pulled away. “And you taste of stale beer and sausage, and smell of a tavern. Finish your breakfast and go wash. Gwen is bringing Arthur his breakfast, but you’ll need to go help His Majesty put his royal trousers on soon.”

He sighed. “When does the new manservant start?”

“Beginning of next week, you’ll have to train him though,” she said, walking out the door with a swish of her skirts.

“Thank you for breakfast!” he called after her.

_You’re welcome, my love. _

. . .

“Good morning, Sire!” Merlin shouted chipperly as he barged in to Arthur’s room. He saw Gwen jump back from Arthur and grinned at them.

“Sorry to interrupt. I’ll come back,” he said, turning to leave.

“That won’t be necessary, Merlin, I must be on my way,” Gwen said shyly, as she quickly exited.

“Apologies, Sire,” Merlin said as Gwen closed the door.

“It’s fine, it’s not like we’re off having a go in some cave,” Arthur said, rolling his eyes.

Merlin flushed and cleared his throat.

Arthur saw the expression on his face and laughed. “Merlin, relax, don’t look so tormented.”

Merlin smiled sheepishly, and started to collect Arthur’s laundry.

“I, uh, wanted to say, your magic was quite useful last night. Taking out the assassin. That was good work,” Arthur said.

Merlin smiled. “Thank you, Sire.”

“It’s the first time I’ve seen you use magic. Your eyes change color, like Morgana’s do. So, how is it you’ve managed to use magic over the years but never be detected? Lancelot said you’ve saved my life, saved Camelot, on numerous occasions.”

Merlin laughed. “Well, normally it’s more subtle than that, but I was quite drunk and that was the best I could come up with.”

“So how does it go normally?” Arthur asked. “How have you hidden your magic so well?”

Merlin shrugged. “No one notices a servant, not really. If during a fight I duck behind some trees and redirect a few arrows and daggers, and cause a few well-timed tree branches to fall, who’s to say that’s magic and not just bad aim and coincidence?”

“And how often has bad aim and coincidence befallen enemies of Camelot?”

“Not in every skirmish, just when I see there’s a chance of you getting seriously hurt. I tried to use my magic sparingly, since I know how you feel about magic, and especially how your father felt about it.”

Arthur nodded. “When was the first time you used magic to save my life?”

“The same as the first time I saved your life, the banquet with the witch posing as the singer, Lady Helen.”

“The chandelier fell on her,” Arthur remembered. “So, you dropped that on her, then. It didn’t just happen to fall.”

“Ah, yes, a coincidence,” Merlin grinned. “My reflexes are not that quick, I also had to slow her dagger down to pull you out of its path.”

“Huh,” Arthur said. “Lancelot said you helped him slay the Griffin.”

“He slayed it. I gave his sword a bit of extra strength is all.”

“And in tournaments? Were you helping me then?”

“Definitely not, you’ve not needed the help. Oh, well, other than revealing those snakes on that one knight’s shield, what was he called?”

“Valliant.”

“Yes, yes, Valliant. I found a spell to make his snakes pop out early, before they popped out and bit your face when Valliant had his shield against you and it couldn’t be seen. But you certainly could have beaten him on your own otherwise. You needed no help, just against his fatal cheating scheme.”

“I believe I sacked you over the accusations.”

“Yeah, you always were a bit of a prat,” Merlin grinned.

Arthur shook his head. “But what about normally? Did you rig the tournaments?”

“Of course not. Frankly, I’d have been happy to see you knocked down a peg or two, I wouldn’t help you cheat. My job is to keep you safe, not feed your ego. That’s plenty fat enough,” he rolled his eyes.

Arthur gave him a dirty look.

“Okay, another question,” Arthur frowned. “Could you have saved my father?”

Merlin was taken aback. “Oh. I, uh, I might have been able to, yes.”

“Could Morgana have?”

“I don’t know. Her power is strong and she’s an excellent healer, but I’ve been using magic my whole life. She’s still developing her power. Saving him would have required very intricate magic because of where the wound was. A lot of internal damage that would have been difficult to repair. I have faith in her, but it would have been very complex. I understand her hesitation. Getting it wrong would have caused him unnecessary suffering.”

“Would you have saved my father if I had asked you?”

“I certainly would have tried had you wanted me to do so. I know how much you loved him. Morgana too. She wasn’t wrong though. He wouldn’t have wanted to be saved by magic, he despised it.”

“So my father might still be alive if only you’d told me about your magic long ago?” Arthur accused, the hurt apparent on his face.

“No,” Merlin said, his expression mirroring Arthur’s. “Because if I’d told you about my magic, I would’ve been lucky to just be banished from Camelot, instead of beheaded like the son of the witch who posed as Lady Helen.”

Arthur flinched. “I would never…”

“No, don’t say it,” Merlin said, blinking back angry tears. “Because you don’t know. You honestly couldn’t know. Because maybe you would have turned me over to be executed, or maybe you would have just told me to leave Camelot forever, but the idea that you would have chosen me and my secret over your own father… I don’t think you would have, I honestly don’t, and even so, I wouldn’t have let you. It would have eaten you up inside to lie to him. I would have gone the way of Lancelot, hoping that someday when you were king, you might accept me when your father would not, and then how was I supposed to protect you?”

Arthur didn’t say anything, just looked at him shamefaced.

“Morgana felt the same way. She wanted to tell you, she hated keeping it secret from you too, it tore her up inside, but she didn’t want to put you in that position. And even as Uther’s ward, as Uther’s secret daughter, we couldn’t be sure she was any less likely to end up on the executioner’s block. She’s at least your sister, we knew you would protect her from Uther if you found out. But me? I’m just nobody,” Merlin said, furiously wiping at his eyes.

“You aren’t nobody! You’re my friend!” Arthur exclaimed, hurt. “And I’m sorry!”

Merlin looked at him in shock.

He took a shaky breath. “I mean it. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend. You couldn’t confide in me, because you couldn’t trust me,” Arthur said. “I understand why you didn’t tell me. I wish it had been different, but I understand why it wasn’t.”

“I wish it had been too,” Merlin said, quietly.

“Why did you stay all this time then? Hiding your magic in plain sight while you worked as my manservant. Because the dragon told you to? Because of the prophecy?”

“At first, yes. But I stayed because you’re my friend,” he said, firmly.

Arthur looked long and hard at him before answering. “I am your friend.”

Merlin nodded and whispered. “Thank you.”

“No, Merlin. Thank you,” Arthur said.

Merlin grabbed him and pulled him into a hug, and Arthur gave only a small groan of displeasure.

They both looked up at the knock on the open door and jumped apart. “Arthur, it’s time for Court,” Morgana said, with Gwen beside her, both with eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Yes, well, let’s get on with it then,” Arthur said, clearing his throat.

Morgana slipped her arm affectionately into her brother’s and they walked down the hall, with Gwen and Merlin following behind.


	21. Chapter 21

_His Majesty, Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot, invites you to the Marriage of Her Royal Highness, Princess Morgana, to His Grace, Merlin, Duke of Cornwall…_

Morgana and Merlin sent the official wedding invitation to Hunith, along with a personal letter explaining how this had all come to pass. Hunith had long known her son’s affections for Uther’s ward, ever since the fierce young woman had come to their aid to defend Ealdor. It would come as no surprise her son would wish to marry the Princess; however, that he was permitted to do so by the new king, and was elevated to such a high status, Merlin felt would be quite shocking.

Nearly two weeks later, just before their official engagement announcement and celebration, they received word that Merlin’s mother would arrive at the end of the season in time for the wedding. However, there had been no word from Merlin’s father. Merlin was full of anxious energy, wondering when, or perhaps even if, his father would arrive in Camelot. He worried what Balinor would be like and Morgana, who never saw him in her visions, had no guidance for him. Gaius was tight-lipped as usual, and it was possible his father would arrive before his mother. He wondered if he should have warned Hunith in his letter but, ultimately, he decided not to get her hopes up if his father never arrived. Assuming she even wanted to see him again, of course. Fortunately, the preparations for the upcoming banquet, their wedding, training a new manservant for Arthur, and learning to be a nobleman kept Merlin far too busy to spend much time ruminating on the unknown.

The days passed quickly, and as promised, Morgause came to Camelot. She had arrived on horseback the morning of Arthur’s announcement, with little fanfare. Morgana embraced her warmly, just before taking her place beside her brother.

Arthur stood before the Court, his crown shining upon his head, with Morgana standing beside him in an emerald green gown and a tiara to match. He took a deep breath before he began.

“It is my honor to restore justice in Camelot, by allowing those who practice magic to live freely once more. Sorcery is no longer a crime, nor shall it be reason for exclusion or banishment. Sorcerers who commit crimes shall be subject to the same laws and punishments as those without magic. But their craft may be practiced freely when harmless or when helpful, without interruption by the Crown or by our citizens alike. Every practitioner of magic, so long as they obey the laws of Camelot, shall be treated as equals to non-magic users. That is my command.”

He scanned the crowd of faces before continuing. “For far too long, Camelot has done an injustice to the innocent among magic users, and those who associated with them. I have come to realize that it isn’t enough to simply stop executing sorcerers; in order to right the wrongs of the past, we need restorative justice. To that end, the Old Religion is once again embraced by Camelot. Its celebrations shall be recognized, and its practitioners given standing once again. Space shall be carved out in our communities for magic users to peacefully co-exist. And reparations shall be paid by the Crown to the survivors of those who have been wrongly executed or deprived of their lands and property.”

He took Morgana’s hand. “My own beloved sister, the Princess Morgana, has magic.” Some of the crowd murmured in surprise. “This is not a power she chose, but a gift given to her. She has used her power to save my life. She continues to use her power as a healer, to save the lives of our people. She is the very best of women, and the very best of magic. It is because of her that I understand the good that magic can bring. And it is for the love of her and her magical kinfolk, I am restoring magic to Camelot.”

He paused before continuing. “And because I love my sister so deeply, I have given her my blessing to choose her husband.”

Arthur looked at Merlin with resigned acceptance before continuing.

“She has chosen one of her people, a powerful sorcerer who has been with us all along, known to the Druids as Emrys. Who has used his magic to save my life, and the lives of all in Camelot, many times. Who willingly served, and used his gifts to benefit, those that would have executed him had he been discovered using magic. Who has been a true friend to me and servant of Camelot all these years.”

He gestured to Merlin to come forward. “Kneel,” he commanded. Merlin, dressed in finery befitting his new status, looked at Morgana, who had tears in her eyes, still clinging to her brother’s hand. Merlin kneeled before his king and his princess.

Arthur let go of Morgana’s hand to unsheathe his sword.

“Rise, Merlin, Duke of Cornwall, Sorcerer of the Court of Camelot, the betrothed of Her Royal Highness, Princess Morgana of Camelot,” Arthur said loudly to the Court.

The crowd erupted in cheers as he stood, and Morgana embraced him.

In the crowd, Morgause watched with a critical eye.

Arthur silenced the crowd with his hands. “We have a long way to go to make up for the harm my father and I did to those with magic. My sister and I pledge that no more harm shall come to any person within Camelot for practicing magic, and a new alliance begins with her marriage and the reestablishment of the position of Court Sorcerer. Tonight’s banquet shall be held in their honor, and for the welcoming of the Lady Morgause, sister to the Princess Morgana, to the Court of Camelot.” He gestured for her to come forward.

Morgause looked surprised at that description, but came forward, dropped the hood of her cloak from her hair, and after a moment of hesitation, curtsied stiffly to the King.

Once the crowd had dispersed, Morgana embraced her sister again. “Morgause, I’m so glad you’ve come.”

“Congratulations on your betrothal, Sister. How long has the fabled Emrys been living in disguise as Arthur’s manservant?” she asked, eyeing Merlin suspiciously, who was across the room being nervously congratulated by the other nobles.

“He’s been in Camelot for several years now, hiding in plain sight,” Morgana answered.

“And how long have you known he has magic?”

“Since I first discovered my power. It was he who helped me learn to wield my magic,” she smiled.

“So, this is a love match, and not Arthur’s doing? He’s not punishing you for your sorcery by making you wed his servant?” Morgause frowned.

Morgana smiled wistfully. “Oh, Sister. I’ve secretly loved Merlin for a long time. I was afraid Arthur would not give us his blessing to wed, so we had kept our love a secret for many weeks now, just as I kept my love a secret from Merlin for years to protect him from Uther. Once Uther was gone, I didn’t have to fear for Merlin’s life any longer, and I was free to love him without endangering him. And once Arthur discovered us, and discovered Merlin has magic, he gave us his blessing to wed, and to elevate Merlin’s status.”

“But to give him our father’s title?” Morgause asked, skeptical.

“That was my idea, since Father had no male heirs to take it, and there was no one left to claim it but us. My wedding gift from Arthur is that Tintagel Castle will be ours again and shall no longer sit empty. We intend to stay here with Arthur for the time being, so if you would like to make it your home, you are of course welcome.”

Morgause looked emotional for moment but quickly recovered. “I have no memory of the place.”

Morgana grabbed her sister’s hands in hers. “But I do. And our children will. Put aside the darkness of the past, Sister, and join with us in our future, one where our people are now free.”

She pulled her hands away from Morgana. “Do you really believe it that simple? Do you really think it was only one tyrant upon a throne that slaughtered our people?”

Morgana frowned. “It was when Uther outlawed magic…”

“You know nothing of our history, Sister. But I expect you’ll see it repeated,” Morgause said, turning and walking towards the door.

Morgana sighed, and followed her out, catching Merlin’s eye.

_Whatever is wrong, my love, we’ll find a way to fix it, _he told her, walking towards her.

She smiled at him gratefully, and took his arm.

. . .

At the banquet, Merlin spent a great deal of time talking to Morgause, for which Morgana was glad. He had many questions about the Old Religion, from spell work to customs, things that both he and Morgana could not know, having been raised outside of magical communities.

Morgana noticed that many of the nobles were looking at her differently. She began to feel uncomfortable and exposed by some of their withering looks. Her conversations with them, usually warm and inviting, were unusually stilted. She was beginning to glimpse what Morgause had meant: Uther wasn’t the only one who feared magic, and while laws may be easy to change under a sympathetic monarch, hearts and minds are not.

“Your Highness, would you do me the honor of a dance?” Gwaine asked, extending his hand. He leaned in, and kissed her hand. “It might help lighten the mood around here.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Sir Gwaine, I would be delighted.”

He led her to the dance floor and bowed, as she curtsied.

“This bunch over here,” Gwaine gestured slightly to his left, “Is going to cause trouble if you aren’t careful. They don’t much like sorcerers. I spent a lot of time in their company as a lad. I know what they’re capable of, and it’s not for the ears of a lady.”

“What do you suggest?” she frowned. “How do we diffuse this tension and seek acceptance among the noblemen, let alone the peasantry? I know you have largely rejected your upbringing and title, but surely you have some insight into their thinking?”

“I don’t have any good ideas for you, Princess. Just be careful, any one of them could…,” he grunted just as he’d turned her abruptly, collapsing in her arms, bringing them both to the ground. Several women screamed and the crowd was in disarray.

“Gwaine!” she cried, seeing the knife in his neck. She rolled him onto his back with his head in her lap, in time for his eyes to flutter shut.

The knife was in deep; it was a hard throw from a short distance away, likely intended for her. She could do this. She could save him. She closed her eyes to concentrate, pushing out all of the other sounds of the banquet hall. She shut herself off from even Merlin and, with her magic, slowed the flow of Gwaine’s blood in order to remove the knife. She pulled the blade out at the same time as she began the incantation, holding her palm over the wound and chanting the words louder and louder, feeling the energy of magic flowing through her until the wound was repaired. His heartbeat was faint but was growing stronger.

Her hands and dress were covered in Gwaine’s blood, and she was cradling his head. “Gwaine?” she said softly.

He groaned and opened his eyes. She sighed with relief. She looked up to find Arthur, Merlin and the rest of the knights surrounding them.

“He’ll be all right. The healing will have taken it out of him, so he needs rest, and plenty of fluids. Water, not ale,” she said, as Leon and Lancelot helped him to his feet.

Merlin helped her to her feet, as she struggled to get up in the large gown.

“Did you see who threw the knife?” Merlin asked, his brow furrowed in worry.

“No, but Gwaine had been warning me about those individuals over there, apparently they don’t like sorcerers,” she said, gesturing with a nod.

Arthur gave instructions to the knights, and he and Merlin escorted her to her chambers, with two guards following behind them. They entered her chambers, leaving the guards in the hall, and Merlin unlaced her gown.

“I don’t think this will be as easy as I’d hoped, Morgana,” Arthur sighed, sitting on her bed.

“No, I don’t suppose so. Morgause even warned me as much.” Morgana slipped out of the dress behind her dressing screen as Merlin warmed water in a washing basin for her. As she began to wash her face and arms, he picked up the discarded gown and muttered a few words, eliminating the blood from the dress.

Arthur frowned. “If you can do that, why are my shirts always stained?”

Merlin grinned. “Because you’re a clotpole and you eat like a toddler.”

He rolled his eyes. “You really were the absolute worst servant, and you’re even more insufferable now.”

Morgana shook her head at their constant bickering. “Merlin, can you lace me back up, please?”

“You can’t be going back out there. Someone just tried to kill you!” Arthur said.

“Of course I am. I won’t be intimidated into hiding. The banquet is in my sister’s honor, and to celebrate our union and our magic. I intend to enjoy it,” she said, her head held high.

Merlin nodded and laced up her gown, then offered her his arm. Arthur huffed and walked back in ahead of them.

However, when they reentered, the mood of the room had changed. The crowd rose to applaud.

“What’s happening?” Arthur whispered to Sir Leon.

Leon answered, “Healing a wounded Knight of Camelot just made the Princess very popular, Sire.”

As Arthur took Leon aside to discuss the situation, a middle-aged woman with graying red hair approached Morgana, and curtsied. “Your Highness, I had no idea you were such a powerful healer. Please, would it be possible for you to see my son? He’s my only son, and very sickly, and our physician has been unable to make any improvement on his condition. I only left his bedside and came today to seek out Gaius’s expertise, but maybe you could heal him?” Her voice trembled, almost afraid to hope.

“Of course, My Lady, I shall certainly do my best. Even outside of my magic, I have trained under Gaius as a physician for the past few years,” she said. “It’s Lady Gonilda, if I am not mistaken. We don’t see you here at Court very often.”

“Yes, my husband is Lord Ackerly, as is our son. He’s only just reached his thirteenth year.”

“Are you returning home tomorrow?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“Then I shall travel to see your son the day after next,” she said, gesturing to Sir Leon to come to them. “I wish that I could leave immediately, but my duty prevents it. In the meantime, please see Gaius for any remedy we might provide to take with you.”

“That is gracious of you, Princess Morgana, thank you,” she said, dabbing away at her tears.

Once Arthur walked away, she approached Leon. “Sir Leon, I must travel the day after next to treat Lady Gonilda’s son. I will need an escort in light of this evening’s threat.”

“I will lead your entourage myself, Your Highness,” he said. “I shall inform the King.”

“No, no entourage. I want to travel quickly and discretely.”

“The King will disapprove, My Lady,” he frowned.

She grinned. “He is accustomed to disapproving of what I do.”

Sir Leon gave a weary smile.

Many more of the noblemen and noblewomen of Camelot made their way to Morgana to discuss her healing powers. One woman who had lost six infants just after their births wondered what could be done to prevent it from happening again now that she was with her seventh child; one man suffered from debilitating pain in his joints and his physicians’ remedies no longer gave him relief; and another whose father recently suffered a fall and has been unconscious ever since. Could these injuries and illnesses be treated with magic? They all wanted to know.

Morgause listened intently.

. . .

“Sister, thank you for coming,” Morgana said. “Are you really certain you cannot stay more than one day?”

“I am certain, Sister. There is much to prepare for the seasonal equinox. If you are truly committed to bringing back the Old Religion, you should be making preparations as well,” she said, mounting her horse.

“You could stay. Teach me the old ways,” Morgana suggested.

“I will instruct you soon enough, Sister. I shall return to see you wed,” she said, signaling to her horse to ride for the gate.

Morgana watched her ride away, longing for the bond between them she’d had in her dreams. She didn’t want to share in her hatred of the Pendragons, but they had shared much more than that. She returned to the keep, still thinking on how to improve her relationship with her sister. There, she was surprised to encounter Gwaine.

“Sir Gwaine, you should be resting,” she admonished him. “Taking a knife in the neck for your princess deserves a day of rest at the very least.”

“I’m obeying Gaius’s orders, nothing strenuous today, I promise, My Lady,” he said, offering her an arm. “And, thank you, for saving my life.”

She slid her arm in his, as they walked through the halls. “I did my duty, as you did yours. As I told all of you weeks ago, I am at the service of the Knights of Camelot.”

“I’m grateful nonetheless,” he said. “I could feel it, as I was dying. It wasn’t particularly painful or even frightening, but when I felt your magic, your light, I was immediately comforted and drawn back. I knew where I belonged, and it was in this world. It felt like being blessed by a miracle.”

“I’m glad you interpret my magic that way,” she said, touched by the sentiment. “My father never would have.”

“As I’m sure you know, I disagreed with a lot of your father’s views, and that’s only one of them,” he replied. “But I am proud to serve Camelot for Arthur and for you.”

“We are grateful for your service,” she said, as they reached their destination. “We didn’t get to finish our conversation, or our dance yesterday. Would you please join us for supper this evening?”

“Of course, Your Highness,” he said, bowing and taking his leave.

. . .

“Arthur, this is now the third assassin Odin has sent. Surely you must see that!” Morgana said, pacing the floor of his room in her bare feet and nightgown.

“We don’t know that, neither of these men is talking. We can’t rule out other motivations, or other enemies,” he said, sitting at his desk, clad in his nightclothes, watching her wearily. “Either way, one of these attacks was on you, so I’m not thrilled with you leaving tomorrow with only Leon as your guard. You really should take Merlin as well.”

“No, we’ve been over this. Merlin needs to be here to protect you. I can protect myself,” she said firmly.

“Even worse that you intend to take Guinevere with you,” he frowned.

“She insisted! And she is quite capable with a sword as well,” she said, crossing her arms. “

“I still don’t like it,” he grumbled.

“You don’t have to like it, but it’s necessary. You heard what Gwaine said about the nobles tonight at supper. They’re far more upset about the legalization of magic than we realized. If they turn on us, we could have an insurrection on our hands. But I can save the life of the only heir for one of our most respected families, and that will help win their favor. Then we can concentrate on addressing the threat that Odin poses to Camelot,” she said.

“You’re right. About Lord Ackerly, not about Odin. I won’t take action against him without evidence.”

“He already killed our father. I’m certain he’s been behind these latest attempts on our lives, but if you find the evidence to convince yourself, what will you do, Brother?”

“Then this cannot go on,” he frowned. “I don’t want war, but at some point, he’ll find an assassin skilled enough that one of us will be dead, much like Father.”

“I can turn the tables and kill him myself,” she offered yet again.

Arthur sighed, resigned. “I don’t want it to come to that, but I won’t stop you if it does. Just please, let me make that decision, I don’t want the blame anywhere but on my shoulders.”

She nodded, satisfied.

He stood up from the desk and kissed her cheek. “Tread carefully, Sister. I want you and your companions returned safely.”

“I will, I promise,” she said, with a warm smile. _I’ll guard our future Queen with my life_, she thought.

When she returned to her chambers, Merlin was already in bed, reading through one of her spell books.

“I hope you sent poor Sefa home before climbing into my bed in such a state of undress,” she said, teasing. “The poor girl is already so scandalized by us.”

“She ran off pretty quickly when I came in and started undressing,” he said, pulling back the covers for her to climb in.

“You’re going to chase away my lady’s maid, you scoundrel,” she laughed, climbing into bed and extinguishing the candles with a muttered command. She pulled up the skirt of her nightgown and straddled him, kissing him, all of her troubles and worries fading away in his embrace.


	22. Chapter 22

“But I don’t like the idea of you going without me,” Merlin sighed. He was laying naked in her bed, wrapped up in her sheet. The sun was just beginning to shine through her curtains.

“I can take care of myself,” she huffed in offense, rolling over and turning her back to him.

“I know that,” he grumbled, pulling her closer. “But I don’t want to take care of myself.”

She laughed. “I’ll only be gone for a week, two at the most. I’m sure you’ll survive without me.”

“I’ll never survive without you,” he said into her hair, reaching under the sheet between her legs. She too was entirely naked but for the silver bracelet on her wrist. “I’ll do nothing but pine for you.”

“Mmm,” she said with as much disapproval as she could muster. While he was distracting her so deliciously, she knew he was nervous for her safety. But she could handle any problems, and Merlin needed to stay to protect the King.

She knew she should be getting dressed; she would be keeping Leon waiting. But Merlin rolled her over slightly and pushed into her, taking her from behind. She savored every thrust, every gentle nibble across her shoulders, his left hand so deftly stroking her core until she came, screaming his name into her pillow. He finished moments after she did, pulling out and rolling over to his side of the bed.

He was still breathing heavily as he told her, “Go on then, better get dressed. Leon’s probably standing outside the door pretending he can’t hear how loud you just shouted my name in ecstasy.”

She groaned. “He probably is, isn’t he.” She kissed him and quickly washed up and dressed, weaving her hair into a tight braid.

“I love you,” she said, kissing him.

“I love you, too. Be careful,” he said, seriously.

. . .

Morgana was relieved to find that Leon was still packing the horses when she went down to greet him. Arthur was with him.

“Merlin really should be going with you,” Arthur frowned.

“No, Merlin’s place is to protect the King. I will be fine. Sir Leon will make sure of it,” Morgana said.

“As will I,” Gwen said, with a grin.

“I have no real authority as King, do I?” he huffed.

“No,” Morgana and Gwen answered in unison.

“Keep these two out of trouble, Leon,” Arthur called, as they mounted their horses.

“Of course, Sire,” he said, kicking off his horse, with his squire and the ladies following behind.

. . .

The trip to Lady Gonilda’s keep was two days’ travel to the east. The first day of travel was uneventful, and not unpleasant despite the cool drizzle of rain. The days had begun to get shorter and evenings cooler. Fortunately, their trip was along main roads and included several small villages along the way, so it would not require camping.

They finally reached a small village at the half-way point at dusk, barely making it to the Inn before the sky was completely dark. Leon and his squire Iain took their horses to the stable to be looked after, while Morgana and Gwen paid for their rooms. The Inn was so empty, they were able to each have their own room.

Leon and Iain joined them by the hearth for a hearty meal of stew and ale. They had just finished their dinner, with Iain telling them amusing stories involving his recent training regimen, when a raucous began outside. They heard a woman shouting.

Sir Leon motioned for Morgana and Gwen to stay put while he and Iain went to investigate. They exchanged a look, and followed behind him.

“Trouble from the brothel, I’m afraid. Ever since it opened up, all sorts of bad characters end up over there. It’s hurting our business here,” the innkeeper explained.

“He’s hurting her!” Gwen exclaimed, peering over Iain’s shoulder. “Hey! You lot! Leave her alone!”

“My Lady, please,” Leon said gently, his hand on his hilt. He walked into the street. “Sir, I would ask you to unhand the woman.”

The large man tossed the prostitute he was manhandling onto the ground. “You think I’m scared of some pissant knight?” He came towards Leon, and drew his sword.

Leon quickly unsheathed his sword and dispatched the man with little effort. He repeated the action with the man’s two companions. This only infuriated the men who had come out into the streets to see what was happening.

“Uh oh,” Iain said, taking a deep breath and unsheathing his sword.

Morgana sighed. _Men._

Leon and Iain were doing fine on their own until suddenly they weren’t. Iain had taken an unlucky swipe across the leg, and was quickly being piled on. Morgana and Gwen both pulled the swords they had on their hips to defend him.

Morgana had intended to let it be a fair fight until a man hit Leon from behind while he was fighting three in front of him and, as she pivoted to fight his rear attacker, she felt a sword scrape down her forearm, cutting her and tearing her sleeve. She decided she’d had enough and was no longer amused. She sent the man flying through the air at least 30 feet and dared the next one to come near.

At that point, the men took the hint they were outmatched, despite it being four against twenty-five, and disbursed.

“Yeah, ‘at’s right! And don’t you bloody come back if you don’t have the coin!” one of the women from the brothel shouted. She was an older woman, and she approached Morgana and looked at her with suspicion. “You’re a sorceress.”

Morgana looked down at her. “So what if I am? Sorcery is legal in Camelot now.”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing. Useful tonight for sure,” she said. “Your lad there needs stitched up, and so does your blouse. Ay, you’ve a bit of a scrape yourself. Come inside, we owe you a drink and a mend.”

Sir Leon pursed his lips together with mute displeasure as Morgana followed the woman inside. Gwen helped support Iain into the brothel.

“Have a seat there, lad, prop your leg up, let’s have a look,” the woman said. The red-haired squire sat down on one stool and propped his leg up on another stool.

“There’s no need, I can heal him,” Morgana explained. “If you’re okay with that, Iain?” The young man nodded. She put her hands on his thigh and recited an incantation, and the wound closed up. The skin was still red, but would cause him no further pain.

“Well done, lass. Now, take those britches off, laddie, and we’ll mend them.”

Iain looked horrified, and looked at Sir Leon in response.

“That won’t be necessary, either,” Morgana laughed. “Here, allow me.” She again, held her hands over him and mended his pants.

“Either way, the lad could use a drink,” the woman grinned. “Surely you can’t make ale appear.”

“If only I were so powerful,” Morgana returned her smile. “I agree, he fought bravely, he deserves a drink.”

“Only one,” Leon nodded.

“What about your arm, Morgana? Can you heal yourself?” Gwen asked her.

Morgana shook her head. “I’m afraid I’ve never quite figured that one out. But my magic does make me heal incredibly quickly. It’ll look better by morning, certainly.”

“Tis but a scratch, I’ll clean it for you, lass,” the woman said. Morgana pulled her bracelet from her wrist and laid it on the table, as the woman opened up her torn sleeve and cleaned the wound. They brought her an ale as well.

“Not many folks around here willing to risk their hides for a whorehouse. Who are ye?” the woman asked, applying a clean bandage.

“I’m Princess Morgana,” she said. “This is my Lady in Waiting Guinevere, Sir Leon of Camelot, and his very brave squire Iain.”

The woman almost laughed but then realized her male companion was wearing the red of Camelot knights. “You’re serious.”

“We are traveling to heal a sick young man, and are stopped here for the night. We heard the commotion from the Inn,” Gwen explained, as Morgana winced from the substance the woman was using to clean her wound. She knew it was effective by its smell, but it certainly stung.

“It’s true then. You’re the Princess Morgana and you have magic?” a young girl asked her. She could be no more than 16, with braided brown hair. Morgana was shocked she could be living in such a place at her tender age.

“Yes, I have magic,” Morgana answered.

“I do too,” the girl whispered.

“Show me,” Morgana encouraged.

The girl looked around the barroom, and with a wave of her hands, all of the tables were cleared and cleaned, the cups cleaning and stacking themselves in the corner with the wash bin.

“Marvelous,” Gwen clapped, and laughed. “Oh how much better chores are with magic!”

“I won’t be in trouble for using magic?” the girl asked, suddenly worried.

Morgana took the girl’s hands in her own. “Never again. My brother, our King, has made it safe for all of us to use magic again. But only if we use it for good.”

The girl nodded. “I will.”

“What’s your name, my dear?” Morgana asked.

“Kara,” she said.

“Does your mother work here?” Gwen asked.

“No, Milady. My parents are both dead. They were killed by the king,” the girl said, a rage simmering just below the surface that Morgana knew all too well.

“By Arthur?” Gwen asked with surprise.

The girl shook her head.

“Uther,” Gwen sighed. “Oh, dear girl, I know your pain. I lost my father too.”

“Gwen didn’t lose her father, Uther killed her father,” Morgana said bluntly. “My father committed terrible atrocities, and I am truly sorry about your parents. My brother and I are trying to make amends and change Camelot, so that what happened to your parents, doesn’t happen to anyone else’s parents, and won’t happen to you.”

The girl nodded.

“It doesn’t bring them back though, does it?” Gwen said gently.

“No,” the girl said stiffly.

Morgana frowned. “You aren’t working here are you? As in…”

“No, Milady. I’m just the wash girl. For now,” she said grimly.

“Besides your parents, where are your people? The Druids?” Morgana said, pointing to the markings on her forearm.

“I don’t know, Milady. We had been traveling for supplies, when my parents were discovered and killed. I had no way of knowing how to get back to my village. Mistress took me in and hid me, pretended I was her own. That was two years ago.”

“That was kind of you,” Gwen said to the woman, as she brought them fresh drinks.

“I’d been in her place once, I didn’t want the child to suffer what I had, even though knowing what she is put us at risk. If she stays here, she’ll work eventually, but not until she chooses. But now that magic is legal, maybe she can find her people instead,” the woman said.

“Would you like to come with us?” Morgana offered. “We are beginning to welcome Druids into the city, surely someone knows where your people are.”

“I’m not sure…,” the girl looked at her mistress, nervously.

“It’s your choice, girl. You can make your future here, or make it there,” her mistress said.

“Do I have to decide now?” the girl asked.

“Of course not. In fact, we will be returning here after we visit the sick boy Morgana is going to heal. That could give you time to decide,” Gwen offered.

The girl nodded.

“We should go, we have an early start to our day, Your Highness,” Sir Leon said.

“Of course. It was a pleasure meeting you, Mistress…”

“Morag,” she answered.

“Thank you for your hospitality, Morag. We will return to see Kara within the week,” Morgana said.

. . .

_“Why isn’t the spell working, Morgana?” Gwen asked, worriedly. “He’s looking worse, he’s, oh my god!”_

_The young man began convulsing, the rotting flesh of his feet permeating the air. _

_“I don’t know! Why isn’t it… no! NO!” Morgana cried, as he finally stopped seizing and stopped breathing. _

_“What you have done, you witch!” his mother wailed. “You’ve killed him!”_

_“No, I didn’t mean to! It should have worked! It should have!” Morgana said in a panic._

_“Morgana, what is this around his neck?” Gwen asked, touching the amulet to examine it. A cursed object, Morgana realized. She’d seen one before, in her dream. The way she’d killed Uther. Oh goddess, just by trying to heal him, she really had killed him. It was all her fault. _

_“Don’t touch my son, you witch!” Gonilda slapped Gwen, knocking her backwards, the amulet still clutched in her hand._

_Morgana knocked the woman back with a burst of magic as a reflex, then looked down at her hands in horror. “I’m so sorry, Lady Gonilda, I didn’t mean…”_

_“You witch! You murderer! I don’t care that you’re the king’s sister, you should burn for what you’ve done!” the woman screamed, as Morgana and Gwen fled from the room._

_Frightened, she and Gwen ran out quickly to find Sir Leon and Iain. A crowd was gathering as Lady Gonilda continued to scream accusations, and they were beginning to throw rocks at them. Leon put up his shield, but one rock had already cut Gwen on the face. As he moved to better shield her, another rock hit Leon’s head with a resounding crack. He dropped the shield as he lost consciousness and fell to the ground, his eyes still open in shock._

_“Leon! No!” Morgana cried, cradling his body. It was too late to heal him; he was gone. Her rage built and as she was pelted with more rocks, she engulfed the crowd in flames. _

_“Morgana, no!” Gwen cried, blood running down her face from the cut on her forehead. “There are children among them! Stop! Morgana! Please! Stop!” _

_The children’s screams were horrific as the crowd burned, and they kept getting louder…_

“My Lady! My Lady! Morgana! Wake up!” she felt someone shake her, and realized the screaming was coming from her.

She sobbed into Leon’s chest as he held her tightly, the room lit only by the candle he had brought in when he’d heard her scream. He rocked her and shushed her like a child, muttering words of comfort.

She finally calmed down enough to speak. “I’m… sorry…” she hiccupped. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had one.”

“Your nightmares, I know,” he said, kindly. “Do you wish to speak of it?”

“They aren’t just nightmares, they’re prophecies. My dreams come true. Glimpses of the future,” she shivered.

He frowned, and held her firmly by the shoulders. “Tell me. What peril did you see?”

“You… you died,” she admitted.

“Oh,” was all he said, releasing his grip on her.

“It was my fault,” she sniffed.

“Surely not, My Lady,” he smiled kindly, bringing her a handkerchief from the dressing table.

“When I went to heal the boy, he was cursed. I didn’t see it under his shirt, but he wore an amulet that would reverse any spell I cast to heal him. Instead of healing him, I killed him. Lady Gonilda… didn’t take it well.”

“And I died?”

“Defending me from an angry mob.”

“It would be my great honor to do so, My Lady,” Sir Leon said seriously.

“It won’t be,” she sniffed again. “And after you died in my arms, I burned the crowd, all of them, and I took great pleasure in it. Those barbarians. Those monsters. I was glad to see them burn, just as they’ve burned my people for so long.”

Leon frowned. “But now that you know about the amulet, you can change the outcome. You can save the boy. We won’t be met by an angry mob.”

“I believe so. But someone is trying to set us up, murder the boy with magic. Regardless of their intention, this is far more dangerous than I realized, and not only have I brought you and Iain into it, I’ve brought Gwen into it as well.”

“The way I see it, we now have the advantage. We know what they’ll try to do, so we’re already a step ahead of them.”

She nodded and exhaled, beginning to calm but still trembling.

Leon looked at her with sympathy. “These nightmares you have, these premonitions, are overwhelming, aren’t they? Are they always of bad things?”

“There hadn’t been a lot of good things over the years to dream of, at least not until more recently. Until I dreamed of Merlin, once I knew we would fall in love,” she said, with a small smile.

“He’s a good man. The good premonitions must be outnumbering the bad these days,” he said.

She looked at him quizzically. “Why do you think?”

“None of the guards have heard you have nightmares in a long time. Since back before Uther died,” he said, pulling a blanket from the end of the bed to wrap around her.

“What’s strange is I never dreamed of his death. And honestly, I haven’t really had any premonitions… oh, ouch,” she murmured, as Leon accidentally brushed against her arm.

“Oh, my apologies, My Lady, I forgot about your arm, is it still very sore?” he asked, wrapping the blanket around her more gently.

She pulled her arm out to look at it. “It’s better, nearly healed, just a little sore.” She sighed with the sudden realization. “Oh, how careless. I left my bracelet on the table at the brothel, from when Morag cleaned my arm.”

“We can retrieve it in the morning before we set off. Was it special?”

“My sister gave it to me awhile ago, it was my mother’s. I’ve worn it every day since she gave it to me…,” she gasped with the sudden realization. “Oh no, why didn’t I see it before now? It’s supposed to be a healing bracelet, it should calm my nerves but not suppress my visions, but I think it’s more than that. She’s obviously enchanted it.”

“The bracelet?”

“It must be dampening my prophetic visions. I never put it together until just now. Dammit, I’m such a fool,” she grasped the blanket tighter around her. How could she have been so stupid?

“Are you sure she enchanted it? If it belonged to your mother and was already enchanted, would your sister have known its power?”

“As a high priestess, I can’t imagine she wouldn’t.”

He nodded. “And her intention would be to keep you from having visions?”

“I doubt it was for a restful night’s sleep,” she frowned. “I’ve worn it or had it near me ever since she gave it to me. If I hadn’t been careless with it tonight…”

“I’d be dead in two days’ time, as would a lot of villagers,” he said, grimly.

“I won’t let that happen,” she said with new resolve. “You’re right, we have the advantage.”

“I’ll leave you to your rest then, My Lady. I don’t wish to linger much longer, lest anyone find me in your room in such a state and do harm to your reputation,” he said sheepishly.

She smirked at him, noticing his bare chest was a bit damp where she had been crying against it just a few minutes ago. Good thing Merlin wasn’t the jealous type. “I think it’s a bit late for salvaging my reputation at this point. I’m sure you know by now I’ve had undressed men in my bed for far less innocent purposes, Leon.”

He smiled. “Your brother has frequently complained of one, yes.”

She laughed, and then said, seriously. “Good night, Leon, and thank you, for your duty, and your friendship. I am honored by both.”

“You have my unwavering friendship, My Lady,” Leon began, but trailed off.

She gave a sad smile. “I hear an unspoken ‘but.’ Speak freely. I value your opinion.”

“You have a good heart. If I should die protecting you, or if Iain does, or even if Gwen does, please don’t do us the disservice, don’t do our memories the disservice, of becoming the very monster you’ve always hated. Let our duty and our sacrifice mean more to you than that. You can control your power, and your rage. It doesn’t control you. I have faith in you, Morgana, as do the rest of the Knights of Camelot. As does the King. As does Merlin.”

She looked up at him in the candlelight, his tousled mane of hair and kind face, and was struck by how lucky she was to have such friends to speak such bold truths. In her dreams, the Knights were loyal to Arthur and would not serve her, let alone love her. That emptiness in her original vision of her future, where she was alone and only full of rage and ambition, is so different from what she has now. But she also knows how her heart could turn dark so easily; she’s seen it happen so often in her dreams.

“Thank you, Leon. I will live up to your vision of me, you have my word,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “Good night.”

“Good night, My Lady,” he said, picking up the candle and closing the door behind him.

. . .

The next morning, they found Kara waiting for them as they came downstairs from their rooms.

“Kara! Have you decided to join us?” Gwen asked, smiling broadly at the young girl.

“I believe so, yes, Milady. I would like to return to the city with you, but if I may join you after you finish your journey to heal the sick boy,” she asked.

“Of course,” Gwen said. “We’ll be returning here within the week.”

The girl looked unsure that was true. “I will look for you then. Princess Morgana, Mistress asked me to return this to you. You left it last night,” she said, pulling the bracelet from her skirts.

Morgana smiled. “That’s very kind. The bracelet was given to me by my sister, it belonged to our mother. How about you keep it safe for me? Then you’ll trust we’ll return.”

“Of course, Princess,” the girl said, giving an awkward curtsy. Morgana and Gwen exchanged a smile.

“We’ll see you soon, Kara,” Morgana smiled.

Morgana paid the innkeeper to secure their rooms in advance for their return, and asked him to arrange for the purchase of a small horse for the girl upon their return, then they set off to cure Lady Gonilda’s son.

On the ride, Morgana told Gwen about her dream, and about the true nature of the bracelet.

“Then, if you hadn’t been wearing the bracelet, you might have foreseen Uther’s death,” Gwen gasped.

Morgana nodded. “Does it make me a terrible person that part of me is glad I didn’t?”

“Oh Morgana, of course not. He did terrible things, like what he did to Kara’s parents…”

“And your father,” she sighed.

“And if Uther was still alive, you couldn’t live openly. Sorcerers would still be executed. You certainly couldn’t marry Merlin! And I couldn’t marry Arthur!” she said, then immediately blushed.

“You couldn’t, could you?” Morgana said, eyeing her suspiciously. “Have you merely come to accept your destiny, or did my brother finally come to his senses and propose?”

Her bronzed face flushed crimson. Morgana gasped.

“He did! He proposed!” Morgana laughed. “And you two are keeping it a secret, because you don’t want to take attention away from my wedding!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you,” Gwen groaned.

“Nonsense! I’m thrilled. We’re going to be sisters!” she said, reaching across and grabbing her hand. “I promise to act surprised when I officially hear the news.”

“You can’t tell anyone else! I mean it! We want all the attention on you for your wedding,” Gwen admonished.

“I won’t tell a soul, not even Merlin, I promise,” she smiled. “Sister.”

“Sister,” Gwen grinned.

. . .

It was just after dark when they arrived at the gates of the keep.

Lady Gonilda ushered them in and her maid showed them to their rooms. Because they had packed light to travel quickly, she set out gowns for Morgana and Gwen, and respectable clothing for Leon and Iain. Her servants poured their baths and brought them supper to their rooms.

Lady Gonilda knocked on Morgana’s door as soon as the servant removed her dinner tray.

“Princess Morgana, I wanted you to meet our physician, Griswold. He has been treating Ackerly. I thought you might have some questions for him before you went to see Ackerly in the morning. He has taken a turn for worse.”

“Of course, that is an excellent idea, My Lady. Shall we?” she gestured to the sitting area.

Griswold explained the boy’s condition. It began with fatigue, blurry vision, terrible headaches and wounds that would not heal. His urine had a strong sweet odor, and he could not quench his thirst. And despite an increase in appetite, he began losing a great deal of weight. His eyesight began to deteriorate. Yesterday, he began vomiting profusely and, this morning, he could not be roused from his bed.

“I have seen this before, Gaius has a patient who manages the condition by eating no grains or fruits. But never so severe,” Morgana said.

“Can you heal him? With your magic?” Griswold asked.

“I believe so. If I can figure out how his body is not working. Can we visit the boy tonight instead of in the morning?”

“Of course, My Lady,” he said.

She followed the rotund middle-aged man through the halls until they came upon the boy’s chambers.

She sat on a stool beside the boy’s bed, and laying hands upon him, she closed her eyes.

“Griswold, I am going to spend the night here observing the boy to see what I can discover about his condition. If my escorts need me, will you please let them know where to find me?”

“Of course, My Lady,” he said, closing the door as he left.

She opened her eyes and searched the boy. The amulet was already around his neck. She took the cursed thing off the boy, and searched him head to toe for any other magical impediments. She then searched the bed, including under the bed, and through the rest of the room. Satisfied the amulet was the only cursed object, she held it in her hands, her eyes glowing gold. She felt the dark magic die in her palms.

“Now, little Lord Ackerly, let’s find out what’s the matter,” Morgana said, placing her palms on the boy’s chest and focusing.

She stayed in that position for the better part of the night, tracing the toxins through his body, until she located the source and all parts that were affected. Once she was confident she had found how to treat him, she was ready to begin the spellwork. Gwen entered with Lady Gonilda.

“Oh, Princess Morgana, Griswold says you’ve spent the entire night working. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the effort you’ve gone to, just to help him.”

“I think I understand the cause of his illness, and I believe I can treat him,” she said. Just in case, she had slipped the amulet into Gwen’s hands.

She placed her palms on Ackerly’s chest and began the incantation. Her eyes glowed and her lips moved but no sound came out at first. As she continued, her voice got louder, until she the incantation was a shouted command. The boy glowed under her hands, until suddenly he gasped and opened his eyes.

“Mama?” he said frantically.

Lady Gonilda sobbed, grabbing the boy to her chest.

“You did it,” Gwen said, beaming with pride.

“He’ll be okay,” Morgana sighed, relieved.

“Griswold! Lord Ackerly! She did it!” Gonilda shouted.

Griswold and the elder Lord Ackerly came into the room to see for themselves. The Princess Morgana, Court Sorceress of Camelot, had performed a miracle.

Morgana and Gwen stepped out into the hallway to give the family some privacy. Sir Leon peeked in.

“No mob violence then?” he asked, visibly relieved.

“No, not today,” she smiled.

“What do we do with this cursed thing, then?” Gwen asked, holding up the amulet.

“I’m going to hang onto it, until I find its owner,” Morgana said, taking it back from Gwen. “And now, I’m going to eat something and sleep the morning away.”

“I’ll have the servants bring your breakfast,” Gwen said, leaving her at her bedroom door.

. . .

This time it was Gwen who heard Morgana’s screams.

“Morgana? Are you all right?” she called frantically, throwing open the door.

Morgana gasped and woke up, eyes wide. “We’ve got to leave, we’ve got to get back.”

“Oh no, is it Arthur? Is he okay?” Gwen looked alarmed.

“No, it’s Kara. She’s in trouble. Get Leon, we’ve got to go,” Morgana said, gathering her belongings, and changing back into her riding attire. “I’ll check in on Lord Ackerly, and give our excuses to Lady Gonilda.”

“Of course,” Gwen said, hurrying out of the room.

Morgana checked her reflection in the mirror. Exhausted, she thought. The bracelet may have had nefarious intent, but she couldn’t argue that she slept better all these months.

“I came to check on our patient, how is he today?” Morgana said, walking into Lord Ackerly’s room.

“Oh, he’s doing beautifully, thanks to you!” Gonilda gushed. “We shall throw a banquet in your honor!”

“I’m afraid I cannot stay, My Lady. There is trouble in your border town, I’ve seen it in my dreams. They’re going to burn a young girl for witchcraft if I don’t intervene, a girl I promised to keep safe,” Morgana sighed.

“Oh no, that’s terrible. My Lord Husband will send his men to keep the peace. We will protect sorcerers in our lands; we take the orders of the King seriously. When must you leave?”

“As soon as I take a look at the younger Lord Ackerly and make sure I haven’t missed anything,” Morgana smiled at the boy, who was looking at her wide-eyed.

“We haven’t had the pleasure of being introduced,” she said, approaching the bed. “I’m Princess Morgana. Your mother asked me to come visit you, to help heal you. How are you feeling?”

“Much better, My Lady, thank you,” the young man said. His voice had the screech of a developing adolescent, and above his lip a slight dusting of hair.

“I healed the organ that was troubling you, but it may come to pass that it troubles you again. As I already discussed with your physician, to stay healthy, you should eat mostly meat and green vegetables. Try to avoid bread, potatoes and fruits, or eat just very little. And avoid sweets, except maybe on special occasions. Can you do that for me?”

“Of course, My Lady,” he said.

“I am so very glad you are well, My Lord,” Morgana smiled. “But if you are unwell again in the future, please call for me, I will come to your aid again.”

“Thank you, My Lady,” the boy said.

“Thank you,” his mother said, weeping.

“Throw that banquet, Lady Gonilda,” Morgana said, turning back before she left. “The boy deserves the celebration. As do you.”

Morgana met up with Gwen, Leon, and Iain at the stable, the horses already packed.

“We must arrive before nightfall, I’m certain what I saw occurs tonight,” Morgana explained. They took off to find Kara.

. . .

The ride was hard, and sure enough, when they arrived, there was a mob outside of the brothel.

Morgana swiftly dismounted and faced the crowd.

“I am Princess Morgana of Camelot, sister to King Arthur, his heir and his proxy. What is the meaning of this?” she roared to the crowd.

“This witch stole from me!” a red-faced man screamed. “She’ll burn for it!”

“You touch her, and it will be your life that’s forfeit,” Morgana hissed. “Now, what has she stolen?”

“My coin,” he said.

“He’s a liar!” Kara shouted. “He came without coin. He always comes without coin! He cheats the women after he abuses them! He only accuses me because of my magic!”

“Is this true? Do you cheat the women you use and abuse them?” she asked coldly.

“It’s true, Milady, he’s a violent brute. He beats us and steals from us all the time!” a woman shouted.

“Check his pockets!” another shouted.

“Sir Leon, if you please,” Morgana said.

Leon searched the man. “The women speak the truth, Your Highness.” He held out his hand. In it, was Morgana’s bracelet.

“Do you know who that bracelet belongs to?” she asked.

“It’s mine,” the man said defiantly.

“No, it’s mine. I gave it to the girl to keep while I was traveling, since I had nearly lost it here. It was my mother’s, it bears the crest of House Gorlois, my father’s crest. You are a thief, a liar, and an abuser of women and magic users. By the power of the crown of Camelot, I hereby sentence you to death.”

“Morgana,” Gwen gasped.

“Shall I carry out the sentence, Your Highness?” Leon asked.

“No. I shall,” she said. “You would have burned an innocent girl to mask your treachery. You will die as you would have done to her.”

She used her magic to force him to the post, and with a command, lit the pyre. After his screams began, she snapped his neck with another flick of her wrist. The fire consumed his body. The execution seemed to quell the crowd's blood-lust and the people soon left.

She wrapped an arm around Kara, who was trembling, and walked her back to the brothel and into Morag’s arms, with instructions to meet them at sunrise prepared to leave.

Leon and Iain followed behind Morgana and Gwen as they walked to the Inn to claim their rooms.

“Morgana, was that really necessary?” Gwen asked, visibly distressed by her display of power. “Could you not have shown mercy instead?”

Morgana shook her head. “I saw her die, Gwen. I watched her flesh burn from her bones as she died screaming in agony.”

Gwen closed her eyes, trying to shut out the image. “So you would do the same to him? He didn’t kill her. You stopped him.”

“I showed him mercy by giving him a quick death and not letting him burn painfully, as he would have done to her. And what would you have me do with him? Release him? He would just kill another in her place once we’d left. Gwen, you’re going to be queen, you’ll have to learn to impose justice, even when it’s unpleasant,” she huffed.

“Arthur wouldn’t have…”

“Arthur would have used the sword instead,” she said firmly, and went to her room to sleep, this time slipping the bracelet back on her wrist.


	23. Chapter 23

Morgana and her entourage arrived at the castle gates just before sundown. She caught sight of Merlin almost immediately, dismounting and kissing him passionately. Her brother made gagging sounds as he helped Gwen from her horse, and discretely kissed Gwen’s hand before letting go.

“I see you have a new companion, Guinevere. May I help you, Miss?” Arthur asked, offering Kara a hand to assist her dismount from her horse. She nodded and took it shyly.

“This is Kara. Kara, this is King Arthur,” Gwen said. “Kara’s parents were Druids, they were killed for having magic. We’re going to help her find her people, in the meantime, she’ll be Morgana’s ward.”

Kara awkwardly curtsied to him.

Arthur frowned. “Kara, I am sorry for what happened to your parents. You will be an honored guest in our home until you find yours.”

“Thank you, Sire,” she said, looking wide-eyed at the castle.

“Come, let’s get you settled in,” Gwen smiled. “I’ll show you your chambers and have food brought in so you can rest this evening.”

“I will join you, Guinevere. I would like to hear about the journey, and I don’t expect my sister has much interest in telling me at the moment,” he said, gesturing at the couple still kissing. Gwen laughed, and the three of them walked into the castle.

After a few moments, Merlin pulled away.

“I have news,” Merlin said, grinning. “My father is here.”  
  
“Your father!” Morgana said. “That’s wonderful! When will I get to meet him?”

“At supper. Come, I’m sure you want to clean up before then,” he said. _I’ll pour your bath myself_, he said.

She smiled. “I’ve missed you, my love.” _Only if you’ll stay to join me._

_I already sent Sefa away_, he replied with a smile.

. . .

Merlin escorted Morgana into the banquet hall for supper, where Balinor was speaking with Gwen and Arthur. He stood up when he saw them enter.

“Father, this is Morgana,” Merlin said, his voice thick with emotion.

Balinor took Morgana’s hand and kissed it. “It is a pleasure to meet my future daughter.”

“The pleasure is mine, My Lord,” she curtsied.

Merlin was practically trembling with excitement. “Father has incredible news. He knows where the egg is!”

“Aithusa? That’s splendid! Where is she?” Morgana said, mirroring his excitement.

“That’s a very long story, and we still need to get to her,” Merlin answered.

“When do we leave?” she asked, excitedly.

“Oh no, not this time, Morgana,” Arthur said. “Turns out Merlin’s as useless in Court as he was as a servant, and I’ve been stuck with triple duties while you and Guinevere went on your little adventure, healing sick kids, picking up new ones. It’s my turn for a quest. Also, you have a new ward to care for, and Gaius has been working round the clock because there's been an outbreak of some illness affecting cattle, he needs your assistance. So, this, my darling sister, is going to be boys only.”

“Arthur, you are such a prat,” she huffed.

Arthur grinned and put an arm around her. “Oh, you have no idea. The pregnant cow guy is back before the Court this week. He has a lengthy petition against his neighbor, and I saved him just for you.”

She gasped. “You are the worst,” she glared at him. “I should have listened to my sister and just overthrown you.”

“Then you’d have to do all the work, all the time, and you’d have no room for any adventuring anyway,” he laughed, kissing her head. “Come, let’s eat, I’m sure you’re famished, and Merlin, Balinor and I won’t eat like this for a few weeks at least.”

“A few weeks?!” she exclaimed, livid.

_He’s kidding, we won’t be gone that long, I promise,_ Merlin said, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, I’m glad you two are getting along so much better these days,” she grumbled, taking a long drink of wine, before taking a cleansing breath and turning to Balinor. “Lord Balinor, I want to hear everything there is to know about being a dragonlord. What a wonderful gift. I can’t wait to meet Aithusa, I’m certain the egg is hers. I’m sure Merlin’s told you of my visions.”

He regaled her with stories of dragons, and magic she’d never heard of. He was a fascinating man, and she saw so much of Merlin in him. It put her in a much better mood, despite her disappointment at not being invited to find the egg.

After supper and after making certain Kara had everything she needed, Merlin escorted Morgana to her chambers. He stopped awkwardly at her door. “You aren’t still cross with me, are you?”

She glared at him.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he cringed. “I suppose I should return to my quarters now.”

“Absolutely not,” she pouted. “I’ve been gone for days, and now you’re leaving in the morning. This is our only time together.”

“Then how can I make it up to you, my love?” he said, ghosting his lips across her bare neck, smiling as she shivered.

“I have a few ideas,” she said haughtily, opening her door and pulling him inside.

She grinned and used her magic to pin his wrists against the back of the door.

His eyes widened in surprise. “Morgana, what are you…?”

“Shhh,” she silenced him with her lips, her hands traveling across his body.

She felt him grow hard under her hands. “Hmm, it seems the mighty Emrys is under my control now. Whatever shall I do with you?” she mused.

“I suppose I am at your mercy,” he said, watching as she slowly undressed in front of him, her dark blue gown pooled on the floor, shedding her undergarments as well.

“Well. Perhaps, I’ll just pleasure myself tonight,” she said, laying on the bed where he would have a full view.

He groaned, his cock throbbing at the sight of her stroking herself.

“Are you enjoying the show, Merlin?” Morgana asked innocently.

He groaned again in response. “Very much enjoying it. I want you so much.”

“Do you now?” she pulled her hand away.

“Yes, you know I do,” he said.

She pouted. “Well, that’s so unfortunate, because you’re all tied up.”

“Morgana, I need you,” he whined.

“Hmm… not a good enough reason to release you.”

“Please, Morgana,” Merlin said pitifully.

“There it is, you asked nicely,” she laughed, releasing his wrists.

He pulled off his tunic and she yelped as he scooped her up from the bed.

“I’m going to have you against that door,” he practically growled, carrying her to it, while she laughed in delight. She untied his trousers and pushed them down hurriedly. She gasped with pleasure at the forcefulness of his entry, scraping her fingernails down his back as he continued to thrust into her.

They finished quickly and collapsed into a heap by the door.

“Must you torment me so?” he gasped for breath.

She laughed. “The next time you displease me, I won’t let you off so easy.”

He grinned and kissed her. “As though I couldn’t have broken through your spell.”

“And risk displeasing me again? You wouldn’t have dared,” she said with a stern look.

He kissed her again, then pulled away.

“I do hate that we’re leaving without you. I know what finding Aithusa means to you,” he said. “But Arthur insisted he come along.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course he did. Wants to be king, never wants to do the real work.”

“He’s always been a lazy prat. But it’ll be good for us, to continue to mend our friendship, and for us to bond with my father,” he said.

“I know. Which is why I’ll allow it, and why I’m not locking Arthur in his chambers while I go in his place,” she said, lips pursed in displeasure.

“We won’t be gone long. And we’ll return with the egg. I promise we won’t hatch her without you.”

“I can’t wait to see her,” she smiled, getting up from the floor and going to wash.

“Tell me about what happened on your trip. Something troubles you, I can tell. Gwen too,” Merlin said, picking her discarded gown up from the floor and hanging it up. He waited for her in the bed, leaving his own clothes on the floor.

She sighed as she slipped under the covers. “I didn’t really want to talk about it this evening, but I don’t suppose I’ll have another chance for a while.”

Merlin listened intently as she told him the events that had transpired.

“So, the bracelet dampens your powers of sight? Morgana, you’re still wearing it!” he said, incredulously.

She sighed. “Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to never get a peaceful night’s rest?”

“But if you had been wearing it before you used magic on Lord Ackerly…” Merlin frowned.

“I know. You’re right. I shouldn’t be wearing it. But regardless of Morgause’s intent, it was nice not being burdened with these visions, even if I didn’t realize that’s what was happening,” she said, twisting the bracelet around her wrist.

“If not for your visions, we wouldn’t be together,” he said. “These visions have saved your life, and Arthur’s, numerous times. I know you bear the weight of them, and I would take them from you gladly and bear the burden myself instead if I could, but this bracelet was not a gift given with good intentions. She gave this to you not long before Uther died. Tell me that’s a coincidence.”

She frowned. “I don’t suppose it is.”

“I just want you to be safe, Morgana. I don’t trust her. Please be careful,” Merlin said.

She nodded. He pulled her close, as she snuggled against his chest.

. . .

Arthur and Gwen took a walk in the courtyard after supper, her armed linked in his. Gwaine was on duty, following behind them at a respectful distance.

“Something troubles you, Guinevere,” Arthur commented. “Was the trip really so unpleasant? It seemed you had more to say earlier, but refrained from doing so with Kara present.”

“Parts of it were quite unpleasant, my love,” Gwen frowned, and told him the story of their travels that involved Morgana’s prophesies.

Arthur seethed. “So, Morgause was involved in my father’s death after all?”

“We don’t know that for certain, but she at least, whether coincidentally or intentionally, prevented Morgana from seeing visions of it,” Gwen agreed.

“I invited her here, in our home. Welcomed her into my Court,” his hands trembled. “We allied with her to save the Druids.”

“If you’re thinking that this is somehow your fault, that you betrayed your father, you need to stop. That’s not what happened. If Morgause knew about the assassination, if she is working with Odin, it isn’t your fault,” Gwen said.

“Has Morgana finally seen her for what she is, at least?” Arthur asked. “Does she now know Morgause is the enemy?”

Gwen shook her head. “Arthur, tread carefully with her, Morgause is still her sister.”

“And I am her brother!” he said, his voice booming across the courtyard.

She shushed him. “Put yourself in her place. What if it was Morgana who was acting against you? Could you consider her your enemy? Could you run her through with your blade?”

He shuddered at the thought. He knew of Morgana’s original visions, knew how close it came to being their reality. “Apparently I could, because in another life, she was my enemy. She killed my father. She killed your brother, and Gwaine, and Lancelot. And finally I died on a battlefield in a war she waged.”

Gwen shook her head. “I still couldn’t do it. Not if it was Elyan. I couldn’t take up arms against him.”

“You think me cruel?” he asked.

“No,” she frowned, thinking back to her exchange with Morgana about her execution of the man who tried to kill Kara. “I think I just haven’t the stomach for violence.”

“Well, Morgana certainly does,” he said. “She could wage war against me, the brother she grew up with for half of her life, but she couldn’t take up arms against the sister she scarcely knows? What should that tell me?”

“The life from her visions was different, she was driven to madness. That’s not who she is, and that’s not who we want her to be, is it? Don’t doubt her loyalty to you, Arthur, she loves you. You know that,” she frowned.

“At some point she will need to make a choice between Morgause and me, and choose who she loves more,” he said. Gwen shivered at the prospect. “Come, let’s get you back inside, the evening has gotten quite cool.”

She nodded, entrenched in thought.

They walked down the hallway past Morgana’s door, which was being pounded on from inside her chambers for some reason. Gwen looked at the door confused, and Arthur pressed fingers to his forehead as though fighting back a headache and groaned. She heard Gwaine snickering behind them as he also passed the door.

“Gwaine, you may go, I can escort Guinevere to her chambers myself,” Arthur said lightly.

“As you wish, Sire. Good night, My Lady,” he said with a bow.

“Good night, Sir Gwaine,” she said.

Once he was out of sight, Arthur kissed her deeply. “I’m leaving in the morning, won’t you let me stay with you tonight?”

She flushed and nodded. They looked around the halls and entered her chambers.


	24. Chapter 24

Merlin, Arthur and Balinor left just before dawn, and Morgana and Gwen resumed their royal duties, which included a very long day at Court.

“So, then Bronson told my wife that the cow was barren and that she wouldn’t produce any calves, and I said…” the farmer droned on.

Morgana glanced at Gwen and sighed unhappily. She was going to get even with Arthur for this.

Finally, the day came to an end, and Morgana went to check on Kara, who was assisting Gaius.

“I see you’ve replaced me already, Gaius,” Morgana said, as she spied Gaius teaching Kara how to measure ingredients for potions.

“You are irreplaceable, my dear,” Gaius said. “But young Kara here shows real potential.”

“Perhaps you should take her on as a pupil. If she’s interested, of course,” Morgana suggested, pulling on an apron, and jumping in to work on a potion.

“Could I, Gaius?” Kara asked, her expression full of hopefulness.

“I don’t see why not. Although, I thought you wanted to return to the Druids?”

“I do, but…” she frowned. “What if they don’t want me back? What happens to me then?”

Morgana and Gaius exchanged a look. “Then they wouldn’t be very good people and I wouldn’t let you go with them anyway, you would just have to stay here,” Morgana said, firmly. “But, Kara, I don’t think that would happen. The Druids are a welcoming people, and they would be glad to have you returned to them.”

She nodded.

“In the meantime, you are welcome to study with me,” Gaius said.

“Please join Gwen and I for supper this evening,” Morgana said. “Sefa has placed some appropriate gowns in your chambers, and she’ll help you dress.”

“Thank you, My Lady,” she said, giving a curtsy.

. . .

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea to confront her, Morgana, at least not without Merlin there,” Gwen said, frowning, as she placed her napkin in her lap. “I don’t think she has your best interests at heart.”

“I took the bracelet off last night and had Sefa take it to the vault. I had no visions. It will be fine, Gwen, I promise,” Morgana said.

She nodded, as Sefa refilled her cup. 

Kara entered the dining hall, tugging awkwardly at her gown.

Gwen smiled at her. “It takes some getting used to, these fancy frocks.”

Kara nodded, taking her seat, hands in her lap and staring at her plate.

“And don’t worry about offending us if your table manners aren’t perfect, we regularly eat with Arthur after all,” Morgana said seriously.

Gwen laughed, and Kara gave a shy smile.

“How are you enjoying spending time in Gaius’s laboratory?” Gwen asked.

“I’m enjoying it very much, My Lady,” Kara said, carefully picking up her fork and knife and trying to mimic the other women at the table.

“Morgana said it may take a long while until you find your people,” Gwen said. “In the meantime, it’s lovely to have another girl about the castle.”

“Yes, the overly masculine atmosphere here gets quite tiresome,” Morgana sighed.

“You aren’t still cross they left you behind on their quest?” Gwen asked.

“Only a little. I know Merlin wants this time to bond with his father, and continue to repair his friendship with Arthur,” Morgana said. “But…”

“The work,” Gwen finished. “Yes, they certainly do have a way of getting out of doing work, don’t they?”

“Indeed. And Gaius needs assistance at the week’s end to again inspect and isolate the cattle infections. So much for a day of rest,” Morgana said.

“I’ll be happy to help, My Lady,” Kara offered.

“I’ll help as well,” Gwen said.

“Thank you, that’s generous,” Morgana said. “We can’t let this infection overtake the herds, or we’ll have meat and cheese shortages over the winter, I’m afraid.”

She explained the process they would need to go through to diagnose and isolate the infected cows.

“You mean you also help with the cows, My Lady? But you’re a princess!” Kara said, surprised.

“I’m also a trained physician, and this is what I trained for, in order to better serve Camelot,” Morgana said. “Being royalty is more than power, it is also immense responsibility. And that is what I never want to be blind to: what is best for the kingdom, what is best for the people. Because truly, in order to be a great monarch, one must be a great servant of the people.”

Gwen smiled. “And the same goes for supporting Arthur. While being part of Arthur’s Court usually means wearing lovely gowns and listening to grievances, on occasion, it means putting on a pair of trousers and examining cow hooves.”

“On occasion it’s curing sick boys, and saving Druid girls from execution?” Kara offered.

“That’s part of it too. Arthur and I owe a great debt to Camelot to undo the harm our father caused,” Morgana said grimly.

Kara looked down at her hands, and Morgana knew she must be thinking of her parents. Possibly even wondering if, had Morgana and Arthur overthrown their father, would her parents still be alive.

“Kara, I know it seems strange, but years ago, I had a prophetic vision of what my life would be like if I did not seek to change my future. It was a terrible future, full of darkness and rage. I lost everything I held dear and lost myself to a blind ambition to rule, to take Uther’s throne, and then Arthur’s, to punish those who had wronged me, to bring magic to a place of dominance, no matter the cost.”

Kara frowned. “I don’t see how taking Uther’s throne from him would have been a bad thing.”

“I know too well the pain you feel. I also lost my parents, and Uther was as much to blame for my father’s death as he was Gwen’s. I spent the rest of my childhood here, and when my magic emerged, I was terrified and angry and alone. I would have betrayed everyone and everything I was in order to overthrow him. But only seeing how it would play out did I realize it was the wrong path. I needed to follow Gwen’s example and learn to forgive him. It was incredibly difficult. But I did. And instead of seeking the crown for myself, I built a relationship with my brother, supported him so that he should rule, and by his side, we would bring magic back to Camelot together.”

Morgana frowned, thinking of the young Druid boy she had saved but would later help corrupt to die on a battlefield. She shook herself, and continued. “Kara, changing my future meant changing yours too. You now have a chance you otherwise wouldn’t have if I had waged my war. You have a chance to live a life out of the shadows.”

“You dreamed of me?” Kara asked her, surprised.

She hesitated. “Not directly. But you would have been just another casualty of my endless campaigns for the crown, that made magic more feared and reinforced Arthur’s prejudice. Instead, now there are choices ahead of you, and for others like you, like us. And I know that you will make good choices, and have a wonderful future.”

Kara nodded. Although Morgana knew she couldn’t possibly understand the gravity of the situation. Kara couldn’t understand how she was the lynchpin in Arthur’s downfall in Morgana’s original vision.

Sefa brought them dessert, and Morgana was grateful for a sweet distraction from their serious discussion. When they finished, Kara began to yawn.

“Come, Kara, it’s late, and you have lessons tomorrow,” Gwen said, standing up. “I’m quite tired myself.”

“Good night, Kara,” Morgana said. “Goodnight, Gwen.”

“Good night, My Lady,” Kara said, giving a curtsy.

Gwen gave Morgana a concerned look, but followed Kara from the dining room. Morgana knew Gwen hoped she’d change her mind, but she needed answers.

. . .

Morgana returned to her chambers to change. She had sent word to her sister to meet. She knew Arthur would be furious if he knew, and Merlin as well, but she knew her sister wouldn’t harm her, at least not intentionally. She needed to know, however, whether she was a threat to Arthur.

She saddled her horse, gave the guard instructions and rode out to meet Morgause.

Morgause embraced her when she saw her.

“Sister, I did not expect you so soon. How was your journey to heal the sick boy?”

“Better than you would have liked, I’m afraid,” Morgana said.

“I don’t understand,” Morgause said evenly.

Morgana pulled out the amulet. “Look familiar? I do believe it’s yours.”

Morgause shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do. This amulet belongs to you, and it’s cursed. You knew I was going to heal Lord Ackerly, and you wanted to make sure the boy died. Why?”

“That’s ridiculous. Why would I want to kill a child?” she asked, confused.

“Was it to show me that they would turn on me? They would try to stone me to death, execute me for my magic, when the spell backfired and killed the boy? To show the division between those with magic and those without, and how only through your takeover of Camelot will we ever be truly safe? Does that sound accurate? If not for a simple mistake, I would have been wearing the bracelet you gave me and I never would have seen it coming.”

Morgause frowned. “I gave you that bracelet because it was our mother’s. It has healing qualities. She too was overcome by her visions.”

“But it’s more than that, isn’t it? You enchanted it to suppress my visions entirely, and then you didn’t tell me what it would do. You gave it to me right before Uther died. You knew, didn’t you? You knew Odin was sending an assassin, and you needed to make sure I wouldn’t foresee it.”

She hesitated. “I’ll admit I knew about the assassination attempt, but I was not involved, and I did not interfere in either his death nor the life of this child.”

“I don’t believe you,” Morgana said bitingly. 

Morgause’s face flashed with anger. “Are you really complaining about Uther being dead? He was a tyrant,” she hissed.

Morgana shook her head. “That’s what you would have me be, a tyrant. I had hoped we could continue to be allies, as we’ve been in keeping the Druids and other magic users safe, that you would support a united Albion under Arthur. Perhaps that was foolish. You will never put aside your hatred of my family to serve my brother, our rightful King.”

“Your family?” Morgause raged. “I am your family, your only true family. Arthur is nothing, he is insignificant. You don’t understand the damage he will cause! He will destroy magic!”

“We’re done here. I’m done with you,” Morgana said, tears in her eyes.

Morgana stormed out, the tears streaming down her face. She’d wanted so desperately to have her sister by her side, but now she realized that would be impossible. She stood beside her horse for a few moments to compose herself before she mounted her. However, as she placed her left foot in the stirrup, her vision went black as she collapsed to the ground.

. . .

“You had no right!” Morgause seethed, looking down at her sister lying unconscious on the bare cot.

“I had to protect the Order and our mission,” a cloaked man answered evenly, as he affixed mandrake roots to the ceiling by strands of rope. “If the Princess cannot be persuaded with your words to our cause, she will be persuaded with my magic.”

“Brother Ruadan, I will not see my sister lose her mind,” she warned.

“Her mind will not be lost, only her will,” he reassured her.

“I hardly see the difference,” she said stiffly.

“She will serve our cause,” he said firmly, as he hung the final mandrake root, its doll-like visage swinging gently overhead. “You may be a High Priestess of the Old Religion, but the Council of the Order will see this done. You can see to her health while the ritual is completed, or you can leave. The choice is yours.”

She faltered.

“Morgause,” he said more gently. “You’ve seen the prophecies, the world that Arthur will usher in may be friendlier to magic now, and you may be tempted to enjoy the offered place in his Court alongside your sister. But in the future, magic will be entirely extinguished and the horrors our people suffered under Uther will be nothing compared to future generations. Morgana may be a powerful seer, but she isn’t divine. She doesn’t know what’s coming beyond her lifetime, only we do, only we have been given this instruction by the Triple Goddess. Arthur will usher in an era of the new religion, seeking its relics, and his legend will be the foundation for centuries of glorification of war on behalf of the new religion. He will be its champion. We must put an early end to the man, or else the future is lost.”

She nodded, defeated. “I know what’s at stake. You’re right. Morgana won’t be persuaded to overthrow her brother. We’ll have to do the ritual.”

She walked over to her sleeping sister, and brushed the hair away from her forehead with a sigh. The last thing she wanted was to take away Morgana’s will, but she doesn’t even trust her now and her allegiance to her brother is stronger than ever. If only there was another way. But if they simply conquered Camelot, Albion would erupt into chaos. They needed Morgana to rule; she was his heir, but their assassination attempts had been continuously thwarted. This seemed to be their last chance, without igniting a war and enduring mass bloodshed. Without making an alliance with the Saxons they may not be able to control.

Morgause’s eyes stung with tears. Her dear sister, from whom she’d spent a lonely lifetime apart. She would lay awake at night as a little girl, wondering where her sister was, and if she ever thought of her too, if she even knew of her existence. She grew up not knowing her family, raised in exile to become a High Priestess. But all these years, all she really wanted was the chance to know her sister. Now she never would.


	25. Chapter 25

“Leon, it’s been three days. There’s been no sign of her, and we don’t even know where Arthur and Merlin are exactly. I don’t know what more to do,” Gwen said, her head in her hands. “I know she sent the letter saying she was with her sister, but I don’t trust it. She wouldn’t just leave! Not for this long!”

“We have every available man searching for her. We will find her, I promise, My Lady. We are seeking her at the last known whereabouts of Morgause,” Leon said. “In the meantime, you must continue to speak with the authority of the Crown.”

Gwen sighed. She’d better get used to that, she supposed. Soon enough, she would be Queen. She thought back to the conversation she’d had with Morgana, when Morgana had executed the man who had nearly killed Kara for her magic. Queens had to make the hard choices.

“Leon, please, be careful. She’s incredibly dangerous.”

“At your command, My Lady,” Leon said with a bow, and then left the council room.

“Morgana, what’s happened to you?” Gwen said to herself. She stood up and decided to go take another look at Morgana’s room.

She found it exactly as she’d left it. Gwen began searching through Morgana’s personal items again, which felt like an invasion of privacy, but surely there must be something she had missed when she’d first looked three days prior.

Morgana had told her she’d had no visions, no expectation of danger, and had put her power dampening bracelet into the vault. Was Morgana lying? Did Morgana not always have visions before she was in trouble? She didn’t know what to think.

Gwen emptied her drawers, examining each item before placing it into a basket. She looked through every scroll and every book, page by page, despite being unable to read much of the language. She’d gone through all of her gowns and other clothing. Finally, she tore the sheets off of the carefully made bed and searched the mattress. She groaned in frustration and laid on the bed to think. Frowning, she sat back up and pulled the mattress off of the bed and flipped it over. She examined it carefully, until she found a seam that didn’t quite match the rest.

She picked at the threads until they came loose and dug around in the mattress. As Morgana’s former handmaid, she was an expert on Morgana’s jewelry, but inside the mattress was a piece she had never seen before, a tiny brooch twisted in a strange symbol she did not recognize. She slipped it into the pocket of her gown, and got to work remaking the bed and replacing the items she’d removed from Morgana’s drawers.

Exhausted, she laid down on the bed and examined the brooch. She could think of no good reason this item would be sewn into Morgana’s mattress. She could think of many nefarious reasons, however.

“Oh, Morgana, what’s become of you?” she lamented, staring at the strange object.

She left Morgana’s chambers to find Gaius, who confirmed her suspicions; it was enchanted. This only raised more questions than it answered. Was it for protection, or for a curse? Could it be the same dampening spell used on the bracelet? Where had the brooch come from? And how long had it been there? Had Morgana put it there herself, or had someone else? Gaius told her it was a likely a Druid symbol, but he did not know its meaning, nor did Kara.

She decided to question Sefa, knowing her father had magic, but the girl was nowhere to be found. Finally, standing in the tower overlooking the courtyard, she spotted Sefa returning to the castle. Strange. Where had the girl been?

. . .

The next afternoon, there was a sudden commotion at the gate.

“Morgana!” Gwen exhaled in relief as she caught sight of her. She ran down the stairs out to the courtyard.

“Morgana! You’re okay!” she rushed to embrace her.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Morgana looked at her strangely, seemingly uncomfortable by her touch.

“You’ve been gone for days!” Gwen exclaimed.

“Yes, and I’ve returned now, no need to fuss. I told you where I would be. Have my supper sent to my chambers immediately, and send Sir Leon to me, I have business to attend to,” she said coldly, and turned to walk inside.

Gwen stared after her in disbelief. Even when she was her servant, she’d never spoken so dismissively to her. She took a deep breath and hardened her resolve.

“Where did you find her?” Gwen asked Lancelot, who had just dismounted his horse.

“She was riding back towards the castle, as though she hadn’t gone missing for several days. We just happened to come across her. She’s acting a bit strange,” Lancelot said, his eyes following Morgana as she disappeared inside the keep.  
  
“I agree. I wonder what’s happened,” Gwen said.   
  
“Nothing good if she’s been with her sister. Gwen, Morgause is not to be trusted. The things she’s been said to do…”

“I agree, I don’t trust her at all. I’m afraid for Morgana, Lancelot,” she frowned.

“I feel confident that Princess Morgana can handle herself. Just be careful, Gwen. Promise me that,” he said, looking at her with deep worry that had replaced the expression of sad longing he always had whenever he looked at her.

“Of course. You as well,” she said, giving him a reassuring smile.

Gwen walked into the keep, her heart no less heavy than when Morgana was still missing.

. . .

Morgana’s behavior continued to be extremely difficult over the next day. She had made orders for aggressive troop movements that made Sir Leon concerned that they would exacerbate tensions with their enemies and be left vulnerable to attack. She laughed incredulously when Gwen reminded her that Gaius needed their help with the cattle infection cases, instead pouring over her spell books. She was unusually cruel in sentencing at Court, and she was giving orders and making decisions she knew Arthur would be furious about.

Gwen had sent Gaius to see what spells Morgana was working on, looking through her notes while she was holding Court.

“She’s looking at curses, and dark magic. Gwen, I share your concerns that Morgana is in trouble,” Gaius said.

“Morgause has done something to her, I just don’t know what.”

“We need to find Merlin,” Gaius said. “Whatever Morgause is up to, it likely means trouble for Arthur.”

“Then I need to find them before they get back.”

“Gwen, you need to stay here and keep an eye on Morgana. Send someone else who won’t be missed.”

She nodded. “Okay, I have an idea.”

She left Gaius’s laboratory, and immediately went to find Leon and Iain. “Iain, I need you to intercept Arthur and Merlin, they should be on their way back to Camelot by now. They need to be warned that something is wrong with Morgana. I think Morgause has done something to her, and if so, then I think she may be a threat to Arthur.”

“Of course, My Lady, I’ll ride out tonight,” he said, glancing at Leon, who nodded.

“Please, be careful, Iain,” Gwen said.

“I second that. Ride with haste,” Leon said.

Iain bowed and left.

“Gwen, please be careful as well. If Morgana has been compromised…” Leon frowned. “We know what she’s capable of. If she’s a threat to the King and we can’t undo what Morgause has done…”

“No, don’t say that, Leon. She’s still our Morgana,” she said, shuddering.

He frowned with worry. “You should go back inside before you’re missed. We’ll talk further at a later time, My Lady,” Leon said.

Gwen was about to return to the keep, when she spotted Sefa again. What was the girl up to? She sunk back into the shadows and watched where she headed, following her trail. She listened as Sefa met with someone.

She heard the girl gasp. “It's me! It's Sefa! I didn't mean to frighten you!”

A man’s voice responded. “Fear is in here. No one can make you feel fear. Do you understand? You have something to tell me?”

“The Lady Morgana has returned, but others have noticed she’s acting strangely.”

“By the time they realize why, it will be too late. Where is Arthur?”

“Still away, with Emrys and the dragonlord. He should return within the week.”

“Good, I’m leaving to join the others.”

“Shall I come with you?”

“Your disappearance would create suspicion.”

“What would you like me to do?”

“You have served your purpose for now. I hope they haven't ill-treated you.”

“They've been good to me, Father.”

“They are Pendragons. They're good for one thing only -- death.”

Gwen stayed in her hiding spot until both Sefa and her father left, and then returned to Leon.

“She’s a spy for her father, who is clearly in league with Morgause. It must have been Sefa who planted the brooch. I bet it has the same dampening powers as the bracelet. Morgana instructed her to take the bracelet to the vault. It must have been a backup plan to continue to suppress her visions.”

“We need to find out what’s been done to Morgana, to find out if there’s a way to reverse it,” Leon said.

“I have an idea, but we need to keep it quiet from Morgana,” Gwen said. “I want Sefa arrested, and scheduled for execution by my orders.”

“My Lady, I’m not sure you have that authority,” he frowned.

“I don’t, not yet at least. But she won’t know that. I just need to scare her enough to talk,” she said. “And bring her father back here if I’m correct.”

“Not yet?” Leon asked, eyebrows raised.

Gwen smiled and turned to leave.

“By your command… My Queen,” he said, after she left.

. . .

“What have I done?” Sefa asked, wide-eyed, as she stood in the cell, Gwen facing her.

Gwen stared at her icily, trying to act as she’d seen Morgana do. “Last night, where did you go?”

“Nowhere.”

“Don't make this hard on yourself. All I want is the truth. We both know you left the city through the southern gate.”

Sefa looked down, shamefaced.

“Look at me. Do you deny it?”

“No, My Lady,” she said softly.

“Who did you see? You can tell me,” Gwen said, firmly.

“You wouldn't understand.”

“Who did you see?” she shouted.

“My father. I saw my father,” the girl said, beginning to cry.

“And you’ve been spying for him? Did he give you the brooch to place in Princess Morgana’s chambers?

The girl nodded.

“Your treachery has endangered the Princess’s life.”

“I didn't mean to...”

“What did Morgause do to her?”

“I don’t know.”  
  
Gwen looked at her, appraising. “You don’t know that she did anything, or you don’t know what she did?”

“I don’t know what she did. I know she must have done something, they needed Princess Morgana on their side, to rule Camelot. She had her at my father’s camp.”

“What did you see?”

“Nothing. I don’t know.”

“You have admitted your guilt. You leave me no choice, Sefa. By the laws of Camelot, I find you guilty of treason. I sentence you to death.”

“No! Please, My Lady!” she sobbed.

“If you want to save yourself, you will start being more helpful,” Gwen said coldly.

“I… I just know there were a lot of mandrake roots, Father said they needed a lot of mandrake roots for the spell they were casting.”

“Mandrake roots. Anything else?”

“That’s all. I promise, My Lady, that’s all I know.”

“Then your sentence stands,” she said, leaving the girl to collapse on the dungeon floor, sobbing.

Gwen sighed once she left the dungeon. It felt cruel what she was doing, but if they were going to catch the treasonous sorcerer in league with Morgause, the threat to her life had to be believable.

She only hoped Iain would find Merlin and Arthur soon. She was afraid the longer Morgana stayed enchanted, the more risk of the dark magic corrupting her permanently.

. . .

“Mandrake roots, are you sure?” Gaius asked. Gwen nodded.

“When I was young, I heard about an ancient ritual of the Old Religion called the Teine Diaga,” he said, sitting down at the table.

“Teine Diaga? What’s that mean?” Gwen asked.

“It means 'sacred fire,'” Kara answered. “But I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“It is certainly not a power wielded by innocents. The ritual used the mandrake root to bring unimaginable terror to the victim. Their screams could be heard twenty leagues away. When it was finally over, their will was no longer their own. They were slaves of the high priestesses for eternity.”

“Surely it can be reversed?”

“I've told you all I know. Such mysteries were revealed only to a handful of female initiates. As a boy, I was privy only to rumors.”

“Would Merlin know how to break the spell?”

“I can only think of two people who truly know the Old Ways. One is Morgause, and the other is the Dochraid. But the Dochraid cannot be trusted.”

“We don’t need the Dochraid,” Merlin said, entering the chambers with Iain following after and closing the door behind them.


	26. Chapter 26

“We don’t need the Dochraid,” Merlin said, entering the chambers with Iain following after and closing the door behind them.

“Merlin!” Gwen said, hugging him with relief. “Iain, thank you.”

“Of course, My Lady,” Iain said.

“Where’s Arthur?” she asked. “And your father?”

“Father is protecting him, and no one knows I’ve returned, I disguised myself to get back into the castle. Morgana is truly enchanted by the Teine Diaga? Are you sure?” Merlin said, running a hand over his face.

Gwen put a comforting hand on his arm. “Well. I’m positive she’s enchanted. She disappeared for three days and she came back as though nothing were amiss, and she has been cold and cruel ever since. Sefa, her handmaiden, has been spying for her father, who is in league with Morgause. She said they cast a spell on her using a lot of mandrake roots.”

Merlin nodded. “Morgana told me about it. In her visions, she used that spell on you.”

“Oh,” Gwen said, surprised. “Did I…?”

“We were able to break the spell, according to Morgana.”

“Please say she told you how,” Gwen begged. 

“She did,” Merlin said. “But it still won’t be easy.”

“What is required?” Gaius asked.

“We have to travel to the Cauldron of Arianrhod. I have to summon the White Goddess.”

“Oh, summon a goddess, is that all?” Gwen said, wide-eyed.

“No, it’s even harder than that. Morgana has to willingly enter the water of the Cauldron, which holds the Goddess’s power. She can’t be tricked or in any way forced. But to get her there in the first place… we’ll have to drug her.”

“With what?” Gwen asked.

“A sorceress of her strength? Tincture of belladonna. But it can only be administered for up to three days,” Gaius said.

Gwen sighed. “And this will work? Are you sure? We can reverse the spell?”

“I don’t know, not for certain. Morgana said it worked on you, so I have to hope that it will work on her. Or else…” Merlin looked pained. “We’ll lose her forever to the darkness. It’s what she’s always feared. It’s why she told me everything she knew about dark magic from her dreams. So she wouldn’t be lost to it.”

Gwen hugged him tightly. “Then we will bring her back. Tell us what to do.”

“We need Morgana to drink this,” Gaius said, handing the vial to Gwen. “For a normal woman, it would be two drops every two hours. For Morgana, the dosage will be double.”

“I’ll bring her meal in the morning, she won’t suspect me,” Gwen said.

“I’m going to rejoin Arthur and my father where they wait. Iain, if you would collect supplies for the journey, and come for us once the Princess is asleep. We will make the journey,” Merlin said.

“Yes, My Lord,” Iain said. “What shall I tell Sir Leon?”

Gwen answered. “Tell him our plan. We will need his help to get Morgana out of the city without anyone else knowing. In fact, I need to go to her now and make excuses for Sefa.”

“Be careful, Gwen. She’s extremely powerful. If she discovers your intent, she could kill you with a flick of her wrist,” Gaius warned. Merlin looked crestfallen.

Gwen nodded, determined to save her friend.

. . .

“Good morning, Your Highness,” Gwen said, entering with the breakfast tray.

“Is there still no word of Arthur?” Morgana asked, testily. “How long must I be kept waiting?”

“I am certain they will return soon. I know you must be eager to hatch the dragon,” she said, setting up the breakfast at her table.

“Hm? Oh yes, of course,” she said.

“I will leave you to eat your breakfast, then return to help you dress,” she said.

“I must be notified immediately when Arthur returns,” she said, picking at the breakfast.

“Of course, Your Highness,” Gwen smiled and curtseyed.

Gwen listened at the door until she heard a crash. She walked down the hall calmly and retrieved Iain.

“Thank you for your help, I don’t know how else I could possibly get those curtains down to be washed without you,” Gwen chattered, as Iain pushed a cart down the hall.

“My pleasure, My Lady,” he said, as they entered.

They found Morgana asleep on the floor, her tray having fallen beside her. Iain and Gwen lifted her into the cart, and then they took down the curtains to drape over her.

Gwen let Iain take it from there, and had a one-sided conversation so as to not alert the guards.

“Of course, Your Highness. You must rest, and I will bring your lunch. Let the guards know if you need me,” she said, giving a curtsy and closing the door.

“Please let me know if the Princess needs anything, but please do not bother her otherwise. She is feeling quite unwell. I will return to bring her meals. Allow no one else to enter unless she calls for them.”

“Yes, My Lady,” the guard said.

Gwen took her place that day in Court, continuing to feel more confident about becoming Queen.

. . .

“There they are,” Arthur said, pointing to Iain and Leon, dressed in peasants’ clothes, pushing the cart.

They ushered them into the cave. “How long since her last dosage?” Merlin asked.

“It’s nearly time,” Iain said.

Merlin pulled back the sheet and looked at the sleeping face of his betrothed. He pulled out the dropper and gave her the dose, kissing her forehead gently. Arthur smiled sadly at how much Merlin loved his sister. He hoped for both their sakes, she would be saved.

“I must return, Sire, to not arouse suspicion,” Leon said. “My squire will continue the journey with you.”

“Thank you, Leon,” Arthur said.

The journey to the cauldron was two long, grueling days of travel, keeping Morgana carefully sedated. Merlin had bound her magic as well, in case she regained consciousness.

As they finally reached their destination, Merlin became increasingly anxious. What if the spell wasn’t the same that Morgana had seen herself use on Gwen? What if it worked differently on Morgana because she’s a sorceress? What if Merlin was not as powerful, spending years loving Morgana instead of spending years fighting her?

“Merlin, I can practically hear you worrying, it’s so loud,” Arthur said. 

Merlin smirked at him. “Picked up some mind-reading, have you?”

“Easy with a mind as simple as yours,” he retorted.

Merlin rolled his eyes.

Arthur’s expression became serious. “Stop worrying. Morgana gave you instructions, I’m certain you can do this.”

Merlin nodded, giving him a grateful smile and wishing he had as much faith in himself as Arthur apparently had in him. They left the carriage, and Arthur helped Merlin carry Morgana to the shore, laying her gently on the sand.

“Arthur, I want you and Iain to leave. Once I wake her, she’ll be incredibly angry. And she’s undoubtedly been enchanted to kill you.”

“She’s not been enchanted to kill me, My Lord. I can stay,” Iain offered.

Merlin put a hand on the young man’s shoulder. He was probably even younger than Merlin had been when he first arrived in Camelot. “I need you to protect the King. Should Morgana get the better of me, you will be his only defender.”

Iain nodded, and he and Arthur walked out of sight.

Merlin kissed Morgana’s forehead tenderly and caressed her cheek. “My love, come back to me. _Gielde ic thec thissa meowlessawole, gyden aeblaece._” His eyes glowed as he roused her from her sleep.

“Merlin? Where am I? What’s happened?” she woke, confused.

“We’re at the Cauldron Arianrhod,” he said, waiting for the realization to occur.

“No,” she said, growing agitated. “No! What have you done?”

“I brought you here to heal you,” he answered.

“I don’t need healing, you fool!” she spit angrily, and raised her hands to blast him with her magic. She was even more furious when nothing happened.

“What have you done?!” she screamed.

“I bound your magic. It’s temporary, it’s just to protect you, until you’re healed.”

“Release my magic at once!” she yelled, lunging for him. He stopped her with a raised hand.

“Morgana, please, think,” he said. “Remember your dream. Remember you did this to Gwen. It was a spell you learned from Morgause, and she’s used it on you.”

“I’m not under any spell except for yours!” she refuted. “Where’s Arthur?”

“He’s staying away because Morgause wants you to hurt him.”

“Coward,” she growled. “He stole my crown! I am the rightful Queen of Camelot!”

“You don’t believe that, not really. You’ve never wanted to rule. You became a physician so you could serve others. This ambition is Morgause’s doing.”

“I have my own mind, Merlin! You promised me you would choose me over Arthur, when you promised to wed me. Obviously, you never meant it,” she said, the hurt creeping into her voice. “I will be Queen, whether you like it or not!”

“What about me, Morgana? Will you choose me over everything else? Your ambition? Your sister?” he asked, pained.

She shook her head, as though trying to rid her head of his words. “Unbind my magic!”

“Okay, I’ll release you,” he said, finally. “Because I love you. I trust you. And I know you’d never hurt me.”

Morgana blinked at him, and felt the magic return to her body.

“Come with me into the water, Morgana. Let it just be us. No Arthur, no Morgause, just you and me. Please,” he said, taking a step into the water and holding out his hand.

She looked torn.

“I love you, Morgana. Please, come to me, let’s take away the cloud of the enchantment.” He kept his hand extended, his eyes pleading with her.

“It isn’t an enchantment that makes me want the throne,” she insisted. “It’s my birth right. It’s what is best for those with magic!”

Merlin lowered his hand, and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. “Morgana, if you truly want to be Queen, I’ll take the throne for you myself.”

She looked at him in surprise. “You would do that? Betray Arthur? For me?” she asked, skeptically.

“My love, I’m going to be your husband. Enchanted or not. I will always be by your side, and I will always support you,” he said solemnly. “If you want to be Queen, I’ll see it done. Whatever you desire, I will give you.”

She stared at him, trying to process the depth of his words. Her love for him compelled her forward, and she reached for him. He took her hand as she entered the water.

Merlin began the spell, “_Yfel gaest, ga thu fram thisselichaman. Bith hire mod eft freo. Ar ond heofonutungol sceal thurhswithan._”

A white light surrounded Morgana, and when the light faded, she exhaled in relief, and hugged Merlin tightly.

“Thank you for choosing me,” she said, tears streaming down her face. He kissed her, pulling her close.

“I told you before, I trust you completely. Do you still want to be Queen?” he asked, wiping away her tears, his forehead pressed against hers, stroking her hair.

She laughed, feeling slightly embarrassed. “No, that feeling has passed.”

“Good, I would’ve felt terrible having to turn your brother into a frog just to depose him, and not specifically because he was being a prat,” he said seriously.

She grinned. “Just because I don’t want his crown, doesn’t mean we still can’t turn him into a frog. He deserves it after the days in Court I had when he left with you and your father.”

He laughed. “Come, speaking of Arthur, he is waiting. He’ll be relieved you’re okay,” he said, helping her to shore.

They found Arthur and Iain, and Arthur rushed to hug her.

“Merlin did it. I was afraid I’d lost you,” he said, squeezing her tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I was foolish to think I could handle Morgause on my own.”

He pulled away. “You couldn’t have known. She had an accomplice, the father of your handmaiden; the girl has been spying for them. And no harm was committed, thanks to Gwen realizing what had happened to you while you were missing. I’m just glad you’re okay,” Arthur said. “But are we clear now, that Morgause is the enemy?”

Iain brought her a blanket, as she shivered from the cold water and now Arthur’s words.

Morgana frowned. “Arthur, she’s still my sister. I can’t trust her, but I can’t think of her as my enemy.”

“She would’ve had you kill me,” Arthur said, looking as though she’d struck him.

“And so you would have me kill her? Arthur, I… ” she didn’t continue after he stormed off. Iain gave her a sympathetic look and followed the King.

Merlin pulled her in to his embrace. “Give him time. He’s worried for you.”

“He’s worried for himself,” she said, flatly. “Let’s just get home.”

He nodded, taking her hand, and leading her back to their horses.

. . .

The trip back to Camelot was largely silent, with Morgana sleeping the majority of the time. The dark magic had exhausted her, as did the inner turmoil of her conflict.

It was dark when they arrived back to the castle. Gwen and Balinor were there to greet them.

“Oh, Morgana, thank goodness,” Gwen embraced her. Morgana’s eyes stung with tears, and she clutched her tightly. Arthur had stormed off into the castle without even acknowledging Gwen. She put her arm around Morgana and said, “Let’s get you inside for a nice hot bath before bed.”

They left the men behind and walked to Morgana’s chambers.

“I take it we need to find another lady’s maid?” Morgana said, giving a strained smile.

“Yes, the last one is still in the dungeon,” Gwen cringed.

She sighed. “Quite stupid of me, really. I’d had visions of her father being my ally as an enemy of Camelot, but I’d spoken with him when I agreed to take Sefa on. I foolishly believed we were still allies.”

“You couldn’t have known, Morgana. I don’t understand why any sorcerer would want to do you harm, or even Arthur, since you’ve brought magic back to Camelot.”

“I don’t fully understand it myself. From what I can piece together, they believe Arthur is still a threat to magic somehow. Perhaps becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. If sorcerers with ill-intent don’t stand down, I fear Arthur may regret his decision.”

“Arthur knows the good your magic, and Merlin’s, can bring. He won’t be his father,” Gwen said, opening the door for her. “I’ve already found a replacement for Sefa, she’ll start tomorrow. Tonight, I’ll take care of you,” Gwen said, giving her a sympathetic smile.

“Thank you, Gwen,” she said, tiredly. “And I’m sorry for anything I said that may have been hurtful when I was enchanted.”

“Think nothing of it. I know you, and I know your heart. That’s how I knew something was amiss.”

They entered her room, and Morgana wanted nothing more than to just fall into bed, but she was filthy. Gwen had already filled the tub, so Morgana heated the water with magic. She asked Gwen to stay so she wouldn’t fall asleep.

“I know you’re tired, Morgana, but is everything all right? You seem upset,” Gwen asked, helping wash her hair.

“My brother and my sister are enemies, Gwen,” she said with a sigh. “I will lose one of them by the end.”

“I’m so sorry. I know you love her, and although she’s betrayed you in a terrible way, she’s still your sister.”

“Arthur doesn’t understand. I think… I know… he would have stopped loving me if I had tried to conquer Camelot, as in my original visions,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “But I don’t want my heart hardened the way it was when I hated Arthur and wanted to be Queen. I don’t want to hate one of my siblings.”

“You’re afraid you’ll become that person, but this time with your sister as your enemy instead of Arthur,” Gwen realized. “Oh, Morgana.”

“That darkness is within me, and I don’t want it to grow,” she said, wiping away her tears.

“It won’t. I won’t let it. I know the person you are, and I’ll never let it happen,” Gwen said.

“Thank you,” she said, gratefully.

“Here, let’s get you dressed and into bed,” Gwen said, putting a robe around Morgana.

Morgana settled into bed and Gwen bid her goodnight. A few moments later, she heard the faint knocking. _It’s me, _Merlin told her.

She unlatched her door with a flick of her wrist, and he entered.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” Morgana said, sleepily.

“Where else would I be?” he asked, sliding into the bed beside her, and pulling her close.

She sighed happily, just being next to him made everything seem more bearable.

“Sleep, my love. There are only good things ahead. Tomorrow, we will hatch Aithusa,” Merlin said.

She murmured happily, relaxing and drifting off to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

_Merlin, it’s time_, he heard his father say.

He woke Morgana gently.

“Is it morning? It’s still dark,” she asked, groggily.

“It’s still long before sunrise, my love. But it’s time to hatch our dragon. Father has called Kilgharrah. We’re to meet him in the field outside the castle,” he said, quickly dressing.

She dressed herself quickly, and grabbed a cloak.

They walked to the field, to join Balinor, as well as Arthur, Gwen, Gaius, Kara, and several of the Knights.

“Please don’t be nervous when the Great Dragon arrives,” Balinor said, holding the egg. “He cannot harm you, not under my control.”

Arthur nodded, although he looked far from comfortable.

Just then, they heard wings flapping and an unexpected breeze. There in front of them, appeared an enormous dragon, landing gracefully onto the field. Everyone was speechless.

“Good evening, King Arthur, Once and Future King of Camelot. Am I to understand you approve of bringing another dragon into the world?” Kilgharrah said.

“Uh, yes. We found the egg with the intention of hatching it,” Arthur said, clearly discomforted by the giant dragon.

“It is truly a sight to see, you shall not be disappointed, King Arthur,” he said. “You are on the path to undoing the damage to Camelot by your father’s purge.”

“It is time,” Balinor said. “Son, would you care to do the honors?”

“Me? But you’re the Dragonlord,” Merlin said.

“As are you. Go on.”

“I… what do I do?” he asked, looking at the egg with wonder.

“Call her by name from the egg,” he said, handing Merlin the egg.

Merlin looked at Morgana, who was waiting breathlessly. He held up the egg and shouted, “Aithusa!”

He felt the egg rumble from within, until the shell began to crack. The shell broke away until a tiny white dragon emerged, blinking as though she’d just awoken from a long nap.

Morgana gasped with delight. “Aithusa! My darling girl!”

The dragon looked at her and chirped happily.

“Do I have your word the young dragon is safe in Camelot, King Arthur?” Kilgharrah asked.

“Yes, as are you. You have my word,” Arthur said.

Balinor nodded. “The old agreements are restored, Kilgharrah. You have safe passage once again, old friend.”

“I will return when the time comes to teach Aithusa the old ways. Until then, I trust she will be safe in the witch’s care during her infancy,” Kilgharrah said.

“I will take very good care of her,” Morgana said, stroking her head as she chirped.

With that, Kilgharrah left them to care for the baby dragon.

. . .

“It’s remarkable how bonded the dragon is to you, Morgana,” Merlin commented, looking at his future wife, and _her dragon_, with amusement. “Perhaps you are of the dragonlord lineage yourself; certainly more powerful than me.”

“I suspect Aithusa knows Morgana well. She would have seen the same visions, even from within her egg. Dragons are great seers,” Balinor said. “She’s connected to her in a way I’ve never seen with one who is not of our lineage.”

“I’m glad you’re here to help with her care, there’s so much I don’t know. In my visions, Aithusa never learned to talk. But I could communicate with her anyway. I could sense her, as she could sense me,” Morgana said, feeding the little dragon pieces of raw meat from her hand. It seemed to make Arthur a bit queasy, which was even more incentive for her to do it. She grinned as he winced every time the little dragon gobbled up more meat and then sloppily licked Morgana’s palm clean.

“She can certainly learn to speak, in time,” Balinor said, scratching Aithusa on the head now that her belly was full. The little dragon belched and a little puff of fire came out, enough to light a candle.

Arthur cringed in disgust. “Is that really necessary?”

“What?” Morgana asked innocently.

“Your dragon! Eating at the dinner table! Belching fire!” he said with horror. Gwen stifled a smile with her napkin.

Morgana looked at him with indignation. “She’s just a baby! And your table manners are hardly exemplary, Arthur Pendragon. At least Aithusa has an excuse,” she said, cooing at Aithusa as though he had hurt the little dragon’s feelings.

Arthur stuffed a large roll into his mouth and sulked. 

“Kara,” Morgana turned to her ward. “Merlin and I are meeting with a local Druid leader tomorrow, and I wondered if you wanted to accompany us. We are looking for someone to officiate our marriage ceremony. Maybe there’s someone there you know, or who could at least give you clues about your family.”

Kara nodded, looking down at her plate.

Morgana smiled warmly at the young girl sitting across the table from her, next to Gwen. “Regardless of what you find out, if you don’t want to stay with them, or wherever your people are, you are welcome to stay with us. Continue your studies with Gaius,” she said.

“I don’t wish to be a burden,” Kara said, unsure.

“Nonsense, we enjoy your company, and Gaius enjoys having you around,” Merlin said. “Morgana and I don’t have as much time to help him these days, and he could definitely use the help.”

Gwen chimed in. “We all enjoy your company, Kara. We’d be happy for you to stay. And if you choose not to, we certainly hope you’ll visit often.”

“Thank you. I’m happy here as well,” she smiled brightly.

“Kara,” Arthur began, hesitating.

“Yes, Sire?” she turned to him.

“Would you tell us about your upbringing in the Druid camp?” he asked, then hesitated again. “You don’t have to. I understand if the loss of your family is too painful to discuss even the happy memories.”

She smiled sadly. “What would you like to know, Sire?”

“Learning magic. Are Druid children taught by their parents, or are there instructors?”

“A combination. We’re taught magic just as we’re taught language, and writing, and other skills. If we show a particular talent, we might be chosen to study further with one of the Druid Elders, or we may just continue to be taught by our parents.”

“Do all Druids have magic?”

“To some degree. It may not be powerful, but it’s present in all of us, we’re all capable of magic. Even you, Sire.”

Arthur looked surprised at that. “Surely not.”

“Magic lives within you. You were born of magic, were you not, Sire? The Druids speak of it. The King who would unite us, born of magic, would bring magic back to Albion. I have to admit, I didn’t believe it myself, not after my parents were killed by your father. I thought…” she looked down at her lap.

Arthur frowned. “You thought I would continue where he left off. I understand why you would think that. For years, I carried out my father’s orders, to persecute your people. And for that, I am truly sorry.”

She nodded. “I believe in you now, Sire.”

Arthur smiled. “I am honored to have your faith.”

“I believe it’s time for dessert,” Gwen said, gesturing to the servants. They brought in a beautiful cake, in the shape of a dragon.

“Oh look, Aithusa, my darling, it’s you!” Morgana exclaimed, holding up the little dragon to see. Aithusa yawned and curled up on Morgana’s lap, closing her eyes. “Well, I’m impressed at least,” she laughed.

. . .

The next day, they took a trip to find the nearest Druid settlement. Morgana provided Kara with new riding gear, and Arthur had decided he would go as well, in order to assure the Druids they were finally safe in Camelot. Morgana mounted her horse, wearing Aithusa bundled up in a sling like a human baby. When Merlin teased the possibility of Morgana nursing the baby dragon, Arthur threatened to banish them both, riding off ahead of them as Merlin laughed.

Kara rode beside Merlin, asking him questions about some spells she was working through with Gaius. When they stopped to water the horses, being close to the last known location of the Druid camp, Merlin helped Kara with some spell work, and Morgana took the opportunity to talk to Arthur. Aithusa took the opportunity to stretch her wings and do some flying, interested in what Merlin and Kara were doing.

“Arthur, you still seem… discontent with me since I was enchanted,” she began. “Is there something I can do to make it better between us?”

“The only thing standing between us is Morgause,” Arthur said, staring straight ahead.

She sighed. “What would you have me do?”

He turned to look her. “Stop meeting with her for starters. She may be your sister, but she’s not your friend. She poisoned your mind! And I almost lost you!” he shouted. He didn’t have to look back to know Merlin and Kara had stopped casting, looking up at his outburst. They exchanged a glance and walked further downstream.

“But you haven’t lost me,” she said, reaching for him.

He held her hand tightly. “Maybe not this time. But the visions you had, of us both dying on the battlefield of Camlann…”

“That won’t come to pass, not now. I haven’t dreamed of it in so long, even before Morgause gave me the bracelet,” she assured him.

He shook his head. “That’s not even what I fear. I fear losing you to Morgause. I fear you leaving me and taking up arms with her. I fear having to fight the only family I have left.”

“Then don’t push me away, Brother. You have only to tell me your fears so I can allay them. I made you a promise, that I will always be by your side, and I intend to keep it.”

He nodded. She sighed, and hugged him. He relaxed in her embrace. “You won’t lose me. I will be faithful to you.”

Looking over Morgana’s head, Arthur gasped, causing Morgana to turn and look. “We mean no harm!” he exclaimed.

Morgana put up a hand and deflected the arrow released towards them. “We come in peace, _a_ _chàirdean_,” she said.

“Morgana?” a voice said, emerging from the trees.

He was much older, practically a grown man, but she would recognize him anywhere.

“Mordred?” she gasped, straining to see him better. “Is it really you?”

His face broke into a huge smile as she ran forward to hug him. “Look at you! You’ve grown up! You’re a man now!”

“Thanks to you and Arthur,” he said, smiling down at her tenderly. He looked over at Arthur and nodded. “Sire.”

“Mordred, we are here on a diplomatic mission. Now that I am King, I’m here to make amends for the harm my father, and I, have caused your people.”

He looked surprised at that. “I will take you to Aglain. Follow me.”

“Oh, first, we need to find Merlin and Kara,” Morgana said. She called to them. _It’s safe to return, Arthur and I have resolved our differences. And we’ve found the Druids._

Waiting for their companions, Morgana and Mordred continued to catch up, sharing stories and laughing.

“Ah, Merlin and Kara have returned,” Arthur interrupted, pointing. Mordred stared in confusion. “Yes, Merlin is still as stupid as he looks,” Arthur said, seeing Mordred’s expression of bewilderment. “And Morgana has a flying lizard as a pet. She lets it eat at the table with us, it’s quite disgusting.” Morgana rolled her eyes.

“No, that’s… that couldn’t be… when you said Kara, I didn’t realize,” Mordred said with emotion. “She’s alive.”

“Oh, you know her?” Morgana asked brightly. “That’s wonderful. We were hoping to reconnect her with her people.”

“She disappeared years ago, along with her parents. We feared the worst,” he said, watching her approach, as she talked and laughed with Merlin.

“The worst did happen; her parents were executed by my father’s order,” Arthur said, sadly. “You have that in common.”

“Mordred?” Kara said suddenly, seeing him for the first time. She broke out into a smile, and ran to embrace him.

“It really is you,” he said into her hair, gripping her tightly.

Merlin looked at Morgana questioningly. _I’ll explain later_, she said.

Morgana cleared her throat. “Shall we go and find Aglain?”

Mordred pulled away, blushing. “Yes, yes, of course. Follow me.”

The Druids were shocked to be welcoming them into their camp. King Arthur, The Great Uniter, they called him. Emrys and the Sorceress Morgana. And their long lost child, Kara. An impromptu celebration was declared in their honor, with music and dancing. Morgan and Merlin were mesmerized by being there with the Druids, who were their kin. It was so different than either of their upbringings: Morgana’s in a cold, formal court, and Merlin’s as a peasant in a farming community. They soaked up all they could, in appreciating their culture, while Arthur made assurances for their economic involvement in Camelot. Others, however, spent their time reconnecting.

“They’re obviously sweet on each other,” Morgana whispered to Merlin at the camp fire that evening, nodding towards Kara and Mordred. “I’m afraid we might lose her after all.”

“Probably for the best. She belongs with her people,” he said with a sad smile.

“I wonder what it would have been like,” Morgana said. “If we’d been raised among magic users. Have you ever wondered?”

“Often,” he said, squeezing her hand.

“I don’t want to leave Arthur, certainly, we belong at his side. But I still want that, for our children, to have what we didn’t, that sense of community.”

“We’ll build our own community,” he said. “The Druids don’t have to live in the shadows any longer, no magic user does.”

Aglain approached them, bringing a plate of sweet fruits, and scraps of meat for Aithusa. “I hear congratulations are in order, that the two of you are to be bound.”

“Yes, we’d hoped you would be willing to perform our ceremony. We wish to be married in the Old Religion,” Morgana said.

“I would be honored. I have been told by our best seer that you are to become a High Priestess. Your power will be unmatched by any but Emrys.”

“Even my sister, Morgause?” she asked, skeptically.

“Morgause is formidable, but her ambitions will be her undoing,” he said.

“I don’t wish to see her undone. I wish to see her as our ally, as Arthur’s ally,” Morgana frowned. “But she has already betrayed my trust.”

“There is a great war coming, you have already seen it, Morgana. Loyalties can change, but the war is always there.”

“War is always there,” she agreed sadly.

“In the meantime, we celebrate our newfound freedom from fear in Camelot and work to build a future that will survive the dark times ahead. And, of course, celebrate your nuptials,” Aglain said, drinking from his cup.

They spent the night in the Druid camp, celebrating, while Arthur spoke with the Druid elders about his plans for integration. In the morning, it was time to leave, and Morgana pulled Kara aside as they packed the horses.

“If you wish to stay, Kara, you are welcome to do so. These are your people, your family. Just know that Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, Gaius and I, we are your family too, and you will always have a place with us,” she said, smoothing a loose strand of the girl’s hair.

“I wish to return with you, at least for now. I want to study more with Gaius,” she smiled.

Morgana hugged her. “Selfishly, I’m so glad.”

Mordred approached Arthur. “Sire. Morgana tells me the Knights of Camelot are no longer restricted to nobility.”

“That is correct,” Arthur said.

“Does that include those with magic?” he asked.

Arthur raised his eyebrows. “I don’t see why not. Magic is now legal, and those with magic have the same rights as all others.”

“Then I want to be a Knight,” Mordred said, breathlessly. “I want to serve you, and Camelot.”

Arthur smiled. “Then you should return with us and train, to prepare for the challenge of knighthood.”

The color drained from Merlin’s face.


	28. Chapter 28

Merlin woke up to the sound of Morgana screaming.

“Morgana! Wake up!” he said, gripping her tightly as she thrashed. She opened her eyes and they lit up gold. Her magic threw him off the bed.

“Ow,” he said, as he slumped on the floor. Aithusa awoke with an angry squawk as he jostled her small featherbed with his fall.

“Merlin! I’m so sorry!” she said, realizing what she had done. “Are you hurt?”

“I wasn’t expecting that,” he said, staring up at the ceiling.

“Oh, my love, I’m so sorry,” she said, kneeling next to him on the floor and examining him for any injuries.

“I’m guessing that was a vision?” Merlin said, pulling himself up when she’d finished.

She sighed, hugging herself to quell her shaking. “Nothing in the immediate future at least.”

“Tell me,” he said, gently.

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. “Morgause stabs me and I die on the battlefield.”

“Oh Morgana,” he said, pulling her to him.

“I don’t know that I can change that future so easily as I did the original,” she frowned. “Maybe no matter what, I’m supposed to die on that field.”

“Then don’t step foot onto that field,” Merlin said firmly, pulling away to look at her. “Morgana, I won’t ask much of you as your husband, but I will ask this of you. I’ll ask that you don’t fight on that battlefield. The easiest way of not dying there is to not go there in the first place.”

“It won’t be that simple,” she said softly. “Just as you are, I’m sworn to protect my king.”

“You die protecting Arthur,” he exhaled.

“And before you say it, you can’t just take my place. Let’s be honest, if in my dream, you aren’t by his side, something is already amiss,” she said, pointedly.

He ran a hand over his face in frustration. “Is it Mordred? Is he going to betray Arthur? Will he kill Arthur?”

“Merlin, no! We’ve been over this,” she said with a scowl.

“Kilgharrah said…”

“That damned old dragon said the same thing about me though, didn’t he?” she snapped. She let out another slow breath before she continued. “I just don’t understand how you can’t trust Mordred. He’s proven himself a loyal ally.”

“For now. He was a loyal ally to Arthur in your original vision too, until he wasn’t,” he said, with venom in his voice.

“Yes. Because of me!" she said, then sighed. "And because of Kara. But I’ve changed that. Kara was the linchpin. Finding her, changing her fate, it’s changed Mordred’s. It’s changing Arthur’s. I hope, at least. Because war is coming to Camelot, and I don’t think we can stop it. We just need to prepare for it.”

“The sides may change, but the war itself remains the same,” Merlin sighed, repeating the Druid leader’s sentiment.

Morgana nodded, and took his hands in hers. “Come, my love, let’s dress and break our fast. We'll worry of this another time.”

. . .

Morgana stood with Gwen watching Arthur train with the knights, a group which now included Mordred. Mordred sparred with Iain, while Merlin sparred with Lancelot.

“Merlin seems to have found his stride, I’ve never seen him so sure-footed. Is he using magic?”

Morgana shook her head. “He’s propelled by fear.”

She explained her dream and what had happened that morning.

Gwen frowned. “Do you have any idea when this war is coming?”

“Not for a while, at least. There’s a wedding band on my finger, so it’s after we’ve wed. On Arthur’s too.”

Gwen nodded. “So we have time to prepare. Who’s the enemy?”

“Beyond my sister? I think the Saxons. Cenred. Odin. Sarrum. Helios. Alined.”

“Together?" she gasped. "How is that even possible she could unite them? That’s a formidable army with their numbers combined. Do we have allies?”

“Very few. Godwyn. Bayard. Caerleon. Rodor,” Morgana listed. “Some Druid soldiers.”

Gwen looked stunned. “That isn’t enough.”

“No,” she agreed, grimly.

“That means we need to bring some of Morgause’s allies to our side. Possibilities of turning any of them?”

“Odin, obviously not. Cenred’s in love with my sister, although she has no affection for him. The Sarrum hates magic, and I would sooner see him dead than ally with him. Frankly, I don’t know how she would obtain an alliance at all. Helios and Alined can’t be trusted, but could prove useful. The wild card here is Agravaine. If I can keep his alliance, I believe he can deliver more allies.”

“But he hates Arthur, it’s why you wanted him sent away in the first place.”

“He doesn’t hate me though,” Morgana countered.

“Has that changed since you’re marrying Merlin? You know how he looks at you,” Gwen said, her distaste apparent.

Morgana frowned. “Possibly.”

“I received a letter from Elyan. They’re returning just in time for your wedding, and they’ll be traveling with our new allies, including Princess Mithian.”

“Let’s extend the wedding invitations to our prospective allies. Perhaps we can win them over after all. And perhaps I can still win over Agravaine. I fear I haven't any other choice but to succeed in that.”

. . .

“Perhaps you could join us tomorrow on the hunt, Lord Balinor?” Arthur suggested, gesturing to his manservant George for a refill on his wine.

“I would be delighted, Sire,” Balinor answered, accepting a refill as well. “Merlin, will you be coming?”

“No, Father, I’m afraid I will be training,” Merlin said, scowling at George as he didn’t refill his cup but walked away instead.

“I have to say, Merlin, you actually weren’t terrible today. You even got a few hits on Lancelot, which is impressive. Perhaps you aren’t hopeless after all. Are you sure you weren’t using magic?” Arthur asked, accepting another helping of potatoes.

“Of course not. You’ve forbidden me from using magic during training, remember?” Merlin said, wiping his mouth on the napkin.

“And when have you ever followed my orders?” Arthur gave a wry grin. “Mordred trained well today, I think.”

“He did,” Morgana agreed, feeding the rest of her meat to Aithusa, who was gobbling it noisily. “I think he and Iain are both ready, don’t you agree?”

“You are probably right, but no need to rush it. I want to be certain they are both ready for the challenges of knighthood,” Arthur said.

“Very wise, Sire,” Merlin agreed. Morgana shot him a look.

“I beg your pardon, Sire, but there is a woman at the gate asking for Lord Merlin,” a guard said, entering the dining hall.

Morgana raised her eyebrows, questioning teasingly.

“Did she give her name?” Merlin asked.

“Hunith, My Lord,” he said.

“Mother’s here early!” Merlin said, leaving the table and rushing out. Morgana caught Balinor’s eye, who looked suddenly uncomfortable.

_Surely this will be a happy reunion, My Lord? _she asked him.

_Although I have missed her as though I have missed part of my very soul, I fear she will not be pleased to see me, my dear, _he replied.

She gave him a sympathetic smile and a squeeze of his hand. She handed Aithusa to him so the hungry little dragon could finish her meal, before joining Merlin to greet his mother.

. . .

“Mother!” Merlin said, hugging her tightly.

“Let me look at you,” she pulled away. “Such finery. You look like a proper Lord.”

“Doesn’t he though?” Morgana smiled. “We’re so relieved you’ve made the journey safely. We didn’t expect you for at least another fortnight.”

Hunith hugged her. “I simply couldn’t wait any longer to come. I was overjoyed to learn that you will be my daughter. If I could have chosen any woman in the world for my dear son, it would have been you.”

“Thank you. I am honored you approve,” she said sincerely. “There is no better man than the one you raised, Mother Hunith.”

“We’ve already eaten supper, Mother, but you must be famished and exhausted. We’ll show you to your room,” Merlin said, assisting her with her belongings.

Morgana found her new handmaiden, Eilidh, and had her arrange for a hot bath and a meal.

“Mother, there’s something you should know. We have some exciting news,” Merlin said, practically trembling with excitement.

Morgana tried not to cringe, knowing what was coming.

The color left Hunith’s face, as she looked from Merlin to Morgana’s abdomen. “Merlin, you didn’t! Is that why you’re…”

“What?” Merlin asked, confused.

Morgana laughed. “No, I’m not, I assure you. Not yet, but hopefully soon enough.”

Hunith sighed with relief. “Well, as much of a blessing that will be, I would hate to know my son ruined a lady’s reputation.”

Merlin flushed red, realizing what she had assumed. “No, Mother! The news is that Father is here!”

Hunith looked stunned. “Your Father?”

“Yes! Balinor! He’s here!”

“He’s not dead?” she said, incredulous.

“When I freed the Great Dragon, he went to him, to tell him it was safe to return to Camelot.”

She looked enraged. “That bastard.”

Merlin looked confused.

Hunith flushed red with anger. “He’s been out there all this time with nary a word? I thought he must be dead!”

“I’m sure he was just protecting you,” Merlin said. Morgana shook her head slightly. _Merlin_, she warned.

“Protecting me? He said once he got somewhere safe, he would send for me. I never heard from him again!” Hunith’s eyes filled with tears. Morgana took her hand.

“What he did was wrong,” Morgana said. “He hurt you, even if it was to protect you. And unknowingly, protecting Merlin.”

Merlin looked like he was going to speak again, and Morgana shot him a look.

“He left Ealdor before he even knew I was pregnant, leaving in the middle of the night, because there was word Uther’s men were coming for him. I begged to go with him, but he wouldn’t allow it. He said it was too dangerous. He promised that when it was safe, he would send for me, and I would join him. I didn’t hear from him, and I had no way of telling him you even existed. Even so, I hadn’t given up hope, that we would join him, leave Ealdor, be a family. But word never came, so I believed him dead. Why else wouldn’t he have sent for me?” she said, furiously wiping the tears from her face.

“I can only imagine how you must have felt. To believe the man you love, the father of your child, is dead. And now, to know that he’s still alive, but never returned to you. You don’t have to see him, at least not right away, if you don’t want to. He’s going on the hunt tomorrow with Arthur, so he’ll be gone,” Morgana said.

Hunith nodded.

“This is a lot to process, I know. I feel terrible. We should have told you before you made the journey. He’s only just arrived a few weeks ago, and, well, I had some family difficulties myself recently,” Morgana sighed.

“Oh no, dear, it certainly isn’t your fault,” Hunith said, squeezing her hand. “You couldn’t have known the history. And I never told you the truth, Merlin, or at least what I thought was the truth.”

“You told me enough of the truth, that he had died, which is what you believed. I’m sorry, Mother. I didn’t realize having him here would cause you pain. I’ll send him away, if you prefer,” he said, kneeling before her.

She gave him a teary smile and ran her hand across his forehead. “No, certainly not! You finally have your father, and you deserve that, after all this time. And perhaps, in time, instead of resentment, I will feel joy that Balinor is alive after all.”

“If it helps, Lord Balinor wants to see you. He never wed, just as you never did. He still loves you,” Morgana said.

She shook her head as though she could rid them of such thoughts. “Lord? When your father ordered Balinor’s arrest and execution, his land was seized and title forfeited. He isn’t Lord of anything.”

Morgana squeezed her hand. “Arthur has restored his land and title. Lord Balinor will live quite comfortably.”

“As will you, Mother. Whether you go with him, or you live here with us.”

“Or at Tintagel Castle, if you prefer,” Morgana offered. “It’s a lovely castle by the sea, where I was raised. It’s where we will eventually raise your grandchildren.”

Hunith smiled dreamily at the idea of grandchildren, then shook herself thinking about castles and finery. “What do I know about being around proper folk? It’s just all so overwhelming. I’ve lived my life as a peasant.”

“Now you’re Mother to the Duke of Cornwall.”

“And mother-in-law to the Princess of Camelot,” Morgana smiled.

“And you could be the Lady of Glencoe,” Merlin said, hopefully.

“Wife of a scoundrel? I should think not. But I am blessed, indeed,” she said, touching Merlin’s cheek. “I don’t know if I can forgive your father, but for your sake, I will be cordial.”

“Mother Hunith, your journey was long. We will let you rest. My handmaiden Eilidh will be in shortly to bring your supper and prepare your bath if you so desire. Please let me know if there is anything further we can provide for your comfort,” she said, rising.

“Thank you, my dear,” Hunith said, embracing them both. Merlin held the door as Eilidh brought in the supper tray.

“You knew this wouldn’t be a happy reunion, didn’t you?” Merlin frowned, as he closed the door behind him.

“Indeed. Your father’s reaction to news of her arrival was telling,” Morgana said, slipping her hand in his arm. “He knows what he’s done. It will be up to him to make it right.”

“Now that my mother is here, I suppose, um,” Merlin said, looking at her door with a defeated expression.

“Yes, I suppose it won’t do for your mother to catch us sharing sleeping quarters, despite the King’s tolerance for my overnight guest,” Morgana grinned. “I guess we’ll be back to sneaking around.”

“Well, we did a rather terrible job of that, now didn’t we?” he laughed, pulling her close and kissing her.

“Mmm, well, I believe your mother is currently occupied with her supper and bath…” she said, opening her door, and pulling him into her quarters.

. . .

The next morning, Arthur and Balinor left before dawn, and Merlin spent the morning in the training yard with the knights. Hunith spent the morning with Gaius, while Morgana and Gwen heard another exhausting day of cattle disputes in Court. To give Gaius and Hunith privacy, Kara joined them in Court, and quickly realized being a royal could be quite terrible.

“That was dreadfully boring,” Kara lamented as they sat down for lunch. “Is it always so bad?”

“Not always, but often enough that it makes me miss being a lady’s maid,” Gwen laughed.

Morgana laughed as well. “At least there will be four of us now to handle royal duties. If the men ever stop running off on adventures.”

“Where is Merlin anyway?” Gwen asked. “I thought he and his mother would join us for lunch?”

“He probably needed to bathe first, and I did ask Eilidh to fit Hunith for new gowns. They should be here shortly,” Morgana said. “Aithusa is with Merlin, and I’m sure she’s starving by now. She won’t let him dally.”

At that, the little dragon soared into the room, and took her seat at the table, next to Morgana.

“Ah, there is my beautiful darling now,” Morgana cooed, scratching her head. “Are you ready for your dinner, my sweet girl?”

Aithusa gave a squeaky little roar and bounced happily.

The servants brought out raw meat for the hungry dragon, which she gobbled up greedily.

Merlin soon walked in, his mother on his arm. She was dressed in a new gown, newly-fitted by Morgana’s handmaiden.

“Mother Hunith, you look splendid,” Morgana said, standing up to greet her. “You remember Gwen, of course, she is now my lady-in-waiting. This is Kara, she is my ward. And this darling girl is Aithusa, the prettiest girl in all of Camelot.”

“Good afternoon, ladies,” Merlin said, pushing in his mother’s chair and taking his seat beside Aithusa. “I see I have been replaced by a dragon, who gets her own chair now?”

“Yes, she has unfortunately outgrown my lap. She needs her own seat at the table,” Morgana said, scratching Aithusa on the head.

“Arthur will be delighted,” Merlin smiled.

“I know,” Morgana said, clearly pleased with herself, as they began to eat their lunch.

. . .

Morgana kept Hunith busy that afternoon by involving her with the wedding planning, an opportunity for them to bond. They were in her room when they heard the announcement that the King had returned. Hunith paled.

“You don’t have to dine with us tonight if you wish. Perhaps you would rather have a private reunion with Lord Balinor, sort things out between you first?”

“Yes, I do believe I would rather. I don’t wish to cause tension. Merlin is so happy, marrying you, being accepted for his magic, and he finally has his father. Things should remain celebratory, not have a dark cloud hanging over it. I will make my peace with Balinor and lay any animosity to rest for Merlin’s sake,” she said determinedly.

“That is most gracious of you, Mother Hunith,” Morgana said, embracing her. “I will arrange for Lord Balinor to meet you in your chambers this evening for a private supper.”

Eilidh knocked and entered carrying a gown, bobbing a curtsy. “Milady, the alterations on Mistress Hunith’s gown is complete.”

“Thank you, Eilidh. Would you be so kind as to take Mistress Hunith to her chambers and dress her for supper?”

“Yes, Milady,” she said, and Hunith followed her out.

. . .

“So, they’re dining together?” Merlin asked, wide-eyed. “Is that wise?”

“They need to sort out their differences,” Morgana said, fork-feeding Aithusa a piece of mutton. Arthur rolled his eyes and dropped his head into his left hand with a groan. “What? You don’t agree, Arthur?”

He scowled. “I agree about Balinor and Hunith. What I don’t agree with is that damned drag…”

“Arthur,” Gwen warned.

“Forks! A ridiculous utensil in the first place, and now it’s being used to, ow!” he said, as Gwen kicked him under the table. He grumbled, taking a long drink of wine.

Mordred entered the room, giving a quick bow. “Sire, I was asked to report. Lord Balinor and Mistress Hunith…”

Merlin paled. “Oh no.”

“There’s a lot of yelling. And throwing things,” he said. “The guards checked on them and there were no injuries, but seemed to be a lot of broken pottery.”

“There is nothing in those chambers that can’t be replaced,” Morgana said with a wry grin. “Let them work through their anger, they’ll be better off for it.”

“Yes, Milady,” he said. He gave Kara a shy smile and took his leave.

“Are you still sure that’s wise?” Merlin asked.

“Trust me,” Morgana said. “They need to get on the other side of the anger, and then maybe with time, your mother will be glad he is alive.”

“I hope so,” Merlin said, frowning.

“It’s a marvelous thing, for you to have both your parents, Merlin,” Arthur said. “Even if one currently hates the other, at least you have them both in your life.”

Merlin nodded, with a sad smile. He was the only person at the table who even had one of his parents, let alone both. Arthur never knew his mother and he and Morgana had lost their father. Morgana couldn’t remember her mother, and lost the man she believed to be her family. Gwen’s mother died when she was young, and of course Uther had killed her father, as well as both of Kara’s parents. Yes, he was lucky indeed.

After supper, he escorted Morgana to her chambers. They walked passed his mother’s chambers, where they could still hear the echoes of their argument. The guards had back a respectful distance away so as to not be able to hear their words, and Merlin and Morgana stayed away as well.

“It will be okay, my love,” she said. “I’m sure with time, she will grow to forgive him.”

Merlin nodded, and kissed her goodnight, to return to his chambers for the evening.

Morgana spent the evening writing more letters to potential allies, in hopes that when the time came, they would be better prepared to face their enemies.

. . .

“Milady, please,” Sefa begged. “I’ll do anything.”

Gwen stared at the girl icily. She couldn’t deny she felt a small amount of pity for her, having been in the dungeon for weeks. The wards put up by Morgana and Merlin were impenetrable, but her father had not even attempted a rescue, likely knowing it was a trap.

“Your father has abandoned you. Your Order has abandoned you,” she said.

The girl nodded, her eyes filled with tears.

“You’re finally set to be executed in three days’ time. The King has so ordered it. However, I may be able to convince him to stay your execution if you help me infiltrate the Order.”

“But my father… I won’t bring harm to him. You can’t possibly ask me to…”

“No harm will come to your father, at least not on purpose. But I do guarantee that if you betray us, you will die a traitor to Camelot, and your death will be a painful one. All we want is to stop the war from coming. We want to stop the bloodshed of innocents.”

Sefa nodded. “We, Milady?”

Merlin stepped out of the shadows. “I need your help to save my wife.”


	29. Chapter 29

“Merlin, are you sure this will work?” Gwen sniffed the potion suspiciously.

“I mean, I’m sort of sure,” Merlin admitted sheepishly. “Remember the troll Uther nearly married? This was her potion. I don’t know exactly how it will work on a human, but…”

“Merlin!” Gwen groaned. “You’d better get this right! And I’d better not turn into a troll!”

“I’m sure you won’t turn into a troll!” Merlin said, muttering “Mostly” under his breath.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Gwen said, giving him a dour look and shaking her head. They each held up their vials and drank them.

Gwen’s skin began to lighten and she felt her body stretch taller and grow thinner. Her hair felt different, thinner and shorter, and when she cleared her throat, her voice was different too.

Merlin, on the other hand, transformed into an elderly man, with long white hair and a matching beard.

“Ah ha!” Merlin said, looking at his wrinkled hands, and then examining a straight lock of Gwen’s light brown hair. He guided her to a looking glass on the counter. “See? No need to doubt me!”

Gwen examined her reflection, surprised to see Sefa’s face staring back at her. “Incredible. I stand corrected. I should have known better than to doubt you, Merlin.”

“It won’t last forever, so we’d better get going,” he said, his voice creaky with age.

Following Sefa’s directions, Merlin and Gwen made their way to The Order. Gwen, as Sefa, looked ragged. Her hair was now tangled, and she was filthy, with her clothes torn. Merlin had used magic to bruise her wrists and ankles to appear as though she had been shackled in the dungeon.

She looked so terrible, Sefa’s father nearly didn’t recognize her.

“Daughter! Is that truly you?” he said, shocked. “How did you escape?”

“I freed her from that brute’s dungeon since her worthless father didn’t,” Merlin said.

“And who the bloody hell are you?” Ruadan demanded.

“The Great Dragoon, you worthless trout,” Merlin said, getting up in the man’s face. Ruadan backed away, clearly offended by his terrible breath, a mixture of rotting teeth and onion.

“He saved me, Father!” Gwen said, weakly. “He was a prisoner too, and he got us both out.”

“Come, child,” an older woman said, appearing from the shadows. She give Ruadan a hard look before shooing Gwen away with her. “Let’s get you fed and into a bath.”

Merlin coughed to cover his surprise at seeing her. _Alice_.

“I suppose you want some reward for your trouble, Old Man?” Ruadan said, sitting at the dining table.

“Why? You resent paying a reward for the return of your child? You think she’s not worth it?” Merlin asked with a grunt.

“Not at all, I’m pleased to have the girl returned. But how did you overcome the wards put up by the King’s traitorous sorcerers?”

“Because I’m not an idiot or a coward,” he grumbled. “Are you really so weak, you’re outwitted by the magic of a mere girl and some serving boy she’s marrying? Perhaps I’ve come to the wrong place to offer my assistance. You’re beyond help.”

“Assistance?” Ruadan asked. “What assistance could you possibly offer me?”

Merlin sneered at him. “This is The Order of the Triple Goddess, is it not? Taking down the Pendragon dynasty?”

“And what have you against the Pendragons?”

“I’m a sorcerer, you half-witted bampot. What do you think I’ve got against the Pendragons?” he said, pointing his crooked finger in Ruadan’s face. “So, tell me, do you actually have a plan, or am I in the wrong place?”

Ruadan looked at him with disdain. “You think I would share that with you? A stranger?”

“Gah,” Merlin hissed. “Worthless. I’ll just kill the idiot king myself. I don’t need to be bothered with amateurs playing at magic.”

He moved towards the door pushing the other sorcerer out of the way with his staff.

“Dragoon, wait. It is a sacred war we wage against the Pendragons, to preserve magic,” Ruadan said. “But I need to know I can trust you. I don’t know you.”

“Morgause does. Where is she?” he said, looking around.

“She’s not here, she won’t return until her sister’s wedding,” he said.

“Is that so? Well, she’ll be disappointed to know she’ll miss out, when I kill her traitor sister as well as the king,” Merlin said.

“The Princess isn’t to be harmed,” Ruadan said. “The Triple Goddess wishes her to rule, according to Morgause.”

“Is that so? Replace one retched Pendragon for another?” he spat. “So, that’s your endgame? Why? What difference does it make?”

“Morgana’s rule will legitimize magic, and prevent the myth of Arthur from rising. His legend will be the end of magic.”

“The end of magic? How? What difference does it make which Pendragon you keep alive, sitting useless on a throne? Where is this nonsense coming from?” Merlin demanded.

Ruadan sighed. “The Diamair, the key to all knowledge. Morgause was given the prophesy, about the legend of Arthur, and the death of magic. She holds a book, a history of a future kingdom called Britain, that tells of the destruction of magic with the rise of the new religion.”

“The death of magic?” Merlin said, confused. “How?”

“Arthur may have had a change of heart about magic due to his sister, but history will not. Arthur’s reign will be looked upon as bringing the New Religion to dominance in Albion, and magic will die. It will make Uther’s reign seem kind in comparison. Witches will be burned for centuries to come until there are none left. Magic will die, with only nonmagical humans left to burn, which they will eagerly do as a reminder of their religious dominion.”

Merlin exhaled. “There must be a way to stop…”

“Yes, exactly. We are going to kill the King and conquer Camelot. And Morgana will take the throne. However, if she gets in the way, she will die along with her brother, and Morgause will sit in her stead. We will ensure magic dominates these lands for the whole of history.”

Merlin nodded. “Good. I will do this work, to rid the world of Pendragons once and for all.”

“Ruadan! There are Knights of Camelot here!” another sorcerer came in breathlessly.

“They must have followed you, you old fool. Now they will die,” Ruadan hissed.

“They have a powerful sorcerer with them,” the man shook his head. “They’ve already breached the perimeter.”

“Emrys,” Merlin hissed.

“No, it’s another. Quickly, we must…” an explosion interrupted his sentence, and knocked him back. Both he and Ruadan were knocked unconscious.

“You’re early, Mordred,” Merlin grumbled.

“Incredible, Merlin. You’re even crankier when you’re old,” Mordred rolled his eyes. Gwaine laughed at the sight of Merlin as an old man, as he walked in behind Mordred.

Merlin sneered at him. “Carry these fools to the dungeon, and let’s go get Gwen. I almost got what we came for, no thanks to your incompetence.”

“Yes, My Lord,” Mordred sighed. Gwaine slapped him on the back and laughed as he hauled away an unconscious sorcerer, leaving Mordred to brood.

. . .

“I can’t be seen in Court with my hair still like this, Merlin! Are you sure it will wear off?” Gwen said, dismounting her horse inside of the gate with Mordred’s help. The other knights carried the sorcerers to the dungeons, still unconscious and their wrists still bound.

“I’m certain. There should be no lasting effects,” he said. He had already taken the antidote for his aging potion, and had returned to normal. Gwen’s potion was beginning to wear off, but she was still a sort of mix between Gwen and Sefa. “I suspect some sleep, including a bit of a lay-in after all this excitement, will do the trick. I’ll cover for you with Arthur and Morgana.”

“Good-night, Merlin. Good work tonight,” she said, pulling the hood of the dark blue cloak over her hair and obstructing her face.

“You as well. Thank you, Gwen, truly,” he said, taking Gwen’s hands in his and looking into what were still Sefa’s eyes.

“There’s no need to thank me, there’s no selflessness in my actions. I love Morgana as though she were my sister. I will do anything to keep her safe,” she said, her eyes darkening back into her own.

After Gwen walked inside, Mordred approached Merlin. “The prisoners are in the dungeon, and the girl has been released by your command.”

Merlin nodded. “I’ll be in to interrogate them later.” And he would have to tell Gaius he had Alice arrested.

“Here,” Mordred pulled out a set of scrolls. “I found these in Ruadan’s quarters. My Lord…” Mordred hesitated. “The prophesy they reference… it can’t be true, can it?”

“It’s none of your concern, Mordred,” Merlin snapped at him, grabbing the scrolls.

“Dammit, Emrys!” Mordred hissed. “I have a right to know.”

“You don’t have a right to know anything, not after…” Merlin stopped himself.

“After what? After a potential future that will never come to pass?” Mordred said. “You think I haven’t had these conversations with Morgana? She’s like a mother to me. She hasn’t kept any of this from me, and why would she? Why are you? Why are you punishing me for things I haven’t done, and never will?”

Merlin’s eyes flashed with anger. “I don’t trust you.”

Mordred winced. “So I’m aware. But your mistrust is unfair, I haven’t earned it. On the contrary, I think I’ve earned your trust. Arthur believes so, as does Morgana. I saved Arthur’s life just days ago, in fact, I nearly died! I expected to die, even! I couldn’t have known I would live when I took a sword to the gut for Arthur! If not for Morgana, I would be…”

“You’re right,” Merlin said, running a hand over his face. “You’re right. If I can believe Morgana has changed her path, then I can choose to believe you as well.”

Mordred sighed in relief. “So you’ll tell me the truth? The truth about this prophecy? Whether our people are in danger?”

Merlin hesitated. “I don’t know whether the prophecy is true. But what I do know is that Arthur has brought magic back to Camelot. Do you think he should be held responsible for what future generations do when he’s gone? Should he die for that, and Camelot plunged into endless war?”

“No. But if the prophecy is true, there has to be another way of stopping it. Just as Morgana stopped the Great Dragon’s prophecies about her, and about me.”

“We hope she has. Ultimately, we won’t know unless she and Arthur survive a battle that’s coming, on the fields of Camlann. And whether you don’t plunge your sword into Arthur during that battle.”

Mordred’s eyes flashed with anger. “But already things have changed. Magic was never restored in her vision. Look, I haven’t told Kara, but Morgana saved her. She would’ve tried to kill Arthur, she would’ve been executed. And I would have…” Mordred said softly, looking pained.

“You love her,” Merlin said.

“She is… someone… Since I was a child... she's always lived inside my heart,” he said, looking up at Merlin with a vulnerable expression. “I thought I lost her, and then Morgana brought her to me. You and Arthur brought her to me. I can never repay that gift.”

Merlin nodded, understanding his devotion to the girl.

“She’s lived through some terrible things, but her heart hasn’t been corrupted by it. Whatever would have happened to her later on, to have her take up arms against Arthur, it hasn’t happened. It won’t happen,” Mordred insisted.

Merlin looked at him appraisingly. “And if it does? Where will your loyalty be then?”

“Where would yours be, Emrys? If Morgana became Arthur’s enemy, where would your loyalty be?” Mordred turned the question back on him.

Merlin stood with his mouth slightly open, the automatic answer frozen on his lips.

“Exactly. We’re no different. Not now. Not now that you love Morgana. If you saw her executed at Arthur’s command, how could you possibly continue to serve him?”

Merlin sighed. “I couldn’t. But I also couldn’t take up arms against him.”

Mordred snorted. “You say that, but you couldn’t know, not for certain. Regardless, he loves his sister. And Kara is the ward of the Princess of Camelot. They are in entirely different positions than they were in Morgana’s vision. And so are we.”

“Let’s hope those positions don’t change,” Merlin said. “But, you’re right, Mordred. I have been unfair to you. I… will strive to make it up to you.”

“I appreciate it. I will continue to earn your trust. I want to protect the people I care about and, Merlin, believe it or not, that includes you. Morgana loves you and, for my love of her, so must I love you,” Mordred said sincerely. Then he grinned, and added, “Even if you are quite insufferable.”

Merlin snorted.

“But I also want to help you find a way to protect the future of our people,” Mordred said, seriously.

Merlin nodded and clasped Mordred’s shoulder. “I’m glad to hear it. Get some rest, you’ve earned it.”

“You too, My Lord,” he said, turning and walking inside.

. . .

Merlin looked at the sky and saw the beginnings of daybreak. He knew he should get some rest, especially after the exhaustion of using the aging spell, but he was far too wired, and far too worried about the future. He decided instead to check on his mother, who he knew would already be awake.

“Mother?” he said, knocking softly on her door. “Can we speak?”

“Oh, Merlin… um, just a moment, please,” he heard her say.

She opened the door a few minutes later, just a crack. “I’m not dressed yet, Merlin. I’m not really sure how to get these fancy frocks on.”

“Oh, I’ll send Eilidh in, I just passed her in the hall…”

“Oh no, please, not yet, I can wait in my robe,” she said.

Her tone worried him. “In that case, Mother, could I please come in?”

“I don’t think…”

Merlin heard the floorboards creak behind her and she cringed.

“Mother? Is someone in there with you?” he asked, alarmed.

Hunith sighed, and opened the door a little wider. “Say good morning to your father, Merlin.”

“Father,” he said, wide-eyed. “You two have resolved your differences then?”

“We’re working on it,” Hunith said with a frown. “Could we discuss this later, Merlin?”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll come back later,” Merlin said, with an amused look on his face.

“I’ll come with you, Son, give me a moment,” Balinor said, as Hunith closed the door.

A few minutes later, Balinor emerged.

“So, Father. Did you… spend the night… with Mother?” Merlin asked casually.

“I did, but it’s not what you might think,” Balinor said. “She hasn’t forgiven me to that extent quite yet.”

“But you spent the night in her chambers. That’s a good sign at least?” he asked hopefully.

“I hope so. Merlin, I would make her my wife if she’ll have me,” Balinor said. “I never stopped loving her, all those years we were apart.”

“Did you tell her that?” Merlin asked.

“I did,” he grimaced.

“And what did she say?”

“She didn’t. She threw a vase at my head,” Balinor replied flatly.

“Oh,” Merlin cringed.

“But eventually she ran out of things to throw at me, and we began to talk. We haven’t resolved our differences, but she agreed to continue talking. And she let me kip on her floor when I was too tired to speak any longer,” Balinor said.

“That’s promising at least,” Merlin smiled.

“Not for my back,” he said, stretching painfully. “And how was your mission to The Order?”

Merlin sighed. “Informative, but not good news. What do you know of the Diamair?”

“Very little. Is that what you seek?”

“It’s what others have already found, specifically, Morgause. The Order claims there’s a prophecy that foretells the end of magic, and they believe it’s Arthur’s fault.”

“How?” Balinor asked.

“That seems uncertain. The scrolls tell a story of the domination of the Christian religion. Sorcery will be eradicated, and witch burnings will continue for centuries, to persecute those who don’t even have magic.”

“And they believe this is Arthur’s fault?”

“It would seem so. The way that Arthur will be viewed as an historical figure, revered for his fight against magic and his quest for the holy relics of the Christian religion.”

“So, history will get it wrong.”

“Presumably.”

“And The Order believes that by killing Arthur they will, what, change the course of an incorrect telling of history?”

“It would seem so.”

“That’s absurd. Without Arthur, future people would just select another figurehead, it’s how myths are made.”

“Tell that to the sorcerers trying to kill the king and replace him with my future wife,” Merlin frowned.

“They want Morgana to be queen?” he asked, surprised.

“That’s what all the brainwashing was about. It was to bring upon the reign of a sorceress, preferably one with a claim to the throne to make things easier, and easily controlled by enchantment. But if Morgana won’t serve, they’ll kill her and put Morgause on the throne.”

“And how do you intend to stop the war that’s brewing? Obviously you won’t be able to talk sense into them. They’re fanatics.”

“We’ve captured several members of The Order, they’re being held in the dungeons. Gaius isn’t going to be very pleased. One of them is someone he loves.”

“Oh? Who is that?”

“A sorceress called Alice. Camelot wasn’t safe for her when Uther still lived, so she left, but Gaius still pines for her. He’s going to be devastated when he finds out.”

“Then he’d better hear it directly from you, Merlin,” Balinor said, placing a hand on his son’s shoulder.

“You’re right. Thank you, Father,” he said.

“We’ll speak further about The Order when you’ve had some rest,” Balinor said, parting ways.

Merlin ran a tired hand across his face. The sun was just starting to shine through the castle windows and he knew he had better go find Gaius.

When he arrived, Gaius was just finishing his breakfast. “Oh, Merlin. Have you eaten? I didn’t expect you, or else I would have made you something to eat as well.”

“No, I also haven’t slept. I need you to come with me to see a prisoner,” he said, with a guilty look.

Gaius looked at him and frowned. “Is someone injured?”

“No, but… when we raided The Order, we found an old friend of yours. Alice was with them.”

“Alice?” Gaius said softly. “Oh, Merlin.”

“She hasn’t been questioned yet. Leon agreed you could be there.”

“Thank you, Merlin.”

They walked together to the interrogation room.

“Gaius!” Alice said, tears in her eyes. “Please believe me, I haven’t committed treason.”

“You were found with the sorcerers of The Order, who have kidnapped and brainwashed the Princess and attempted to overthrow the King. Can you explain your presence with them? Are you a member of The Order?” Leon asked, gesturing for Gaius and Merlin to take a seat.

“No, I’m not one of them, not really. I’ve just been trying to get more information,” she said, speaking to Gaius and not looking at Leon.

“Information on what exactly?” Leon pressed.

“The Diamair. The Lady Morgause enlisted my help to find them. I couldn’t resist. Magical creatures that possess all knowledge. How could I possibly resist such a temptation? And the Lady is a respected member of King Arthur’s Court, or, at least she was. I suppose no longer, not after what Ruadan made her do.”

“Ruadan is pulling the strings? Not Morgause?” Merlin asked, with surprise.

“In a way. Morgause is the figurehead, the High Priestess, but she loves Morgana. She is doing what she feels is best for those with magic, however. The Order believes removing Arthur from history will save magic.”

“So I’ve been told,” Merlin sighed. “But it doesn’t even make sense. None of it makes sense. It isn’t anything that happens during his reign. Why can’t they find another way to preserve an accurate history?”

“The Diamair…”

“To hell with the Diamair!” Merlin shouted, his eyes flashing gold and the table trembling with his fury. Alice gasped.

“Merlin…” Leon murmured, putting a hand firmly on his shoulder. Gaius looked at Merlin with concern. Merlin exhaled slowly and reigned in his magic.

Alice swallowed. “The Diamair says that our accounts won’t survive. That Arthur will become a myth, his fight against magic, his search for the holy relics of Christendom.”

“Neither of which is true,” Leon said. “He’s legalized magic, and we’ve never quested for any such relics. What did the Diamair say exactly about Arthur?”

“I don’t know, only Morgause heard their message. But she was certain that the only way to preserve magic was Arthur’s death, and Morgana’s rise to power.”

“Why? What did she see? What was she told?” Leon asked.

“She had a vision, she lived more than a thousand years in just a few moments. She followed the threads throughout the ages.”

“And what did those threads show her?”

“The world that Arthur will leave behind,” she said.

“And what did you intend to do about it?” Leon asked. Gaius looked down at his hands, not wanting to watch his beloved incriminate herself.

“Nothing The Order would have liked,” she answered. “I wanted to discover the nature of the Diamair, to understand them, to understand the mystery of this prophecy. That’s why I was enlisted by The Order. But I am not going to help them overthrow the king for a future I don’t even think we should trust.”

“What knowledge did you have of the enchantment of Princess Morgana?” Merlin asked.

“None, Merlin, I promise,” Alice said.

“That’s the Lord of Cornwall, you’re addressing,” Leon said.

“Of course, My Lord,” Alice said. “I’m sorry, about your betrothed. I didn’t know they had her, or what they did for her. I’ve only just arrived back to Camelot, after helping Morgause find the Diamair.”

“Where is Morgause now?” Merlin asked.

“I only saw her briefly before she departed. That’s when I found out about Princess Morgana’s enchantment. Morgause was beside herself with anger and grief that the enchantment was broken because Morgana knows she betrayed her. She’s destroyed her sister’s trust, and her place at Court, and now has no other choices left. She’s gone to Cenred, My Lord.”

Merlin sighed. “She’s gone to bring his army.”

“He’s her lover, My Lord, but Cenred’s no fool, and not even a risk-taker. I lived in his kingdom, he won’t attack unless he believes he can win. That's what Morgause is working on changing.”

. . .

Leon had additional questions, and by the end, it was mid-day.

Arthur was waiting outside when they finished. “Well?” he asked Leon.

“I believe she tells the truth, Sire. She has provided a great deal of useful information, and has warned us of Morgause’s whereabouts,” Leon replied. “I do not recommend she be charged with treason.”

“Very well,” Arthur said. “She is free to go.”

Gaius nearly collapsed in relief. “Thank you, Sire.”

“You know this woman, Gaius?” Arthur asked.

“She is an old friend and a good woman, Sire. Always one to follow new discoveries, but never one to do anyone harm, at least not intentionally.”

“Then I hope she will continue to assist us in our cause. Merlin, with me, please,” Arthur said.

“Yes, Sire,” he said, leaving Gaius to hug a newly-released Alice.

“Am I to understand that you took Gwen on an unauthorized mission last night?” he said, with a hint of venom.

Merlin cleared his throat. “It was her idea, actually.”

“Her hair’s not yet back to normal,” Arthur scowled.

Merlin cringed. “It will wear off, I promise! It just takes some time. She should drink more water, perhaps.”

Arthur sighed. “That mission could have been dangerous, as well as the potion you gave her, that you got from a troll of all places! You cannot put the Queen’s life…”

“The Queen?” Merlin grinned.

Arthur flushed. “I mean…”

“You’ve finally done it, haven’t you?” Merlin laughed, slapping him on the back. “You’re marrying Gwen!”

“Shh! Merlin! Keep it down!” Arthur looked around to see who could have heard. “We’re keeping it a secret for right now. We didn’t want to upstage your wedding with our engagement. We’ll announce it after your wedding next month.”

“I’m thrilled for you both!” Merlin beamed.

Arthur couldn’t help the happy smile that crept onto his face. “Well, don’t tell Morgana, I wasn’t even supposed to tell you. Gwen would be furious with me if she knew I’d slipped up. Not a word, that’s an order from your King.”

“I won’t say a word, I promise,” Merlin said, pulling him into a big hug as Arthur groaned. “I’m so happy. We’re going to be brothers, and now I have a new sister too!”

“Yes, well,” Arthur said, pulling away and giving him an amused smile before hugging Merlin again. “I’m very excited too.”


	30. Chapter 30

“Have you heard the news, My Lady? About the tragic death of King Bors?” Lady Gonilda asked Gwen, slipping an arm into hers as they walked into the hall. The two Lord Ackerlys had gone ahead, engaged in conversation with another man Gwen didn’t recognize. That was often the case for Gwen, as she hadn’t grown up mingling with Camelot’s nobility.

“No, I haven’t. What’s happened?” Gwen asked, straining to recall King Bors. Gaul, she thinks, but she can’t remember for certain. She’s heard the court gossip from Morgana since they were children, but she’s never been one for the details of politics since it had never been her job until now.

Lady Gonilda looked pleased to be able to break the terrible news. “Oh, such dreadful business occurred while he was on a hunt. He suffered a particularly vicious attack by a _rabbit_ of all things.”

“What? You can’t be serious,” Gwen looked at her with amused skepticism. “You’re teasing me, My Lady.”

Lady Gonilda grinned. “It’s true, I swear it! He was removing a rabbit from a trap and it bit him! A dreadful, gaping wound from a dangerous creature!”

Gwen stifled a laugh and shook her head. “Ridiculous.”

“Very well, so it wasn’t the animal bite itself,” Lady Gonilda admitted. “But it was truly the catalyst! He succumbed to infection from the wound and,” she paused dramatically, her hand on her chest, “then he died.”

“Oh, that is awful. Who is to be king now? Does he have an heir?” Was Gaul an ally of Camelot? She would need to ask Morgana.

Lady Gonilda grew serious, a truly gifted storyteller. “He did, until two months ago, when his only nephew was killed by raiders in a skirmish, and he didn’t have any other close family. His poor wife had never borne him any children that have lived past a year, and she died in childbirth just this Spring. He hadn’t even the chance to remarry yet. So they’ve had to look to the distant family to crown a new king. His closest family member is a lesser noble of Camelot, a second cousin. Perhaps you know him? Sir Accolon?”

“Oh… ohhh, Sir Accolon, yes, of course,” Gwen said, keeping an even expression. “Sir Accolon served here, he was one of our guards. So, he is now the king of…”

“Of Gaul, yes. Can you believe it? The man was barely even nobility. What strange fortune that comes from grave misfortune,” Lady Gonilda said. “But I have since heard the new King Accolon shall be in Camelot for the wedding next weekend.”

“It is true, he is on the guest list. Well, despite the tragic end for King Bors, that is good news, indeed, for our Sir Accolon to be crowned king. Camelot will surely have a strong ally now in Gaul,” Gwen said.

“Indeed, My Lady, it is most excellent news. If you’ll excuse me, there’s someone in particular I must share this news with,” she smiled brightly, and shuffled away.

As Lady Gonilda went to share her gossip with other ladies of the Court, Gwen went to find Morgana.

Gwen pulled her aside gently to be out of earshot of anyone else. “There’s important new information. Remind me, were you on good terms with Sir Accolon when he departed from our service?”

Morgana looked at her with a puzzled expression. “I don’t recall any hard feelings. Accolon left to manage his family’s estate when his father died well over a year ago, that’s why we… parted company. Why, what have you heard?”

“Accolon is to be crowned King of Gaul,” she said.

“No!” Morgana gasped, shocked. “How can that be? He was merely a distant cousin of King Bors. Bors had a son, and a nephew, among other relatives. What’s happened?”

Gwen told her what Gonilda had reported.

“Oh, that must be so very difficult for Accolon, he didn’t even want to leave his post to manage his father’s land,” Morgana said, then lowering her voice. “I’m not sure if you’ll recall, but when we were occasional lovers, he was pining away for the current wife of Lord Ector, Lady Evaine. He had loved her since they were children but she’d refused him because his family’s estate is quite small and she has very expensive tastes. Lord Ector is twice her age, and she had no love for him, but she accepted his proposal soon after refusing Accolon’s. Accolon was devastated by her rejection, and has still never wed.”

“I do recall that Accolon’s love for Lady Evaine was well-known,” Gwen agreed.

“I imagine that’s why Lady Gonilda is speaking with Lady Evaine currently, to inform her of her poor choices,” Morgana nodded her head towards their new friend.

Gwen cringed. “I imagine you’re right. Lady Evaine looks like she’s just seen an apparition.”

Morgana stifled a wicked grin. “Good. Oh, I do like Lady Gonilda.”

They shared a chuckle.

“Oh, and _King_ Accolon is on the confirmed guest list for your wedding, I just received word this morning. We shall see him next month,” Gwen commented.

Morgana hummed thoughtfully. “It is very kind of him to still come, knowing his responsibilities must be quite consuming now. He has remained a good friend.”

“Would that friendship be good enough to support you in war?” Gwen asked.

Morgana smiled. “I would like to believe so, and if I am correct, this is very good news indeed. Another ally, and a strong one at that. Bors had little interest in the politics of Albion, but Accolon is a fierce fighter and a gifted tactician, and he’ll have command of one of the strongest militaries. This could change everything, Gwen.”

Gwen sighed with relief, and squeezed her hand, as Arthur began to address the crowd.

. . .

“Lord Agravaine, thank you for dining with us this evening. I have missed your company during your absence,” Morgana said, closing the door to her chambers once Gwen and Eilidh exited to continue their duties. Arthur and Merlin had traveled to the Druid camp, along with Kara and Mordred, to gather more information about the Diamair, so Morgana took the opportunity to spend time with Agravaine, newly arrived back in Camelot. He had only arrived hours prior with their allies, King Rodor and his daughter Princess Mithian. However, they had requested festivities be postponed celebrating their arrival due to the exhaustion of the journey.

“I am delighted to be in your company once again, my dear,” he said, as Morgana poured him a fresh goblet of wine.

“I want to clear the air, because I know that Uther did you great wrongs. He never treated you as his brother, which is what you deserved. He caused your brother’s death. And he caused your sister’s death by sacrificing her to have Arthur.”

Agravaine looked surprised. “I didn’t realize you knew.”

“Arthur and I discovered the truth. It nearly destroyed Arthur to know what his father had done to his mother. I think, had I not been there to calm his rage, he would have struck down his own father.”

“I can relate to his feeling,” he said flatly.

“Arthur didn’t yet know about my magic, but it changed him. He wasn’t content to allow sorcerers to suffer punishment for Uther’s crimes. He became a better man that day than I could have ever imagined. And through his strength of character, grew mine. I was able to forgive Uther as well, and call him Father. And when Uther died and Arthur discovered my magic, Arthur accepted me and has accepted my people. Together we are undoing all of the wrongs suffered under Uther’s reign. And Arthur and I thought we should next address yours.”

“Is that so?” he asked.

“Indeed. You have done so much for us. You didn’t have to leave your home and come to Camelot to help us after Uther’s death, but you did so anyway. Your diplomatic mission has solidified the alliance with Nemeth and given us a strong ally. But we have struggled to find a just reward that would adequately show our love and appreciation for you, as our beloved uncle. Is there anything in particular you desire?”

“I… can think of one thing, my dear,” he sighed, grabbing her hand. “I have fallen hopelessly in love.”

Morgana’s eyes widened in alarm.

“I know you must think me too old for such attachments, but spending these weeks with Mithian…”

“Mithian? You’re in love with Mithian?” Morgana realized with both shock and relief.

“Oh, what a tremendous woman she is,” he gushed. “As brilliant as she is beautiful. Immensely talented, and a fierce huntress. I have never felt this way in my life, Morgana.”

Agravaine? In love? She was still shocked. “Does she return your affections?”

“She has said so, yes. But her father will not give his consent. He is unimpressed with my station, believes me too old as well. I am not what he envisioned as his son-in-law. Mithian shall be queen someday.”

“And you would be her consort,” Morgana said.

“Yes, but that is not why I desire her. She has beguiled me in these weeks I have gotten to know her. I would wish to wed her even if she were but a serving girl. She is the very best among women. I can now appreciate your desire to marry Merlin, despite his lack of station, now that I have loved one I cannot have. It is impossible to deny the heart what it wants and not break into a million pieces.”

Morgana’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m certainly surprised at this turn of events, but I am glad for you. Mithian shall be a fortunate woman indeed to have such a handsome and wise king by her side.”

“You flatter me, my dear. Her father will not permit it, however,” Agravaine sighed.

“Uncle, Arthur will persuade him. You shall have your lady love,” Morgana said, squeezing his hand.

She was surprised to find tears forming in his eyes as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Thank you, my sweet niece. I look forward to celebrating your marriage and your happiness. May we both be so happy.”

She smiled at him with amusement, “I think it very possible we both shall be.”

. . .

“You can’t be serious,” Arthur said, laying down on Morgana’s bed with a thud. She crinkled her nose at the sight of his boots on her bedspread.

“He loves her. And I confirmed it with Mithian, she would wed him,” she said, organizing the scrolls and books on her desk.

“He’s twice her age!” Arthur said, cringing.

“As though that were uncommon. Look at Lord Ector and his wife, for instance,” she said.

“And I bet she’s regretting that now. How is Accolon anyway? Heard from him since Bors died?” he asked, sitting up on his elbow to see her reaction.

“Ah, you heard that too, did you? No, I’ve not had communication with Accolon since he left last year, other than word he will attend my wedding, but I’m very much looking forward to him being at the wedding. You must be sure to give him special attention, he was always quite fond of you.”

“Not as fond of me as he was of you, fortunately,” Arthur rolled his eyes.

“I was quite fond of him as well. He’s very handsome and charming,” she smiled.

“But not as handsome and charming as my manservant?” Arthur said with a snort.

“Indeed, he is not. But he knew my affections were with another, as I knew of his unrequited love of Lady Evaine.”

“Everyone knew of his unrequited love of Lady Evaine, I suppose that was his appeal for you, you never liked the doting romantic fools, at least until _Merlin_,” Arthur said. “Uther obviously didn’t know about Accolon’s evening visits in your chambers, but it was certainly no secret among the knights.”

“That’s because men are far bigger gossips than women,” she said with a smirk.

“I honestly expected Accolon would ask for your hand, at least before Uther gave you the title of princess.”

“Oh, he half-heartedly did, and I declined. He only asked out of pity for us both, that since neither of us could be with our heart’s desire, that we should seek solace in marriage to one another. He didn’t know that I had glimpsed my future, that I could be with the one I loved someday. But even if I hadn’t, it would have been unfair to Accolon. He’s a good man, and he deserves the full devotion of a wife. Of his queen.”

“He’ll have to take a wife now, he needs heirs for the stability of Gaul.”

“I could say the same for you, Brother,” she grinned.

“I have an heir. I have you. And considering how often I find my former manservant in my sister’s chambers, I suspect I will have new heirs soon enough,” he said, soundlessly gagging.

“Very amusing,” Morgana rolled her eyes.

He snickered. “But back to the topic of Agravaine. This is what Mithian truly wants as well?”

“She says she loves him. I believe her. She sees a side of Agravaine that we haven’t, absent his hatred and resentment of Uther. He’s always been ambitious, clearly ambition is part of his attraction to Mithian despite his protestations. I think… in my vision, it was me who corrupted his ambitions. I had promised he would rule Camelot at my side. He was eager to please me, and destroy Uther’s legacy. But now, we’ve already undone Uther’s legacy by legalizing magic.”

Arthur cringed.

She looked at him with sympathy. “Does that still bother you? To know Father would be so disappointed in us?”

“At times, yes,” Arthur admitted.

Morgana left her desk to sit on the floor in front of Arthur, her arms crossed on top of the mattress.

“I’m sorry, I know what his approval meant to you. I came to terms with being a disappointment long ago, but you…”

“He wasn’t disappointed in you, Morgana, he loved you. He was proud of you,” he said, grabbing her hand.

She smiled sadly. “He wouldn’t have been if he’d known who I really am. What I really am.”

“Maybe he would have been, I don’t know. But I’m proud of you though, if my opinion counts for anything,” Arthur said.

She laughed. “Yeah, it counts for something. And I’m proud of you too. Uther may not have approved of your choices, but he would be proud of the king you are. You really will be the best king Camelot has ever had. They’ll sing songs of you for all of time,” she teased.

Arthur dropped her hand and sat up in the bed. “That’s actually what I came to talk to you about.”

“Yes. What did you and Merlin discover?”

“Nothing good. Merlin will be able to tell you more, but what it seems to come down to is how much harm my reign will bring to the future.”

“We don’t know that. And even if that is a true picture of the future, it’s based off of a false telling of your story, not anything you’ve done or will do, surely. We can’t help if history will turn our sacred magical objects into artifacts of Christendom to create a narrative of you as the enemy of magic and the Old Religion. That’s beyond our control.”

“But is your sister right? If I weren’t the King, would that future be prevented?”

“No, I don’t think she’s correct at all. So, you abdicate and give me the crown, then what? You think history will record that any more accurately than your reign as king?”

He frowned. “I suppose not.”

“Is that honestly what you’re thinking? That you should step aside and let me rule?” she looked at him with bewilderment.

“If it will prevent a terrible future… the elimination of the Druids and magic,” he said, looking sad.

“Oh Arthur, I do love you,” she said, standing up suddenly and hugging him. “That you would give up your crown if it meant a better future, it shows what sort of king you truly are.” _The sort of king worth dying for on a battlefield_, she thought.

She pulled away after a moment. “We can’t control a future that happens generations outside of our lifetimes, and we can’t be responsible for it. That’s the responsibility of future generations. Morgause places an unreasonable burden upon your shoulders with this prophesy. She should know better, they all should. But they are blinded by their hatred of Uther and the Pendragon legacy. Do you really think they would be appeased by me as Queen and you ruling with me as Prince? That it would stop the war from coming?”

“No, only my head on a pike would appease them,” he agreed.

“Then we must prepare for the war that’s coming,” she said, determined to change their futures again.


	31. Chapter 31

“Good morning, Milady!” the flustered maid rushed out of Hunith’s chambers, bobbing a wobbly curtsy before tottering off.

“Good morning, Eilidh,” Gwen said, holding the skirts of her gown back to give the girl and her basket of linens space to move.

Gwen thought she should check to see if Hunith was okay, but when she approached the door to knock, she heard the gravelly voice of Lord Balinor. She suddenly understood what Eilidh’s embarrassment must have been, clasping her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. Merlin would be delighted to know how well his parents are getting on, she knew.

Gwen would go to poor Eilidh later to make sure she knew she did nothing wrong. She remembered how it felt to be a young servant in the palace, and walking in on nobles in private moments. She wanted Eilidh to not have the insecurities she often felt at her age. She also tried to remember her confidence as a grown woman as she prepared for her role as Queen.

One by one the servants had begun to recognize her authority in the palace, and she felt less out of place as a member of the Court than she initially did. She wondered, however, if they would all feel as warmly about her when she became Queen. She liked to think that, between her and Merlin, the people were beginning to see that it didn’t matter if you were low born, that you could still be a person of value. So much so that a King or a Princess might love you. But she still worried that the people of Camelot would resent a peasant Queen.

Gwen hardly had time to worry over this possibility, however. Between covert undercover missions with Merlin, finishing the plans for Morgana’s wedding, and never-ending court duties, she barely had time to sneak away to see Arthur, let alone actually see her brother since his return. At least until she crashed into him, accompanied by Sir Percival, outside of Arthur’s chambers.

“Elyan!” she said, hugging him after she regained her balance. “It’s so good to see you! I’ve missed you so much! Welcome home, both of you.”

“My Lady,” Percival greeted her with a smile.

Elyan smiled brightly. “I’ve missed you too. I’ve been by to see you since we arrived, but you’re never where I expect to find you. Been busy?”

“Very. I can’t believe the wedding is almost upon us, there is still so much left to do,” she said, smoothing out his crimson cape. “How was your journey?”

“Long and tedious. I was just about to speak with the King about it. Were you going in to see him as well?”

“Yes, actually. Let’s go in together, and then hopefully we can spend some time this evening catching up,” she said, knocking on Arthur’s door.

Arthur had summoned them to review their trip with Agravaine, still wary of his affections for Mithian, and what that meant for their alliance. Elyan and Percival described the journey as largely uneventful, and the mission a success. Agravaine, in their assessment, represented Camelot well, and acted with honor. However, on the return trip, Agravaine began to take a significant interest in Mithian, spending a lot of time with her. Her father had a frank discussion with him and warned him off of his interest in Mithian.

“Lord Agravaine didn’t push the matter further, and the king made no further mention of it. They’ve continued to have a warm relationship,” Percival said.

Arthur nodded. “Frankly, I’m very surprised to know his feelings are reciprocated. Mithian is a beautiful young woman, and while my uncle certainly has admirable qualities, he’s a bit…”

“Mature?” Gwen supplied.

“Old,” Arthur said, bluntly. “Did you observe any unusual behavior on her part? Does she truly wish to wed my uncle?”

“I can’t say I’ve seen many noblewomen in love, Sire. Other than Princess Morgana, and I gather her affections towards her betrothed are unusual, as they are more…” Elyan struggled for a polite word.

“Passionate?” Gwen suggested.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Crossing the lines into flagrant social impropriety. Yes, that has always been my sister. But I gather Mithian is much more reserved than Morgana. I wouldn’t expect her to become a lovesick fool over even the most dashing suitor.”

“Nor would I. But Morgana spoke with her. She assured her she loves him and would wed him if permitted,” Gwen said.

“Meanwhile, Agravaine recites poetry and pines for her like a lovesick fool. It’s simply odd. Don’t you think?” Arthur asked.

“I’ve never even been in love, Sire. I definitely wouldn’t know if it’s normal to act as such,” Percival said.

“I’ve been in love many times, including times I’ve acted the fool, but I wouldn’t expect a fancy lord like Lord Agravaine to act like that,” Elyan offered.

Arthur shook his head. “I’ve known more than a few fancy lords to make a fool of himself for love. It still feels out of character for Agravaine, at least.”

“Perhaps his response is only because he cannot wed her. It is his heartbreak that makes him so emotional?” Elyan asked.

“Yes, that must be it. He pines because he wants what he cannot have. If they’re truly in love, Arthur, could they not wed?” Gwen asked.

“She would have to defy her father. He apparently doesn’t find him an appropriate match, and I can hardly blame him. There’s no benefit to the marriage for Rodor. Agravaine may be a king’s uncle, but he doesn’t have a great deal of land or wealth of his own. My grandfather’s estate went to Uncle Tristan’s son. I don’t think I could persuade him to marry Agravaine on his merits alone.”

“I expect he’s holding out for you, Arthur,” she teased. “As Camelot’s most eligible bachelor.” Arthur shook his head, stiffing a smile at their private joke.

“If you could broker their marriage, Sire, Agravaine would be greatly in your debt,” Elyan said, eyeing the couple suspiciously.

“Yes, and Morgana believes Agravaine is important to forging additional alliances,” Gwen agreed.

“Were the lands of Gedref not enough of a dowry for my uncle?” Arthur scowled. “Fine. I suppose I have no choice but to make Agravaine into a more favorable match for Mithian. What lands does Rodor want?”

“Hinton Hill, within the borders of Deorham, Sire,” Percival said.

“It isn’t mine to give,” Arthur countered.

“Nor was Cornwall,” Percival countered. “Princess Morgana’s ancestral home is technically within Odin’s borders since her father’s death.”

“So he may claim, but he’s never taken the castle, it sits empty. Odin’s a coward and knows doing so would incite revolt, and invite war. Besides, giving Merlin the title was ceremonial to allow him to wed my sister. They don’t intend to leave Camelot and retain the castle for some time. Meanwhile, we’ve no claim to any of Alined’s lands, and no quarrel with him. The Peace Accord was signed when my father lived.”

“That’s not what Morgana says. He’ll ally with Morgause and The Order to overthrow you, likely on the promise that the southern territory of Camelot will become his, as well as Rodor’s lands,” Gwen said.

“If I promise Alined’s lands to Rodor, then I certainly make an enemy of him.”

“You could give Agravaine control of the southern ports, so that it will be easier to control those lands when war comes, Sire,” Elyan suggested.

“That would give Agravaine control of more territory than Camelot, and our only access to the sea,” Gwen said. “Are you sure that is wise?”

Arthur sighed. “I’ll take it under advisement. Elyan, Percival, thank you for your counsel, and for accompanying Agravaine on this diplomatic mission.”

The knights bowed and Gwen curtsied, but Arthur asked her to stay behind to discuss Morgana’s wedding.

Once the knights were gone, he kissed her deeply. “I never get to see you, Guinevere, you’ve been so busy.”

“Indeed. Why is it I’ve been busier than a king?” she teased.

“I believe you’re learning that the Queen is more valuable than the King,” he smiled against her neck, placing gentle kisses across it.

“Mmhmm,” she grinned. “Well, I’m afraid that leaves little time for entertaining bored kings. Unlike you, Your Majesty, I have a million tasks to complete before supper.”

“Are you dining with us this evening?”

“Yes. The banquet, remember? For the arrival of Rodor and Mithian? And also Accolon will soon arrive, his banner was just spotted in the distance. I will join you to meet him at the gate, but Morgana is seeing a patient with Kara in the village.”

“Ah, yes, George has been fussing around to get clothes ready for tonight. I suppose I need to speak to Rodor prior to the banquet, see how he feels about Agravaine as a son-in-law, and how much this match is going to cost me.”

“See? You’re quite busy after all,” she said, kissing him again. “Now, quit distracting me, I’ve got work to do.”

She swished her skirts and left the king looking quite sullen.

. . .

“Then it’s settled,” Arthur said. “Agravaine will be given the title of Duke, with control of the southern seaports, and as a matter between us, promised control of half of Deorham should that land come into the control of Camelot. In return, he will be given permission to marry Mithian, and reign as her consort when she ascends the throne of Nemeth.”

Rodor nodded. “I’m pleased with the deal, and Mithian says they love one another, which is a promising start to a marriage.” He shook Arthur’s hand. “Shall we announce the engagement at tonight’s banquet? Or would Morgana take offense to the announcement so close to her wedding?”

“We should certainly announce the news. I believe Morgana will be quite pleased by it, she favors the match,” Arthur said, nodding to George to bring the quill and ink so they could both sign and seal the agreements. Each would retain a copy.

Rodor took his leave and Arthur began to get ready for the banquet.

“George?” Arthur asked, as he fastened his pants. “Have you shrunk these trousers? They’re rather snug.”

George blinked. “Ah, how careless of me, Sire. I shall fetch another pair.”

There was a knock on the door, and Merlin entered.

“Merlin,” Arthur rolled his eyes. “You aren’t my manservant any longer, you can’t just barge in here when I’m without trousers. George, try that pair, I wore those last week, I know they fit.”

Merlin shook his head. “Your trousers are snug again, aren’t they? George is feeding you too much.”

“George is doing nothing of the sort, _Lord _Merlin,” George said, helping Arthur into his pants. “His Majesty’s pants must have shrunk in the wash.”

Merlin burst out laughing. “You don’t have to spare his ego, George. Arthur’s got more than enough. Your duty is to keep Camelot’s protector in peak physical condition, not let him get soft.”

“Are you only here to criticize my diet, you scrawny clotpole, or do you have a real purpose?” Arthur scowled at him.

Merlin smirked. “Fine, fine. I heard from Morgana that you’re giving Agravaine control of strategically-important lands so he can wed Mithian.”

“That is correct,” he said, as George helped him into another pair of trousers.

“Are you sure that’s wise? What if Agravaine betrays us?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “You only now want to bring concerns? It’s a little late for that, the deal is made with Rodor.”

“I don’t trust Agravaine,” Merlin said. “I think he’s insincere about loving Mithian.”

Arthur sighed. “I have no proof of that though. And even if he is insincere about his affections, it’s a tremendous match for him. He’ll rule Nemeth when Rodor is gone."

“What of Mithian? Doesn’t she deserve…?”

“Mithian wants this, Morgana spoke with her directly.”

“I know she says that but he’s so…”

“Old, yes. I’m aware. But I suppose if the Princess of Camelot can fall in love with an impudent, scrawny clotpole with no lands and no title, the Princess of Nemeth can fall in love with a nobleman nearly as old as her father, who’s also the uncle of a king.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “One can’t always help what the heart wants, I suppose.”

“What the heart wants keeps giving me a headache, _Brother_,” Arthur said, giving a dramatic sigh.

“Aw, that’s the first time you’ve called me that, Arthur. I love you too,” he said, hugging Arthur tightly as he squirmed away.

“If you would excuse me, _Lord_ Merlin, His Majesty needs to prepare for the banquet,” George said, looking at Merlin with his usual disdain.

“Just keep an eye out, Merlin, for any funny business,” Arthur said. “I’m not disagreeing with you that something’s amiss. I just have no evidence there is.”

Merlin grinned. “As you wish, _Brother_.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and Merlin left. He smiled and shook his head, turning his attention back to George, who was letting out seams from his pants. “I guess I’m skipping the extra servings tonight,” Arthur groaned.

“As you wish, Sire,” George said.

. . .

The banquet was quite the whirl of activity. Accolon was still as handsome as Morgana had remembered him. His golden crown sat atop his head of wavy brown hair, and his beard had grown fuller. All of the ladies at court were stunned by his beauty, combined with the finery of a king, outshining even their own handsome sovereign. Morgana had no doubt he would have his pick of the available noblewomen of Camelot, and certainly it would solidify their alliance even further if he did. Lady Astolat was quite beautiful, as was Lady Laudine. Although less of a beauty, Morgana thought Lady Enide would make a fine queen for Accolon, as she was exceptionally kind and highly intelligent. Yes, Morgana would find Accolon a queen and he would defend Camelot, and maybe she wouldn’t have to die on a battlefield…

“My Lady,” Accolon greeted her.

She curtsied. “Your Majesty.”

“Congratulations on your marriage,” he said, bowing and kissing her hand. He then lowered his voice. “Am I to assume your betrothed is the man who’s had your heart for all these years, but was unattainable to you due to his station?”

“He is,” Morgana smiled, squeezing his hand.

“I must admit, I always suspected it was Merlin. My heart overflows with joy for the happiness you have found,” he said, giving her a brilliant smile. “I hope Merlin knows the immense value of your love.”

“There is no greater treasure,” Merlin said, approaching them.

“Merlin!” Accolon said, shaking his hand. “Congratulations, my friend. It is good to see you again.”

“We’re really glad you could be here, it’s been far too long. And congratulations to you as well, _King_ Accolon. Becoming king must have been quite the shock,” Merlin said.

He gave Merlin and Morgana a sheepish smile. “It was not something I’ve ever wanted. I am still not accustomed to it, and the responsibility is often overwhelming. But the fates have decided I must rule, and have given us this opportunity to provide a strong alliance between our kingdoms, to protect our lands and our people from the threats that gather. So I will embrace my destiny, rather than resent it.”

Morgana smiled, squeezing Merlin’s hand, who bowed to King Accolon and took his leave to greet the next noble family who had arrived.

Morgana took the arm that Accolon offered her. “I am overjoyed to hear you say so, and I know Arthur will be too. Come, you must be famished after your long journey.”

Once everyone had eaten, Arthur stood up to welcome their royal guests. Mithian sat stoically as Arthur and Rodor announced her engagement to Agravaine. While Agravaine was overjoyed, Mithian smiled demurely looking almost overwhelmed.

Accolon leaned over to Morgana, who was seated on her right. “I haven’t seen a bride that unenthusiastic about her engagement since Evaine agreed to marry Lord Ector.”

Morgana sighed. “She’s just nervous. She assures me she loves him and wishes to wed.”

“Evaine said the same, but we all know that wasn’t true.”

“Why else would Mithian want to marry Agravaine if not for love? It wasn’t an advantageous match for her.”

“Maybe it wasn’t Mithian who wanted it. Maybe it was Rodor.”

“You think Rodor deceived us?”

“He seems much happier than Mithian right now,” Accolon said. “Agravaine, however, is quite delighted. I don’t think I’d even seen the man smile before. Rather thought his face might crack if he did.”

Morgana shook her head. “Arthur arranged the marriage for love of Agravaine, so as long as he’s happy, and Rodor remains our ally, it is still in our benefit.”

“Yes, Camelot will need allies for the war to come,” Accolon said, taking a long drink of wine.

Morgana looked at him. “What do you know of Camelot’s enemies?”

“Some we share. The Saxons, in particular. Others would have us as their allies.”

“Oh? Who’s approached you?” she said nonchalantly, taking a sip of her wine.

“Your sister, for one,” he said.

“So that’s where she’s been. We believed she was with Cenred,” Morgana said.

“She was. They were both in Gaul, even before I was. She attended my coronation,” he said.

Morgana looked at him with surprise. “Does she have your friendship, then?”

“She left unsatisfied with my decision.”

“Which was?” Morgana asked.

“That my great affection for you would never allow me to side against you,” Accolon smiled.

Morgana returned his smile. “I’m fortunate indeed to have such a true friend as you.”

“You mean a great deal to me, Morgana. You always have,” he smiled. “Come, dance with me. If your betrothed does not mind, of course.”

Merlin was immersed in conversation with his father, and not paying attention.

“I would be honored, Your Majesty,” she said, taking his hand as he led her to the dance floor.

As the dancing continued, Morgana soon ended up dancing with Agravaine.

“Morgana, my dear girl, thank you again for your advocacy with the King,” he said, as he took her hand.

“I am so very happy for you,” Morgana said.

“I have never been happier. We are going to wed quickly, without much fuss. I can’t wait to be her husband,” he gushed.

Morgana snuck a glance at Mithian, who was dancing with Arthur. She supposed Accolon was right, she did not look like a woman thrilled to wed. She hoped she had not set up her uncle for a lifetime of unhappiness with a woman who did not wish to be his wife. What she knew of Mithian, however, is that she would be an honorable wife regardless.

By the end of the evening, her feet were throbbing from having danced with nearly every nobleman in attendance, but she stayed until the end to bid farewell to every attendee.

“I’ve hardly gotten to see you this evening. I didn’t even get a dance,” Merlin said, as he walked her to her chambers. She winced with every step.

Morgana laughed as Merlin swept her up like a bride, carrying her the rest of the way. “Well, you were quite busy as well, drinking with Accolon,” she said, burying her face into his shoulder. “Getting all caught up? I would think that might be awkward under the circumstances.”

“What, you think I should be jealous of a king?” he teased. “I would have only been slightly devastated if you’d accepted his proposal, never even knowing you were thinking of me the entire time.”

She flushed. “Ah, I see you were getting on quite well then. Gossiping more than women.”

“Accolon and I always got on well, he’s a good man. He just wanted to be sure there were no hard feelings about the past. The lads, they um, tend to talk, and he would always shut down any talk of you. He also said he knew it was me you loved then,” he grinned.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. “He told me this too. He’s very perceptive.”

“Not as much as you’d think. He didn’t know I was trying my best to suppress the feelings I had for you.”

“Were you now?” she asked, skeptically, as he put her down in front of her door.

“Of course, I just never allowed myself to think of us as a possibility. That’s why Freya…” he trailed off, as they entered her chambers. He lit her candles with a wave of the hand.

“Ah, I see,” she smiled sadly, knowing how he’d loved the poor girl. “I would have been happy for you, truly. Even as devastated as I would have been to never be with you, as long as I had your friendship, I could have borne the pain of unrequited love.”

“I almost left you though,” he said softly, touching her hair reverently. “I almost lost you.”

“I almost lost myself to the darkness inside of me,” she smiled sadly. “But I think we’re stronger because of our journey. We know what we’re capable of now, and what we can achieve together.”

“That’s coming together because of you. The choices you’ve made.”

“The choices we’ve both made. Those we’ve loved. Those we’ve lost. Those that will remain. You forget I see the future. You’ll see Freya again, we both will, Our Lady of the Lake,” she said, softly. “And much like our friend, Accolon, you should know that she’s happy for us. She wanted you to know that. She loves you and she’s happy for you.”

Merlin clasped his hand over his mouth and breathed deeply, his eyes brimming with tears. He took another deep breath and nodded his head. “Thank you,” he whispered, pulling her close.

“You’re welcome,” she said, holding him tightly.

. . .

“Accolon, what are you doing here?” Evaine whispered, pulling the door closed behind her. “You could wake Ector.”

“I had to see you. To tell you I still love you. That I still want you. When I saw you in the courtyard this afternoon, I…” he pulled her close and kissed her deeply.

She pulled away after a few moments. “Accolon, someone could see,” she said, looking around in alarm.

“Come, I know these halls better than anyone, I know where we can be alone,” he said, leading her down a chamber.


	32. Chapter 32

_The ground was scorched with fire, and the stench of blood and feces permeated the air. Even though the smoke had somewhat cleared, there was no man standing as far as she could see, just an empty valley of death. _

_Arthur laid at her feet, his eyes still open but empty as his spirit had moved on. She clutched the wound on her abdomen, bleeding out too quickly to make any attempt at healing. Arthur’s sword was still in Morgause’s chest, and Morgana grabbed hold of it, using it to help her slip down on the ground. She laid between her brother and sister, laying her head against her brother’s chest as she saw the sky for the final time, wishing for a miracle, but knowing one wasn’t coming. The Pendragon line was ending. _

_Tears streaked down her face, making paths in the soot and blood caked to her skin. She held up her blood-soaked hand, her gold wedding band catching the light of the dying sun. In her final moments she cried out to him…_

“Merlin!” she gasped, as she woke up.

“Shhhh, I’m here,” he said, holding her close to him. “I’m right here.”

She cried quietly against his chest for a few minutes, and he waited to speak again until she grew still. He asked her gently, “Do you want to talk about it?” She nodded, and pulled away, wiping away her tears.

She told him everything she saw, trying to remember every detail. The armor of the fallen soldiers of both their enemies and allies. Who was there and who was missing.

“I don’t understand. Gaul isn’t there. Accolon isn’t there. He promised his friendship, he wouldn’t go back on his word,” Morgana said.

“Maybe the battle was fought on two fronts? That may make sense if I wasn’t there. If Mordred wasn’t there. Although I can’t imagine letting you or Arthur out of my sight during a battle.”

She nodded. _Or you were already dead_, she thought to herself.

. . .

“I just don’t wish to make a fuss about it. We can celebrate our nuptials with a banquet when we return to Nemeth, My Lord,” Mithian said, her arm in Agravaine’s as they walked through the courtyard. The air was chilly and Mithian pulled her shawl closer as she shivered. “Arthur can marry us now, with just us and our family. Today, even. Why should we wait?”

“I don’t see a need to rush and forego a formal wedding, but I suppose if that is what you want,” he said, looking at her with confusion.

“It is. I just wish to be wed. To you, My Lord. Without a grand audience of spectators. Just with the people who matter the most to us,” she said, smiling up at him.

“Then it is what you shall have, my love. If something makes you happy, for the rest of our days together, you shall have it. Come, let’s find your father and Arthur, and we can be married this afternoon, if it pleases you.”

She smiled at him. “Thank you, My Lord. I hope I haven’t disappointed you.”

“You could never disappoint me, Mithian,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it.

They returned and requested to meet with Rodor, Arthur and Morgana privately, and told them they wished to wed immediately.

“But, Mithian, now? You want to marry this instant? My child, it’s so sudden. You’re only just engaged, what is the urgency?” Rodor asked with concern, frowning. “Are you? Has Agravaine…?”

“No, Father, I am not with child,” she sighed. “I just don’t wish to have a large spectacle of a wedding. Being involved in Morgana’s wedding plans has made me realize how much I don’t want that for myself. I just want to marry the man I love and be happy, it’s all I’ve ever really wanted. To have what you and Mother had. A happy marriage outside of all the pomp and circumstance of being King and Queen. We will have to live our whole lives and marriage before the Court, but I’d like our marriage to start out as a private affair, just between us. Just us and our family. Can we do that, Father, please?”

He hesitated. “I suppose, if Princess Morgana does not object to this. Her wedding is in a fortnight.”

Morgana looked at Mithian appraisingly. “Of course not, My Lord, if this is what Mithian truly wants.”

“It is, My Lady,” she said confidently.

“Very well, then,” Rodor said. “Arthur, I suppose, if you would do the honors.”

Arthur nodded, and they began the marriages rites.

“As Sovereign of Camelot, I thus seal your marriage. Lord Agravaine, your bride,” Arthur gestured.

Agravaine kissed her gently, and Mithian exhaled and smiled happily. Morgana, Arthur, and Rodor hugged them and gave their congratulations, and the couple left to take a private supper in their now-shared chambers. Rodor thanked Arthur and Morgana and took his leave, promising to dine with them privately that evening.

“I just don’t know what to make of that,” Arthur shook his head. 

“Nor do I, but they did seem happy. Mithian especially. I’m not sure what the hurry was, but they are joined now,” Morgana said. “And speaking of marriages, I still have a great deal to prepare for mine. I will see you at supper.”

“Leave the dragon in your room!” he called after her. “We’ve got company after all!”

“Not a chance!” he heard her call from the hallway.

. . .

“My love, we are finally together. Finally wed. I never believed I would find any woman who makes me feel as you do. You have made all of my dreams come true,” Agravaine said, kissing Mithian. He deepened the kiss and began to unlace the back of her gown.

She pulled away, his lips then landing on her neck. “I hope you will be happy, My Lord.”

“How could I not, with a wife as perfect as you? Brilliant. Fierce. Incredibly beautiful,” he said, as he let her gown slip past her shoulders, pooling at her waist. He pressed soft kisses across her collar bone, down her chest.

She cleared her throat. “Let’s have a drink first, My Lord. To toast our union,” she said, pulling away.

“A splendid idea, my love,” he said, watching in awe as she stepped out of her gown, admiring her toned body and her soft breasts through her shift.

She poured them both a drink, and handed him a goblet. “To our future, My Lord. One of safety and security for Nemeth and her sovereign.”

“And to us. Love and happiness in our union,” he said, as they toasted. He drank the goblet down as she sipped demurely.

“Now, My Lord, it is time we take to our marital bed,” she said, standing up and holding his head against her chest, stroking his hair.

He savored the feeling of being with her, her scent, her touch… what had he done in his life to deserve such happiness?

He blinked, suddenly sleepy, as she held out her hand to him. He stood up as she undressed him slowly until he was bare before her. She led him to the bed, and laid him down on his back. Almost immediately, he began to snore softly. She covered him with the bedsheet.

She exhaled with relief, her body suddenly trembling as she sat down at the table they had just shared, grasping her head in her shaking hands. How long could she keep up this deceit? That poor man. Her poor _husband_. He didn’t deserve any of this. She felt the tears stinging her eyes, when she heard the soft knock at the door. She quickly wiped her face and pulled on her robe before letting the visitor in.

The young red-haired girl in servant’s clothing entered, carrying a basket of linens and closed the door behind her.

In Morgause’s voice, she said, “Well? Is it done?”

“It is. We are wed, and he is asleep from the potion you gave me,” Mithian answered, looking at her warily.

“Good. Where is his seal?”

“Around his neck still.”

Morgause looked at Agravaine’s naked form in the bed with disgust. “Well? You’re his wife, you go fetch it.”

Mithian sighed and did as Morgause commanded, taking the seal from him. Morgause pulled out several scrolls from the basket of linens, melted wax at the desk and sealed the scrolls.

“You’ve done well,” Morgause said, handing her back the seal. She then pulled a vial from the pocket of her skirts. “Oh, and here is a potion that you may find useful. It will bring on light bleeding, help you convince your husband you’ve consummated your union. Men are ignorant and always expect blood when bedding a virgin, because they don't know how women's bodies work. Drink the whole thing. Unless of course you wish to actually bed him.”

“How long must I keep up this charade?” Mithian frowned, sniffing the potion before drinking it.

“It shouldn’t be too much longer. Camelot will soon fall, Nemeth will mind its own affairs, and you can do whatever you like with your new _husband_ once you return to your castle. Annul the marriage. Toss him from a cliff if you so desire. In the meantime, keep him distracted. If he realizes what commands have gone out under his name, it will put Camelot on notice. We need the element of surprise.”

“And the poppets?” Mithian asked.

“Will be delivered to you when Arthur is dead,” Morgause said. “Now, I have another task for you. I need your help freeing my allies from Camelot’s dungeon.”

“That wasn’t part of the deal,” Mithian seethed.

“Well, if you want to keep your father alive and your entire citadel from being poisoned, it is now. Await further instructions," Morgause commanded. "_Bedyrne ús. Astýre ús þanonweard," _she muttered and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Mithian pulled her arms around herself tightly to try to stop shaking. She looked over at Agravaine, asleep in the bed, madly in love with her and believing she loved him. She burst into angry tears.

Exhausted, she had no choice but to undress and climb into the bed beside him, staring at the ceiling, trying not to look at him or feel immensely ashamed. If only there had been another way to save her father, and their kingdom, without hurting Agravaine and betraying Arthur. She felt the chill in the air as the fire died down in the hearth. She grabbed the blanket at the foot of the bed, covering them both up for warmth and cried herself to sleep.

. . .

“Morgana,” he whispered, giving her a little shake. “Morgana!”

She groaned and opened one eye. It was still dark in the room.

“Merlin, whatreyoudoing,” she mumbled, turning over.

“It’s not Merlin. It’s me, Accolon,” he whispered.

“What the?” Morgana gasped, suddenly awake and sitting up. “_Bærn_,” she commanded her candles.

Merlin grumbled beside her. “Five more minutes.” Aithusa stirred and turned her head away from the candlelight.

“What’s happened?” she whispered, looking around. “Are we under attack? Where’s Arthur?”

“We’re under attack?” Merlin’s eyes opened then, and he leapt from the bed entirely naked, grabbing his trousers from the floor. “Accolon! What’s happening?”

Accolon cringed. “No, please, we aren’t under attack. I just need to talk to you.”

“Oh,” Merlin said, obviously confused, and got back under the covers.

Accolon sat on the bed, head in his hands.

Morgana pulled the sheet tighter around her and sat up in the bed. “Accolon, it’s the middle of the night. What’s so important?” she asked, curtly.

“I’ve… I’ve done something, and I need your support. I need Arthur’s support.”

“Could this possibly wait when we aren’t sleeping?” Merlin asked.

Accolon leaned back against the bedpost. “I still love her, Merlin! Surely you must know the feeling. To love someone you aren’t supposed to have. I know Morgana does. Oh, Merlin. How she loved you, and the despair she felt that she could never have you. Our shared anguish brought us together to seek comfort...”

Morgana sighed. “Accolon, you’ve been drinking.”

“That’s not… I have, but that’s not why,” he said, shaking his head. “She still loves me! She told me. And she wants to be with me, but her husband…”

“Is a lord in our court, and a very powerful one. I know what you would ask of Arthur, and I do not have to ask him to know his answer,” Morgana said, firmly.

Accolon closed his eyes, the tears threatening to fall. “Then what am I to do, Morgana? Spirit her away to Gaul?”

“No!” Merlin said. “You know what that would do to the alliance between Camelot and Gaul if you absconded with Lord Ector’s wife and made her your queen! You would make an enemy of Camelot. It would likely even destabilize Gaul. Your children would be illegitimate, their right to inherit in question. Accolon, think this through.”

He groaned, pulling at his hair. “What will it do to us to be apart? To live my life without her?”

“I know what it means to lose someone you love, not in these circumstances, but to death. You will love again, be happier than you can ever imagine,” Merlin said, leaning forward to squeeze his shoulder.

“I could never love another, not like I love her,” he said, sadly. He laid back down on the mattress and stared at the ceiling. “There will never be anyone but her.”

Morgana sighed. “And maybe you’re right, maybe you’ll never love anyone the way you love Evaine. I don’t presume to tell you how you feel or how you will feel in the future. But you must not jeopardize your kingdom for your own passions. You have a responsibility to your people, and that responsibility does not always coincide with our desires. I know I speak from a place of fortune, that I did not have to agree to a political marriage instead of one for love, but I know that Merlin and I both would sacrifice our own happiness to keep Camelot safe and secure. I know, deep down in your heart, Accolon, your honor and duty is more important to you than your own desires. Even though Gaul is not your homeland, they are your people now, and they are looking to you to keep them safe from their enemies, and… Accolon?”

She sighed, hearing his soft snores. “I have never seen him act so irrationally, not even when Evaine first refused him. This behavior, it is just beyond… Hopefully this was just drunken sadness talking and not his true intentions. This would be a disaster. Is this what fractures our alliance with Gaul? I can hardly believe this.” She ran her hand over her face in frustration.

“I can hardly believe your former lover has just passed out in your bed with us both naked,” Merlin said, looking over at Accolon and then at Morgana.

They both burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. Aithusa squawked in displeasure at all the noise.

“This is just awful. What are we to do with him, Merlin?” Morgana lamented, as her laughter turned to exasperation. Morgana shook Accolon, but couldn’t revive him. She groaned in frustration.

“He’s far too heavy for us to carry him, and the guards on duty tonight are notorious gossips. I’ll get his boots off, if you’ll get him a blanket. We’ll wake him up in a few hours, and get him back to his chambers before the castle awakes,” Merlin said.

They finally climbed back into bed, and Morgana nuzzled against Merlin’s chest. She curled her legs up to avoid kicking Accolon, but then realized she didn't really care if she did. “I suppose I have no business telling Accolon he should marry someone he doesn’t love for the good of his kingdom, when I get to marry the man I love.”

“Could you do it, if you were in his place? Marry someone you don’t love?”

“If it had been necessary, I would do my duty. If I had to do it to ensure the safety and prosperity of the kingdom. It would be a tremendous sacrifice, but that is the position I am in. Fortunately for us, most of the kingdoms we can build alliances with have no sons of marrying age anyway, or even any lords powerful enough that would be worth marrying. Other than Cenred, of course, and it would seem he prefers my sister. And Accolon who, well, is rather a mess at the moment.”

“I’m glad I get to marry you by default then,” he grinned into her hair as they settled back down to sleep. "I would hate for you to have continued living in such _anguish_..."

"Shut up, Merlin."

. . .

Morgana woke up from her dream with a gasp. “Oh no. No no no,” she said, in a panic.

She squinted in the dark room, her eyes adjusting to the soft light coming through the window. She quickly got up and dressed herself before returning to the bed with a potion and a glass of water.

She shook Accolon hard. “Wake up!” When he still wouldn’t wake, she threw the glass of water at his face.

He sputtered and groaned. “Where am I?”

“You’re in my bed, you drunken fool,” she scowled.

“I’m… what? Oh. Ohhhh,” he said, looking sheepish. “Morgana, please forgive me, I am utterly embarrassed by my crass behavior.”

“As well you should be. Here, take this, it will cure your inevitable headache,” she said, waiting for him to drink it, before shaking Merlin. “Merlin, wake up.”

Merlin opened his eyes and looked at her, then looked over at Accolon and groaned.

“Get dressed, Merlin, quickly. We need to see Arthur. It’s urgent. Gawant is about to be overrun, and Morgause will gain control of our southern ports. War is imminent.” She turned to Accolon. “_Your Majesty_, we need you to pull yourself together. Please. Camelot needs your help. Will you come to our aid?”

He nodded, looking chagrined. “Of course, Morgana.”

She grasped his hands and squeezed. “Good man. Merlin, wake Arthur and call the council together. We have to prepare for war.”


	33. Chapter 33

Arthur knelt over the map in frustration. “Once they’ve gained access to the southern ports, it’s already too late. Then we’ll have two weeks, three at the most before they arrive at our gates. And that’s likely in addition to the troops we know she has moving in from the East.”

“We can cut their forces off through Gedref,” Rodor said.

“I don’t think we’ll have enough, Sire. We need solid intelligence about their numbers to adequately plan,” Leon said.

“I will call for Kilgharrah, and conduct surveillance,” Balinor said.

Arthur nodded. “Please do so with haste, My Lord.”

Balinor pulled Merlin in for a hug before he left. “Take care of your mother. I will return soon.”

Arthur continued moving markers around the map. “We’ll need reinforcements from Gaul. Rodor, if you will permit Accolon’s men access through Nemeth, he can bring his forces across the channel. They will be late, but they may be our only hope if Morgause’s forces are as large as we suspect.”

“Of course, Arthur,” Rodor said.

“Accolon, how quickly can your men be called up and move out?” Arthur asked, trying to mentally calculate the number of days before reinforcements would arrive.

“That depends, Arthur. I have a request to make in exchange for my assistance,” Accolon said.

“Of course, Accolon. I am always happy to oblige you, my friend,” Arthur said, with slight surprise.

Morgana shook her head and mouthed “No” at Accolon. She wondered what spell she could cast at him to make him shut up, but it was too late.

“I want you to annul the marriage of Lord Ector and Lady Evaine. I wish to wed Lady Evaine and make her my queen,” he said. The room collectively gasped.

Lord Ector’s face went red with anger. “How dare you. King or not, you will not disrespect my wife, nor will you disrespect me.”

Arthur was stunned. “Accolon, have you lost your senses? You know I cannot.”

Accolon looked at him coldly. “Then I cannot help Camelot. My assistance comes with a price, that of my queen.”

Arthur shook his head. “You can have any eligible maid in Camelot you wish! Any lady would be eager to wed you. Lady Evaine is already wed.”

“A decision she regrets. She wishes this, as do I. We are still in love,” he announced boldly.

The room whispered in shock.

“Take back your vile slander of my wife this instant,” Lord Ector said, pointing a finger in his face. “My wife is faithful and would never debase herself with the likes of you.”

“Lady Evaine does not wish to be your wife any longer. And I am prepared to take her by force, if necessary,” Accolon threatened, placing his hand on the hilt of his sword.

“Accolon, be reasonable,” Arthur warned, stepping between the two men. “You can’t seriously want to jeopardize your kingdom…”

“I am serious. I will have Evaine as my queen.”

Lord Ector stepped around Arthur to face Accolon. “You will do no such thing,” he said, pulling his glove from his hand and throwing it at Accolon’s feet.

“I accept your challenge,” Accolon said, picking up the glove.

Arthur snatched the glove from his hand and slapped it back against Lord Ector’s chest. “No, this is preposterous. Lord Ector is no condition to fight you. He lost a leg fighting for my father a generation ago. Be reasonable, Accolon! There is no honor in this!”

“A challenge has been made and the challenge has been accepted, Sire,” Lord Ector said.

“I agree. We shall fight to the death for the hand of Lady Evaine,” Accolon said.

Arthur stood directly in front of Accolon menacingly. “Fine. If you insist on this absurdity, Lord Ector shall have a champion instead.”

“Agreed. I will fight on my own, however, I am no coward. Who is this champion?”

“You’ll fight me,” Arthur said, struggling to keep his anger in check.

“Arthur, no!” Morgana said in horror. “Please! You cannot do this. We don’t have time for this nonsense. Accolon, apologize and let us be friends again.”

“Sire, I must insist, I shall fight him myself,” Lord Ector said.

“Lord Ector, you may have been one of my father’s closest friends, and you’ve been like a father to me, but I am your king, and I will see this done myself. I owe nothing less to you, and to Camelot,” Arthur said.

“So be it, we shall fight for the hand of Lady Evaine,” Accolon said.

“Accolon,” Morgana said, fighting back tears. “Please don’t do this. Just let this go.”

“Would you not fight for your love, Morgana? Would you not expect Merlin to fight for you? Why should you ask this of me?” Accolon said bitterly.

Morgana shook her head in anger and fled from the room, sparks flying from her fingertips. Merlin followed her out.

“This is why Gaul isn’t there, in my visions. Arthur’s going to kill Accolon, and Camelot will fall. All because of a stupid, stubborn man thinking with his cock!” she shouted, shooting magic from her hands and cracking the stone of the wall in front of her. A maid nearby shrieked in terror and fled back down the hallway.

“Sorry!” Merlin called after the girl. He put his hands up in surrender and walked backwards towards the wall she nearly destroyed. Then he turned and put his hands on the wall and repaired it.

“And my foolish brother, thinking killing another king in combat isn’t going to ruin us all! Let Ector fight his own battles, let Accolon suffer the consequences of a retched choice for queen! Dammit!” she shouted, itching to blast another wall. Or Lady Evaine. Yes, that was what she needed to do…

“I’m going to see Evaine. She’s the only one who can stop this,” Morgana said through clenched teeth.

“Morgana, perhaps you should calm down before you… okay, yeah, I’ll shut up now,” he said as her eyes widened with rage.

She took a deep healing breath and exhaled slowly. “I am very calm, Merlin. I will make Evaine see the error of her ways, and put a stop to this foolishness.”

“I’ll, um, come with you. For… moral support,” he said.

She glared at him with suspicion. “Fine.”

She pounded on Evaine’s door when she reached it. A maid answered, and curtsied. “Your Highness.”

“I’m here to see your Lady,” she said, pushing her way inside past the maid.

“Princess Morgana!” Evaine said in surprise, giving a curtsy. Her long brown locks cascaded down her back in loose curls. “I did not know to expect you. Please do sit down. Lord Merlin, welcome.”

“Accolon has done something incredibly foolish and you need to put a stop to it,” she said bluntly, forgoing any pleasantries.

“Oh?” she said, not looking surprised.

“He demanded your marriage to Lord Ector be annulled and that he be allowed to wed you. Arthur refused, of course, and Lord Ector has challenged him to a duel,” she said, studying Evaine’s reaction.

She blinked at Morgana then replied. “I see. And when is this duel supposed to take place?”

“I don’t know, I left before that was determined. But Arthur will be your husband’s champion.”

Evaine’s face paled.

“Ah, there it is. You weren’t expecting _that_, now were you? That your husband wouldn’t be so disposable after all. That it wouldn’t be so easy for you to become Queen of Gaul,” Morgana practically hissed.

Evaine’s eyes widened. “My Lady, surely you do not think…”

“Oh, trust me, I know exactly what sort of person you are. You didn’t want Accolon when he was just a knight without much wealth or prestige. But now that he’s king, you regret throwing him away so callously. He loved you and you would have wanted for nothing. But it’s too late now. You can’t have him.”

Evaine’s eyes flashed in anger. “Perhaps it’s you who’s angry you didn’t choose him.”

Morgana’s eyes narrowed as she took another step closer. “Unlike you, I didn’t choose my husband based on his wealth or prestige. If you ever truly loved Accolon, you will tell him to call off this foolishness. He will surely die at my brother’s hand, and ruin us all. You are the only one that can convince him.”

“You act so sure Accolon won’t defeat Arthur,” Evaine said coldly, as though she weren’t speaking of the death of her king.

“And then what? Camelot and Gaul shall be enemies, and Camelot will fall. You would be an illegitimate queen, and Gaul will never accept you or your illegitimate children. Actually, that would never happen anyway,” she said, leaning in close to Evaine and lowering her voice menacingly. “Because if my brother is killed fighting Accolon, I become Queen of Camelot, and my first official act will be to tear off your head with my bare hands. You won’t be queen of anything.”

Morgana’s eyes flashed gold and with a raised hand she shot a blast of magic across the room and shattered a vase in the corner. Both Evaine and her maidservant shrieked in terror. She then turned and stormed out of the room.

Merlin cleared his throat as he followed Morgana out of the room. “That went well, I think.”

Morgana sighed. “Perhaps diplomacy isn’t my strong suit.”

“On the contrary, that was a good use of a threat of force. Perhaps next time utilize a carrot and not just the stick,” he chuckled, grabbing her hand and kissing it. “I’ve been thinking. You said something last night that made me think there may be more to this than we realize. You said Accolon never acted like this when Evaine first refused him and married Lord Ector instead. He’s a passionate sort, yes, but he’s never been unreasonable or irrational. What if… what if he’s been enchanted?”

“You’re starting to sound like Uther,” she frowned. “Not everything is sorcery. What if… he’s just an ass?”

“Okay, maybe so. But, look, this whole thing seems rather convenient for Morgause, doesn’t it? Accolon denied her an alliance, refusing because of his love for you and Arthur. Then he shows up here and torches that alliance because of a woman he hasn’t seen in, what, two years? It doesn’t make sense at all. What if she enchanted him? She certainly had access to him in Gaul.”

Morgana opened her mouth to argue, but then closed it again and sighed. “There is some logic to what you say. It would be preferable to our current situation, certainly. But how can we prove it? And more importantly, if it’s true, how can we reverse it?”

“I don’t know the answer to either question, but I think it’s worth looking into. I will leave you to managing these dollop-heads and I’ll get Gaius to help figure this out.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

He kissed her. “Don’t blow Evaine’s head off in the meantime. It would definitely mean the end of an alliance with Gaul, and Arthur would be very cross with you.”

She crossed her arms and scowled. “I make no promises.”


	34. Chapter 34

“Morgana, please understand why I must do this,” Accolon said. “Surely, if I mean anything to you…”

She looked pained, and pulled her hand away. “It is exactly my affection for you, Accolon, why I do not wish for you to take this path. Evaine is not worthy of your love. She is not worth your dishonor and the consequences that will befall our kingdoms, even if you were to survive this duel, and we both know the chances of that.”

Accolon winced. “I don’t care to live if I cannot have her. You must know that, without Evaine, I would rather die. I know how much you love Merlin, surely you would feel the same if you could not be with him, if he were wed to another instead.”

She looked at him with tired sympathy. “Of course, I can understand your grief. But she is not yours to have, and she never was. I implore you, stop this madness now.”

“I cannot! But you can! You can still convince Arthur! Please, Morgana!” he begged, falling to his knees before her.

“Accolon, you are a king! Get off of your knees!” Morgana snapped at him. “How can you let yourself be undone by pursuing another man’s wife? A woman who rejected you when you didn’t have enough money to quench her greed!”

“I wasn’t worthy of her then…” he said, staring at the floor.

“She wasn’t worthy of you! She still doesn’t know your worth, and nor do you that you would debase yourself in such a way!” Morgana shouted, then composed herself. “Accolon. My dear friend. Your worth isn’t because you’re a king, it’s because despite this sudden madness, you are a good man. She could have had you when you were merely a knight, a minor noble serving another king, a fine man who loved her. Instead, she chose a man who could provide her with more wealth. Please, Accolon. I beg of you, if you have any love for me. For your love of my brother, who was your king! Do not throw your life away to be with a woman who wouldn’t even sacrifice finery for you!”

“I’m sorry, Morgana,” he said, finally rising to look at her. He took her hand and kissed it. “I wish I wasn’t in love with her. I often wished to be in love with you instead, during the lonely nights we spent together. So help me, I do feel love for you and I did try. But it wasn’t enough then. It isn’t enough now. I can’t help how I feel.”

She shook her head. “I love a man who was born a peasant, and I would still have wed him even if he had remained so. If it meant living in a hovel with him at the ends of the earth, I would still choose him. So please don’t throw your life away for someone who didn’t choose you.”

“A choice you didn’t have to make, because your brother gifted him your father’s title. Evaine did not have such a luxury.”

“That’s not true! You weren’t a peasant. She didn’t have to choose a hovel to have you. You were a fine match for her, she would have wanted for no necessity or comfort, but it wasn’t enough. She does not love you, Accolon, or she would not encourage you to fight Arthur for her hand. She only wants to be queen. Even if you have no love for yourself, please do not make me endure this. Do not put me in a position where I either lose you or my brother. Either outcome will poison my love for the survivor and then where shall I be, having lost both my brother and my friend?”

A knock came at the door. “Princess Morgana, King Accolon, it is time,” Mordred said, gesturing outward. Morgana sighed and helped Accolon fasten his armor, kissing his cheek. Accolon’s resolve faltered for only a moment, and Morgana hoped he had finally come to his senses. But he pulled away and walked out first, gripping his sword tightly.

Morgana fought back tears and took a deep breath to compose herself, preparing to watch a man she loved die, feeling an immense betrayal that it would be her brother to slay her former lover. She did not know if she spoke it truly or if it was in the heat of the moment. How would she feel about her brother after he killed Accolon, and doomed them all for the honor of an honorless woman?

Morgana could feel Mordred’s magic soothing her, and she looked up at him in gratitude. She took his arm and he squeezed her hand comfortingly, as he escorted her to watch from a safe distance.

Arthur stood facing Accolon. “Final chance to settle this amicably, Accolon. Make no further advances on Lord Ector’s wife, make apologies to them both, and we can restore our friendship. You’re a man of honor, I know your worth. We can let this go and be allies.”

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way, Arthur. But I’m leaving here either with Evaine or covered in a shroud.”

Arthur exchanged a sad look with Morgana. “Very well. For the honor of Lady Evaine and Camelot.”

The two men began to parry, their swords meeting armor and shield. Morgana could hardly watch, and gripped Gwen’s hand tightly. Arthur was a fierce fighter with a great deal of stamina but Accolon was also a gifted swordsman, and quite savvy. He knew how to wear out an opponent quickly. Arthur’s blows were landing without effect, failing to pierce Accolon’s armor. Accolon, however, had landed several smaller blows that drew blood, having broken through places in Arthur’s chain mail. Arthur had become dizzy with pain. He raised his sword again against Accolon, and in a rage, hit him so hard his sword broke at the hilt.

Taking advantage of Arthur’s shock, Accolon knocked him to the ground, the broken sword clutched in his hand. Gwen gasped and covered her face, shaking with fear.

Accolon shouted, “Yield, Arthur! Don’t make me kill you to have what’s rightfully mine!”

Arthur gasped for breath. “I can’t do that, Accolon. I’ve sworn to fight you to the death, and would die a hundred times rather than break my oath.”

“Then die you shall,” Accolon said, rushing at him, just as Arthur stood back up.

He took another blow to the head from Accolon that made his vision blur. Stumbling forward, Arthur pressed his shield against Accolon’s body, and stabbed him with his broken sword through a spot of vulnerability he had just noticed in his armor, puncturing his lung.

Accolon fell backwards, dropping his sword, gasping for breath.

“Accolon!” Morgana rushed to him, breaking free of Mordred’s grip as he tried to hold her back.

She cradled his head in her lap, as he coughed up blood, quickly losing consciousness. “Arthur, please! It’s enough! He yields!”

Since Accolon was in no condition to protest, Arthur threw down his sword. “This is done! King Accolon yields and I shall spare his life!” He turned to Morgana and gestured to Mordred to assist, “You may take him to be healed.”

“Healed?!” Lord Ector sputtered. “This man wanted a duel to the death, he should get what he asked for!”

Morgana looked at Arthur pleadingly. “No,” Arthur said. “The King of Gaul shall be healed, and peace restored between our kingdoms. This conflict has ended.”

Beside him, Lady Evaine looked unhappy but kept her face even, knowing all eyes were on her. Either Arthur’s death or Accolon’s would have improved her status, but her failed lover’s continued alliance with Camelot would do her no favors, merely a reminder of her unhappy match and a continued scandal in Camelot’s Court.

Mordred assisted Morgana to take him back to Gaius’s laboratory. If they could heal him physically, perhaps they could heal his mind as well if Merlin was correct.

“Anything?” Morgana asked, as Mordred carried him in. Kara and Merlin were working diligently at a cauldron.

“His chambers came up empty, every object we took and examined has come back clear of magical influence. If it is indeed magic impairing his judgment, it is complex and unusual, and may not have been implemented by a magical object,” Gaius said, removing Accolon’s personal affects and handing them to Alice, then he examined Accolon’s wounds. “But we will now test the objects on his person.”

“I closed the wound in his chest, but he still has difficulty breathing and I cannot get the bleeding to stop internally. Merlin, I need your help,” Morgana said, washing Accolon’s blood from her hands. Merlin nodded and came to assist her. He kissed the top of her head gently and then went to examine Accolon, who was still unconscious.

“This will be incredibly difficult to heal, his lung has been pierced, and… did the sword break?” Merlin asked, looking closely at the wound.

“Yes, I can’t even imagine how that happened. But the sword Arthur used was already broken before Arthur ran him through with it. Shards are likely remaining in his chest.”

Merlin exhaled. “This isn’t a simple wound, it’s going to take some time. I suggest we get comfortable. Morgana…” he said, preparing to tell her to not get her hopes up about their success.

_I know_. Morgana nodded, blinking away her tears furiously as they sat on stools on either side of Accolon, and put their hands on his chest and began working.

Meanwhile, Gaius, Alice and Kara filled Mordred in on the object they believe was enchanted, the ring on his finger.

“This is what we’ve been looking for, but it’s worse than we expected. If it was a normal magical object, it would have been easy to negate its effects. But this one is some sort of, oh, what did you call it, Gaius?” Kara asked, showing Mordred through the glass enclosure.

“Diffuser,” Gaius said.

“Basically, it’s putting off a magical scent,” Kara said. “Likely, since the King was already in love with the Lady Evaine, it didn’t take much to impair his judgment. This object puts off only a very small amount of magic and builds over time.”

“Small enough too that it would only affect Accolon. It would be obvious if everyone around him started acting desperately in love, I suppose,” Mordred said, examining the object.

“Exactly. We will need to pull the contents and avoid inhaling the mixture ourselves. Once we have identified the ingredients, we’ll need to find a way to counteract it,” Alice said.

“What was the purpose? An attempt to kill Arthur?” Mordred frowned.

“I think that was one possible outcome. Poison the King’s mind and he causes trouble in Camelot to get his lady love. His lady’s husband is an older man, and would need a champion,” Gaius said.

“And Arthur’s never one to let others fight for him. He wouldn’t let any of us fight Accolon on his behalf, despite our protests,” Mordred said.

“If Accolon wins, Arthur dies, Morgana becomes Queen. If Arthur wins, Accolon dies, and Camelot loses a valuable ally in the war to come,” Kara said. “Very convenient for our enemies.”

“The duel was certainly rigged against our King. His sword broke, a sword I personally inspected before the duel. That cannot have been mere coincidence,” George said, entering Gaius’s laboratory, carrying the broken shards of Arthur’s sword.

Mordred took the sword from him and examined it. “I would say Lady Gwen can tell us best, but I imagine the steel had been weakened through some method. Did you sharpen it today, George?”

“Yes, Sir Mordred. As His Majesty directed,” he said, frowning at the pieces.

“We should examine the sharpening stone and take both to Lady Gwen for her opinion,” Mordred said. “We cannot chance that our weapons will be compromised again in the future.”

“Arthur, you should have Gaius take a look, you’re injured,” Gwen fussed, cleaning the blood off of his face.

“I’m fine, they need to devote all of their attention to Accolon, he is much more seriously injured. I will check in later when I know Accolon is improved,” he said, grabbing her hand and kissing it.

“You gave me quite a fright when your sword broke,” Gwen said, applying a clean bandage to his head. “I have never been so frightened, in fact.”

Arthur felt a twinge of shame in his chest, a strange sensation since he had fought admirably for a lady’s honor and therefore would have nothing to feel shame for.

There was a knock on the door.

“Sire, we’re here to see Lady Gwen,” Mordred said, with George beside him. “We need her opinion.”

“Of course, come in. She is at your disposal. George can assist me,” Arthur said, as George helped remove his shirt to bandage the wounds on his side.

Gwen frowned at the sight of her love’s battered body, but turned her attention back to Mordred. Examining the sword and the sharpening stone, they determined it had, in fact, been sabotaged.

“This is some of the finest steel in all of Albion, it never should have broken. It was certainly sabotaged. See here, the weakening of the steel provided a flaw that was likely to produce breakage,” Gwen said.

“My Lady, could you please assist us in an inspection of the armory? I fear the sabotage will become more widespread if we have another saboteur among us.”

“Of course,” she said. “Sire, please go see Gaius soon.”

“I will, My Lady,” Arthur said, grimacing as George cleaned his wounds.

. . .

“It’s similar to other enchantments I’ve seen, Gaius, and yet still unique,” Alice said, writing down the ingredients they had identified. “I am at a loss on how to counteract this concoction. I think it’s safe to say that Morgause is the one who created it. We will need to ask Morgana if she might recognize the spell.”

“She did once speak of an enchantment she dreamed she had used on Gwen. An enchanted bracelet to make old feelings resurface. But that spell was easily broken. This is more sinister. I can feel the magic in it, it is dark and twisted,” Gaius said.

“Perhaps the Druids can help?” Kara suggested. “I could ride to the village.”

“I think that is an excellent idea, my dear girl,” Alice agreed. “This spell certainly has similarities with Druid magic.”

“Make sure you have an escort, and ride swiftly. There’s no time to lose. Should Accolon recover physically, we must heal his mind as well.”

Kara sprinted down the hall to find Sir Leon. His eyes were wide when she appeared before him panting. “I have to get to the Druid village immediately. Urgent medical matter, I’ll explain on the way.”

Leon nodded. “Then we must leave now. Sir Iain! We have a mission!”

. . .

Aglain examined the magical object and reviewed Alice’s notes before rejoining Leon, Iain and Kara at the camp fire. “Kara, I have identified the spell, it is one used by the high priestesses, although I’ve not seen it used in quite this way or this potent. Most alarmingly, it has been corrupted by dark magic.”

“Is there a way to break the enchantment? My Lady fights to save this King’s body, but his mind is maddened by this spell,” Kara asked.

“I do not know of a way to break the enchantment, merely to redirect the magic, so to speak. The spell was designed to rekindle a lost romance by one who longs for its return, as a way of channeling one’s own feelings, not a spell to be used on others. But it was corrupted to be used against this man’s will. It can be redirected with another concoction, by rekindling another romance. The ingredients are not rare and should be in Gaius’s possession already. A mixture can then be applied to the lips of a former lover, and the original spell broken with a kiss between the two of them. But the kiss will bind the afflicted to this former lover, although not to the extent of madness that he is currently experiencing. He should regain his faculties.”

Leon paled. “What do you mean by binding him and the former lover?”

“Assuming there was some level of affection between them, it will rekindle it, just as the original spell. Diluted, not to the point of mania as the original spell, but they will be in love and bound to one another.”

“What if… what if the former lover is already in love with someone else?” Leon asked.

“I can’t be certain the exact effect,” he said. “Although done consensually, this is still dark magic, one with uncertain consequences. I only know what the spell commands, and that’s to bind the couple.”

“Is there no other way than spreading the curse of this enchantment to another?”

“None that I know of, other than perhaps Morgause reversing the spell herself.”

“Thank you for your help,” Leon said, extending his hand.

“We look forward to seeing you at the Princess’s wedding,” Aglain said, shaking Leon’s hand.

_Hopefully_, Leon thought.

“How are we supposed to find a former lover? What if he hasn’t any?” Kara asked.

Leon frowned. “He does, and she is accessible to us.”

“But will she help?” Kara asked.

“I believe so, yes,” Leon said, with a sad smile.

. . .

“Thank you for your help, Kara. Get some rest,” Merlin said to the exhausted girl. She nodded sleepily and Iain offered her an arm and escorted her to her chambers.

“Surely this is a cruel jest,” Merlin said in a whisper, glaring at Leon. He clutched the incantation in his fist.

Leon raised his hands in surrender. “I tell you only what the Druid told me.”

Merlin looked over at Morgana as she tenderly washed Accolon’s forehead and tended to his more minor wounds with her exhausted magic, and closed his eyes with a sudden blaring headache.

“So, in order to save him, to save Camelot, I will lose her,” he said, defeated, slumping into a chair, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. “I should have known it was all too good to last. I’m going to lose her to Accolon.”

“He wasn’t certain exactly what effect it would have, since she already loves you. He’d never cast the counter-spell before, just that it would have a binding effect on the two of them.”

“The incantation makes it pretty clear what it means.” Merlin suddenly frowned.

“Merlin, there must be another way,” Leon insisted.

“If there is, we’re out of time to find it. Once Accolon is recovered, he’ll renew his attempts at making Evaine his queen.” He groaned in frustration. “No. Accolon be damned, I should just burn the parchment. I’d rather suffer her wrath than lose her.”

Leon gripped his shoulder as a gesture of comfort. “My friend, do you think you wouldn’t lose her if she finds out you kept the antidote from her? She isn’t one to easily forgive betrayals of trust.”

“It isn’t an antidote, it’s a curse,” Merlin muttered. “But you’re right, I don’t have the luxury of being selfish, too much is at stake, including her own life.”

Merlin looked so forlorn, Leon frowned and sighed. “I’ll keep your confidence for now and instruct Kara and Iain to do the same. To give you the chance to tell her yourself.”

“Thank you,” he said, looking back at Morgana, the sound of his own heart breaking audibly in his ears. “Would you please update Accolon’s guard and send someone in to watch him overnight? Morgana needs to rest.”

Leon left and Merlin joined Morgana beside the unconscious Accolon.

“Any change?” he asked her, kissing the top of her head and massaging her shoulders.

She hummed appreciatively. “Not really. He’s still very pale, and hasn’t stirred at all. His breathing does seem improved, so I’m feeling optimistic.”

“I’ve sent for his guard to monitor him overnight. You need your rest, we both do. The magic we did today was incredibly taxing. I don’t think I could light a candle right now.”

She nodded. “You’re probably right. We should sleep in your chambers though, so we will be close by if anything happens.”

Merlin closed the door to his room and unlaced her blood-stained gown. They slid under the covers of his small bed, with her half-way laying on him to both fit.

“How are you holding up, my love?” he asked her, as he stroked her hair.

She sighed. “I need to tell you something. Something terrible I did.” He felt her warm tears on his chest. “I thought Accolon was going to kill Arthur and so I…” she trailed off.

“So you…?” he prompted, confused.

“I broke through his chain mail with my magic. Where Arthur hit him, that vulnerable spot was because of me. If Accolon dies, it’s because of me,” she whispered.

“Oh, my love, no. This is not your fault. You protected Arthur, you had no choice.”

“Arthur would be furious if he knew. I swore I wouldn’t interfere. And it would certainly mean war with Gaul.”

“We don’t think you’re the only one who interfered. Mordred thinks Arthur’s sword was tampered with, which is why it broke.”

“I just… I don’t know how to feel. It’s an impossible situation. I also thought in the moment, if I intervened, if I caused Accolon’s death instead of Arthur, maybe I wouldn’t hate Arthur afterwards. I would just hate…”

“Hate yourself? Morgana, you have nothing to be ashamed about. This isn’t your fault. And it seems it isn’t even Accolon’s fault, since he was enchanted.”

“Even if he lives, if we can’t break the enchantment, he’ll just try again, and we’ll be back in the same situation. My visions… Arthur will die. I will die. Even Morgause will die. Camelot will fall.”

Merlin sighed. “Do you truly believe that without Gaul fighting with us against Morgause, that all is lost?”

“Yes. I made a choice and I doomed us by saving my brother. It was selfish.”

“No, Morgana, it wasn’t. Your duty is to your king.”

“And I’ve doomed him anyway. I’ve brought this destruction upon us,” she said, stifling a sob.

Merlin sighed. He thought back to their conversations about duty. He was going to lose her anyway. On a battlefield, dying beside her brother. This way, at least she and Arthur had a chance. 

“That’s not true. You can reverse the enchantment on Accolon,” he sighed. “The Druids knew how.”

She gasped. “Merlin, that’s wonderful!”

He nodded.

“Oh no, what’s wrong. You don’t seem pleased,” she asked, sitting up.

He ran a hand over his face. “It’s fine. I’m just tired, is all. We’ll discuss it tomorrow. Let’s get some rest. I’m exhausted, and you need your rest as well.”

“Okay,” she said uncertainly, laying back down and curling up beside him.

“I love you,” he said, softly kissing her head, wondering if it would be the last time he would fall asleep holding her.


	35. Chapter 35

Accolon’s breathing was much improved by morning, and Merlin felt confident that they had magically removed all of the shards of metal from his lung. By afternoon, Accolon had regained consciousness and taken in a little broth spoon-fed by Morgana, before she put him back to sleep magically to control his pain.

Merlin still hadn’t discussed the counter-spell with Morgana, and she’d been too busy for them to talk about it anyway. Instead, he directed Kara to begin working on the potion under Alice’s supervision. He needed to tell Morgana, he knew, but he needed time to process it first himself so he could support her in this decision. He decided he could use support himself from his friends.

Merlin went in to speak with Arthur first, and found Gwen already inside his chambers.

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Gwen offered.

“No, Gwen, please stay,” Merlin said, running a hand through his unkempt hair. “I needed to let you know that Morgana and I will be calling off the wedding. I thought you should hear why from me.”

“Merlin, what on earth are you on about?” Arthur rolled his eyes. “If this is about the impending war, we still have at least a month until conflict reaches Camelot. There is no reason why we shouldn’t have…”

“That’s not it. It’s Accolon.” Merlin explained about the enchantment, and how the only way to break it was to bind him with a former lover. The only one they knew of was Morgana.

“Oh Merlin, no!” Gwen exclaimed, putting an arm around him. “This is too much to ask.”

“It’s the only way. If Gaul is not with us, you and Morgana both will die on the battlefield. Arthur, you don’t see how she wakes up in the mornings sobbing from her visions, how she has to relive your death and hers over and over again. If we have a strong ally like Accolon, then maybe we stand a chance and Camelot won’t fall. Maybe you’ll live. Maybe Morgana will live. And if that means I have to lose her to Accolon, I…” his voice broke and he shook his head, fighting back tears. “I love her enough to let her go.”

Arthur sighed, and pulled him in for a hug. “You’re a good man, Merlin. The best of men, really.”

Merlin sniffed and wiped his face with his sleeves as he pulled away. “I haven’t told Morgana yet. But there isn’t another option. She’ll do it because it’s her duty. She’ll make a fine Queen of Gaul.”

Arthur’s face hardened. “Dark magic, aside, I’m still king, Merlin, and she’s still my sister. Accolon will not wed my sister, I refuse to allow it. She’s been promised to you.”

“I won’t force her to marry me if she no longer loves me. Even if the reason for that is dark sorcery. I love her enough to want her to, not just live, but be happy,” Merlin said. “I just wanted you to hear it from me, to know… I’ll be okay.” He left the room looking the most defeated Arthur had ever seen him. He was definitely not okay.

“Oh, Arthur, there must be some other way,” Gwen lamented. “You don’t know how long Morgana has loved him.”

Arthur put his arms around her, holding her close. “What are we supposed to do? How can we possibly overcome dark magic?”

Gwen sighed. “We need to have faith in Morgana and Merlin, that they will find a way through this. That love cannot so easily be forgotten.”

. . .

Leaving Accolon in Alice’s care, Merlin took Morgana back to her chambers to tell her the news about the counter-spell.

“That’s ridiculous, Merlin,” she said, stubbornly. “If the spell will rekindle the feelings Accolon and I had for each other, then all it will have is the effect of an aphrodisiac. If I start having magic-induced sex dreams about Accolon, you’ll be the beneficiary when I wake. He’ll be in Gaul, hardly a threat to our marriage.”

“Aglain didn’t describe it that way. He said it would bind you together.”

“Well, we’ve certainly been ‘bound’ before, and we got over it,” she rolled her eyes. “Merlin, you’re being dramatic. No stupid spell is going to erase my love for you, my desire to marry you. Have you so little faith in me?”

He took her hand and kissed it. “In you, I have all the faith in the world. In your sister’s twisted magic, I have none. Your sister’s magic infected your mind and made you want to kill your brother to take his crown. If it can do that, it can convince you that you love Accolon and not me.”

She gave him a dour look. “It doesn’t really take much for me to want to kill Arthur." She sighed. "Even if you’re right, we could just try the counter-spell a second time. You would then be my former lover, and the magic should bind us together.”

“I’m sure we could try that, yes,” he said, patiently.

“You don’t think that will work. Why?” she asked.

He sighed, pulling out a scrap of parchment to show her. “That’s what I’d hoped for as well based on what Leon initially said, but the words of the potion’s incantation say otherwise. You’ll be bound to him as his one true love and he as yours. There’s no undoing it once it’s done, and it can’t be redirected again.”

She read the words and crumpled it up, throwing it to the floor. “What happens to the enchantment if I rip Evaine’s head off her shoulders?” she shouted in anger.

“Accolon’s madness will still continue, and he’ll be the downfall of us all,” he answered her, sitting on the bed watching her pace around the room agitated.

She suddenly shot a blast of magic across the room, smashing her vanity to pieces. He flinched but said nothing.

“I’m not sure which is worse, to lose myself to black magic, or for you to watch it happen,” she said with an eerie calm, despite a desperate look in her eyes.

“I suppose if I didn’t understand Accolon’s pain yesterday, I do today,” he said with a sad smile.

“Oh Merlin,” she said, kneeling on the ground in front of him and burying her head in his lap. “What am I to do? If it were only to save my own life, I would spend these next precious weeks as your wife and to hell with Accolon.”

“If it were only to save your life, I would have let you perform the counter-spell without knowing what you were sacrificing,” he said, wryly.

She laughed bitterly. “I can’t blame you for that, I would do the same to save your life.”

“But it’s not so simple. It isn’t just about us, or our lives. We have a duty,” he reminded her of their previous conversation.

“We have a duty,” she said, in a hollow voice, looking up at him. “When do we need to perform this duty?”

“Alice is keeping Accolon sedated through today, that should give him enough time to rest and she is working on the remaining healing spells. Tomorrow, or else his guards will begin to suspect.”

She nodded.

“I told Arthur and Gwen already, so we can have this time to ourselves, no one’s expecting us.”

“If this is our last night together,” Morgana said, finally. “Then I don’t want to waste it feeling sorry for ourselves.”

He held out his hand to her and she rose from the floor. He pulled two rings from his pocket.

“I thought we could do this tonight. Say our vows, with our rings. Just us,” he said, softly, looking at the rings they were supposed to exchange at their ceremony. 

“I’d like that,” she said, admiring the rings. 

He cleared his throat as he held her ring in his hand. “I hadn’t quite figured out what I wanted to say to you at our wedding, so forgive me for a lack of eloquence and poetry. Morgana, if all the time I get with you is what we’ve already had, it’s more than I could ever have hoped or ever deserved. I am thankful for you every day. I would have made a mess of things. Listened to voices that told me I shouldn’t trust you, when you’re the one I needed to trust the most. What I would have missed out on if not for you. Your bravery, your kind heart that led to you becoming a healer, to becoming the Princess of Camelot. You struggle with the darkness inside of you, but you have never let it control you. The sacrifice you’re making now, to save your brother, to save Camelot. That’s the incredible woman you are. Thank you, for every day you’ve given me. I promise I will love you until I take my last breath. I will love you, I will honor you, I will protect you, here and past the shores of Avalon.”

He blessed the ring with an incantation and slipped the ring onto her finger. “_Fàsaidh ar gaol_.”

She took the other ring from him and brought it to her lips. “Merlin, it was your love that saved me from the darkness. In every vision, when I had turned to darkness, it was because your love wasn’t there. Because I had turned away from it. Thank you for loving me, even when that meant trusting someone you were told was an enemy. Thank you for believing in me, for supporting me even when you had doubts, for fighting for me, for protecting me from myself. I suppose I can’t promise I’ll love you for the rest of my days,” she blinked away tears and exhaled slowly to regain composure. “But I want to. I love you now. Please always remember that. Remember it for both of us. Here, in my right mind, absent of any dark sorcery, you are my choice. My heart. The other half of my soul. And I am grateful for your love today, even if tomorrow I can no longer return it. I can only hope that if we can’t be together in this life, that the triple goddess will reunite us at the shores of Avalon. I promise you now, this moment, if it’s all we have, I am yours, and you are mine.” 

She blessed the ring with the same incantation and slipped it onto his finger. “_Fàsaidh ar gràdh.”_

He kissed her gently, then pulled away to look at her, to commit her to memory. He walked behind her to unlace her dark green gown, and slid it past her shoulders, down her waist to the floor. He helped her step out of it, and kissed her again, sweeping her up into his arms, carrying her to the bed. 

He undressed slowly, pausing in between to kiss her, trying to pour every ounce of his love into every touch, every kiss. Once he was bare in front of her, he was suddenly nervous. It wasn’t as though they hadn’t been doing this for months, it seemed absurd. But to know it would be the last time, he could hardly stop from trembling. 

Sensing his trepidation, she sat up in the bed and held out her arms to him, holding him against her. She put her hand to his face and lifted it to hers, kissing him slowly and thoroughly. 

Finally, she pulled away, lifting her shift over her head and pulling him to her again, positioning him above her. “I am yours, and you are mine,” she repeated. 

“I am yours, and you are mine,” he said, kissing her again.

He pushed into her, their bodies becoming one, consummating their union. 

. . .

Morgana woke up from her dreamless slumber well before Merlin, who was exhausted from the past three nights of poor sleep. She studied his boyishly handsome face, illuminated by the moonlight coming from her window, as though she might never look upon him again. 

She looked down at her ring, the same one she had only ever seen in her dreams, the one Merlin had insisted on surprising her with by designing it himself. She of course already knew what it looked like, how perfect it was: engraved with the etching of a dragon. It was nice to finally see it on her hand while she was awake, and not in a nightmare. His left hand was draped across her waist, and she admired the matching rings together. 

How could she simultaneously be so happy and yet so miserable? They had just exchanged vows and their rings. She didn’t want this to end; a lifetime didn’t seem like enough, and one single night was certainly not enough. Aithusa, who must have sensed her growing despair, awakened and crawled into her bed, snuggling beside her. She laid her head on Morgana’s stomach and chirped, “Mama.”

Morgana looked at her in shock. Her first word! 

Merlin opened his eyes. “Did she just talk?” 

Morgana laughed. “Say it again, Thuse! Say ‘mama’!”

“Mama!” Aithusa repeated, snuggling closer. 

“Oh, you beautiful, brilliant girl!” she hugged her. Then she pointed to Merlin. “And who’s that, Thuse?”

“Papa,” she said. 

“Mama and Papa,” Morgana repeated in wonder, petting the little dragon’s head. The dragon nuzzled her stomach in response.

_“Mama! Papa!” the little dark-haired girl squealed, running as the dragon chased her on foot, flapping her massive wings only for effect. Aithusa was big enough for the child to ride, but they both preferred to chase one another instead. Morgana certainly preferred her human child on the ground as well._

_“Vivi, be careful,” she laughed, holding her swollen belly. “You be careful too, Thuse. You’re much bigger than her.”_

_“Yes, Mama!” Thuse said as she ran past her. _

_“Papa! Papa, where are you?” the little girl called. _

“Morgana? Hey, where’d you go just then?” Merlin asked her.

“Sorry,” she said, lost in thought. “Hey, Thuse, there’s still a few hours until dawn, back to your bed now, okay?”

The sleepy dragon yawned and did as she was told. 

“Let’s not waste any more time sleeping,” she said, kissing Merlin deeply and reaching for him under the sheets. 


	36. Chapter 36

The morning was already not going well by the time Balinor arrived. The sorcerers of The Order had escaped in the night, and it was obviously an issue of sabotage on the inside. Balinor’s news was even worse: The Southern ports had not been taken, they had been opened to the enemy.

“What do you mean, opened?” Arthur demanded. “By whose order?”

Balinor sighed, and looked to his left. “The orders were signed and sealed by Lord Agravaine.”

“What? That’s preposterous. I never made any such order. It must be a forgery!” Agravaine said, shocked.

“I have the orders here,” he said, handing it to Arthur.

“This is dated only days ago. How did it reach the Southern ports so quickly?”

“I would suspect it was teleported by magic,” Balinor said.

“Is this your seal, Uncle?” Arthur asked, the hurt in his voice apparent.

“It couldn’t possibly be, I didn’t issue those commands,” Agravaine said. 

“Uncle, your seal,” he said, extending his hand.

Agravaine sighed and pulled the chain from around his neck and handed it to Arthur. Arthur handed the seal and the documents to his clerk. Geoffrey of Monmouth shook his head. “The seals match perfectly.”

Agravaine turned red with fury. “No, it’s impossible! Those documents are a forgery. I didn’t issue those commands, and the seal never leaves my neck. No one could possibly get access to...” he said, not finishing his sentence.

Arthur shut his eyes, a searing pain in his head. What other harms might he have done? There was no time for this. “I really should have known better. Sir Elyan, escort my Uncle to the dungeon. He’ll be tried for treason.”

Agravaine opened his mouth as though to say something, and just closed it, shaking his head sadly as he was walked out.

Arthur rubbed his temples. “Lord Balinor, how long before we can expect war in Camelot?”

“Within the month at best, Sire,” he said.

“And the strength of their troops?”

“They outnumber us five to one, but fortunately, with our allies, particularly if Gaul can bring her forces on time…”

Arthur sank down into his chair and ran a hand over his face. He knew Balinor had come directly to him and hadn’t seen Merlin yet. He dismissed the rest of the council, except for Leon and Gwen.

“So, all really is lost without Gaul?” Arthur asked. Gwen put a comforting hand on his shoulder but she looked on the verge of tears herself.

“Why? What’s happened?” Balinor asked. “Why wouldn’t Gaul be with us?”

“They will be,” Merlin said, as he and Morgana entered the room.

Arthur slammed his fist on the table his face twisted with anger. “No! Morgana, I won’t allow it.”

She took his face in her hands, and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Brother. But it isn’t your decision to make.”

Arthur grabbed her left hand and examined the gold ring upon it.

“It isn’t binding, at least not legally,” Merlin said, answering his unasked question. “It’s just… something we wanted to do before casting the counter-spell.”

Balinor looked confused, and Gwen explained what he’d missed.

“Oh, son. There has to be another way,” Balinor said, horrified.

“Everyone keeps saying that, but we’re out of time,” Merlin smiled sadly.

“Quite literally, in fact, Merlin. We need him to order the troop movement from Gaul, war will reach us within the month,” Leon said grimly.

“Oh, Morgana, I’m sorry,” Arthur said miserably. “I’ve failed you.”

She smiled at him sadly. “No, of course not. It was my own folly. I should have listened to you. I was naïve to think Morgause wasn’t my enemy. She always was; even in my original visions she was my downfall. All this time I wanted to mount a strike on Odin, but he was never the real threat, it was always Morgause. But this time, we stand a chance to defeat her. Can I make a request, however?”

“Of course. Anything,” he said.

“Would you just marry Gwen already? We should still celebrate a wedding next week,” she smiled. “And Camelot needs her Queen before we go to war.”

Arthur looked at Gwen, who smiled and shrugged.

Morgana hugged Arthur. “I want you to know how much I appreciate that you accepted my love for Merlin, and welcomed him as family,” she whispered in his ear, fighting off tears. “He’s still family, no matter what. You take care of him, okay?”

“I promise,” Arthur said, blinking back tears.

She pulled away and took Merlin’s hand, and they left to complete their mission.

. . .

They walked in to find Alice, Gaius, Kara and Mordred huddled together arguing at a whisper. The four of them fell silent when Morgana and Merlin walked in.

“Ah, I see you know what’s about to happen,” Morgana said in a clipped tone. Her face softened before she continued. “Merlin and I have come to terms with it. If you could please give us some privacy, we need to talk to Accolon first.”

One by one they left the room, with silent gestures of comfort on their way out.

“Everyone acts like I’m dying,” Morgana said, lightly.

“I think it’s me they pity. You’ll be running off with a king. With you gone, Arthur will probably start making me wash his trousers again, you know George puts too much starch into them,” Merlin quipped.

She smiled at him with amusement and kissed him softly. “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

From behind them, Accolon stirred on the cot.

Morgana kissed him again, then pulled away. “You should go. You shouldn’t have to watch this. I don’t wish to cause you more pain.”

He grabbed her hands in his. “I am here for you until it’s done.” He kissed her for the last time.

Morgana applied the salve to her lips, then waved her hand over Accolon, lifting the sleep spell entirely.

“Morgana. Merlin. What’s happened?” Accolon said, looking around, confused.

Merlin explained. “You were run through with Arthur’s sword. He spared your life, and we healed you. You’ve lost. You must let Evaine go. We can be friends again, Accolon. Arthur forgives you. It isn’t your fault. You were under an enchantment, it made you act crazed in pursuit of Evaine.”

“Nonsense, you’re just trying to make me give up on Evaine. I will challenge Arthur again, and this time I shall not fail,” he said, his face contorted in anger.

Morgana looked at Merlin with pain in her eyes. She took a deep breath and said to Accolon, “I can cure this sickness, if you’ll let me. I can take the madness away.”

He laughed bitterly. “Oh, how I wish that were so. The torment I feel to not be with her is killing me, she is burned into my very soul. But you couldn’t possibly take away the love I have for Evaine. Even with your magic.”

“I can, but there’s a cost.”

“What cost?”

“The love I have for Merlin. I would bind myself to you instead, and in return, you would be bound to me. But you would burn no longer, this madness would end.”

He looked at her with confusion, then looked at Merlin. “Why would you do that?”

“To save you. To save all of us,” she said, tears escaping down her cheeks.

Accolon brought a hand up to wipe them away. “I don’t understand.”

“If you don’t provide troops from Gaul to support Camelot, we will all perish. Arthur and I will die on a battlefield. Camelot is sacked and even my sister will die beside us. And for you, this affliction will only grow worse with time.”

He shook his head and practically snarled at her. “I’ve already told Arthur my price. I’ll provide the troops, but only if I can have Evaine.”

“And that’s why we can’t let the enchantment continue,” Merlin said. “Is it your wish to end this burning you feel?”

“Of course, you may try if you wish, but it isn’t possible,” Accolon said. “I shall die for Evaine.”

“Then I suppose the choice is made for both of us,” Morgana said.

She took one last look at Merlin, and he nodded. She told Merlin _I’m sorry, my love_, then took a deep breath, and pulled Accolon in for a kiss. When their lips first made contact, she felt the magic surge through her body. Accolon deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping past her lips. She had flashes of memory, nights she had called him into her chambers as he had stood guard outside her door. Of hungry kisses, sensual caresses. She was feeling something more, something deeper. She loved him.

“Morgana,” he moaned against her lips, pulling her close. “I love you.”

“Accolon,” she exhaled. “My love.” She kissed him again.

Merlin fled the room as quickly as he could, nearly crashing into Alice and Kara in the hall. He ignored their calls, instead heading to the stables. He had just saddled up his horse as Lancelot and Mordred entered the barn.

“Where are you off to, Merlin?” Lancelot asked.

Merlin wiped furiously at the tears on his face. “Nowhere important. Just going for a ride.”

Mordred frowned. “The counter-spell. It worked?”

Merlin mounted his horse. “It’s done. She is with Accolon now.”

“And you’re off to do something incredibly foolish to chase the pain away,” Lancelot said.

Merlin sniffed. “Probably.”

“Then we’re going with you,” Lancelot said.

“We are?” Mordred asked. “Where is it we’re going exactly?”

“Knowing Merlin, we’re going to track the escaped prisoners and find Morgause,” Lancelot said.

“To find Morgause and kill her,” Merlin said, with a murderous look in his eyes.

Lancelot and Mordred exchanged a look and silently mounted their own horses and followed after Merlin.

. . .

One moment they were kissing and the next, Morgana suddenly felt light-headed and collapsed in his arms.

“Morgana!” Accolon yelled, laying her down on the cot and rushing out into the corridor. “Please! Someone help!”

Gaius, Alice and Kara rushed in.

“What’s happened?” Gaius asked, examining her.

“We were kissing, and she just fainted,” he said with alarm.

Gaius looked at Accolon with annoyance. “It’s just dehydration, she’s prone to fainting spells like this. Give her some air. In fact, you need to go see King Arthur immediately.”

“I will take you to him, My Lord,” Kara said, looking at Morgana with concern. “He’s expecting you.”

Accolon reluctantly left her behind, looking a bit dazed himself, and followed Kara to see Arthur.

Gaius and Alice looked Morgana over. “Something isn’t right, she’s far too pale and she’s feverish. She’s unresponsive to smelling salts. Gaius, what’s happened?”

“I told you this was a mistake,” he grumbled. “Can you see the glow coming off of her? It’s almost… ethereal.”

“I don’t understand what’s happening,” Alice said. She got a wet wash cloth and wiped the remaining salve from Morgana's lips.

“We need to cool her off, bring her fever down, figure out the source of the affliction. Where did Merlin go?” Gaius looked around.

“I’m not sure. He ran off. Mordred went after him,” Alice said, pressing cool, damp rags to Morgana’s face.

“He needs to bring him back. And we need some answers from that Druid. Keep her cool,” Gaius said, running from the room as quickly as he could.

Gaius rushed into the council room, gasping for breath. “Begging your pardon, Sire. I need the assistance of Sir Leon, it is an urgent matter.”

“Is Morgana all right?” Accolon asked, alarmed at the sight of the flustered old man.

“Of course, My Lord,” Gaius put on a fake smile. “She awakened soon after you left. She’s drinking water and resting. She asked before she went to sleep that you please hurry to provide the troops to support Camelot, and not disturb her rest.”

“I shall do as she wishes,” he assured him. Accolon turned away as Gaius grabbed Leon and pulled him from the room. “Arthur, again, I am so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. But rest assured, I shall make amends to Lord Ector and Lady Evaine for my grave insult, and earn back your friendship. I wish to marry your sister.”

Arthur gave a strained smile. “My sister is free to marry the man she loves.”

Balinor spoke up. “Kilgharrah is prepared to bring King Accolon to Gaul to summon his men.”

“See it done immediately, Lord Balinor,” Arthur said. Balinor escorted Accolon out of the council room. Arthur couldn’t help but smirk as he heard Accolon nervously ask about the trip on the back of a dragon.

Once they were gone, Arthur and Gwen sought out Gaius, who was still out of breath and back at Morgana’s side.

“Can someone please tell us what is going on?” Arthur demanded.

“Morgana has reacted badly to the spell. While it seemed to work as intended on Accolon, it has made Morgana extremely ill,” Gaius said.

Arthur looked around. “Where the hell is Merlin?” he muttered angrily.

“He ran off before she collapsed, he was understandably upset. Mordred went after him,” Alice said. “He doesn’t know she’s ill.”

“We’ve sent Kara and Sir Leon back to the Druids to see if they can shed light on the reaction she’s having,” Gaius said, replacing the cold compress on Morgana’s head.

“Dammit,” Arthur pounded a fist on the table. “I never should have let her…”

Gwen held him close. “Arthur, it was Morgana’s choice. And right now, Accolon is headed to Gaul to send us the reinforcements we need. I spent the morning writing to our remaining allies in hopes others will join our cause. We can’t waste time second-guessing her actions. We just need to find a way to help her, while we prepare for war. We have to be strong, for her, and for Camelot.”

. . .

“Stay here, I’m dealing with her myself,” Merlin said, dismounting a safe distance away from the cabin.

“Not a chance. There are at least four other sorcerers in there, you’re going to need our help,” Mordred said.

“Let me check it out and see what I can find,” Lancelot said, shedding his noisier armor. “I know you’re angry, Merlin, but we don’t want any surprises.”

Merlin sighed. “Fine.”

“Do you think if Morgause dies, the spell will die with her? Is that why we’re here?” Mordred asked.

“I can only hope,” Merlin said.

Lancelot returned sometime later. “They’re all in there. If Mordred and I can lure them out, you can face Morgause.”

“Let’s do it,” Mordred said with a grin. “I have an idea.”

From their mounted horses, Mordred shot a fireball at the cabin. It burst into flames, and amid a great deal of screaming, the occupants began to file out, coughing, and dousing the flames with summoned water. Mordred continued firing at them until they began to scatter to find a more strategic position.

“Morgause! Face me!” Merlin screamed.

She turned and looked at him with surprise. “Emrys. You’ve grown bold.”

He hit her with a blast of magic, knocking her backwards before charging forward. She cast a counter-spell before he could hit her again. They continued, back and forth, their magic hitting all around them as they each deflected.

Morgause was bleeding profusely, and crawled back into the cabin.

“Face me!” Merlin screamed again. “You’ll die for what you’ve done to Morgana. It’s over!”

He entered the cabin and found her laying on the floor, holding a bundle in a blanket.

Morgause glared at him. “I wish no harm upon Morgana, but she needs to join the right side. If you had any sense, you would too. You know of the prophecy. You know what the future holds.”

“The future is what I’m fighting,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Think, Merlin,” she said, coughing up blood. “What would Morgana think if she knew you’d killed her sister? How could she ever love you after that?”

“You’ve already killed her love for me,” he said, raising his hands to strike her down.

Morgause gave him a confused look, then whispered into the bundle. Suddenly, from the blanket, a giant slug lunged at him. He tried to dodge it, but was too late, it latched on to him. From behind him, Lancelot struck it with his sword.

“What the hell!” Lancelot exclaimed, looking at the goo oozing from his sword with disgust.

While they were distracted, Morgause plunged her sword into Merlin’s stomach and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

“Merlin!” Lancelot exclaimed, catching Merlin and placing a hand over the wound. “Mordred! Quickly! Merlin needs help!”

Mordred rushed in and did the best he could to slow the bleeding, but his healing knowledge was basic at best.

“We need to get him back to the castle for Morgana to heal him,” Lancelot said.

Mordred nodded. “Quickly, or I fear we will be too late.”


	37. Chapter 37

Aglain was able to revive Morgana with a healing incantation, but she was extremely weak. He stood in the hall outside Morgana’s chambers, giving report.

“Morgana is a very powerful sorceress. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that her body would try to dispel the enchantment. This isn’t as powerful an enchantment as the original, it’s distilled, but it has weakened her considerably. Her body is fighting it like an infection.”

“What will happen?” Kara asked solemnly. “Will she recover?”

“I don’t know,” Aglain said, kindly. “All I know is she needs to rest, and not use any magic, or else her life could be in danger. Any exertion could take away her consciousness again, and I don’t think we could awaken her. I must leave now before nightfall, but I am afraid this is all I can do for her.”

“Thank you, I will inform the King,” Kara said, walking him out.

Gwen sat beside Morgana in her bed, gently brushing her hair as Arthur fed her some broth.

“Arthur, you are the king, you needn’t fuss over me. Surely, we have servants for such chores,” Morgana gave him a weak smile.

“Just because I’m king, doesn’t mean I can’t care for my sister. I need to know you’re going to be okay,” Arthur said, the worry adding years to his handsome face. “If something happened to you, I could not bear it.”

Gwaine rushed in, breathless. “Sire, it’s Merlin, they’ve returned. He’s been seriously injured. Fight with Morgause.”

Morgana looked up in confusion. “Morgause?”

“He confronted her. She’s nearly killed him, he’s in bad shape,” Gwaine said grimly.

“What of Morgause?” Morgana asked. “Does she live?”

“As far as we know, My Lady. She escaped,” Gwaine responded, clearly confused by Morgana’s lack of concern for Merlin.

“Go on, Arthur, you need to help your friend,” Morgana said.

“Is that all he is? My friend?” Arthur asked, hurt in his eyes.

Morgana looked confused, like she was forgetting something. She twisted the gold ring around on her finger.

“Go on, Arthur, I’ll look after Morgana,” Gwen whispered, taking the bowl from his hands.

Arthur nodded, and followed Gwaine.

. . .

“He should be healing faster than this,” Gaius muttered, as Alice applied healing salves to Merlin’s wound, soundlessly chanting an incantation. Merlin was incredibly pale, having lost a great deal of blood. His heartbeat had been so faint when he arrived, Gaius’s own heart nearly stopped at the thought they’d already lost him.

“What did she do to him?” Arthur asked Lancelot and Mordred, who were flipping through Gaius’s textbooks on magical creatures.

“She flung some enormous slug at him, it looked like it was feeding off of him before I killed it. Then she stabbed him and disappeared. She was quite injured herself, but I imagine she survived if she was strong enough to cast her spell to escape,” Lancelot said.

Arthur grabbed one of the books and began turning the pages, looking for an illustration of “enormous slug.”

“He’s stable for now,” Gaius said kindly to Hunith, who had hold of her son’s hand.

She looked up at him, her face pale with worry. “My poor boy. Balinor told me what happened with Morgana. I should have known he would do something desperate.”

“Sit with him and watch him, Hunith. I need to figure out what Morgause did to him before I can figure out how to heal him,” he said, patting her back comfortingly.

“Look, here it is, a Gean Canach,” Lancelot said, pointing to the page.

“You’re sure?” Mordred asked. “Gaius, I thought those damned things were extinct?”

“Apparently not. If that’s the case, his magic is gone. That explains why he isn’t healing as quickly as he should be,” Gaius said.

Arthur paled. “His magic is gone? The most powerful sorcerer to ever live has no magic and is seriously injured, and my sister is seriously ill and unable to do magic. How are we supposed to heal either of them?”

They all exchanged a look of utter despondency.

. . .

Morgana was sleeping soundly in the bed, with Aithusa curled up next to her, and Gwen on the other side who had also dozed off, despite it being early evening.

_“Papa! Papa, where are you?” the little dark-haired girl called. _

_“You’ll just have to find me!” his voice called in the distance. _

_Her blue eyes twinkled with mischief as she used her magic to pull apart the shrubbery rows across the maze. “I found you!” she laughed with delight._

_“Vivienne, that’s cheating,” Merlin scowled, crossing his arms. _

_She giggled and leapt into his embrace._

_“Mama says it’s ‘creative problem-solving,’” she said obstinately. _

_“You are very much your mama’s daughter, you clever girl,” he said, laughing and hugging her tightly._

Morgana awoke with a start.

Merlin? Why would she dream of Merlin’s child? And the girl, she looked so familiar.

She was feeling much stronger. Careful not to disturb Gwen or the sleeping dragon, she pulled on her robe and a pair of slippers.

She decided she would pay Arthur a visit, who was spending the night watching over Merlin. Perhaps she could help, now that she was feeling a little stronger. Perhaps that was why she had the dream.

“What are you doing out of bed? Are you all right?” Arthur said, fussing over her.

“I am much better, I promise. It must have just been something I ate, I’m sure it was nothing,” Morgana said. “How is Merlin?”

“He’s not good,” he said, frowning. “I was just about to wake up Gaius, he’s starting to struggle with his breathing. His lips are blue.”

“Here, let me have a look,” she said, sitting on a stool next to him.

“Okay, but no magic, remember?” Arthur said.

She put her hands on him and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “His magic is gone. Why is his magic…? Oh no.”

Her eyes widened. He’d stopped breathing. She felt for a heartbeat, and found none.

“Get Gaius, quickly!” she shouted. Arthur ran to wake the man, while she took a deep breath.

She shot a surge of magic into his chest, hoping to restart his heart. “Breathe, dammit!” she said. She pinched his nose, and opened his mouth, feeling no breath and his chest was not rising. She chanted an incantation and blew air into his mouth. Nothing.

“No. Merlin, please,” she said, beginning to panic. She grabbed his hand to check again for a pulse, and that’s when she saw it, the ring that matches hers. Memories of them flooded her head. Feeling dizzy again, she fired another blast of magic into his chest, giving him every bit of magic she could summon. He gasped for air and opened his eyes.

She collapsed on the floor in a heap.

“Morgana!” Arthur shouted, rushing towards her, as Gaius tended to Merlin. Alice bent down to help Arthur with Morgana.

Merlin sat up, in a great deal of pain still from the wound on his side. “What’s the matter with her?” he gasped.

“Did she use her magic?” Arthur demanded.

“I believe so, yes,” Merlin said. “I think… I think I was dead for a moment there.”

“Morgana might be the same,” Arthur said, panicked, gathering her in his arms. “She wasn’t supposed to use her magic. She’s fighting off the enchantment, and it’s killing her.”

“But how…?” Merlin asked, groaning in pain as he stood up.

“It’s as though her body is rejecting it,” Alice explained, helping Arthur put her on the cot where Merlin had been laying. Merlin tried to help and was shooed away by Gaius.

“Merlin, you’re going to make things worse by reinjuring yourself,” Gaius scolded.

“I’ve already made things worse. If she hadn’t healed me…” he whispered.

“You’d be dead,” Arthur said, distressed. “Now, magic or not, we need to find a way to save my sister!”

Merlin nodded. “We need to take her to the Crystal Cave, in the Valley of the Fallen Kings. The Cave can restore my powers, but I believe there’s someone there who can heal her.”

“Gaius, inform the Court where we’ve gone,” Arthur said, carrying Morgana in his arms to the stables.

“Sire, it’s already dark!” Gaius said. “The way is full of bandits.”

“I will waste no time to heal her,” Arthur said, Merlin following behind him. “Merlin, where do you think you’re going? You’re in no shape to travel.”

“If it were Gwen, would you stay behind? I love her, Arthur. I won’t be parted from her,” he said, pulling on a clean shirt with a great deal of difficulty.

Arthur nodded. “Fine. We need Kara to come with us, in case we need a healer.”

“I will awaken her, Sire,” Alice said. “Sir Mordred as well.”

Lancelot, Mordred and Kara accompanied them, riding as quickly as they could with a still-injured Merlin and an unconscious Morgana in the arms of the king.

. . .

Mordred and Kara set up camp while Lancelot helped support Merlin into the Crystal Cave, Arthur still carrying the unconscious Morgana. They built a camp fire and huddled together for warmth.

“I’d never seen Merlin so crazed as when he went up against Morgause,” Mordred told her. “Losing her broke something in him. If this doesn’t work, if she dies…”

“It has to work. For all of us. Morgana means too much to us all,” Kara said, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“She saved my life, along with Merlin and Arthur. Nursed me to health in her own bed when I was a child. And then she saved you, which is nothing short of destiny. I never thought I’d see you again, Kara. It was as though a piece of my heart was missing from my chest,” he said, holding her close. “I think I can understand Merlin’s madness. If I were to lose you again…”

Kara looked up at him and smiled softly. “You won’t.” She leaned up to kiss him.

“I am yours,” Mordred said. “I have always been yours.”

“And I am yours,” she smiled, kissing him again.

. . .

“Where do we go in here, Merlin?” Arthur asked, trying his best not to jostle the unconscious Morgana. “Are we looking for something in particular?”

Lancelot had a strong grip on Merlin, keeping him upright. Merlin still winced with pain, even with the support. Neither the long ride nor the trek through a damp cave was doing him any favors. Morgana’s magic had resuscitated him, but not fully healed him.

Merlin picked a spot on the ground. “I suspect here is as good as any place,” he said, grunting as Lancelot helped him sit. “Here, bring Morgana to me.”

Arthur placed the sleeping Morgana in his arms, trying not to hurt Merlin further in the process.

“Leave us. Go join Mordred and Kara in the camp. Morgana wasn’t clear on what must have restored my magic in this place in her vision, but I had a previous encounter here years ago, when you were healed by what I believe was an apparition,” he said to Arthur.

Arthur kissed his sister gently on her forehead and whispered reassuring words to her, as Lancelot set down the bedroll and supplies for Merlin.

Once they’d left the cave, Merlin could no longer keep it together. He clung to Morgana tightly, tears stinging his eyes.

“This is my fault. I thought I could handle losing your love so long as you were safe. But I confronted Morgause and my anger and jealousy made me vulnerable. And you, you’re so selfless. You don’t even love me anymore, and you saved me despite being so ill. Despite a warning that using your magic could possibly kill you. Please, someone, hear me. Heal her!” Merlin commanded, trying to feel the magic in this sacred place.

“Emrys,” Taliesin said, as he appeared before him. “I’ve been expecting you.”

“Please, can you heal her?” Merlin begged.

“She’s already healing. This place, it will rejuvenate her. The conflict in her must be resolved, however; the competing magic is tearing her apart.”

“Competing magic?” Merlin looked confused.

“What did you expect would happen when you said your vows and blessed your rings, and then tried to enchant your promise away? You wed her before the enchantment took hold,” the man said, pointing to the gold band on Merlin’s finger.

“That’s why she’s ill?” Merlin asked, stunned. “But we didn’t _really_ get married, we…”

“You think a marriage is a piece of paper issued by the crown? You bound yourselves together for eternity,” he said. “There’s magic in that promise.”

“What happens to her now? Will she recover?” Merlin asked, stroking her hair tenderly.

“What did you see when you were last here? When you looked into the crystal?” Taliesin pivoted. “What did the future hold?”

Merlin shook his head. “It didn’t make sense, it was just these tiny fragments of the future.”

“Tell me,” he said.

“Flashes of Morgana and Arthur mostly. Things that have since occurred, like Morgana being crowned Princess,” he said, remembering that day fondly. She looked so beautiful, although he knew she had still been so conflicted about Uther, and about her place in Camelot.

“And things that have not occurred?”

“Scenes of war. Things that didn’t make sense, like a child I’ve never met.”

“A child?”

“A little girl, calling for her father.”

“I see,” Taliesin said. “You aren’t a seer like your witch. Using the crystals doesn’t give you context of what you see. Look again, and focus. You may find the truth.”

“The truth of what?” Merlin looked up to find the apparition had disappeared.

With great care, and not an insignificant amount of pain, Merlin shifted Morgana onto the bedroll and then stood up to go look into a crystal. Would this even work without his magic, he wondered?

_“Papa! Papa, where are you?” the little dark-haired girl called. _

_“You’ll just have to find me!” he heard his own voice called in the distance. _

_Her blue eyes twinkled with mischief as she used her magic to pull apart the shrubbery rows across the maze. “I found you!” she laughed with delight._

Merlin gasped as he realized. The child was his. But how could that be possible? Could he really love again after Morgana? Because he didn’t dare hope the child’s mother could be…

He sat back down on the ground and looked at the ring on his hand. He’d made a promise. No, if the child isn’t Morgana’s, then the child couldn’t be his. Perhaps she’s a Druid foundling. Maybe that’s what the vision is trying to tell him, there is a child out there who needs his help. But he couldn’t help but think the child seemed so familiar, with her dark curls and blue eyes. His eyes.

He realized he’d never asked the apparition how he would get his magic back, but as he eyed the sleeping Morgana he realized he didn’t care. All that mattered is that she should be healed.

Exhausted and in pain, he laid beside Morgana on the ground to sleep.

. . .

“Morgana,” a voice said. “It’s time to wake up, you’ve been asleep much too long.”

Morgana opened her eyes and gasped. “Mother? Is it really you?”

Vivienne smiled brightly, a shimmering blue hue around her form. She looked exactly the same as she last remembered her, flowing blond locks and kind eyes. “I am here, my precious daughter.”

“Oh Mother! I’ve missed you so much! How is this possible?” Morgana said, standing up to embrace her.

“This is the birthplace of magic, and you were born of magic,” Vivienne answered, her hands stroking Morgana’s face before she stepped away.

Morgana looked around. “Is this the Crystal Cave? Why are we here?”

“You were dying. Your love brought you here to heal.”

“My love?” she asked. She was suddenly so confused.

“Your sister has taken a dark path, and her magic has consumed you. You made a sacrifice to save a friend, to save an alliance, to save your brother. But you didn’t know that what you had already promised was stronger than any dark magic. You are stronger,” she said.

“I don’t remember, Mother. Everything is so blurry,” she said, her head engulfed in a fog of confusion.

“You cannot heal until you remember. You must remember,” Vivienne said. “Who brought you here? Tell me.”

Morgana looks down at the sleeping figure on the ground. “Merlin.”

“Who is he to you?” Vivienne prompted.

“He’s…” Morgana strained to remember. “He was Arthur’s manservant, his friend, my friend. He has magic. He helped me with my magic. He’s now a noble, a member of the court, the Court Sorcerer. He was injured, no, he was dying. His magic was gone. I was with him as he died, and I,” she looked at her hands in shock. “I brought him back. It nearly killed me.”

“Why would you do that?” Vivienne asked.

“Because I love him,” Morgana whispered, unsure. “There’s something else I’m forgetting, I’m sure of it. What could it be?”

“Here, my child, take my hand,” Vivienne said, reaching for her.

A vision appeared in front of her.

_Merlin slipped the gold ring onto her finger. “Fàsaidh ar gaol.”_

_Morgana took the other ring from him and brought it to her lips. “Merlin, it was your love that saved me from the darkness.”_

_“I promise you now, this moment, if it’s all we have, I am yours, and you are mine.” _

_She slipped the ring onto his finger. “Fàsaidh ar gràdh.”_

Morgana gasped, looking down at her hand. “We said our vows. We are bound! How could I have forgotten?”

“The enchantment made you forget, but the magic of your vows kept your heart from accepting it. The result has made you very ill. Saving Merlin’s life nearly killed you. Merlin brought you here to be healed, for you both to heal. You’re strong enough to resist your sister’s dark magic.”

“Mother, please… Morgause… am I strong enough to save her?” Morgana asked, tears streaming down her face.

“Oh, my sweet girl, she’s not yours to save,” Vivienne said, holding her in her arms. “If it’s one thing I would have taught my daughters had I lived, it was that others cannot save you from your own choices, you can only choose for yourself.”

“But Merlin has saved me…”

“No, my dear child, you saved yourself. You saw what your future would become and you changed it. You changed yourself. You found forgiveness in your heart, and you found love. For your father, for your brother, and for the man who would have ended your life. Instead, now he’s given you a life,” Vivienne said, smiling. “This is your doing, and your choice, Morgana. All you needed was to remember. Love is impossible to forget.”

Vivienne pulled away, beginning to fade. “Rest now, my child. We will be together again.”

Morgana laid back down on the sleep mat beside Merlin, and shifted herself into his arms.

. . .

Merlin awoke to hair tickling his nose. A head full of dark locks to be exact. He hadn’t gone to sleep holding her. Had she moved in the night? “Morgana?” he whispered.

“Mrrmph,” she said, snuggling into him closer. He expected the weight of her against his chest to hurt, but found he had no pain. The sorcerer must have healed him; he was no longer injured at all.

“Morgana,” he said again, louder, giving her a little shake.

She opened one eye and looked at him with annoyance. “I’m trying to sleep, Merlin. It’s been a rather taxing week.”

He let out the breath he was holding and laughed. “You’re awake! Are you feeling okay, Your Highness?”

“What’s with the formality? Is that some sort of new bedroom talk you’re wanting to try?” she murmured into his chest.

“Wait. What?” Merlin asked. “Morgana? Do you…?”

“You really aren’t going to let me sleep, are you?” she sighed. “Fine. But be quick about it, I want to sleep more before the sun comes up.” She unlaced his trousers, and grabbed hold of his cock.

“Morgana,” he groaned, growing hard in her hand. Was the enchantment really broken?

“Are you just going to lay there, Merlin, or are you going to properly make love to your wife you have so rudely awakened in the middle of the night?” she asked, testily.

He laughed, and kissed her hard. “You remember.”

She grinned as she kissed him again, shifting on top of him. “Did you really have so little faith in me? Don’t be such a dollop-head. Of course, I remember.”

. . .

Morgana and Merlin walked out of the cave holding hands, just as Lancelot and Mordred had finished packing up the camp. The sun was just beginning to peak through the dense trees surrounding the cave.

“Morgana!” Arthur exclaimed, running to hug her tightly. “You’re okay?” he asked.

“I’m perfect. The enchantment is broken,” she said, her face pressed into his shoulder.

“So, that means you two…?” Arthur asked, knowing the answer when he saw the grin on Merlin’s face.

“Survived the counter-spell and Morgause’s dark magic,” Morgana said, pulling away. “Merlin’s magic is restored, and he’s been fully healed.”

“I’m so relieved. Morgana, what you were willing to sacrifice to save Camelot, to save me, I can never repay that debt,” Arthur said, looking pained.

“I did my duty, Arthur,” she said. “I would do anything for you, and for our kingdom. And I will be at your side as we fight the coming war.”

“Speaking of which, let’s go home. We’ve got a war to prepare for,” Arthur said.

“Not yet, we need to make one stop on the way,” she said, taking Merlin’s hand.

“Where?” Merlin asked, confused.

“To the Lake of Avalon,” she smiled, squeezing his hand. “To see a lady about a sword.”

. . .

Merlin and Morgana held hands at the shore, staring into the water, Arthur a few steps behind them.

A figure rose from the water.

“Our Lady of the Lake, we are blessed,” Morgana said, with a deep curtsey.

“Greetings, Morgana Pendragon, daughter of magic, descendant of the Fey. I have what you seek,” Freya said, surprisingly not wet despite emerging from the water.

“You are also what we seek,” Morgana said, feeling Merlin tremble beside her.

“You have my blessing, you know this already,” Freya smiled.

Morgana returned her smile. “I know. It isn’t me who needs it.” She squeezed Merlin’s hand, then having curtsied again, turned to her brother, taking his arm as they walked away.

“Who is that?” Arthur whispered, looking back in wonder.

“She was once the woman Merlin loved, and lost, before me,” Morgana said softly. “She was a cursed soul he found and helped to free, and now she is a spirit who embodies the Lake of Avalon. It is for her love of Merlin that she will help us now.”

Merlin boarded the small boat and directed it forward to where Freya stood, half-submerged in the water.

She smiled at him. “Merlin, I’ve missed you.”

He found he couldn’t speak, overcome with emotion at seeing her again.

“I swore I would repay you, and now is the moment. You and your bride have earned this gift through your sacrifice. This sword has the power to save Albion. The scabbard has the power to protect your king.”

“Thank you,” he said, as she handed him the sword, in a leather scabbard. He strapped it to his waist.

“No. It’s given me the chance to see you again,” she smiled. “I am glad for you, the happiness you have found. Protect it. It is precious. What she will give you is precious.”

Freya took his face in her hands and kissed him chastely. Although she looked solid, she was but an echo, and he could only barely feel her presence on his skin, like a warm breeze. “Until we meet again on these shores,” she whispered, disappearing into the lake in a mist.

Merlin returned to the shore to catch up with the rest of the group, and found Morgana waiting for him.

“Thank you for understanding,” Merlin said quietly to Morgana. “I hope it doesn’t hurt you.”

She kissed him gently. “It doesn’t. Your love for her is part of you. And I love all of you.”

He embraced her, holding her tight. He knew what it was to lose the woman he loves, to lose her to death, and he had very nearly experienced it again. This time, he suspects, he wouldn’t survive the pain. _Protect it. It is precious_.

Putting himself back together, he kissed her again and pulled away. They walked back to the others.

“This is meant for you, Sire,” Merlin said, removing the scabbard from his waist.

“A sword? Is that why we came all this way? From a lady in a lake?” Arthur asked, confused. He unsheathed the sword. “It’s a fine sword, certainly.”

“It’s more than that, it was forged in dragon fire,” Merlin explained.

“There’s magic coming from the scabbard as well,” Morgana said. “It’s enchanted?”

“Freya said it would protect Arthur,” Merlin said.

Arthur looked at it nervously. Morgana put a reassuring hand on his arm. “If Our Lady of the Lake says it will protect you, then we are blessed indeed.”

Arthur nodded, and secured the scabbard at his hip. “If you trust her, then I do.”

They mounted their horses to return to Camelot.


End file.
